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Published: 2009-03-23 04:29:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 204; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 4
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Description
Flame of desire, burning brighter with thepants of the sinners, down below where
the water hisses into bright steam, with
each drop reflecting a hint of passion,
or a pinch of despair. Embers growl
and crumble, their hearts sputtering
out a last cough of flame before
their charred remnants collapse
into chalky ash,
that which lines the faces of the fallen;
makeup from regrets that you cannot wash off.
Howls rise up and drag at the walls,
clawing their way to the top of
the tiny hole where the dead leak through,
souls dripping like rain from the
tear in the sky,
only to crisp in the flower of napalm that
embraces them slowly, and then
spits them out into a world where the
Devil dances with Fate,
hand in hand with smiles
of crushed coals.
Spirits drink sorrow,
while the ghouls drink greed,
sips of vices
that ignite more than intoxicants,
hiss more than hallucinogens.
The drugs of the damned are
the sins of the living,
and there's plenty for all
in the place where the
screams echo out to
cuddle the dreams
of the sinned.
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Comments: 13
Greki [2009-03-31 03:15:59 +0000 UTC]
While “Writer’s Block: A Battle” was significantly entertaining, I do believe this one to possess more feeling. The fear instilled on us when we grow—by our mothers, or grandmothers… any in charge of nurturing our moral selves—of committing a sin was truly made present in this piece, when you made those ideas, those words of punishment all too physical. I’m deeply impressed! X3 Great job!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Prosaic-Scriptor In reply to Greki [2009-03-31 03:24:51 +0000 UTC]
Yes, I agree completely. The "Writer's Block" one is more... entertainment poetry, while this one, for me, was more soulful and... emotional, I guess.
Thank you, I'm glad you thought so.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Greki In reply to Prosaic-Scriptor [2009-03-31 13:28:23 +0000 UTC]
Indeed it is more soulful. x3
You're welcome! Thanks for sharing your works with us!
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Liduen-Kvaedhi [2009-03-23 19:38:17 +0000 UTC]
As far as I could tell, this is written very well.
Great job.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Prosaic-Scriptor In reply to Liduen-Kvaedhi [2009-03-24 03:26:32 +0000 UTC]
Well, that sounds quite swell. Thank you. For the fave, too.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Blueskye27 [2009-03-23 14:51:52 +0000 UTC]
Wow, what a frightening few of hell, especially the image of souls dripping in through a hole in the ceiling, and to think that they're fed or sustained by the sins of the living... Very nice work.
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Prosaic-Scriptor In reply to Blueskye27 [2009-03-24 03:26:53 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, Cindy. ^.^
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Prosaic-Scriptor In reply to RalfMaximus [2009-03-29 18:42:47 +0000 UTC]
I was totally mystified by that till I reread my author's comments.
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MistressWinter [2009-03-23 05:07:26 +0000 UTC]
That... was so good. Really, it was. The imagery was fantastic and upon realizing it was Hell you were speaking of, it started to get a little hot in here
I really liked it, you're a damn good writer!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Prosaic-Scriptor In reply to MistressWinter [2009-03-29 18:43:04 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, your comments make my day!
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