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A Love Out of Reach Part 15
TFG1 OPxJ (HINTED ?xOP)
A Terrible Past

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In all his life, Jazz had never been to any sort of event that honoured the ones who had joined with the AllSpark. In the slums, if someone had passed away no one would really care to think about it. In fact it never really bothered Jazz when mechs he knew had died, to him it was just something that was bound to happen eventually and that there was nothing he could do about it. It was life, plain and simple. Now that he was up in the world of the Higher Up's, he was surprised to learn that every now and then, they would gather at a memorial, built in memory of the one who's Spark no longer pulsed, and honour them so that they could be remembered. Both he and Optimus, along with a few others, had been invited to honour Senator Prixus's late Mate, Melodia.

He wasn't sure what to think.

He didn't know who this femme was or why everyone loved her but apparently she was quite popular, even after her passing. He had heard stories of how she died and that it was all Prixus's fault but others have said if she had not broken the Kaon law she would still be functioning. Jazz wasn't too sure which story was the right one but he didn't really know her. Who was she? What did she do that made the higher up's want to honour her in death? He had heard that she was quite beautiful and was well remembered for being kind and gentle, caring for those less fortunate. He didn't know that much about her unfortunately and none of the others spoke of her, almost as if it was forbidden.

Optimus had told him that she had cared for Ultra Magnus and himself when they were younger and he wanted to at least visit her memorial alongside Prixus, in the hopes that they could show their compassion for his late mate's memory and could start afresh with their current relationship. He even had Prowl fetch some Crystalis Plants, crystals that formed star shaped plants, so that he could place them before her memorial. Jazz felt guilty for not having anything to give but the Prime said that being there was just enough.

So there they were, walking through a very quiet garden filled with nothing but glowing blue plants, crystals and golden statues of mechs and femmes who had passed on. Jazz tried to be respectable, knowing that this was a very serious moment and he didn't want to be rude. Unlike down below, the higher ups up here wanted to remember them forever and thus honour them here, in this garden of remembrance. Jazz was in a whole new world and here things worked differently.

He saw a few other mechs standing before other statues. They were all quiet and seemed to be in a world of their own. Some looked sad, others deep in thought and other ones looked a little happy for some reason. The young Gamma focused on where they were going and tried to give these other visitors their privacy.

'It feels so...weird in here,' voiced Jazz, wanting to get rid of the eerie silence.

'I know how you feel. Every time I come here...my Spark swells with sadness and remorse,' sighed Optimus.

'It's kinda creepy,' chuckled Jazz, trying to make a small joke.

When Optimus did not respond to his little farce, he kept quiet.

They continued walking until at least they reached a small clearing where Jazz spotted Ultra Magnus, Alpha Trion and Senator Prixus. Thankfully since they were in this place of respect and remembrance, Ultra Magnus wouldn't try anything and neither would Prixus. They were talking amongst themselves, in quiet tones, under a golden statue of a femme, who the Gamma guessed was the Lady Melodia. As they got closer, Jazz was able to get a good look at her and, he had to admit, she was quite beautiful.

A long slender frame, a beautiful and graceful face, two golden rings pierced into her long and decorated horns and from them trailed a long thin veil that blew gently in the wind. Jazz could only stare at her in awe for she truly was a beauty. Why anyone would go ahead and execute this beautiful femme was a mystery to the young Gamma.

Also...he couldn't explain it but...a strange nostalgic feeling came over him as he gazed up at her...and he found that he felt sad for some reason. He didn't know who she was or what she was even like, but now he found that it pained him to know that she was dead.

He continued to gaze up at her as Optimus laid the Crystalis Plants at the foot of the memorial and Alpha Trion spoke.

'Seems like only yesterday she was trying to keep you two from running off,' he chuckled.

Ultra Magnus coughed upon remembering the old days and he looked up at the statue as well with a rare look of respect in his optics.

'She was indeed a good and well cherished citizen of Cybertron.'

Senator Prixus didn't seem to really care what the others were saying about his late mate and just casually looked up at her with no look of regret or sorrow...just bitter hate.

'She was I suppose...it was a shame that I had her executed but she did break a Kaon law and we all know that the laws must be obeyed,' he spoke in a cold tone.

No one spoke after that but Jazz could not believe he was acting like this around the memorial of his late mate! Yes, he may not fully understand why the higher up's did this sort of thing, but the young Gamma could not believe that he was acting so disrespectful! Optimus and even Ultra Magnus came here to have a special moment to remember a femme who had cared for them when they were younger and he was ruining the whole thing! And why was no one saying anything? Was it true that she broke a Kaon law? Did that mean it was alright to mock her at her grave? If the others truly cared for her than why did they not say anything? Was keeping their partnership so much more important?

Optimus had spotted the confusion and hurt in Jazz's optics upon hearing what Prixus had coldly stated and he quickly rose, guiding the young Gamma away whilst the other three talked in quiet tones.

'I thought ya all came to respect her, not to laugh at her,' hissed Jazz, surprised that he was angry about the whole thing.

The Prime sighed heavily.

'Believe me Jazz but I too feel nothing but hate when he speaks ill about her. However as a Prime I cannot express my true feelings on anything personal and neither can my brother and father. To Cybertron, she was indeed a good femme but she broke a Kaon law and thus I have no right to argue with Senator Prixus about his decision.'

Upon hearing that a sudden swirl of emotions filled Jazz.

That was right, Optimus was the Prime. The leader of the people of Cybertron and therefore he had to set an example to others. He didn't know much about leadership and all but after he told Prowl stories about Mac, his old boss back down in the slums, the Beta mech laughed and stated that a leader was someone who hid his emotions for his priority was to the people he was in charge of. He was supposed to care for them, look after them and make sure that they were as happy as they could be. Since Optimus was the Prime that was his job every single sol!

Before he became a Prime, Optimus was surprisingly rebellious and always spoke his mind. He would always speak out at others who would talk about their own personal ideals that would go against his morals and get angry if someone insulted one of his friends. In fact, Jazz was ordered to not share this with anyone, but Optimus almost threw an Alpha off the highest tower when the vain mech attack Bumblebee, who was delivering him a pile of data pads. The Alpha fled from the city a few days after the incident, not wanting to come anywhere near the larger Omega Superior.

