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exclaim
Published: 2004-10-01 04:05:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 5207; Favourites: 81; Downloads: 608
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Description
ah!and
ha!
and just
!
!!
the pound and the thud and the gasp
captured in
! -
!!
and the italian gesture
the overwhelming
(! - !) verbose
physical - !
of clenched fists and swooping arms
oh!
-but this is
joy!
exuberance!
! -
love
!love!passion!life!
the sun !-gloriously! climaxes over the trees
the silent !-scream! of eyes
as they !-beam! and !-shine!
and - !
just - !
isn't it wonderful!
the fact
the exclamation
overriding any question
-a state of ecstasy confined to a mere dash and dot
it just is
a jump a dance a song
completely intangible
untouchable
-laughter
and surprise
and shock
-and laughter!
(the prelude to a smile)
it is the peak!
and the climax!
and !~vibrance!~ herself
!
but is also an acknowledgement
(in its silence)
of the silence
the
.
of afterwards
but that is tomorrow
and
! -
is now
Related content
Comments: 197
simply put, it's just about anything anybody could want in an experimental piece. it conveys tremendous emotion, an uncanny wit, and undeniable readability despite its visual-over-verbal tendencies. as an experimental poet myself, this is the kind of work i dream of.
e. e. cummings would be proud
!
!!
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thank you 
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well, you did a magnificent job of it
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I also like this. I like the credit that ! is finally given
because for so long
has !
deserved as much
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i have always loved exclamation marks (among all other punctuation) but the use of exclamation points were often extremely discouraged by my english teachers . . . i was hoping to be able to give them a dya in the sun, too becuse goash darn it, they deserve it
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You deserve the daily deviation. 
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thank you
i hope that you are able to find other pieces that you enjoy. walt whitman has a passsion for joy and life that he expresses in his poetry (he can get a bit owrdy, though at times) if you care to check him out.
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I did. Thank you. Keep up the delightful work.
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Absolutely amazing.. I have never seen such _vibrance_ in written _words_.. You are simply fantastic, this has to be faved.
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thank you - and i promise you that there are many others out there that exhibit much more vibrance better than i ever could
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My talking about technical issues would be useless here. Simply put, this is a great piece, friend.
Keep up the good work
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thank you - i will do the best i can
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Very nice! I love the exclamation, and it is true, exclamation is wonderous! And some people might say you overdid it, but who is to say you overdid anything? Its your poem! And i thought all the exclamations were well places and had their own parts in this poem, each seemed as important as every other. I love some of the wordings, what you really said in the poem, like:
" !love!passion!life!
the sun !-gloriously! rises over the trees
the silent !-scream! of eyes
as they !-beam! and !-shine!"
wow! fantastic..exclamatory.
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thanks
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cleverness. i sat and had a good giggle, because all that comes of the ! follows - the smiles and laughter, along with the italian gestures. It all happens. And when you put it with words - simply amazing.
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giggling is one of my favorite things . . . the physical word itself is worthy of giggling
thank you for your kind comment
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Quite lyrical and amazingly energetic!
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thank you
i personally love the implicit energy that exclamation marks possess and had fun playing with them
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I love it. It's taking text to another level.
Read silently and aloud, it provides great
entertainment.
Good concept, and I'm glad it got a dA.
My first 
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i am completely flattered to have that honour. thank you.
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At last I'm seeing some really decent works featured as a Daily Deviation. Good job, DA.
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There is something incredibly, incredibly hopeful about this piece that makes me smile. A lot.
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i am overjoyed that i was able to make you smile.
"Sprinkle joy." ~ Emerson
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I love this piece because (as with all of the pieces i have read of yours) it's different and quirky and full of life and just really gutsy. I love when people take chances and try something different.
Don't stop!
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thank you - it really means a lot that you take the time to care
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this is very clever in parts... some of the line breaks work very well......
however, a lot of them are unwarranted in my view and do not contribute to the poem... it almost seems as though you've read some cummings and thought you'd give it a go... but without understanding the subtlety of the line break...
but this is not something to be discouraged, you gave it a go, and you have shown some wit in this...
interesting piece...
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thank you for bringing this up - while i do like cummings, i never really thought this to be a play off of him. for me, writing (especially poetry) is a very active thing and my line breaks are an attempt to translate that onto a piece of paper . . . i fiddle with them a lot, though. there are some that i know i need and that i think work correctly, but there are others that i take in and pull out or move around. if there are any specific places that you thought i handled them less correctly, i would be interested to knowing, just to compare to the changes that i have made.
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to spite the g33ky-g1rl I will read this at the next open mic in coffeehouse.
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Lo Li Ta
Light of my life, fire of my loins, my sin, my soul, lolita. The tip of the toungue taking a trip of three steps to tap, at three, on the teeth, Lo Li Ta
or something like that. Used to use it in our Vocal Production and Speech work.
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yeah . . . something like that
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i need to read more of his work
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it wouldn't be a waste of your time
(if you ask me, anyway) ;~)
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i'll take that as a good interesting
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Gosh!
I love explamation marks too! But, i love reading poetry aloud so, i'm buggered.
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yeah, i know what you mean - the stunted jolt through the shoulders and chest doesn't always quite cut it . . . . that's mainly why i haven't played wth punctuation more often, i love the way words and structure feel, but for the most part i really need to hear it all - you really soak it in on another level.
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^Astrophel just read this for us on open mic and it was pretty bloody amazing!
If you agree i would love to record it and host it somewhere.
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i would actually be really interested in hearing that - i have only heard myself and one of my teachers read it and he had heard my take on it and what i was trying to do with it, and well, he knows me well enough for it to have influenced his reading. i would love to hear this with a virgin voice.
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do you have a mic? could you join us on teamspeak to hear the reading?
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no, i don't have a mic - with me at least . . . i know i have one at home, but i don't know if it would work properly. is it necessary to have one - would i be able to just sit in and listen?
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sure you can sit and listen
if you hop into coffeehouse we can tell you how!
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sure you can sit and listen
if you hop into coffeehouse we can tell you how!
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