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qahthrrynne — Perfection
Published: 2005-11-25 00:56:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 167; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 4
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Description They say he's like a model
With his muscled, toned physique;
With his perfect snow-white teeth
That shine pity on the meek.

They say he is a hero,
Out upon the football field,
He's the best of all the best,
And they say he'll never yield.

They say he knows no hardship,
But when safe from prying eyes
This model of supremacy
Puts head in hands and cries.

They say that he has everything
But in his heart he sees,
His world is built on bluffs and lies
Which crumble by degrees.

They say he is perfection,
But little do they know,
He'd give up almost anything
To make it not be so.
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Comments: 11

Nitsua-Foosa22 [2011-06-29 01:06:23 +0000 UTC]

so cool. i tried it as a song and IT WORKED. sounds good on both acoustic and electric. if you want, i can turn it into a song and link you to it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

kagami-gakure [2005-11-26 16:17:25 +0000 UTC]

Very good, Qahtte. I can never write poetry... maybe I'll try someday. But not today. Tomorrow is a sunday, and sundays have no friends. And DEFINITELY not monday. Or tuesday. Or... bloodly HELL the calendar is out to get me!

Anyhow, nice work. Very good. I less than three the last stanza.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

qahthrrynne In reply to kagami-gakure [2005-11-26 23:17:19 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! Fridays are always good though... Do you really less than three the last stanza, or are you just saying that to make me think all the people who read my poetry are forming a huge conspiracy to obsess over the last paragraph of that poem? Cuz EVERYONE'S said that.

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mrsfrankenstien [2005-11-26 01:06:57 +0000 UTC]

I also have much love for that last paragraph. But I loved it first, they're all jumping on the bandwagon.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

qahthrrynne In reply to mrsfrankenstien [2005-11-26 03:35:55 +0000 UTC]

Of course you did, dear. Actually, I think ASH loved it first. But she'd dead, so I guess it's you now.

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Travveh [2005-11-25 21:48:15 +0000 UTC]

...Wow... That's beautiful... Reminds me of what my parents expect, though not quite to that degree.... -stabs parents- They're disaoppointed because I got a 72 in science. -rolls eyes-

Anyway, I simply adore the last paragraph.
<3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

qahthrrynne In reply to Travveh [2005-11-25 22:06:09 +0000 UTC]

Wow. That's really interesting. EVERYONE seems to love the last paragraph a lot. Thanks so much :hugs: Yeah. Parents can be a bitch, I know what you mean.

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xdeathbunnyx [2005-11-25 19:46:45 +0000 UTC]

Awesome! ^-^ You're such a good poet, you really have a way with words.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

qahthrrynne In reply to xdeathbunnyx [2005-11-25 22:07:33 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much!!

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spazannah [2005-11-25 02:37:09 +0000 UTC]

Thats so sad!!! Really well written, the last paragraph is great!

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qahthrrynne In reply to spazannah [2005-11-25 03:45:56 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much. Yeah, the last paragraph is my favourite too.

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