Now that he was a Prime, Optimus could not even attempt to do anything like that!

It was...quite sad actually.

He was a good and just mech and even though he was the Prime with all that power, he was still trapped behind his new title and unable to voice out his inner most feelings. He could only imagine how much he was trying to hold back his rage whenever Prixus spoke ill about the femme who practically acted like his mother when he was little.

It didn't seem fair.

Optimus smiled from under his mask and patted Jazz on the helm.

'I'm sure that she is happy in her resting place, knowing that there are those who still loved her in this life.'

He guessed so but it still seemed like an excuse.

'Optimus Prime, might I have a word with you?'

Alpha Trion called out softly to the Prime and the large mech excused himself from Jazz for a moment to see what his father wanted, leaving the young Gamma alone to admire the graceful statue of the fair femme.

As he looked at her, he felt that funny feeling again. Like an old memory was trying to surface but he wasn't sure what it was. It was difficult to determine what it was that was bugging him. All he could feel was sadness and he didn't know why. He didn't know this femme, he didn't know what she was like but deep down he found that he was truly sad she was gone. It was odd since he didn't really care for those who had died in the past but now...he felt nothing but hurt deep inside of his Spark.

'She was truly a beautiful Superior Femme. Like a rare star that outshined the rest!'

Jazz flinched when he detected that Prixus was right behind him, speaking right into his audios. Frag that was all he needed!

'It was a real shame that I had to order her death, but in Kaon if you break the law you will pay for it with your very Spark!'

The Gamma said nothing, not wanting to speak to this disturbing mech. He wanted to flee but he didn't want to cause a scene in front of Optimus, his brother and his father. He almost squeaked with fear when he felt something thin and sharp trail along his shoulder plates.

'What about you Jazz? Do you think it was wrong of me to have her killed? I'm very interested in what a Gamma has to say about my deceased mate! After all you don't really have any laws down there...except of course the law that your kind must never go up!'

Prixus purred as he trailed a sharp finger across the young Gamma's frame. Poor Jazz wasn't sure what to say about it. His optics darted over to where Optimus stood, the Prime unaware that Jazz was in a sticky situation. He didn't want to offend him in fear he would cause a political mess but he didn't want to be anywhere near him.

'I...I think it's shame that she died,' he said in a quiet tone.

'Hm...it is. I did love her but...now I find that I have no love left for her. The poor bitch has only herself to blame and look what it got her. A cheap statue in a forgotten part of the garden.'

Primus, he was shaking like mad and everything! He wasn't sure if it was the rage from the way he was talking about the Lady Melodia or his fear of this disturbing mech.

'Are you mad at me? Angry that I'm insulting her memory?'

He wanted to shout and scream at him for being so cruel but for Optimus's sake he held it all in! Was this what his beloved Prime went through when someone insulted something he held close to his Spark? It was like he was getting ripped in two and it hurt! His anger almost overtook him but he tried to remain in control as he answered.

'I find it...sad that you seem to enjoy insulting her memory in front of the Prime. You clearly enjoy it.'

Jazz almost winced when he felt that Prixus had gripped his shoulder plate so hard it almost crumpled in his hand! Clearly he was angry that Jazz said such a thing but he kept quiet for some reason. Jazz was now feeling scared. He wanted Optimus to come over and get him away from this creepy mech but Alpha Trion had him locked in a deep conversation. He almost jumped out of his armour when he felt the Senator rest his chin on his shoulder, now looking in the same direction the young Gamma was looking.

'You like him, don't you?'

His optics must have widened into two large orbs when he heard those words. No way! There was no fragging way he could mean...did he know? How did he ever find out? He told no one!

'W-what do you mean, sir? He is my friend!' he asked, trying to
keep calm.

Prixus laughed in his audios.

'Oh don't worry my dear Jazz, I won't tell anyone but it is so obvious that you have taken a liking to our dear Prime!'

Senator Prixus sneered, leaning into Jazz a little too close for comfort.

'The way that you look at him...I can see your yearning for him! I can see that desire to hold him like lovers would hold one another! Though I can't blame you my dear Jazz, he is indeed a handsome mech. Then again, that was what got him into trouble the last time he dated someone!'

What?

'Oh, you didn't know? Optimus was in love with another before he met you...pity it ended in such a tragic way. I myself found it amusing, the poor fool was young and naive! Thinking he had found 'the one' that would make his life complete! Thinking that he was the luckiest mech in all of Cybertron...he was such a fool and he still is!'

Jazz could only listen to those toxic filled words with disbelief.

'No one talks about it now in fear they would mentally damage him. Ultra Magnus himself was on the verge on despair when that dark day came. You should have seen the look on their faces. The pitiful fools. Still, it taught him a lesson!'

Looking over at Optimus, Jazz could see he was finishing up on the conversation he was having with his family. Senator Prixus took that as his cue to leave Jazz's side but as he moved he whispered something that chilled Jazz to the core.

'He won't have you...though I wouldn't mind! I would gladly make you mine!'

Prixus smirked as he left, walking off towards Alpha Trion, the other three mechs unaware of what he had done to the Gamma. Hearing that threat almost made Jazz fall over in disgust and shock. His Spark pulsed like mad and he wanted to purge his tanks. He had to grab the statue for support in fear he would actually fall over. All that information and learning that the Senator of Kaon now had a disturbing fetish for him! The poor Gamma couldn't take it! It was like someone had just placed a bomb inside of him and it had just set off, releasing toxic and bile into his systems.

'Jazz?'

The Gamma looked up to see a concerned Optimus looking down at him.

'Are you alright? You look a little pale.'

Jazz could only look at Optimus with horror and confusion! Was what Senator Prixus said true? Optimus had loved another before him? He was in love with someone else and that he was happy back then? If it was true then what did he mean it ended in such a tragic way? What happened? Was that the reason he had that scar under his mask or did he get it some other way? Was the Senator telling the truth?

