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Description
Together, always. We waited for the moment… You had a talent, I swear you did. Keeping me stable, that is… Distracting me by any means possible, delving into our imagination, creating childish stories. Thinking back would make me laugh, if it didn't cause so much pain. Our fingers intertwined, knotted together. Unbreakable. Your soft, hot breath whispering comfort throughout my body. We held each other, tight, oblivious to everything that wasn't me, you… Us. I cared for nothing but you. We played fools, pretending it wasn't real, imaginary games. Laughter… My laughter. We laughed together, your loud, menacing bark echoes in my head…

Nostalgia stings.

I shared everything with you. Late night feasts, Cauldron Cakes, our favourite, right? Memories, though you promised not to laugh. Secrets, I could always trust you. I knew you... I think…? You would never tell, would you? I'm doubting our friendship, our nights together, kidding ourselves we'd gotten it wrong, taking precautions by staying out all night. I cannot comprehend why. Treachery wasn't your style.

I did know you. I'm certain of it. I still do. I do not believe it was you. I couldn't possibly bring myself to… Please prove them all wrong, make there be a way… Use your talented mind, spin a story.

'It will all be okay…' I'll repeat your words back to you. I could hold you, muttering words strung together, my aim to soothe. No time for recklessness, the laughter halts. Realisation, perhaps. You have no one to blame it on, not this time. No accomplice or alibi. I still kid myself, years on. You'll still prove them wrong. I explore abysmal, half-hearted theories, how it really happened, what mystery did occur that night. No one could avert my mind from it. You are still all I think about, even now. Is it obsession? Perhaps. Is it useless? I wouldn't be so sure. Though what would I know…? Not much. What could I do? Nothing. I never could, not even then.

The light through the cracks in the wooden exterior show the sky, beautiful, vivid orange and pink. It makes me think of romance. It forces me to think of us. I cherished our time spent here, though the dread silently spread through me. Scared, how I felt. Every month, you kept me stable. Both the best and worst moments of my life in the same nights, monthly. Always the same. No matter how dazzling the arrangement of blue.
Fading to pink.
To orange.
Then red.
Black always prevails… (Not in this case, I'm still awaiting your triumph, please do it soon. I can't stand the wait.) Much like my life, it seems that the most perfect, astounding moments are followed by disaster.

You kept me safe, but who keeps you safe now? You must be so scared. I am too… Do you think of me?

Romance… Did I say that? I suppose, like the whole female population of our year, at least, I did feel… Slightly would be an understatement. Hopelessly in love with you. You probably knew, you knew how to read me the moment our gazes met. I suppose you humoured me, you took pleasure doing that. I don't know why I bothered, you'd never return my feelings… I'm pathetic. The great, popular, notorious even, Sirius Black. With plain, awkward me. You said I was adorable, on many occasions. I would have liked to be taken seriously… I'm as mature as you are, probably more so… But I acted up to your image of me, relinquishing the attention I craved from you.

All a joke… Wasn't it? I regret not making it more clear. There was moments, I thought I could gather up the courage, (Gryffindor expected me to bring my own supply along. Me, brave? I don't think so.) To act on impulse, for once in my life… But the moment would never last long enough for me to go into action, without nerves pulling me back.

The sun would set, I would experience the same searing pain, for the thousandth time. You would be there, whilst I was still changing, you would hold my hand, cradle me, tell me it was all going to be over soon… You risked your life for me. You lost hours and hours of sleep every month, to console me… You kept me company when I wasn't even myself. My nails dig tight into my own shoulders, curled up on the floor, I embrace myself. My eyes tight shut, muttering your comforting words. You can't comfort me anymore. Not from where you are.

Do you think of me, what I'm going through? You're always on my mind. Even then… My whole body is shaking, no physical pain could possibly compare. But when you were there, I still relished every moment of it, as it was a moment of being close to you…

I wait for the moment, where the pain will cease, without you holding my hand.
I wait for the moment, when I can be of use to someone, I'll do anything, my life needs purpose. My being is insignificant. I'm helpless.
I wait for the moment, I'll stand up and make my lament for the dead. For Lily and James. For Francis The Fish, even. No one else is aware I am even thinking about you, but I know it's what you would be saying, if you were here.
I wait for the moment, you will return to me, your name cleared, grinning at me, telling me I've been an idiot for worrying…
I wait for the moment, I will finally show you how I truly feel about you…
I need to confess to you, everything. How many millions of moments this has been going on for… We could be together, always.

We could watch the sunset without making excuses of my, what James called, 'Furry Little Problem'. It could be romantic, between us. If that's how you would like it to be…? I apologize, I was never good at shocking revelations, unlike our ever-so dramatic friend.

'Come on, hurry up, Padfoot… I won't wait forever.'

I lied.

