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purrrplcat — Common Writing Errors
Published: 2010-03-05 14:19:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 1401; Favourites: 23; Downloads: 15
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Description
Most of us know clumsy sentences when we hear or read them, but we don't always know exactly why they are clumsy or possess the skills to fix them. Here's a sentence that needs a little work:The network that this computer is able to connect to contains information that is privileged and confidential.
The clumsiness is caused by several common writing errors:
Unnecessary dependent clauses
Get rid of that is/which is, that are/which are clauses whenever possible.
Extraneous verb phrases
Delete verb phrases that don't add meaning: is able to.
Subjects too far away from their verbs
Place subjects closer to their verbs: computer connects, network contains.
Redundancy
Weed out repetitious words: Confidential and privileged mean the same thing in this context.
Finally, tweak the wording so that the sentence flows:
This computer connects to a network containing confidential information.
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Comments: 15
You're very welcome...
My apologies for having taken so long to acknowledge your kind words! I have been so busy with editing that I stop here only to approve deviations for my group. Hopefully within the next week I will be able to come and stay a while!! I've really missed being on dA on a (semi) regular basis!!
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D: The final sentence sounds so different. I'm impressed by how simple it is.
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Thank you. I appreciate knowing it's understandable, let alone simple!
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That first example is exactly how I write. In english.
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I know exactly what you mean. In other languages, complicated structures sound nice, when done right. In English, it's all about keeping it simple. This is the kind of stuff people who write in English as their second language need to work on.XD
So thank you for the tips, Purrrplcat!
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I'm not sure what it is you're saying here (if you DO write like the first example, then you're not using correct grammar), but just FYI — it's "English," (capital "E").
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Sorry, it was kind of a weird joke (probably a bit too insider joke), I meant I'm fine with my first language, but I tend to mix things up in ...English.
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Ahhh...okay now I understand. Thanks for explaining.
What is your first language?
Let me just say that knowing now that your first language is not English, you do very well with it! English is probably THE most difficult language there is. I can hardly keep up with all the changes and modifications to grammar rules. And British (European) English is, for the most part, the opposite of American English (with regard to grammar and especially punctuation!) It can be very frustrating!
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My first language is Hungarian, which is often labelled as a very difficult language to learn, mostly because the numerous verb structures and the lack of logic in the grammar rules.
Most of the time when my English seems weird it's because I use the Hungarian grammar to build up a sentence, or I mirror translate some phrases. Oh, and there are the differences between British and American English, and since they practically teach us a mixture in school, it's very hard to differentiate them afterwards. English punctuation is not taught at all in schools.
I've learnt English for about 5 years, I have an advanced level language exam as well, but it's still very hard to translate my hubgarian writing into English. Not only because of the grammar, but I constantly have the feeling that some of the meaning gets lost.
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So easily understandable, especially when the same word can have two or three different meanings! ARGH! I find it frustrating at times...it must drive you crazy!
You do remarkable well!
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I think this could easily get more detailed with more examples.
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Absolutely. I find, however, that people tend to read these little mini tutorials if they're short and to the point. I usually go into more detail on my blog.
Thank you for the suggestion though! This is how I determine what people what like to see, or know more of. I'll be sure to include examples, or more of them in upcoming posts.
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...This hasn't been commented on yet?
It looks like simple stuff, but it's really important, especially for burgeoning young writers.
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