He was in such a shock he didn't notice that Optimus had placed a hand in his forehead.

'Hmmm...maybe I should have Ratchet come fetch you. You don't look very well!'

As Optimus spoke, he failed to notice the way Jazz was looking at him. He had forgotten all about what Prixus had revealed what he wanted from him and he found that could only think of Optimus. All that the young Gamma could think about was,

'Who hurt you?'

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Sitting in the med bay and slumping over his chair, Jazz looked down at his pedes as Ratchet tended to him. The medic was wondering what was wrong with the young Gamma when Optimus brought him in all of a sudden. The only symptoms the young Gamma displayed were a pale and sickly looking face and an overheated possessor. Other than that he was fine!

Optimus claimed that they went to the memorial garden together to visit the memorial of the Lady Melodia and he seemed fine as they were going in but all of a sudden the young Gamma suddenly looked faint. Concerned for his health he made the right choice to bring him here.

Ratchet was a little concerned when Optimus admitted he turned his back on Jazz whilst speaking with his father and he was pretty certain that Senator Prixus was talking to him during that time. The Prime could only assume that the Kaon Senator said something that upsetted the young mech. The medic sneered at the thought of that foul mech saying something to upset Jazz. It was his specialty after all to make others ill with his accursed words. All Jazz needed was a glass of Energon and some rest. He should be fine after a small pep talk.

The Prime was thankful but he had to leave due to some business with his family. He said goodbye to both Jazz and Ratchet and quickly left them alone. The medic could only hope that Prixus hadn't said anything too hurtful to Jazz, he was a tough mech after all so nothing he would have said should affect him like this.

'Alright kid, let me get you some top grade Energon and we'll talk,' suggested Ratchet, using a pleasant tone.

Jazz nodded but didn't respond vocally.

He was still in shock to hear that Optimus had been in love with someone else! Well, it wasn't really that part that bothered him, for Optimus must have had a few romances in the past so it wouldn't surprise him too much if he suddenly said that he used to have a mech or femme friend. It was the other part, that fact that it all ended in a tragic way that it even effected Ultra Magnus, the Supreme Commander who showed no emotion whatsoever! What had happened to him back then? How bad was it and just how badly did it effect Optimus?

He glanced up at Ratchet, now pouring him a glass of Energon. The beta Medic had been working here for some time now so...maybe he knew what had happened back then. Jazz felt bad for wanting to know something that Optimus probably didn't want others to know but...he just had to know! He wanted to know what had happened to the mech he had fallen for!

As Ratchet walked back, Jazz looked up at him and asked, in a clear tone,

'Ratchet, what happened to Optimus's first love? The one who hurt him?'

The medic almost lost his footing and the Energon in his hands almost split on the floor. He looked at Jazz with shock and what appeared to be anger.

'Who the frag told you?' he snapped.

Jazz winced. He must have stumbled into bad territory.

'I...it was-...'

Before Jazz could finish, Ratchet suddenly raised his hand and motioned him to keep quiet. He then walked around the med bay, checking the entrances and the windows as if he was making sure no one else was about. In fact he even closed the med bay and slammed the windows shut, making sure no one could get in or out. When he was certain that everything was secure he sat on a chair in front of Jazz and glared at the young Gamma. He was clearly angry that Jazz knew such information.

'OK, who told you all this?' he snapped.

Jazz winced, suddenly feeling bad for bringing it all up.

'I...well; it was...Senator Prixus...'

The mention of that name made Ratchet slam a fist down hard on a nearby table and utter a few curses under his breath.

'Figures that fragging slagger would take the opportunity to mess with your CPU!' he hissed.

'B-but what did he mean, Ratchet?'

Ratchet pulled a face to express that he wasn't really keen to talk about it.

'Look kid...I'm not sure that you would want to hear it,' he sighed.

Jazz shook his head and sat up.

'No! Look I understand this is personal and all but I...I care for Optimus.'

That statement made Ratchet raise an optic brow.

'Care?'

Jazz blushed a little.

'I...I really like him...and I'm just...concerned...so please! Please tell me! I don't want to do anything to hurt him but I have to know!'

Ratchet did look a little amused when Jazz admitted that he did 'care' for Optimus but the medic could see the concern in his optics. Now that he knew Optimus once had a past love life that went terribly wrong, he had to know so he wouldn't repeat the same mistakes. Then again, he was a dear friend of the Prime and the medic guessed that maybe that Jazz should be allowed to hear the truth.

'Fine I'll tell you! But you have to promise not to share this information with anyone! Understand?'

Jazz nodded, determined to learn Optimus's past so he could not hurt Optimus's future. Ratchet just sighed and leaned back, his mind now walking down memory lane.

'Where to begin? Primus, it only felt like yesterday when it all happened! It was about fifty vorns ago. Optimus was known as Orion back then and he was working in the great Archives and loving it. In fact it was around the time Ultra Magnus was promoted to Supreme Commander! The Alpha's threw a party for him and everything to celebrate his new role in Iacon! His own father came down to congratulate him and Optimus bought him that nifty looking stylus he keeps on his desk all the time! Heh, that stubborn mech was on top of the world that night! Then...he showed up...'

He?

'I was flirting with some femmes at the time so I didn't pay any real attention but I noticed that this big silver mech had made his way over to Ultra Magnus and Optimus. He was talking to them and it looked like he was trying to get friendly with them. Of course I didn't know what happened during the party but afterwards when I visited Optimus in the Archives Chamber he started to go on about how he met this charming Superior class noble from Kaon. He seemed intrigued but at the time he wasn't too interested. However I came back a few sols later and found that this so called noble was there talking with him. I didn't want to interrupt so I left them alone.'

Ratchet sighed and shook his head.

