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Description
Title: Nothing for Me
Anime Overall (Mine): New Story
Character: Lucifer

(This is written somewhere in my story New Story: Experience Project". This is a BIG spoiler, but you won't remember this until the real thing, which hasn't even been written yet, is released.)

What is it about pain that makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs from the top of a mountain? It couldn't convey my feelings enough.

Watching all of those eight who clipped their wings be given a choice to return to Heaven or Hell (four of them belonged to me, but I knew some of them would be angels instead), and knowing the lengths that some of them had gone to be someone that He wouldn't want them to be… you don't know how hard I've tried to be different.

My right-hand demon Nadia always did have a mad-hot crush on me. She was one of the many girls in Hell that, if I had wanted them to, would have bent over at the waist and let me have my way with them. I never wanted that, though. I never looked at those curvy hips and thought, 'I want to touch those.' I never held myself back from groping those extra bouncy breasts. I never let my eyes linger on her body.

Clearly, holding myself back wasn't good enough for Him.

I got out of bed after she passed out. I had worked her to the bone while someone else took her shift in Hell, keeping mourning people from stopping their work for a break. This was the first time anyone had ever been in my bed. I put on my clothes and left. Sex should leave some sort of afterglow, right? I don't feel like a bright and shining star right now. The workers glance at me and then go back to work. The slave-driving demons that work for me let their eyes linger on me, watching me walk away. They all knew what I had done. I'm sure that the other girls were jealous. I didn't give a damn.

There are mountains where no people go. They're high above the clouds, and seem to oversee everything on Earth. Just to torture myself, instead of flying to the top, I made my muscles ache and burn as I climbed my way to my destination.

I ground my teeth together as I felt all of my frustrations be put into this one climb. Clearly, this trip wasn't for pleasure or site-seeing. And since I knew that no matter where I was, He'd hear me… Why not scream from the tallest mountain on Earth?

I reach the top, my body drenched with sweat and testosterone. I sit for a moment to catch my breath. I hug my knees to my chest, and look up and away from the mountain. I was above cotton candy-colored clouds, a place where nobody—not a single living soul—goes. Heaven isn't necessarily in the clouds. If it were, humans would have already found it. But even so, looking at this peaceful place after my hard work to get here reminded me of home. I teared up, showing weakness now that I as all alone.

'Don't cry, dammit! This isn't what you came here for!' I thought. The anger at myself for not being able to control myself hurt to the core. When I first fell, none of this mattered. I was so sure of myself. But it's been long enough now. I've thought about it too much. I stood up and screamed.

"I did everything!" I was looking high above me as if He were there. "I held myself back from pleasures I could have had! You brought me back after the old story ended, and brought me into this new Earth! You scrapped all of the angels that worked for you in Heaven, all of my brothers that didn't go with me! The only pieces in this game of life that were reused were You, Me, and Jesus, your fucking favorite!" I don't know where I got it from, but I picked up a rock in my right hand and tossed it as far as I could. "You gave me more power, saying that in this new story, the humans could have powers of different kinds! You gave me real power over these people this time! And I liked the abilities I gave them! I EVEN PITY THEM SOMETIMES!" most of the time I hate them. I don't get it. "After all of the times those humans forsook you, why are they so important to You?!" I threw another rock, harder this time as if trying to strike the one guy I'd never be able to strike. I know he's not feeling this, but I know he's hearing me, and it hurts like hell. "I don't care if Your son didn't sin!" I don't even know what the point of mentioning Jesus right now was. I'm at my wits' end. "You liked me best when I was the youngest angel in training! I was Your best! You kept me by Your side! And then, I made the choice… the decision to fall and take others with me… because I can't fight You… And now that he's the youngest, and so is this planet, You love them more than anyone else! You say that You don't take favorites, but I know damn well that's not true!" I threw more rocks as I yelled. "And You say that You don't hated people, yet, here I am!" I threw several more rocks, grunting and screaming gibberish before dropping to my knees, too tired to continue doing this. I don't remember when they started falling. There wasn't even a warning before the tears started falling from my blue eyes. I fell flat on the ground and then curled up in a ball as if to protect myself from the world, and tangled my fingers in my blonde hair, pulling hard, but not hard enough to pull my hair out. I stayed that way for a long time.

