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Description
     Life can sneak up on you sometimes.  Great feelings can be reversed in a heartbeat.  My childhood may not have been perfect, but I was content.  But everything changed...
     I became a nothing.  I felt so horrible, I didn't even care about friends.  I would walk down the hall at school, eyes down, thinking about how I dreaded going home.  At home, I sat in my dark room, dreading going to school.  There was no spark in life, no will, no desire.  Everyday I went through the same monotonous motions.  Seemingly free, but not really.
     At extremely low times, sometimes I wanted someone, anyone, to talk to.  I used to be friends with Marci.  The memories with her cut me.  We were best friends, inseperable.  We did everything together.  I would give anything to have one more giggly sleepover with her, anything just for her to let me sit by her at lunch.
     As I sunk into my depression, she grew boobs and got her braces off.  I fell as she rose to the height of popularity.  I try to catch her eye, willing with all my mind for her to remember.  She never looks my way.
     Invisible.  Unable to find happiness, I accept.
     Today I woke up.  Just the same as every other day.  Today I went to classes.  Just like every other day.  School finally is over.  I don't want to go home, so I decide to wander the streets.
     Walking down the street, alone, I see her.  My old best friend.  Surprisingly, she's alone too.  Maybe I can talk to her and get her to remember.  Suddenly, she's looking right at me, what is this?  She slowly starts to smile.  I've waited for this for years.  I smile back, my first smile in months.  Just as I think she's actually going to speak to me, she walks right past me.  I abruptly turn in horror as I see her greeted by her 6 or so brainless, worshipping friends.  I snap back around and look down at my dirty converse.  Humilated...alone.

                  *       *       *       *       *

     I can't fake it anymore.  I'm not going to pretend it's ok.  This pain is becoming too much to handle.  I try drinking it away, but it only makes me feel worse.  I need something permanent.  Everything hurts.  Life hurts.  I can't even look at myself in the mirror.  I hate me!  What's wrong with me?  Why?  Why am I so alone?  Forgotten.  Not even my parents notice.
     I go into the bathroom.  I force my eyes to meet the eyes in the mirror.  Who is that?  A pale girl with desolate eyes and cut up lips from me biting them.  I lean closer, my eyes are hollow.  There's nothing there.  I'm gone.  I'm simply a body still functioning.  No life, no exhileration.
     I stare at my horrible face in the mirror.  Empty.  Devoid of any emotion except profound anger.  Anger for myself.  I'm so sick of that face!  With all the strength I can muster, I punch the mirror.  The last thing I see is my mouth open, screaming in agony.  The glass flies everywhere.  The glass cuts me.  I feel the sharpness sting through my whole hand.  It's so real.
     I'm going to end this misery.  Consuming anguish can make you do anything to get out of it.  Even if that thing is death.  At least in death, I will no longer know this pain.  As I look around to find anything to kill myself with, I notice the glass shards.
     Perfect! So sharp.  I pick up a piece and start digging.  I pierce my skin.  Little beads of blood appear on my perfect, white arm.  I cut deeper and deeper.  My blood is oozing out of my arm.  The pain is all physical, no longer emotional.  It completely takes my mind off of this life, but this pain could never compare to the emotional.  I feel a burst of anger and use all my remaining strength for one last deep cut.  The blood is now pouring out onto the floor like a waterfall.  This last slit ends it all.  As I fade into blackness, wasted hopes are all that I remember.


                    *       *       *       *       *

     I open my eyes.  All I see is a blinding white light.  Am I dead?  Suddenly I blink and the room comes into focus.  I see a light above me, I'm laying on a bed.  Where am I?
     The beep of a heart monitor interupts my thoughts.  A wave of consciousness overcomes me.  I'm not dead, I'm in a hospital.  I close my eyes and groan in despair.  I not only didn't succeed, but now everyone knows.  Everyone knows I'm suicidal.  What are they going to do?  What's going to happen now?

