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redredundance — Flaske Page 15
Published: 2013-01-13 22:09:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 13037; Favourites: 635; Downloads: 130
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Comments: 96
gosh darn it, this was amazing, breaks my liddle heart
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Such a beautiful story. Sad; but beautiful. The art and colors are amazing. It really speaks to me
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This is a beautiful piece of work, through and through. The colours, the layouts, the story... all excellent. Thanks for sharing!
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GREAT layout for the emotion of the page! This story is so beautifully compelling.
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Oh my wonders! That was fascinating! How absolutely beautiful and ingenious! At the moment I don't have the words to offer you a proper compliment.
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This was so beatiful and sad ;u; Also I'm repeating what others said but the layout is really amazing. I love how you tell the story *__*
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Alright! Read the whole thing now *3* And you ought to be so proud of yourself, love! The pages I liked the most, I commented on ^_^ I only have a couple of minor things. I think in some pages, the layout is AMAZING! in others it's more confusing than helpful. It makes it a little hard to understand what's going on. I also think the font you're using isn't aiding to the comic's visual beauty - I'd change it to something more fitting, perhaps handwritten ^^ Good work, dear! LOVE IT!
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I think you're right. Even though I don't want to change much of the art because I want to call it DONE, I could add a few things for clarity and improve the text. It would be neat to garner enough critique for making the published version even better.
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When it's published I'LL BUY ASAP!
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so sad! beautifully drawn. i would love to see the speech bubbles/text handwritten with the same textured brush you use for the art though, but that's just personal taste. gorgeous use of color and visual style. i love this last page.
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Ahahaha, my handwriting is atrocious! Maybe I can use one of those programs to make a font out of my handwriting... Then it would be easier on my hands and everyone's eyeballs.
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This was so beautiful.
I normally never bother reading a lot of stories here but... this was just beautiful. Wow. Thank you for this.
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one of the most beauty short story I've read so far. I really like the design, backgrounds reminds me of samurai jack series, BUT, there is definitely something YOURS. and I love it
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That makes sense since I love samurai jack. ^.^;
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This was a beautiful read - the story corresponded with the visuals - use of speech bubbles, page layout and colors - at the beginning it was about actions, deeds and words - at the end it was about deep feelings, mood and result after escalation - inner psychological process as where in the beginning it was purely observatory and telling. I hope you will indeed publish this with your friends in some anthology and will have success in printed version as well 
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Such a wonderful comic with beautiful composition, colours, layout and EVERYTHING really
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That was a pleasure to read, very awesome style.
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I like the style you used very much.
Some awkwardness in the text though. For starters, it's spelled "elixir".
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Oh jeebs, I wanted to clean up the text/proofread but I just wanted to send it off into the world already.
Let's hope I get around to fixing that and not forgetting. ^.^;
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Might you put it on a website maybe? I want to share, but I fear those I want to send this to have shorter attention spans than I.
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I'll be putting it on tumblr later this week but for now I've linked all the pages to each other consecutively so it's more convenient.
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Damn... It was wonderful, but so cruel. I love it. And those colors, oh my god !!!
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I'm not sure if I understood... The blonde girl sacrificed herself to bring the brunette back, then the guy decided to leave the brunette there and take the blonde's remains? That's... so sad 
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Yeah, I was afraid I was too unclear and unsympathetic with the guy here-
He is basically overburdened with guilt: he wants the brunette to live because of blonde's sacrifice, but he can not face the brunette knowing what he did to resurrect her (falling in love with another, letting that person die, then hiding that fact)
I didn't want to put these feelings into words, and that was the biggest challenge for me.
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The man's feelings and reactions were quite clearly conveyed, yes
Now I suppose the guy is off to recreate the bottle using the knowledge he has gained and thus to bring Andalusia back to life. And he just leaves the other girl there in the middle of nowhere. I think it's OK if you've been unsympathetic with him: even if he didn't know how to face her, that's a hell of a shitty thing to do, especially to a former love
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Yeah, I'm assuming the confusing part is page 12- I jump a little further after she sacrifices herself and I see how I would lay it out now to make it more clear. I can think of at least two pages I'd add to the story to enrich it...
And I like what you think of the ending, I'm happiest with endings that are open enough for people to draw conclusions but with enough closure to be satisfying. I was more interested in where Andalusia came from, that what Vanner did to Messara is possibly what got Andalusia in that bottle in the first place- this could be an endless cycle.
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*catching up on messages and stuff after a couple of really hectic weeks*
Right about the endless circle. In fact, the whole comic reads a little like a Borges story: it's just the kind of thing he would write
As for the confusion in p.12... I'm not sure it'd be worth adding two pages to the story just to clarify that. It could break up the rhythm. On the other hand, I can't think of a way to represent the scene more clearly either...
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Thats what I concluded with the story. My thoughts were that Andalusia was a woman that another alchemist had revived from bones, as Messara is (hence why she knows why alchemists come to seek the bottle, but she does not know the name attached to the bones).
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It was wonderfully done. X3
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oh Lord. That's tragic. I mean, I knew it was coming but... major props to you for its execution. Poor Messara. And Vanner. And Andalusia...
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Thanks for reading it all, and the comments too... and yeah I've got a thing for tragedy.
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Indeed you do. Thanks for posting.
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There's a chance that may happen, a collection with some friends! Thank you for letting me know.
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I third that! I would love to own a print copy of this! let us know if you ever do a print!
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I agree, I absolutely would buy this. It's amazing.
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