HOME | DD
pwned-by-twilight — NetworkJail 2: Back to Reality
Published: 2010-06-02 07:18:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 838; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 11
Redirect to original
Description
And thats all he wrote.Copyrights:
Network Jail location and characters belong to .
Veiss Ashweites belongs to me.
Related content
Comments: 14
Haaahgh where to start.
It's an incredibly short audition, and I had trouble figuring out what was going on the first time around, but with a second read-through I've got a better picture. Your panelling and speech bubbles are good though, legible and clear. The thing that bothers me most though is how little there is to this. It's a good idea and such, but so little takes place it's difficult to judge Veiss' character or what he's been through. Of course, that might help showing just how much of his memory he lost.
In short, I think you would've done better to explore the story a bit more. A good audition doesn't necissarily have to be long and drawn-out, but it would be better if it was clearer what happened.
D: I don't mean to be harsh, just saying it how I see it. Remember, I'm just one person. One opinion. I can't get into the judge's heads; I'm just thinking how I would think if I WERE a judge.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
... I'm still doing it
For some reason I never add enough substance, and it shows. I was planning on adding a 3rd page, but it was just going to be a large one-panel with Veiss declaring his acceptance to join in a dynamic pose with The Crypt Keeper floating in the background saying "Ohhh, so manly XD"... I looked my entry over last night and I rethought that I should have elongated the flashback. Before, I thought giving into a killer robot that's able to break through walls would be an obvious conclusion to it, but it's too vague... I think I hold back too much for the sake of having something to tell in later entries if I get into an OCT, but it never works out. (planned on him regaining memories throughout the tourney, making it more juicy to tune into.)
I always make sure to make my text legible though, so that at least the story is heard, since I have no confidence in my art XP I sort of thought my last OCT entry attempt came out better (art-wise, and just slightly), but this one I put more thought into. Ended up dropping a couple things though since I thought the deadline was on Tuesday...
I fail.
But thank you for being blunt ^^ I like criticism because it helps me improve. So, from a scale of 1 to 10, what would you give the entire thing?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Some of the best advice I've heard when it comes to OCTs: Go out with a bang. Suspense and plot are all good, but it's better if your entry is interesting and dynamic. Sometimes things don't even have to make sense as long as what you're doing is interesting and keeps the flow going. (For example, Guntram was unarmed and unprotected and managed to survive a huge explosion. No one questioned this because I just kept going with the story).
Regaining his memory throughout the tourney is a really good idea, I like it. Seems like a smart thing to do.
Hmm well, that's why it's always best to get things done waaaay ahead of time; that way you have time to go back and edit. My audition was sketched up and could've been submitted close to two months before I actually finished, but I spent those two months not just shading and finalizing but also editing and adding things. The more drafts you go through, the better a story comes out.
I'm good at being blunt and honest, I just worry about hurting feelings, because I know how horribly I take critique.
Scale? Uhhm about a 4 I think. It's a decent audition but as I said before, not much going on. Just shows what it has to show.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
... Damn, then I really should have made that last page XP Oh well...
I actually started working on my entry a month ago, and even wanted to upload my work last week, but I never had time to go get my work scanned. My scanner isn't usable at the moment, so I've just been using the scanner at my old school. Sadly though, my old teacher that works it leaves at noon, and I'm no morning person ^^' It was just laying around for some time while life stuff was happening. Then on Monday I was able to get there before he left. Thought it was due that night though, so I worked late making up on cleanup, bubbles and text time. Then when I found out yesterday it wasn't due then I had time to edit everything better, but not add that last page. Seriously, if this was a 4, then it would have been a 2-3 before XD
Trust me though, if I get in, things will definitely be amped up. I've been practicing ever since last year on fight scenes and story plot. (need work on flashback concepts though...)
Also, I'm a really understanding person, so I'm never offended of others opinions of my work ^^ It's all for the betterment of the future.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Best of luck on getting in; it'd be nice to see you working full-throttle.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yes. I hope to break my curse this time.
Y'know, ever since the first OCT I was ever in was canceled I haven't been able to make it into another XP
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Awww D: that really sucks.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Meh, well I've been up against some stiff competition in plenty of the OCT's I tried out for (A.K.A. Zeurel, AshleyLange, good artists in general). Made some cool OCT goer friends along the way though ^^ One is even trying out for Hotel Haven OCT along with me later this month
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hotel Haven? What's that all about?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
, another OCT I'm auditioning for later this month. They'll start accepting audition mid June, so I'll be ahead of the curb this time
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hmhrmrhrrmhm. I think maybe if something goes wrong with NJ, or if I have enough time, I might check that one out more when the audition guidelines are out.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I always try and have more than one OCT on tabs now-a-days. So far, the premise is sound, and I have my game-plan all set. I'll be entering two new characters of mine as a tag team ^^ But I doubt you'll have any worries getting into NJ, being one of the top feared competitor
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
