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Proforce — I am...
Published: 2008-07-16 01:11:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 339; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 6
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"I Am..."by Robert Brown
What a simple phrase this is
Most people could complete it readily
But are the answers meaningful?
Thought out?
Are they even true?
Allow me to try my hand at this
And I will see just how truthful
I can be.
I am...happy
I have a relatively good life
And a number of close friends
My writing is enjoyed by many
And I have touched many lives
I don't want for much
And what there is I don't need
But the truth is
There is an emptiness inside
One that has existed a long time
And may never be filled
A gaping hole in my heart and soul
That grows a little larger every day
I don't always feel it
Especially when I am with those I care for
But I am constantly aware of it
So I guess in reality
I am...sad.
I am...brave
I'll try everything at least once
There is nothing I can't do for the ones close to me
Whatever it takes
Whatever the cost
I will keep any promise I make
But the truth is
Being brave is only a facade
Easily cracked when examined closely
My honor is a shield
Protecting me from the things
I would rather not do
Because I promise knowing
I will never be called on to fulfill them
So I guess in reality
I am...a coward.
I am...strong
I can take the world's problems onto my shoulders
And solve them all one by one
I can support anyone through any
Difficulty they may face
Help them beat them back
Until they find their way home
But the truth is
I cannot handle my own problems
And I hide it by helping others
I do not know how to ask for help
Nor how to accept it
Or to even want it
So I guess in reality
I am...weak.
I am...a help
Always there for my friends
Without being asked
Without reservation
Giving of myself without
Asking anything in return
Or wanting anything either
But the truth is
I do it to help myself
I want people to rely on me
It is how I measure my own worth
If they all became self-sufficient
I would become nothing
I keep them dependent
For my own sake not theirs
So I guess in reality
I am...a hindrance.
I am...alive
Blood courses through my body
Pumped along by every beat
Of my heart
My brain works as do
My other organs
But the truth is
I am merely surviving
Day to day I go through the motions
Flashes of life becoming
All too brief in my soul
Seconds and minutes
Hours and days
All blurring together like some
Unfocused picture until it
All fades away
So I guess in reality
I am...dead.
Comments: 14
I like your style. The way the piece ebbs and flows matches a rhythm... almost like a song, or wind over a wheat field.
You address the question, "Who am I?" so one can assume that, unless you are an undying narcissist, that it will be dark.
It would have been nice if there'd been some kind of hope at the end... a kind of helping hand for the reader to see that this darkness doesn't have to be the ultimate end. That was my only real problem with the piece. Other than that, it is everything you are, nothing you're not.
Just remember, when you put your soul into a piece, that someone, some day, is going to try to take a chunk out of it. Be cautious.
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I agree, it would have been nice to have a brighter ending, but many times when a person looks into a mirror that shows their true inner self, they don't like what they see. Mow, perhaps that image is distorted by self-contempt or the inability to see the good in oneself, but that is left for the reader to determine. Think of it almost as a warning in that way. "Is this what I will see? Dare I look for myself? Will I see things as they truly are?"
The problem is, I don't know how not to put myself into a piece. If I hold back, it feels stilted and dry, lacking emotion and polish. Yes, I could be hurt by it, if someone chooses to rip me apart, but it is not for them I write. It is for the people, like you, that appreciate and support my work.
After all, as the Garth Brooks song goes, "life is not tried, it is merely survived if you're standing outside the fire." I've done more than my share of merely surviving. It is my time to live.
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Good points all... Thank you for your willingness to share.
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Such a beautiful poem! It's very dark, but very well written. Kudos to you!
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Thank you for the comment and the fave. It means a lot to me to be able to bare my soul at times and for others to find it beautiful. Thank you again.
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Not a problem! I enjoy reading your stories/poems.
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I read this and I thought "Wow, this is probally gonna have alot of favorites" Then I saw only one and was like "WHAT?!" I cant believe this hasn't gotten the atention it deserves. The poem was beautifull and deserves to be noticed.
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Thank you so very much for the kind words. I've always been nervous about sharing my poetry, and to be honest when I didn't get many comments or favorites I thought I had failed. You've given me a little hope back.
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Your welcome. :3 Your poetry is beautifull and I hope to see more!
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;_;
This is very revealing and the flow of it is easy,I can almost feel a rhythm to it, kind of like a heart beat . I know mines moving a little faster after reading. Quite emotional as well....
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Everyone has their own inner demons to deal with. When I wrote this last year, the big one for me was self-doubt. Even though I don't struggle with it as much now, this is still a very powerful poem and helps to remind me of where I've been. Thank you for the comment sweetie.
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I wish I had the courage to post my poems, but they tend to be graphic and morbid... mostly about depression and suicide, which are a dime a dozen on the internet...
And anytime hun!
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Thanks a lot for being my first commenter. My only commenter it seems!
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