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Description
The grass is tickling my bare arms as I lie on the ground. The sun is high in the sky warming my face. With my eyes closed all I see is red and feel is warmth. My senses are filled with relaxing feelings. The scent of grass, flowers and fields as well as the sea far away. I can hear the lulling sea far away from my napping place. I can hear birds singing and the bees buzzing. It’s wonderful. I had come here hours ago and just thrown myself down on the ground. My tears have long since dried and now instead of sobs there’s heavy breathing. Finally I’ve found peace. I’m happy to die now. All I’d have to do is stop breathing. It would be so easy to just slip away. Far, far away.
Suddenly I hear the shifting of grass and footsteps approaching but I do not tense. I have no reason to worry. The sound comes to an end somewhere by my thigh. Not a sound is heard for a moment.
”Jane told you I was here didn’t she?” When no answer is to be heard I open my eyes only to be blinded. I flinch and quickly bring a hand to my face to cover my eyes. The person who has come to pay me a visit shifts and I can feel more then hear him sitting down next to me. “Yes. She was worried.” His voice is dark and impassive, no hint of his emotions as usual. “Well that’s just to bad. Now that you know I’m alive and kicking,” At this I kick my feet up in the air before I let them fall to the ground with a heavy thud ”you should go tell Jane that I’m fine to ease her worries.”
”I was worried as well.” I slowly bring down my hand from my face to help my eyes adjust to the light. I look up him to notice the small frown seated on his forehead. “Well that’s a first!” I exclaim and sit up to glare at him. How dare he do whatever he’s doing to me? It’s not fair. “Not really… I’m often worried about you. I just prefer not to show it since it won’t help.” I take a deep breath and cross my arms. I stare at the ground with a huff. “Do you think I’m going to kill myself?” “I wouldn’t forgive you if you did.” “That’s not what I asked!” “But that’s my answer.” I punch him on the shoulder then lie back down and put my hands behind me head. I feel him shift a bit but that’s about it. “I hate you. I hate you so much.” I can feel a heavy lump in my throat and I try to push it back. “I know.”

Silence and time passes by, with me to angry to say anything and him in deep thought. After a while I open my eyes to look at him. His hair is a wild mess on top of his thick head. He’s wearing a simple black shirt with bare arms that gives me a nice view of his biceps. I can’t help it but let my eyes linger there for a while before I continue. He’s leaning forwards with his legs crossed and elbows on top of his knees. Doesn’t look very comfy if you ask me, but who am I to question. With simple black pants to go with his shirt there’s not much to say about him. Except that he’s damn hot. I slowly reach out my hand to touch his shoulder. He tenses up for a few seconds then relaxes again. I study my hand against his bare shoulder. My skin is a lot lighter then his. It’s to be expected but it’s still nice to look at. I let my hand slide down a bit until it’s resting on the inside of his elbow.
That’s when he turns his head to look at me. His dark chocolate eyes are the most beautiful orbs I’ve ever seen. He’s got big full lips and a questioning look on his face. I grab his shirt to slowly pull him down into a kiss. It’s soft and sweet to begin with, just him and me pressed together. Then he repositions himself so that he’s leaning on his elbow and deepens the kiss. His tongue reaches into my mouth and my whole world floats away, like a boat on the sea. It’s tingling in my stomach like a mixer filled with butterflies around where I would imagine my uterus being. He smells so nice; better then the grass, the flowers and the sea together. There’s no way to describe it. He’s the strongest drug I could ever imagine. But all good things come to an end and we pull apart. We lie next to each other breathing for a while. Then I just can’t take it anymore.

“Why did you come here?” He opens his eyes and looks upon me as if trying to figure out the best way to explain it to me. After a moment he changes the subject. “Why did you run out?” He never answers my questions so I guess I should be used to it by now… but I’m not. “Because I had to get out of there! Because people were talking behind my back about how stupid I am and how I mess up everything that I try to do. You will never understand since you’re always so strong but I can hear what they say about me and I care! I care what people think because I want to belong somewhere. I don’t want to stick out. I want to be normal and fit in perfectly, but in the end I just lose all of the people I care about! I try I really do! I try so hard. I will never make it! I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done to people I love but I can’t stop. I’m not strong enough anymore!”
I just keep on ranting without listening to myself and he just looks at me all through my hysterical rant. He looks at me like I’m the most pathetic thing in the world. That’s when I become silent and look away. I can’t look him in the eye. I’m not strong enough to face the force of his eyes. I turn and look around the area I arrived at many hours ago. It’s an almost empty field with a few trees standing in random places. It’s very open and far away you can see the green field transforming into the deep blue sea. It’s so beautiful and one day maybe I’ll take a boat and just row out as far as I can go.
”You’re not worth it anymore.”
This statement brings me out of my daydreams and I stare at him in shock. “What do you mean?” He stands up and gives me a look that tells me just how he cares about me. Then he walks away without another word. I watch him go, to crushed to do anything. I thought he loved me. I thought he’d always be there for me. I thought we meant enough to each other that we could accept each other’s rants and faults. I guess I was wrong. The lump in my throat returns in full force and even the sun can’t dry my tears. For hours I just sit there and let all my sorrows pour out of me. Then I look at the apple tree standing not so far away from me. The snare I hung up there when I got here so long ago is still hanging there. It looks so pure and inviting. Like it will rid me of all my troubles. I stand up with my eyes locked on the noose. For a moment I just stare at it and I finally come to a decision. I turn and I run. I run as fast as my legs can carry me I run until I can’t run anymore. I’ve reached the shore. I look around and see a small rowing boat. I push it into the sea, take the rows and I row. I row and I row. Until I can’t be seen anymore.

