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You were on devaintART reading fanfiction (like this one right now ;DDD) until Eridan came to bother you.

"Nyeh." He said.

"What do you need Eridan?" You didn't take your eyes off of your laptop.

"____, do you think I should shavve?"

"Da fuq? Why are you asking me this?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I havve hair."

You glanced away from your computer and saw Eridan next to you and he looked normal like always. Except he was wearing a speedo.

"ERIDAN WHAT THE FUCK?!!! ARE YOU TRYING TO CONFESS TO FEFERI AGAIN?!" You covered your eyes from that horrid scene that was making the skin of your eyeballs peel.

"No." He said.

"Then why are you dressed like that?" You asked.

"Because it's March?" It was more like a question than an answer.

"It's September." You said.

"Nyeh. It is noww."

"ERIDAN!!!!! WHERE THE FUCK IS MY RAZOR???!!!!" Karkat yelled from the distance.

"Uhhh..." Eridan said.

You facepalmed.

Karkat came out of the bathroom with a towel on and his face was covered in shaving cream. You covered your face again.

"ERIDAN, WHERE IS IT?!"

Eridan took his razor out of his speedo and gave it Karkat.

"DA FUQ?!" Karkat took the razor and went back in the bathroom.

"Eridan. Why. Just. Why." You said.

"Because." He said.

"GAAAHHHHH." You said.

((AN: I know it's crappy and boring, but I'm going to make this longer and stuff so it wouldn't be short like the previous ones))

~Timeskip brought to you by Eridan Ampora~

You were taking a shower (naked o.o) while humming (Insert Favorite Song). You were singing pure awesomeness until Eridan had to step in and ruin it.

"ERIDAN, DA FUQ??!!!!!!" You blushed covering yourself.

"May I join?"

"Wut?! No!"

"Nyeh. I take that as a yes then." He stepped the shower doing whatever the fuck he was doing. You blushed at a smexy Eridan shirtless and you didn't even dare to look down South (if you know what I mean *eyebrow wiggle*).

"How the hell am I supposed to take a shower with you?! I could get pregnant!" You said.

"Do you want to be?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Wut?! No!" You blushed and covered your face.

'Dammit.' Eridan thought.

The two of you finished washing up in peace (finally) and you quickly grabbed your towel and absconded the fuck out of the bathroom.

"Da Fuq?" Dave said.

~Next Mornin'~

Everyone including you was eating breakfast at the table until Eridan stood up on the table in a speedo (again). "_____, may I talk to you in you knoww, privvates?"

"Fuck thiith, II'm out." Sollux threw his spoon randomly where it will never be seen again and left. That was when everybody cleared in the blink of an eye.

"What do you want?" You asked.

"Hi." He said.

"Is that it? Or are you going to sneak in the shower with me again?!" You asked.

"No." He said.

You fixed your posture in your chair and looked at him straight in the eye. "Then what do you want?" You asked.

"You" He said.

"Naked."

You had your best scarred for life face on.