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punctual3 — Violence Against Men
Published: 2013-04-28 17:44:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 2884; Favourites: 114; Downloads: 0
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*Wait till the stamp finishes its animation before you fave.I have no problem whatsoever with people trying to bring attention to violence towards men. Even though it happens at a smaller scale than violence towards women, it still needs to be recognized and stopped. However, it is not OK to dismiss violence (including sexual assault) towards women as something along the lines of "not happening as often as people say". It is also not OK to bring up violence towards men during a discussion about violence towards women. I've seen a lot of MRAs do this.
In other words, [link]
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Comments: 73
If you do does that make this stamp a bit redundant then?
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It's not redundant to me.
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I really hesitate to comment on such a tender topic because my neutralist values often get me in trouble with both sides of an argument rather than neither. However, I don't believe its fair to say that one group does something more than another unless there is valid evidence. Now I do realize that we all surround ourselves with different types of people and the data we collect is most commonly our own personal observation with the people we see the most, so your observation with your social circle has been that violence towards men by women is less common than violence towards women by men. I honestly used to believe this also (ironically more because of a patriarchal view than a feminist one). But I have recently had confessions from some of my close friends that they had been abused by their significant other, I heard equally as many testimonies female friends. I believe to acknowledge the equal rights and privileges of both genders, you must also acknowledge the equal prospect of violence from each.
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I'm only speaking from personal experience when it comes to derailing such issues.
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That is as I thought, but so was I. I was simply trying to demonstrate how are personal experiences form our realities.
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"It is also not OK to bring up violence towards men during a discussion about violence towards women."
So much applause for this. People of all stripes need to keep this in mind, especially when discussing an issue that involves victims of abuse. "You keep talking about anti-gay abuse, but Christians are persecuted too!" Not okay. "You keep going on about violence against women, but men experience violence too!" Not okay. "You're complaining about abuse in the homeschooling community, but what about all of the abuse of public-schooled students?" Not okay. "Oh, his wife abused him? Well now he must know what it's like to be a woman in this culture." Not okay. I hope your description makes people think.
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Even when one is linked to the other in the way of societal causes? Domestic violence in both cases is domestic violence. This indicates a possible link in the causes for a certain number of both kinds of cases.
IE a potential solution to BOTH problems.
If such things are the case is it still automatically not okay to bring up violence towards men in a discussion about violence towards women? A true discussion never discludes any subject because of an unjustifiable absolute rule defended by one of it`s participants for this very reason. You never know where there may be relevant links.
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I suppose I should have specified that it is /usually/ inappropriate, because it is often a method to divert the subject from the relevant topic and/or invalidate a victim's experiences. Note that I specifically stated "discussion of violence against women" not "domestic violence" because domestic violence would, of course, need to involve a discussion of both genders since it is not gender-specific. Anyone who claims otherwise would not have my support. On the other hand, if the discussion is specifically about violence towards women, diverting the issue is generally bad form and destructive to productive conversation. Of course, there is violence against both genders, just like there is violence against all races, classes, religious groups, etc, but that doesn't make it wrong to discuss ONE of these violent problems specifically and exclusively. Often there is much to be gained from discussing the particular experiences of one group that is not necessarily reflected by the others. In the same way, I would strongly object to someone interjecting into a conversation about the unique plight of male victims of domestic violence with a pitch about female victims. It muddies the issue and breeds resentment and is often used to silence a specific group. This is why male victims of domestic violence are so often marginalized... because people want to dismiss the problem as a women-only problem. That is not okay. That is why I generally think that it is bad form to divert a conversation from one group's unique experiences to another's. There is a time and place for such discussions, but that is not the time or place. That is my opinion anyway. Thanks for reading!
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No. Male victims of domestic violence are marginalized because of the "violence against women" thing propagated by some feminists and because of patriarchy, not because women throw in their domestic violence experience to discussion. At least 1 man is a victim of domestic violence for every 3 women. They can't be drowned out by experiences of the women in a discussion.
On the other hand they can be silenced by some feminists presenting domestic violence as "violence against women" and by patriarchal machismo. Especially, if funds for fighting against domestic violence are getting misappropriated for advertising campaigns that erase male victims and female perps.
What is "groups unique experience"? What does it even mean? Individuals have unique experiences, not groups. It would suggest that for example a woman being being beaten and stalked by mentally unstable husband has more related experience to a woman getting drugged and raped during a party than to a man being beaten and stalked by a mentally unstable wife. It doesn't make sense.
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Kind comment is kind 
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I usually see this kind of thing in the opposite way. Feminists that I have seen tend to bring up violence towards women in a conversation about violence towards men because they feel the need to give across the impression they care about one more than the other (or they just say that outright because they don't care for mens rights). It's kind of sickening. Both of them should be addressed the same way without this whole "who has it worse" ideal.
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From my personal experience, I've seen MRAs do this more often, but on both parts, it's not OK.
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My uncle was abused by his ex-wife. She forced a ring onto him so tight they had to cut it off. She would beat herself then call the police and say he'd beaten her to try and get him thrown in jail whenever they had a fight and she was mad at him. She would slap him and kick him and verbally abuse him. She used the children he loved dearly as leverage to get him to stay and pay for her drug and alcohol problems. No, it doesn't happen as much but that doesn't mean it's less important. Violence toward both men and women should be stopped.
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Stamp never implied that violence towards men was less important. I agree that both must be stopped. If what you say about your uncle's ex-wife is true, than I wish the worst for her.
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I didn't say that it did
And she went to prison for a while, we don't really keep track of what she's up to now. Last I heard she's still got a drug problem.
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What I can't stand is that half the people bringing up violence against men only do so to discredit people fighting violence against women. They don't give a damn about male victims of rape and domestic violence. They ignore male victims, or shame them for not being tough enough to handle it. But then when violence against women is brought up, suddenly they're pretending to be advocates for male victims. 
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It's very sickening indeed
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