'Those who knew about and even Ultra Magnus and myself thought that Optimus had found a suitable mate and so we gave them the opportunity to get closer to each other. I rarely saw them but I heard all the sweet gossip and whatnot, like how he would grab his hand and tell him how pretty he looked. The funny thing was that I never knew his name since I was forbidden to speak to Optimus during that time. Ultra Magnus thought that having a Beta nearby would put the noble off so I only spoke to Optimus when he came in for checkups. I heard the gossip that he got gifts and notes and all that other lovely dovey crap and I even thought that this mech was clearly the one. I even noticed that Optimus had this dreamy look in his optics when he day dreaming on the job and he even walked around with one of those gifts he got like it was a medal. It was cute and everyone was happy for them...until...'

He now slumped over and the tone got darker.

'I went to visit Optimus one night for his vornly check up and I ran into him just as he was about to go out. He told me that he got a note from the noble he had been flirting with, asking him to meet him somewhere in Iacon. He told me he would stop by in the morning and I thought nothing of it. I just assumed he was going out to have fun. Of course the next morning he never showed up. I waited, thinking he might be late but already a whole sol past and Optimus wasn't the type to miss a check up. So naturally I went to his workplace and I found he wasn't there. A femme there told me that she had been informed that he had gone away for a business trip, which I found odd...I returned to the med bay I ran into two Enforcers who dragged me up to the City's command post!'

He paused for a moment to drink some Energon, whilst Jazz sat at the end of his seat.

'It was strange when I entered. Everything outside seemed calm and normal but within the Command Post it was in complete chaos! Ultra Magnus was bellowing orders like mad and the moment he saw me, he pretty much threw me into an interrogation room!'

Jazz's optics widened with horror.

'What happened?'

Ratchet folded his arms and looked into the distance.

'He started going on that 'I was the last one seen with his brother' and that 'he wanted to know everything I knew or else he'll rip my head off' and I'll admit I was scared of him at the time! I never seen his so mad! Sadly I soon learnt the truth. That so called noble was actually a member of an underground illegal gladiator group, who held a grudge against the Enforcers. The previous Supreme Commander had been giving them trouble and they wanted to send a message to the new one. I thought it was sick that the mech Optimus thought he was in love with was actually using him to get back at his brother!'

Hearing this awful truth almost made Jazz fall over with shock! Optimus had been...abducted? Kidnapped in the name of revenge? But that wasn't even the worse part! The fact that the noble had 'pretended' to be interested in Optimus was just...awful!

'I was ordered not to tell anyone! They wanted to keep the whole thing a secret in fear that the population of Cybertron might freak out! How could I? I was worried sick! I even went on walks around the lower districts to see if I could find him! Everyone who knew was scared out of their CPU's that the worst may happen, including me! Ultra Magnus...was walking wreak! In public he had a hard keeping his cool and he ordered his Enforcers to search day and night! Some of us had even given up hope.'

The mood in the med bay, which was normally bright, was now very dark.

'Then one day I got a private comm. It was from Optimus. He sounded weak and tired and he asked if I could come and get him. I informed Ultra Magnus and we both speed off to the location. We found him on the outskirts of the city in a construction site and he was in a mess. Gashes across his chassis, a few of his fingers were missing...I'm not going through all the details kid but what they did to him was awful! We were surprised he could walk! We managed to get him back without anyone noticing and me and a few other medics were charged to patch him up! We were all relieved and thanked Primus that Optimus was safe!'

Ratchet then stood up and stretched his legs.

'Of course we fixed him physically but mentally...I still think he's damaged. However he started to act like the whole thing never happened! The moment he walked out of that med bay he was acting like he normally did. The only change he went through was throwing out all those gifts and notes. Other than that he never really talked to anyone what happened during his capture. He gave some small details to his brother but not the whole story. We, his close friends, decided to pretend that nothing had happened too; we just wanted his life to get back on track. Ultra Magnus of course suddenly became overly protective of him and if anyone dared came near him, they had to go through him first!'

The story was drawing to end but it still felt like it was going to go on and on.

'Time passed and Optimus started to develop a rebellious attitude. He would disobey his brother just to get him angry for his own amusement and miss meetings on purpose because they bored him. He even got violent! Like that time he almost threw the Alpha off the tower? I was there! He looked like he was going berserk! Ironhide was called in to train him in self defence and he got good at it. In fact he convinced ol' Ironhide to teach him offensive tactics! We even attempted to talk to him about the whole incident one day but he just changed the subject completely! It was like he had forgotten it completely!'

Ratchet stopped walking about and looked over to Jazz.

'And that's pretty much it. We were all shocked when it was declared he was the next Prime and Ultra Magnus got even more concerned about his safety and we all concerned how it would affect him! So far he's remained calm and in charge but...I still keep my optics on him...I'm...sorry that you had to find out but I guess you were bound to learn of it eventually.'

The medic looked over at Jazz and found that the poor young thing looked like he was about to cry. He walked over and placed a gentle hand on his helm, stroking him in a soothing way.

'I know it hurts...but it's good, it means that I know you really do care for him.'

As he comforted the young Gamma, Jazz could only dwell on what he had just heard.

Optimus...he had only known him for a while and in that short time he found that he now loved him. He loved him so much it hurt. He had never met such a good and kind mech who would take the time out of his life to care for him! To hear that this terrible thing had happened to him in the past...to think that someone he feel in love with betrayed him in such an awful way. To be used in the name of revenge! To be taken advantaged off just because he was related to an important figure! It was just...awful!

And he never spoke about it to anyone! He just kept it bottled up inside and refused to speak with anyone about it. Why? Was he afraid? Afraid how others would react? Was he still suffering because of it? Was he still hurting inside?

'It's OK...just promise me you won't tell anyone? OK? The last thing we all need is Ultra Magnus going on the warpath!'

Ratchet had meant it in a joking manner, wanting to put Jazz back in a calming mood, but Jazz only felt pain and hurt inside. All he could see in his mind was Optimus's kind face smiling down at him, the face of the mech he truly cared for. To think that his face was one filled pain and sorrow due to betrayal...was too painful to imagine.

A loose tear trailed down his face...the pain that Optimus must of gone through...he could almost feel it. His only wish was to know that the Prime that he loved to the point that it hurt was happy and at peace.

