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qahthrrynne — Snurfy and...
Published: 2006-11-26 15:40:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 259; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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*READ ARTIST NOTES/DESCRIPTION FIRST PLZKTHX*One day Snurfy was walking down the street. Suddenly, in front of her, she saw an emo boy. “My,” she thought to herself. “That is quite an attractive emo boy.”
“Hello,” said the emo boy.
“Hello,” said Snurfy. “Who are you?”
“I am the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power,” said the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power.
“Oh,” said Snurfy. “Neat. I’m Snurfy.” So then, they stood, facing each other. “Well, this is awkward,” she commented.
“Enough talk!” cried the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power. “Let us away to my secret lair! Come, I shall ravish you, and write you beautiful, angstful poetry!”
“Well, that does sound tempting,” said Snurfy. “But I happen to have a boyfriend. And he might not be so happy about it.”
The Emo Boy scowled. “Foolish girl. He can come too! I am an EMO boy!” The Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power gestured grandly. With a poof, Snurfy’s boyfriend appeared.
“Travveh!” Snurfy exclaimed. “You are pretty powerful, Emo Boy!”
“What the fuck is going on?” asked Travveh.
“I am the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power!” declared the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power. “And you and your girlfriend shall now come to my lair, to be ravished and to listen to my beautiful, angstful peotry.”
“... You are aware that I am straight, aren’t you?” asked Travveh.
“That’s what you think!” exclaimed the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power. “See if you can resist my Ultimate Sex!” He posed. Travveh and Snurfy could not resist his Ultimate Sex. They followed him to his lair.
* * * * *
“This is your parents’ basement,” said Snurfy.
The Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power glared at Snurfy. “It doubles as my secret lair!” he said huffily. “Who would misunderstand me if I moved out?” When it became apparent that neither Snurfy nor Travveh had a response to this, he walked haughtily towards the desk in the darkest corner of the room, and picked up a piece of paper. “I shall now read to you my masterpiece of beautiful, angstful poetry!” he announced.
- THREE HOURS LATER -
“... And so, my heart shall bleed, forever more, for you,” the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power said dramatically. He posed. Then he turned to Snurfy and Travveh. “Well,” he asked, “What did you think?”
“This is odd...” Snurfy thought to herself. “I want to tell him it was awful, and smack him, but the Ultimate Power of his angstful writing has paralysed me on the spot!”
“Ahah!” cried the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power triumphantly. “I see the Ultimate Power of my angstful writing has paralyzed you on the spot! I shall now ravish you both!”
“Oh no!” Travveh and Snurfy thought. “Anything but that!” But as the emo boy yet again posed dramatically, the power of his Ultimate Sex began to overwhelm their ability for rational thought. “Maybe it won’t be so bad after all...” they thought to themselves.
Just then, the door at the top of the stairs flew open, letting a piercing ray of light into the black basement. “Mom! Dad! I TOLD you not to come down to my lair! You’ll ruin my creative energy! Argh, you don’t UNDERSTAND me! I HATE you!” the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power cried.
“I am not your mother! Nor am I your father!” came the voice from the top of the stairs. “I have come to put a stop to your evil seduction!” In one hand, the figure brandished a portable CD player. With the other, it dramatically pressed the play button.
“Ooga chacka ooga chacka ooga chacka...” came the pounding rhythm.
“No!” cried the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power. “Anything but that! You’re ruining the moment! FOREVER!”
“Hah! You are defeated!” came the triumphant shout from the top of the stairs. The figure reached out, and flicked a switch.
The light came on. The Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power screamed.
“Qahtte!” called Snurfy in amazement, as the light broke the paralysis placed on her by the Emo Boy’s angstful poetry. “What are you doing here?”
“Rescuing you!” replied Qahtte (for that was who it was). “What do you think? Come on, let’s get out of here!”
“Ahah! But I am not as weakened as you thought!” shouted the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power triumphantly. Grabbing a still somewhat paralysed Travveh by the arm, he ran to a previously unnoticed door at the other end of the basement.
“He’s getting away!” cried Qahtte. “After him!” Qahtte and Snurfy ran out the front door, just in time to see the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power drive away in his parent’s station wagon, with Travveh in the back seat.
“Well, Qahtte,” said Snurfy, “I appreciate you rescuing me, but you seem to have lost my boyfriend to the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power.
“I realized that,” said Qahtte. “And I do apologize. It was an accident.”
There was a pause, as both considered their current situation.
“So...” said Qahtte, finally. "You want to go shopping?"
Snurfy shrugged. “Why not?” she replied.
“Awesome!” said Qahtte. “Let’s go! You know, I saw this really nice dress in Borderline...”
And so, they wandered off into the sunset, Qahtte not legally being able to drive anything yet.
- THE END -
Comments: 20
Thank you! 
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FREAKING. LOL.
LYK OMG, LAWL.
If I ever get stolen away by a powerful and sexy emo boy, don't save me. :3
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83 WOMG
... womg? That's a new wone. ONE. OH GOD.
I love your for this. You should have attacked the emo boy with anti-emo hairspray-and-bleach spray, that will turn his pritty hairs into NON-EMO pritty hairs. Also, chase him with a razor. They do not like razors near their faces. Hell, chase him with WHITE THINGS. WITH HEARTS. AND DEIRDRE PLASTERED ALL OVER THEM. The sheer cuteness and luff will overwhelm him. And Travveh need not be lustfully ravished by the Emo Boy of Ultimate Sex and Power. But then again, if he's Ultimate, doesn't that mean that there is no resisting the temptation of him at ALL? Wow! Good thing you came with the most ANNOYING SONG OF ALL TIME THAT WAS DREDGED UP BY BEELZEBUB FROM THE BLACK, SLIMY PITS OF OBLIVION. As sung by some really, stereotypically black guy I do not care for.
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... I could've done any number of things to chase the emo boy away. But I figured Ooga Chacka would be the funniest... Glad you liked it!
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How could I NOT?
lolol Ancient Civs today... Ben was doing... something, and I was like "BEN, DON'T GET RAVISHED MERCILESSLY BY THE EMO BOY OF ULTIMATE SEX AND POWER!!!" and he's like "... uh... what?" Good times in Butler's class. Also, Mr. Butler doesn't believe in vegetables. I'm serious. He IGNORES them. I was going to buy pizza, and he said there was a lot of pepperoni pizza. Yes, it had pepperoni on, as well as EVERY OTHER VEGETABLE IN EXISTENCE. Even those that sort of look like pink artichokes and hand grenades. The point is, is that he doesn't think vegetables exist. Crazy man.
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*DIES OF LAUGHTER*
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OH GOD LOL.
Love the ending....shopping is the answer to everything.
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Thank you! And yeah, it is. It TOTALLY is.
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Haha, that was really funny. I totally dig the "ooga chacka".
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Thank you! Yeah, I figured it would work since ooga chacka ruins the moment. Always.
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As I said to Jonny below: I figured it would, because Ooga Chacka ruins the moment. Always.
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Oh my god... That was soo awesome. I laughed my ass off. So much that chat speak wouldn't do it justice. Ohmygod.
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I <3 you forever. ^^ LOVE!! ^u^ Hilary always comes to save the day. And hooray for shopping XD But I'll never think of emo boys the same way again... o.o;
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Oh peas, I hope he doesn't get Possum XD
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