RenjisBabySister [2008-07-13 00:53:36 +0000 UTC]

very interesting, i liked it (im not sadistic or anything i just like how everything is said)

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

witheredrose17 [2005-12-01 23:42:12 +0000 UTC]

i feel like last line ; 'i'm bleeding'
is actually removed from the self destruction you've described above,
as in, not caused by it. to me it seems you, in yourself,
were bleeding before these actions manifested. does this seem a true interpretation to you?

it feels (to me) as though you had to do all of these things
to in some way make it ok
for you to say you are broken, that you are bleeding.

i know this well.

rose

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lost-mister-me [2004-02-16 23:17:01 +0000 UTC]

so raw. something ive felt before. im sure many people can identify with this. and i like that delayed ending. the obviousness of it makes it more effective.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

bla-zeh [2004-01-21 14:25:29 +0000 UTC]

interesting imagery nice

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

cassuslebna [2004-01-08 16:44:29 +0000 UTC]

this made me horrible nauseous... good job
you might wanna try drugs instead... they're easier




(j/k don't listen to him.. he's off his rocker)

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

creeront [2004-01-06 07:41:48 +0000 UTC]

I hate it when people say, ooh, it's so beautiful and dark. It's a great poem, expressing massive amounts of pain and suffering. Don't let them tell you what to do, just keep all the compliments and positive feeback inside, don't let others deride you, nor yourself, as I do.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

wellzy4eva [2004-01-01 17:22:37 +0000 UTC]

ouch! I hope this is a vision and not a reality.

If its a vision, its very dark (Good), else...seek help

Dave

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ruzkin [2004-01-01 03:54:48 +0000 UTC]

Horribly macabre yet compelling - another brilliant piece. Are you okay? This emotion has to spring from somewhere...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

meatloafsurprise [2003-12-27 11:43:31 +0000 UTC]

i understand. and i like how you've written this. and i like the way you've captured it. but it's not a subject i like. therefore. i'll say;

i appreciate this piece for what it is, good poetry.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

shawnte [2003-12-25 05:12:25 +0000 UTC]

I like it. Sometimes the emotion can speak for itself, and this is definitley that way.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

sporkk [2003-12-24 08:24:38 +0000 UTC]

Hmm..... I hate to say it, but I don't like this one. Most of your poems have a beautiful sort of gloomy elegance, but I think this one doesn't quite make it.

I think I see the effect you're trying to make, but it all seems a bit detached. It's like there's pain and anger of the subject, but not the passion to go with it, and I think that makes it lose a lot of its power.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

smokeybear [2003-12-23 01:06:15 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

goodmorning [2003-12-22 06:56:46 +0000 UTC]

hmmn.... great poem, beautiful in its own dark way

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

crazy-chick6969 [2003-12-22 02:43:12 +0000 UTC]

This is a well writen poem. I like. I can fell your pain. I know exactly what you ment in your words. Good job.
~crazy-chick~

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

lilitheternity [2003-12-21 01:41:31 +0000 UTC]

there is a lot of emotion in this, very well written...i hope you feel better soon

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

i-am-what-i-am [2003-12-20 13:28:55 +0000 UTC]

very.... discriptive, please dont do these things!
one question....
I bite my tongue
my mouth fills with blood
don't flinch - don't move

does that mean that it doesnt hurt anymore?.... no feeling?...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

silent-screamer [2003-12-20 07:29:46 +0000 UTC]

"I bite my tongue
my mouth fills with blood
don't flinch - don't move"

I think this was really well done - really graphic and disturbing but the emotion behind it is so sad.
And yeah, I agree with Caitlin ... it's a bit scary to read ... much like alot of the poetry on DA

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Wyn-- [2003-12-19 17:38:00 +0000 UTC]

ouch... that would hurt, one question, how did you write this peom after ding all of that? I LIKe IT

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

happy-pill [2003-12-19 10:51:32 +0000 UTC]

It's beautifully written...
But scary to read.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1