Description
A Love Out of Reach Part 15
TFG1 OPxJ (HINTED ?xOP)
A Terrible Past

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In all his life, Jazz had never been to any sort of event that honoured the ones who had joined with the AllSpark. In the slums, if someone had passed away no one would really care to think about it. In fact it never really bothered Jazz when mechs he knew had died, to him it was just something that was bound to happen eventually and that there was nothing he could do about it. It was life, plain and simple. Now that he was up in the world of the Higher Up's, he was surprised to learn that every now and then, they would gather at a memorial, built in memory of the one who's Spark no longer pulsed, and honour them so that they could be remembered. Both he and Optimus, along with a few others, had been invited to honour Senator Prixus's late Mate, Melodia.

He wasn't sure what to think.

He didn't know who this femme was or why everyone loved her but apparently she was quite popular, even after her passing. He had heard stories of how she died and that it was all Prixus's fault but others have said if she had not broken the Kaon law she would still be functioning. Jazz wasn't too sure which story was the right one but he didn't really know her. Who was she? What did she do that made the higher up's want to honour her in death? He had heard that she was quite beautiful and was well remembered for being kind and gentle, caring for those less fortunate. He didn't know that much about her unfortunately and none of the others spoke of her, almost as if it was forbidden.

Optimus had told him that she had cared for Ultra Magnus and himself when they were younger and he wanted to at least visit her memorial alongside Prixus, in the hopes that they could show their compassion for his late mate's memory and could start afresh with their current relationship. He even had Prowl fetch some Crystalis Plants, crystals that formed star shaped plants, so that he could place them before her memorial. Jazz felt guilty for not having anything to give but the Prime said that being there was just enough.

So there they were, walking through a very quiet garden filled with nothing but glowing blue plants, crystals and golden statues of mechs and femmes who had passed on. Jazz tried to be respectable, knowing that this was a very serious moment and he didn't want to be rude. Unlike down below, the higher ups up here wanted to remember them forever and thus honour them here, in this garden of remembrance. Jazz was in a whole new world and here things worked differently.

He saw a few other mechs standing before other statues. They were all quiet and seemed to be in a world of their own. Some looked sad, others deep in thought and other ones looked a little happy for some reason. The young Gamma focused on where they were going and tried to give these other visitors their privacy.

'It feels so...weird in here,' voiced Jazz, wanting to get rid of the eerie silence.

'I know how you feel. Every time I come here...my Spark swells with sadness and remorse,' sighed Optimus.

'It's kinda creepy,' chuckled Jazz, trying to make a small joke.

When Optimus did not respond to his little farce, he kept quiet.

They continued walking until at least they reached a small clearing where Jazz spotted Ultra Magnus, Alpha Trion and Senator Prixus. Thankfully since they were in this place of respect and remembrance, Ultra Magnus wouldn't try anything and neither would Prixus. They were talking amongst themselves, in quiet tones, under a golden statue of a femme, who the Gamma guessed was the Lady Melodia. As they got closer, Jazz was able to get a good look at her and, he had to admit, she was quite beautiful.

A long slender frame, a beautiful and graceful face, two golden rings pierced into her long and decorated horns and from them trailed a long thin veil that blew gently in the wind. Jazz could only stare at her in awe for she truly was a beauty. Why anyone would go ahead and execute this beautiful femme was a mystery to the young Gamma.

Also...he couldn't explain it but...a strange nostalgic feeling came over him as he gazed up at her...and he found that he felt sad for some reason. He didn't know who she was or what she was even like, but now he found that it pained him to know that she was dead.

He continued to gaze up at her as Optimus laid the Crystalis Plants at the foot of the memorial and Alpha Trion spoke.

'Seems like only yesterday she was trying to keep you two from running off,' he chuckled.

Ultra Magnus coughed upon remembering the old days and he looked up at the statue as well with a rare look of respect in his optics.

'She was indeed a good and well cherished citizen of Cybertron.'

Senator Prixus didn't seem to really care what the others were saying about his late mate and just casually looked up at her with no look of regret or sorrow...just bitter hate.

'She was I suppose...it was a shame that I had her executed but she did break a Kaon law and we all know that the laws must be obeyed,' he spoke in a cold tone.

No one spoke after that but Jazz could not believe he was acting like this around the memorial of his late mate! Yes, he may not fully understand why the higher up's did this sort of thing, but the young Gamma could not believe that he was acting so disrespectful! Optimus and even Ultra Magnus came here to have a special moment to remember a femme who had cared for them when they were younger and he was ruining the whole thing! And why was no one saying anything? Was it true that she broke a Kaon law? Did that mean it was alright to mock her at her grave? If the others truly cared for her than why did they not say anything? Was keeping their partnership so much more important?

Optimus had spotted the confusion and hurt in Jazz's optics upon hearing what Prixus had coldly stated and he quickly rose, guiding the young Gamma away whilst the other three talked in quiet tones.

'I thought ya all came to respect her, not to laugh at her,' hissed Jazz, surprised that he was angry about the whole thing.

The Prime sighed heavily.

'Believe me Jazz but I too feel nothing but hate when he speaks ill about her. However as a Prime I cannot express my true feelings on anything personal and neither can my brother and father. To Cybertron, she was indeed a good femme but she broke a Kaon law and thus I have no right to argue with Senator Prixus about his decision.'

Upon hearing that a sudden swirl of emotions filled Jazz.

That was right, Optimus was the Prime. The leader of the people of Cybertron and therefore he had to set an example to others. He didn't know much about leadership and all but after he told Prowl stories about Mac, his old boss back down in the slums, the Beta mech laughed and stated that a leader was someone who hid his emotions for his priority was to the people he was in charge of. He was supposed to care for them, look after them and make sure that they were as happy as they could be. Since Optimus was the Prime that was his job every single sol!

