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Description
Tired of getting splatted by that dynamo roller guy?
Having trouble using those weak arms to swing that slosher?
Don't have the endurance to keep up with your team?

Then enroll in Messony's training program!

This 16-week program will make those noodle arms of yours swole, make you top the turf war charts, and help you get revenge on that annoying charger person that's taking pot shots at you from across the map!

Disclaimer: Your results may vary. Messony is not responsible for excruciating pain, torn muscles, psychological trauma, depression, suicidal thoughts, hernias, loss of limbs or life, liquid bowel movements, sudden or dramatic weight loss or gain, loss of appetite, loss of freshness, post-traumatic stress disorder, Turf War shell shock, Moray Towers being selected as one of the two maps for Turf War, lowering of life expectancy, unexpected pregnancy, the development of cravings for peanut butter, and many others. Please read the 5,660 page terms of service for more details.

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Just Messony giving an inkling some training to get him all buff for the next Splatfest!

He's not even done with 10 push-ups...how will he do 1,000?

Art by the awesome seriously commission this guy.

Description
Tired of getting splatted by that dynamo roller guy?
Having trouble using those weak arms to swing that slosher?
Don't have the endurance to keep up with your team?

Then enroll in Messony's training program!

This 16-week program will make those noodle arms of yours swole, make you top the turf war charts, and help you get revenge on that annoying charger person that's taking pot shots at you from across the map!

Disclaimer: Your results may vary. Messony is not responsible for excruciating pain, torn muscles, psychological trauma, depression, suicidal thoughts, hernias, loss of limbs or life, liquid bowel movements, sudden or dramatic weight loss or gain, loss of appetite, loss of freshness, post-traumatic stress disorder, Turf War shell shock, Moray Towers being selected as one of the two maps for Turf War, lowering of life expectancy, unexpected pregnancy, the development of cravings for peanut butter, and many others. Please read the 5,660 page terms of service for more details.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just Messony giving an inkling some training to get him all buff for the next Splatfest!

He's not even done with 10 push-ups...how will he do 1,000?

Art by the awesome seriously commission this guy.