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“Ay yo Egbert, wassup?”

“Oh, hey _____! Nice seeing you today.”

“Alright, listen up nerd. We gotta bake some goddamn cake.”

"Why?"

"Because...cake!"

“Woah, woah, before we do anything...it’s not Betty Crocker, right?”

“Of course not. I know how you have some kind of crippling childhood fear of her or whatever. Wouldn’t want you going all comatose in the middle of our flour fest here.”

“...Flour fest?”

You sighed. “Cake baking time.”

“Oh. Yeah, see, that makes more sense. Well, might as well start this.” John started pulling the eggs, water, and oil out of the fridge and pantry while you opened the bag inside of the box. You inhaled the sweet scent of the mix, only to have some go up your nose and make you sneeze. It was quite exaggerated, because, well, you were that kind of person. And goddamn did that stuff have a way of getting into your nose.

“Woah, you okay there?” John asked, trying to suppress laughter.

“Shut up, asshole. That fucking cake mix is out to get me.”

“Well, there should be a brave, valiant, smoking-fucking-hot knight to protect you, then.”

“Oh, hang on, I’ll just call Dave-”

“No! I mean...like...”

“Dave...?”

“Me!”

If you had been drinking anything, this would have been a spittake moment. However, your mouth was currently void of liquid, so you decided to sputter like an idiot.

Smooth as fuck.

“O-oh. OhmygodJohnwhatthefuck. What? No. No way. Nowaynowaynowaynowaynowa-”

It was probably a good thing John had kissed you then, because you were not having the best of times forming a coherent sentence. Once he pulled away, he looked you lovingly in the eyes and-

-Got right back to baking.

“Oh. Oh, Egbert, you are going down.”

“Well, we have to finish the cake first.”