Before he became a Prime, Optimus was surprisingly rebellious and always spoke his mind. He would always speak out at others who would talk about their own personal ideals that would go against his morals and get angry if someone insulted one of his friends. In fact, Jazz was ordered to not share this with anyone, but Optimus almost threw an Alpha off the highest tower when the vain mech attack Bumblebee, who was delivering him a pile of data pads. The Alpha fled from the city a few days after the incident, not wanting to come anywhere near the larger Omega Superior.

Now that he was a Prime, Optimus could not even attempt to do anything like that!

It was...quite sad actually.

He was a good and just mech and even though he was the Prime with all that power, he was still trapped behind his new title and unable to voice out his inner most feelings. He could only imagine how much he was trying to hold back his rage whenever Prixus spoke ill about the femme who practically acted like his mother when he was little.

It didn't seem fair.

Optimus smiled from under his mask and patted Jazz on the helm.

'I'm sure that she is happy in her resting place, knowing that there are those who still loved her in this life.'

He guessed so but it still seemed like an excuse.

'Optimus Prime, might I have a word with you?'

Alpha Trion called out softly to the Prime and the large mech excused himself from Jazz for a moment to see what his father wanted, leaving the young Gamma alone to admire the graceful statue of the fair femme.

As he looked at her, he felt that funny feeling again. Like an old memory was trying to surface but he wasn't sure what it was. It was difficult to determine what it was that was bugging him. All he could feel was sadness and he didn't know why. He didn't know this femme, he didn't know what she was like but deep down he found that he was truly sad she was gone. It was odd since he didn't really care for those who had died in the past but now...he felt nothing but hurt deep inside of his Spark.

'She was truly a beautiful Superior Femme. Like a rare star that outshined the rest!'

Jazz flinched when he detected that Prixus was right behind him, speaking right into his audios. Frag that was all he needed!

'It was a real shame that I had to order her death, but in Kaon if you break the law you will pay for it with your very Spark!'

The Gamma said nothing, not wanting to speak to this disturbing mech. He wanted to flee but he didn't want to cause a scene in front of Optimus, his brother and his father. He almost squeaked with fear when he felt something thin and sharp trail along his shoulder plates.

'What about you Jazz? Do you think it was wrong of me to have her killed? I'm very interested in what a Gamma has to say about my deceased mate! After all you don't really have any laws down there...except of course the law that your kind must never go up!'

Prixus purred as he trailed a sharp finger across the young Gamma's frame. Poor Jazz wasn't sure what to say about it. His optics darted over to where Optimus stood, the Prime unaware that Jazz was in a sticky situation. He didn't want to offend him in fear he would cause a political mess but he didn't want to be anywhere near him.

'I...I think it's shame that she died,' he said in a quiet tone.

'Hm...it is. I did love her but...now I find that I have no love left for her. The poor bitch has only herself to blame and look what it got her. A cheap statue in a forgotten part of the garden.'

Primus, he was shaking like mad and everything! He wasn't sure if it was the rage from the way he was talking about the Lady Melodia or his fear of this disturbing mech.

'Are you mad at me? Angry that I'm insulting her memory?'

He wanted to shout and scream at him for being so cruel but for Optimus's sake he held it all in! Was this what his beloved Prime went through when someone insulted something he held close to his Spark? It was like he was getting ripped in two and it hurt! His anger almost overtook him but he tried to remain in control as he answered.

'I find it...sad that you seem to enjoy insulting her memory in front of the Prime. You clearly enjoy it.'

Jazz almost winced when he felt that Prixus had gripped his shoulder plate so hard it almost crumpled in his hand! Clearly he was angry that Jazz said such a thing but he kept quiet for some reason. Jazz was now feeling scared. He wanted Optimus to come over and get him away from this creepy mech but Alpha Trion had him locked in a deep conversation. He almost jumped out of his armour when he felt the Senator rest his chin on his shoulder, now looking in the same direction the young Gamma was looking.

'You like him, don't you?'

His optics must have widened into two large orbs when he heard those words. No way! There was no fragging way he could mean...did he know? How did he ever find out? He told no one!

'W-what do you mean, sir? He is my friend!' he asked, trying to
keep calm.

Prixus laughed in his audios.

'Oh don't worry my dear Jazz, I won't tell anyone but it is so obvious that you have taken a liking to our dear Prime!'

Senator Prixus sneered, leaning into Jazz a little too close for comfort.

'The way that you look at him...I can see your yearning for him! I can see that desire to hold him like lovers would hold one another! Though I can't blame you my dear Jazz, he is indeed a handsome mech. Then again, that was what got him into trouble the last time he dated someone!'

What?

'Oh, you didn't know? Optimus was in love with another before he met you...pity it ended in such a tragic way. I myself found it amusing, the poor fool was young and naive! Thinking he had found 'the one' that would make his life complete! Thinking that he was the luckiest mech in all of Cybertron...he was such a fool and he still is!'

Jazz could only listen to those toxic filled words with disbelief.

'No one talks about it now in fear they would mentally damage him. Ultra Magnus himself was on the verge on despair when that dark day came. You should have seen the look on their faces. The pitiful fools. Still, it taught him a lesson!'

Looking over at Optimus, Jazz could see he was finishing up on the conversation he was having with his family. Senator Prixus took that as his cue to leave Jazz's side but as he moved he whispered something that chilled Jazz to the core.

'He won't have you...though I wouldn't mind! I would gladly make you mine!'

Prixus smirked as he left, walking off towards Alpha Trion, the other three mechs unaware of what he had done to the Gamma. Hearing that threat almost made Jazz fall over in disgust and shock. His Spark pulsed like mad and he wanted to purge his tanks. He had to grab the statue for support in fear he would actually fall over. All that information and learning that the Senator of Kaon now had a disturbing fetish for him! The poor Gamma couldn't take it! It was like someone had just placed a bomb inside of him and it had just set off, releasing toxic and bile into his systems.

'Jazz?'

The Gamma looked up to see a concerned Optimus looking down at him.

'Are you alright? You look a little pale.'

Jazz could only look at Optimus with horror and confusion! Was what Senator Prixus said true? Optimus had loved another before him? He was in love with someone else and that he was happy back then? If it was true then what did he mean it ended in such a tragic way? What happened? Was that the reason he had that scar under his mask or did he get it some other way? Was the Senator telling the truth?