Description
Together, always. We waited for the moment… You had a talent, I swear you did. Keeping me stable, that is… Distracting me by any means possible, delving into our imagination, creating childish stories. Thinking back would make me laugh, if it didn't cause so much pain. Our fingers intertwined, knotted together. Unbreakable. Your soft, hot breath whispering comfort throughout my body. We held each other, tight, oblivious to everything that wasn't me, you… Us. I cared for nothing but you. We played fools, pretending it wasn't real, imaginary games. Laughter… My laughter. We laughed together, your loud, menacing bark echoes in my head…

Nostalgia stings.

I shared everything with you. Late night feasts, Cauldron Cakes, our favourite, right? Memories, though you promised not to laugh. Secrets, I could always trust you. I knew you... I think…? You would never tell, would you? I'm doubting our friendship, our nights together, kidding ourselves we'd gotten it wrong, taking precautions by staying out all night. I cannot comprehend why. Treachery wasn't your style.

I did know you. I'm certain of it. I still do. I do not believe it was you. I couldn't possibly bring myself to… Please prove them all wrong, make there be a way… Use your talented mind, spin a story.

'It will all be okay…' I'll repeat your words back to you. I could hold you, muttering words strung together, my aim to soothe. No time for recklessness, the laughter halts. Realisation, perhaps. You have no one to blame it on, not this time. No accomplice or alibi. I still kid myself, years on. You'll still prove them wrong. I explore abysmal, half-hearted theories, how it really happened, what mystery did occur that night. No one could avert my mind from it. You are still all I think about, even now. Is it obsession? Perhaps. Is it useless? I wouldn't be so sure. Though what would I know…? Not much. What could I do? Nothing. I never could, not even then.

The light through the cracks in the wooden exterior show the sky, beautiful, vivid orange and pink. It makes me think of romance. It forces me to think of us. I cherished our time spent here, though the dread silently spread through me. Scared, how I felt. Every month, you kept me stable. Both the best and worst moments of my life in the same nights, monthly. Always the same. No matter how dazzling the arrangement of blue.
Fading to pink.
To orange.
Then red.
Black always prevails… (Not in this case, I'm still awaiting your triumph, please do it soon. I can't stand the wait.) Much like my life, it seems that the most perfect, astounding moments are followed by disaster.

You kept me safe, but who keeps you safe now? You must be so scared. I am too… Do you think of me?

Romance… Did I say that? I suppose, like the whole female population of our year, at least, I did feel… Slightly would be an understatement. Hopelessly in love with you. You probably knew, you knew how to read me the moment our gazes met. I suppose you humoured me, you took pleasure doing that. I don't know why I bothered, you'd never return my feelings… I'm pathetic. The great, popular, notorious even, Sirius Black. With plain, awkward me. You said I was adorable, on many occasions. I would have liked to be taken seriously… I'm as mature as you are, probably more so… But I acted up to your image of me, relinquishing the attention I craved from you.

All a joke… Wasn't it? I regret not making it more clear. There was moments, I thought I could gather up the courage, (Gryffindor expected me to bring my own supply along. Me, brave? I don't think so.) To act on impulse, for once in my life… But the moment would never last long enough for me to go into action, without nerves pulling me back.

The sun would set, I would experience the same searing pain, for the thousandth time. You would be there, whilst I was still changing, you would hold my hand, cradle me, tell me it was all going to be over soon… You risked your life for me. You lost hours and hours of sleep every month, to console me… You kept me company when I wasn't even myself. My nails dig tight into my own shoulders, curled up on the floor, I embrace myself. My eyes tight shut, muttering your comforting words. You can't comfort me anymore. Not from where you are.

Do you think of me, what I'm going through? You're always on my mind. Even then… My whole body is shaking, no physical pain could possibly compare. But when you were there, I still relished every moment of it, as it was a moment of being close to you…

I wait for the moment, where the pain will cease, without you holding my hand.
I wait for the moment, when I can be of use to someone, I'll do anything, my life needs purpose. My being is insignificant. I'm helpless.
I wait for the moment, I'll stand up and make my lament for the dead. For Lily and James. For Francis The Fish, even. No one else is aware I am even thinking about you, but I know it's what you would be saying, if you were here.
I wait for the moment, you will return to me, your name cleared, grinning at me, telling me I've been an idiot for worrying…
I wait for the moment, I will finally show you how I truly feel about you…
I need to confess to you, everything. How many millions of moments this has been going on for… We could be together, always.

We could watch the sunset without making excuses of my, what James called, 'Furry Little Problem'. It could be romantic, between us. If that's how you would like it to be…? I apologize, I was never good at shocking revelations, unlike our ever-so dramatic friend.

'Come on, hurry up, Padfoot… I won't wait forever.'

I lied.