Description
     Life can sneak up on you sometimes.  Great feelings can be reversed in a heartbeat.  My childhood may not have been perfect, but I was content.  But everything changed...
     I became a nothing.  I felt so horrible, I didn't even care about friends.  I would walk down the hall at school, eyes down, thinking about how I dreaded going home.  At home, I sat in my dark room, dreading going to school.  There was no spark in life, no will, no desire.  Everyday I went through the same monotonous motions.  Seemingly free, but not really.
     At extremely low times, sometimes I wanted someone, anyone, to talk to.  I used to be friends with Marci.  The memories with her cut me.  We were best friends, inseperable.  We did everything together.  I would give anything to have one more giggly sleepover with her, anything just for her to let me sit by her at lunch.
     As I sunk into my depression, she grew boobs and got her braces off.  I fell as she rose to the height of popularity.  I try to catch her eye, willing with all my mind for her to remember.  She never looks my way.
     Invisible.  Unable to find happiness, I accept.
     Today I woke up.  Just the same as every other day.  Today I went to classes.  Just like every other day.  School finally is over.  I don't want to go home, so I decide to wander the streets.
     Walking down the street, alone, I see her.  My old best friend.  Surprisingly, she's alone too.  Maybe I can talk to her and get her to remember.  Suddenly, she's looking right at me, what is this?  She slowly starts to smile.  I've waited for this for years.  I smile back, my first smile in months.  Just as I think she's actually going to speak to me, she walks right past me.  I abruptly turn in horror as I see her greeted by her 6 or so brainless, worshipping friends.  I snap back around and look down at my dirty converse.  Humilated...alone.

                  *       *       *       *       *

     I can't fake it anymore.  I'm not going to pretend it's ok.  This pain is becoming too much to handle.  I try drinking it away, but it only makes me feel worse.  I need something permanent.  Everything hurts.  Life hurts.  I can't even look at myself in the mirror.  I hate me!  What's wrong with me?  Why?  Why am I so alone?  Forgotten.  Not even my parents notice.
     I go into the bathroom.  I force my eyes to meet the eyes in the mirror.  Who is that?  A pale girl with desolate eyes and cut up lips from me biting them.  I lean closer, my eyes are hollow.  There's nothing there.  I'm gone.  I'm simply a body still functioning.  No life, no exhileration.
     I stare at my horrible face in the mirror.  Empty.  Devoid of any emotion except profound anger.  Anger for myself.  I'm so sick of that face!  With all the strength I can muster, I punch the mirror.  The last thing I see is my mouth open, screaming in agony.  The glass flies everywhere.  The glass cuts me.  I feel the sharpness sting through my whole hand.  It's so real.
     I'm going to end this misery.  Consuming anguish can make you do anything to get out of it.  Even if that thing is death.  At least in death, I will no longer know this pain.  As I look around to find anything to kill myself with, I notice the glass shards.
     Perfect! So sharp.  I pick up a piece and start digging.  I pierce my skin.  Little beads of blood appear on my perfect, white arm.  I cut deeper and deeper.  My blood is oozing out of my arm.  The pain is all physical, no longer emotional.  It completely takes my mind off of this life, but this pain could never compare to the emotional.  I feel a burst of anger and use all my remaining strength for one last deep cut.  The blood is now pouring out onto the floor like a waterfall.  This last slit ends it all.  As I fade into blackness, wasted hopes are all that I remember.


                    *       *       *       *       *

     I open my eyes.  All I see is a blinding white light.  Am I dead?  Suddenly I blink and the room comes into focus.  I see a light above me, I'm laying on a bed.  Where am I?
     The beep of a heart monitor interupts my thoughts.  A wave of consciousness overcomes me.  I'm not dead, I'm in a hospital.  I close my eyes and groan in despair.  I not only didn't succeed, but now everyone knows.  Everyone knows I'm suicidal.  What are they going to do?  What's going to happen now?