He was in such a shock he didn't notice that Optimus had placed a hand in his forehead.

'Hmmm...maybe I should have Ratchet come fetch you. You don't look very well!'

As Optimus spoke, he failed to notice the way Jazz was looking at him. He had forgotten all about what Prixus had revealed what he wanted from him and he found that could only think of Optimus. All that the young Gamma could think about was,

'Who hurt you?'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting in the med bay and slumping over his chair, Jazz looked down at his pedes as Ratchet tended to him. The medic was wondering what was wrong with the young Gamma when Optimus brought him in all of a sudden. The only symptoms the young Gamma displayed were a pale and sickly looking face and an overheated possessor. Other than that he was fine!

Optimus claimed that they went to the memorial garden together to visit the memorial of the Lady Melodia and he seemed fine as they were going in but all of a sudden the young Gamma suddenly looked faint. Concerned for his health he made the right choice to bring him here.

Ratchet was a little concerned when Optimus admitted he turned his back on Jazz whilst speaking with his father and he was pretty certain that Senator Prixus was talking to him during that time. The Prime could only assume that the Kaon Senator said something that upsetted the young mech. The medic sneered at the thought of that foul mech saying something to upset Jazz. It was his specialty after all to make others ill with his accursed words. All Jazz needed was a glass of Energon and some rest. He should be fine after a small pep talk.

The Prime was thankful but he had to leave due to some business with his family. He said goodbye to both Jazz and Ratchet and quickly left them alone. The medic could only hope that Prixus hadn't said anything too hurtful to Jazz, he was a tough mech after all so nothing he would have said should affect him like this.

'Alright kid, let me get you some top grade Energon and we'll talk,' suggested Ratchet, using a pleasant tone.

Jazz nodded but didn't respond vocally.

He was still in shock to hear that Optimus had been in love with someone else! Well, it wasn't really that part that bothered him, for Optimus must have had a few romances in the past so it wouldn't surprise him too much if he suddenly said that he used to have a mech or femme friend. It was the other part, that fact that it all ended in a tragic way that it even effected Ultra Magnus, the Supreme Commander who showed no emotion whatsoever! What had happened to him back then? How bad was it and just how badly did it effect Optimus?

He glanced up at Ratchet, now pouring him a glass of Energon. The beta Medic had been working here for some time now so...maybe he knew what had happened back then. Jazz felt bad for wanting to know something that Optimus probably didn't want others to know but...he just had to know! He wanted to know what had happened to the mech he had fallen for!

As Ratchet walked back, Jazz looked up at him and asked, in a clear tone,

'Ratchet, what happened to Optimus's first love? The one who hurt him?'

The medic almost lost his footing and the Energon in his hands almost split on the floor. He looked at Jazz with shock and what appeared to be anger.

'Who the frag told you?' he snapped.

Jazz winced. He must have stumbled into bad territory.

'I...it was-...'

Before Jazz could finish, Ratchet suddenly raised his hand and motioned him to keep quiet. He then walked around the med bay, checking the entrances and the windows as if he was making sure no one else was about. In fact he even closed the med bay and slammed the windows shut, making sure no one could get in or out. When he was certain that everything was secure he sat on a chair in front of Jazz and glared at the young Gamma. He was clearly angry that Jazz knew such information.

'OK, who told you all this?' he snapped.

Jazz winced, suddenly feeling bad for bringing it all up.

'I...well; it was...Senator Prixus...'

The mention of that name made Ratchet slam a fist down hard on a nearby table and utter a few curses under his breath.

'Figures that fragging slagger would take the opportunity to mess with your CPU!' he hissed.

'B-but what did he mean, Ratchet?'

Ratchet pulled a face to express that he wasn't really keen to talk about it.

'Look kid...I'm not sure that you would want to hear it,' he sighed.

Jazz shook his head and sat up.

'No! Look I understand this is personal and all but I...I care for Optimus.'

That statement made Ratchet raise an optic brow.

'Care?'

Jazz blushed a little.

'I...I really like him...and I'm just...concerned...so please! Please tell me! I don't want to do anything to hurt him but I have to know!'

Ratchet did look a little amused when Jazz admitted that he did 'care' for Optimus but the medic could see the concern in his optics. Now that he knew Optimus once had a past love life that went terribly wrong, he had to know so he wouldn't repeat the same mistakes. Then again, he was a dear friend of the Prime and the medic guessed that maybe that Jazz should be allowed to hear the truth.

'Fine I'll tell you! But you have to promise not to share this information with anyone! Understand?'

Jazz nodded, determined to learn Optimus's past so he could not hurt Optimus's future. Ratchet just sighed and leaned back, his mind now walking down memory lane.

'Where to begin? Primus, it only felt like yesterday when it all happened! It was about fifty vorns ago. Optimus was known as Orion back then and he was working in the great Archives and loving it. In fact it was around the time Ultra Magnus was promoted to Supreme Commander! The Alpha's threw a party for him and everything to celebrate his new role in Iacon! His own father came down to congratulate him and Optimus bought him that nifty looking stylus he keeps on his desk all the time! Heh, that stubborn mech was on top of the world that night! Then...he showed up...'

He?

'I was flirting with some femmes at the time so I didn't pay any real attention but I noticed that this big silver mech had made his way over to Ultra Magnus and Optimus. He was talking to them and it looked like he was trying to get friendly with them. Of course I didn't know what happened during the party but afterwards when I visited Optimus in the Archives Chamber he started to go on about how he met this charming Superior class noble from Kaon. He seemed intrigued but at the time he wasn't too interested. However I came back a few sols later and found that this so called noble was there talking with him. I didn't want to interrupt so I left them alone.'

Ratchet sighed and shook his head.

