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Published: 2006-03-04 02:33:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 448; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 8
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Description
Remember that hole in the ground,The one we always used to walk around?
Yeah, you know, the one we couldn't see the bottom of.
Well, you've probably been wondering where I've been for so long...I fell in.
Just kinda casually fell in.
It wasn't altogether uncomfortable.
Actually, some parts were downright pleasant,
And as for the darker and lonelier spots,
Well, I fell through them soon enough.
My fall was slow enough so I didn't panic.
Hell, I wasn't even worried.
When I hit the bottom, it didn't hurt.
I wasn't scared.
Some of our friends tried to throw me lifelines, plead with me to climb out.
All I did was curl up in a ball and ignore them.
They hurled stones of anger, but they just bounced off my back.
They cried tears of frustration, but they just evaporated to nothing.
Eventually, they left me alone. It was what I wanted. I liked it in the hole.
The world seemed too bright, too big out of the hole.
I liked it so much, I dug myself deeper. I stayed that way a long, long time.
One day, I had the thought that if I kept digging, I might come out in China.
I looked up.
The top was so far away. It was just a pinhole.
And I realized, I'd been gone some time.
And I realized, I was lonely in that hole.
And I realized, I wanted to go back up.
And I realized, there was only me left to help myself now.
So I curled up again. I wasn't ready. I could help myself when I wanted.
I was comfortable.
But one day, I bolted. I knew if I didn't move, I'd just fade away in that hole.
It would be my grave.
I bolted upward, scrabbling up the dirt walls. I wanted out. I was scared.
Sometimes I slipped, fell back, hit the bottom, started over.
Sometimes I stopped, caught my breath, rested.
Then, one day, I made it. Climbed over the edge, rolled over the ground.
My god, the air smelled good.
My god, it was scary up here.
My god, I was a dirty, pathetic wreck.
But I had found strength in me I never knew was there.
The world was so much more beautiful than I remembered. So much bigger.
I wandered around a bit. Nervous. Confused.
You know what? There are other holes.
Sometimes I lean over, squint down into their depths.
It reminds me. I'm so thankful I crawled out of my hole.
But sometimes, sometimes, when I lean over,
The urge to fall in again is so consuming it makes me dizzy.
It is so powerful. So frightening.
I've found other people here.
Some are like me, a little lost, a little scared, still wiping away the dirt.
If I am stumbling at the edge of a hole, I call out and they come rescue me.
I have to call out. I can't forget to, or I might fall in again.
I don't want to go back in there. Ever.
The hole is the strongest thing I've ever known.
The worst thing I've ever known.
Hey, did you know I saw you yesterday?
No, probably not. You didn't see me. You were too distracted.
You were looking intently into a hole.
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Comments: 13
thisnameisgood [2006-03-10 03:40:35 +0000 UTC]
I was thrown into that hole today. I hate my hole, but sombody has thown me into it like I'm a piece of garbage. I want out. I cant climb.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
RavenBrain In reply to thisnameisgood [2006-03-10 05:42:17 +0000 UTC]
And, you're not a piece of garbage. So don't let them make you feel like it. Anyone who wants to make someone else feel like garbage is a ,a, I don't know, a real jackass and pretty lame.
Oh, that lacked strength.
Well, you feel better. You deserve to. Don't let 'em get to you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
RavenBrain In reply to thisnameisgood [2006-03-10 05:34:13 +0000 UTC]
Goddamn it, I just accidently erased my reply to you. Here, I'll type it again...
Oh, I'm sorry. The hole sucks. You poor thing.
You may not have the strength now to climb out, but you will....see, you can call out for help. And you just did! Because, I know you're there, and I can throw you a rope or a light, or just sit on the edge and keep you company until you regain your strength and will to climb.
Oooo, that bastard that threw you in there! Ooooo, if I get my hands on them I will kick their butts and throw them down there so you can step on their backs on your way back up. Oooooo, now I'm pissed. People can be such jerks sometimes, can't they?
here, a hug for you. You're not alone. Oh, hey, look around....maybe you'll see my name carved into the wall. I've been there too, you know.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
SweetRoxy [2006-03-07 03:29:08 +0000 UTC]
Wow. This... inspires me. It inspires me a lot.
Thank you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RavenBrain In reply to SweetRoxy [2006-03-07 14:41:57 +0000 UTC]
You are too sweet. Boy, it feels good to actually inspire someone for a change! I had a real nice time with you yesterday, thanks for your help. You're a good person and fun to be around.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
SweetRoxy In reply to RavenBrain [2006-03-08 02:49:07 +0000 UTC]
Aww... But I do mean every comment that I leave for you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RavenBrain In reply to Eraphim [2006-03-04 04:04:19 +0000 UTC]
Really? Well then, I'm glad it was there for you. Why do you think you need it, or is that private?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Eraphim In reply to RavenBrain [2006-03-04 04:30:27 +0000 UTC]
Well, it's just really good. Kind of sombre. But very hopeful. And I like that. It's always nice to know that there is a clear sky above the hole.
Oh, just kind of stressed. Report cards. The whole writing fiasco (which is being worked out as we speak). Just...little things.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RavenBrain In reply to Eraphim [2006-03-04 04:33:01 +0000 UTC]
There always is a bit of blue sky somewhere if you look hard enough. You'll be through this soon and feeling good again.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0