Description
The grass is tickling my bare arms as I lie on the ground. The sun is high in the sky warming my face. With my eyes closed all I see is red and feel is warmth. My senses are filled with relaxing feelings. The scent of grass, flowers and fields as well as the sea far away. I can hear the lulling sea far away from my napping place. I can hear birds singing and the bees buzzing. It’s wonderful. I had come here hours ago and just thrown myself down on the ground. My tears have long since dried and now instead of sobs there’s heavy breathing. Finally I’ve found peace. I’m happy to die now. All I’d have to do is stop breathing. It would be so easy to just slip away. Far, far away.
Suddenly I hear the shifting of grass and footsteps approaching but I do not tense. I have no reason to worry. The sound comes to an end somewhere by my thigh. Not a sound is heard for a moment.
”Jane told you I was here didn’t she?” When no answer is to be heard I open my eyes only to be blinded. I flinch and quickly bring a hand to my face to cover my eyes. The person who has come to pay me a visit shifts and I can feel more then hear him sitting down next to me. “Yes. She was worried.” His voice is dark and impassive, no hint of his emotions as usual. “Well that’s just to bad. Now that you know I’m alive and kicking,” At this I kick my feet up in the air before I let them fall to the ground with a heavy thud ”you should go tell Jane that I’m fine to ease her worries.”
”I was worried as well.” I slowly bring down my hand from my face to help my eyes adjust to the light. I look up him to notice the small frown seated on his forehead. “Well that’s a first!” I exclaim and sit up to glare at him. How dare he do whatever he’s doing to me? It’s not fair. “Not really… I’m often worried about you. I just prefer not to show it since it won’t help.” I take a deep breath and cross my arms. I stare at the ground with a huff. “Do you think I’m going to kill myself?” “I wouldn’t forgive you if you did.” “That’s not what I asked!” “But that’s my answer.” I punch him on the shoulder then lie back down and put my hands behind me head. I feel him shift a bit but that’s about it. “I hate you. I hate you so much.” I can feel a heavy lump in my throat and I try to push it back. “I know.”

Silence and time passes by, with me to angry to say anything and him in deep thought. After a while I open my eyes to look at him. His hair is a wild mess on top of his thick head. He’s wearing a simple black shirt with bare arms that gives me a nice view of his biceps. I can’t help it but let my eyes linger there for a while before I continue. He’s leaning forwards with his legs crossed and elbows on top of his knees. Doesn’t look very comfy if you ask me, but who am I to question. With simple black pants to go with his shirt there’s not much to say about him. Except that he’s damn hot. I slowly reach out my hand to touch his shoulder. He tenses up for a few seconds then relaxes again. I study my hand against his bare shoulder. My skin is a lot lighter then his. It’s to be expected but it’s still nice to look at. I let my hand slide down a bit until it’s resting on the inside of his elbow.
That’s when he turns his head to look at me. His dark chocolate eyes are the most beautiful orbs I’ve ever seen. He’s got big full lips and a questioning look on his face. I grab his shirt to slowly pull him down into a kiss. It’s soft and sweet to begin with, just him and me pressed together. Then he repositions himself so that he’s leaning on his elbow and deepens the kiss. His tongue reaches into my mouth and my whole world floats away, like a boat on the sea. It’s tingling in my stomach like a mixer filled with butterflies around where I would imagine my uterus being. He smells so nice; better then the grass, the flowers and the sea together. There’s no way to describe it. He’s the strongest drug I could ever imagine. But all good things come to an end and we pull apart. We lie next to each other breathing for a while. Then I just can’t take it anymore.

“Why did you come here?” He opens his eyes and looks upon me as if trying to figure out the best way to explain it to me. After a moment he changes the subject. “Why did you run out?” He never answers my questions so I guess I should be used to it by now… but I’m not. “Because I had to get out of there! Because people were talking behind my back about how stupid I am and how I mess up everything that I try to do. You will never understand since you’re always so strong but I can hear what they say about me and I care! I care what people think because I want to belong somewhere. I don’t want to stick out. I want to be normal and fit in perfectly, but in the end I just lose all of the people I care about! I try I really do! I try so hard. I will never make it! I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done to people I love but I can’t stop. I’m not strong enough anymore!”
I just keep on ranting without listening to myself and he just looks at me all through my hysterical rant. He looks at me like I’m the most pathetic thing in the world. That’s when I become silent and look away. I can’t look him in the eye. I’m not strong enough to face the force of his eyes. I turn and look around the area I arrived at many hours ago. It’s an almost empty field with a few trees standing in random places. It’s very open and far away you can see the green field transforming into the deep blue sea. It’s so beautiful and one day maybe I’ll take a boat and just row out as far as I can go.
”You’re not worth it anymore.”
This statement brings me out of my daydreams and I stare at him in shock. “What do you mean?” He stands up and gives me a look that tells me just how he cares about me. Then he walks away without another word. I watch him go, to crushed to do anything. I thought he loved me. I thought he’d always be there for me. I thought we meant enough to each other that we could accept each other’s rants and faults. I guess I was wrong. The lump in my throat returns in full force and even the sun can’t dry my tears. For hours I just sit there and let all my sorrows pour out of me. Then I look at the apple tree standing not so far away from me. The snare I hung up there when I got here so long ago is still hanging there. It looks so pure and inviting. Like it will rid me of all my troubles. I stand up with my eyes locked on the noose. For a moment I just stare at it and I finally come to a decision. I turn and I run. I run as fast as my legs can carry me I run until I can’t run anymore. I’ve reached the shore. I look around and see a small rowing boat. I push it into the sea, take the rows and I row. I row and I row. Until I can’t be seen anymore.