'Those who knew about and even Ultra Magnus and myself thought that Optimus had found a suitable mate and so we gave them the opportunity to get closer to each other. I rarely saw them but I heard all the sweet gossip and whatnot, like how he would grab his hand and tell him how pretty he looked. The funny thing was that I never knew his name since I was forbidden to speak to Optimus during that time. Ultra Magnus thought that having a Beta nearby would put the noble off so I only spoke to Optimus when he came in for checkups. I heard the gossip that he got gifts and notes and all that other lovely dovey crap and I even thought that this mech was clearly the one. I even noticed that Optimus had this dreamy look in his optics when he day dreaming on the job and he even walked around with one of those gifts he got like it was a medal. It was cute and everyone was happy for them...until...'

He now slumped over and the tone got darker.

'I went to visit Optimus one night for his vornly check up and I ran into him just as he was about to go out. He told me that he got a note from the noble he had been flirting with, asking him to meet him somewhere in Iacon. He told me he would stop by in the morning and I thought nothing of it. I just assumed he was going out to have fun. Of course the next morning he never showed up. I waited, thinking he might be late but already a whole sol past and Optimus wasn't the type to miss a check up. So naturally I went to his workplace and I found he wasn't there. A femme there told me that she had been informed that he had gone away for a business trip, which I found odd...I returned to the med bay I ran into two Enforcers who dragged me up to the City's command post!'

He paused for a moment to drink some Energon, whilst Jazz sat at the end of his seat.

'It was strange when I entered. Everything outside seemed calm and normal but within the Command Post it was in complete chaos! Ultra Magnus was bellowing orders like mad and the moment he saw me, he pretty much threw me into an interrogation room!'

Jazz's optics widened with horror.

'What happened?'

Ratchet folded his arms and looked into the distance.

'He started going on that 'I was the last one seen with his brother' and that 'he wanted to know everything I knew or else he'll rip my head off' and I'll admit I was scared of him at the time! I never seen his so mad! Sadly I soon learnt the truth. That so called noble was actually a member of an underground illegal gladiator group, who held a grudge against the Enforcers. The previous Supreme Commander had been giving them trouble and they wanted to send a message to the new one. I thought it was sick that the mech Optimus thought he was in love with was actually using him to get back at his brother!'

Hearing this awful truth almost made Jazz fall over with shock! Optimus had been...abducted? Kidnapped in the name of revenge? But that wasn't even the worse part! The fact that the noble had 'pretended' to be interested in Optimus was just...awful!

'I was ordered not to tell anyone! They wanted to keep the whole thing a secret in fear that the population of Cybertron might freak out! How could I? I was worried sick! I even went on walks around the lower districts to see if I could find him! Everyone who knew was scared out of their CPU's that the worst may happen, including me! Ultra Magnus...was walking wreak! In public he had a hard keeping his cool and he ordered his Enforcers to search day and night! Some of us had even given up hope.'

The mood in the med bay, which was normally bright, was now very dark.

'Then one day I got a private comm. It was from Optimus. He sounded weak and tired and he asked if I could come and get him. I informed Ultra Magnus and we both speed off to the location. We found him on the outskirts of the city in a construction site and he was in a mess. Gashes across his chassis, a few of his fingers were missing...I'm not going through all the details kid but what they did to him was awful! We were surprised he could walk! We managed to get him back without anyone noticing and me and a few other medics were charged to patch him up! We were all relieved and thanked Primus that Optimus was safe!'

Ratchet then stood up and stretched his legs.

'Of course we fixed him physically but mentally...I still think he's damaged. However he started to act like the whole thing never happened! The moment he walked out of that med bay he was acting like he normally did. The only change he went through was throwing out all those gifts and notes. Other than that he never really talked to anyone what happened during his capture. He gave some small details to his brother but not the whole story. We, his close friends, decided to pretend that nothing had happened too; we just wanted his life to get back on track. Ultra Magnus of course suddenly became overly protective of him and if anyone dared came near him, they had to go through him first!'

The story was drawing to end but it still felt like it was going to go on and on.

'Time passed and Optimus started to develop a rebellious attitude. He would disobey his brother just to get him angry for his own amusement and miss meetings on purpose because they bored him. He even got violent! Like that time he almost threw the Alpha off the tower? I was there! He looked like he was going berserk! Ironhide was called in to train him in self defence and he got good at it. In fact he convinced ol' Ironhide to teach him offensive tactics! We even attempted to talk to him about the whole incident one day but he just changed the subject completely! It was like he had forgotten it completely!'

Ratchet stopped walking about and looked over to Jazz.

'And that's pretty much it. We were all shocked when it was declared he was the next Prime and Ultra Magnus got even more concerned about his safety and we all concerned how it would affect him! So far he's remained calm and in charge but...I still keep my optics on him...I'm...sorry that you had to find out but I guess you were bound to learn of it eventually.'

The medic looked over at Jazz and found that the poor young thing looked like he was about to cry. He walked over and placed a gentle hand on his helm, stroking him in a soothing way.

'I know it hurts...but it's good, it means that I know you really do care for him.'

As he comforted the young Gamma, Jazz could only dwell on what he had just heard.

Optimus...he had only known him for a while and in that short time he found that he now loved him. He loved him so much it hurt. He had never met such a good and kind mech who would take the time out of his life to care for him! To hear that this terrible thing had happened to him in the past...to think that someone he feel in love with betrayed him in such an awful way. To be used in the name of revenge! To be taken advantaged off just because he was related to an important figure! It was just...awful!

And he never spoke about it to anyone! He just kept it bottled up inside and refused to speak with anyone about it. Why? Was he afraid? Afraid how others would react? Was he still suffering because of it? Was he still hurting inside?

'It's OK...just promise me you won't tell anyone? OK? The last thing we all need is Ultra Magnus going on the warpath!'

Ratchet had meant it in a joking manner, wanting to put Jazz back in a calming mood, but Jazz only felt pain and hurt inside. All he could see in his mind was Optimus's kind face smiling down at him, the face of the mech he truly cared for. To think that his face was one filled pain and sorrow due to betrayal...was too painful to imagine.

A loose tear trailed down his face...the pain that Optimus must of gone through...he could almost feel it. His only wish was to know that the Prime that he loved to the point that it hurt was happy and at peace.