It was deep into the night before someone found me. I had fallen asleep, somehow. All I can remember when I was found was that my head was laid on her—probably Nadia—large, soft chest, and I was taken home and put in bed. I know that they all know how I feel, but they know me too well to talk to me about it, because I'll obliterate them if they do. I know there's no redemption for me. None.

END

Description
Title: Nothing for Me
Anime Overall (Mine): New Story
Character: Lucifer

(This is written somewhere in my story New Story: Experience Project". This is a BIG spoiler, but you won't remember this until the real thing, which hasn't even been written yet, is released.)

What is it about pain that makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs from the top of a mountain? It couldn't convey my feelings enough.

Watching all of those eight who clipped their wings be given a choice to return to Heaven or Hell (four of them belonged to me, but I knew some of them would be angels instead), and knowing the lengths that some of them had gone to be someone that He wouldn't want them to be… you don't know how hard I've tried to be different.

My right-hand demon Nadia always did have a mad-hot crush on me. She was one of the many girls in Hell that, if I had wanted them to, would have bent over at the waist and let me have my way with them. I never wanted that, though. I never looked at those curvy hips and thought, 'I want to touch those.' I never held myself back from groping those extra bouncy breasts. I never let my eyes linger on her body.

Clearly, holding myself back wasn't good enough for Him.

I got out of bed after she passed out. I had worked her to the bone while someone else took her shift in Hell, keeping mourning people from stopping their work for a break. This was the first time anyone had ever been in my bed. I put on my clothes and left. Sex should leave some sort of afterglow, right? I don't feel like a bright and shining star right now. The workers glance at me and then go back to work. The slave-driving demons that work for me let their eyes linger on me, watching me walk away. They all knew what I had done. I'm sure that the other girls were jealous. I didn't give a damn.

There are mountains where no people go. They're high above the clouds, and seem to oversee everything on Earth. Just to torture myself, instead of flying to the top, I made my muscles ache and burn as I climbed my way to my destination.

I ground my teeth together as I felt all of my frustrations be put into this one climb. Clearly, this trip wasn't for pleasure or site-seeing. And since I knew that no matter where I was, He'd hear me… Why not scream from the tallest mountain on Earth?

I reach the top, my body drenched with sweat and testosterone. I sit for a moment to catch my breath. I hug my knees to my chest, and look up and away from the mountain. I was above cotton candy-colored clouds, a place where nobody—not a single living soul—goes. Heaven isn't necessarily in the clouds. If it were, humans would have already found it. But even so, looking at this peaceful place after my hard work to get here reminded me of home. I teared up, showing weakness now that I as all alone.

'Don't cry, dammit! This isn't what you came here for!' I thought. The anger at myself for not being able to control myself hurt to the core. When I first fell, none of this mattered. I was so sure of myself. But it's been long enough now. I've thought about it too much. I stood up and screamed.

"I did everything!" I was looking high above me as if He were there. "I held myself back from pleasures I could have had! You brought me back after the old story ended, and brought me into this new Earth! You scrapped all of the angels that worked for you in Heaven, all of my brothers that didn't go with me! The only pieces in this game of life that were reused were You, Me, and Jesus, your fucking favorite!" I don't know where I got it from, but I picked up a rock in my right hand and tossed it as far as I could. "You gave me more power, saying that in this new story, the humans could have powers of different kinds! You gave me real power over these people this time! And I liked the abilities I gave them! I EVEN PITY THEM SOMETIMES!" most of the time I hate them. I don't get it. "After all of the times those humans forsook you, why are they so important to You?!" I threw another rock, harder this time as if trying to strike the one guy I'd never be able to strike. I know he's not feeling this, but I know he's hearing me, and it hurts like hell. "I don't care if Your son didn't sin!" I don't even know what the point of mentioning Jesus right now was. I'm at my wits' end. "You liked me best when I was the youngest angel in training! I was Your best! You kept me by Your side! And then, I made the choice… the decision to fall and take others with me… because I can't fight You… And now that he's the youngest, and so is this planet, You love them more than anyone else! You say that You don't take favorites, but I know damn well that's not true!" I threw more rocks as I yelled. "And You say that You don't hated people, yet, here I am!" I threw several more rocks, grunting and screaming gibberish before dropping to my knees, too tired to continue doing this. I don't remember when they started falling. There wasn't even a warning before the tears started falling from my blue eyes. I fell flat on the ground and then curled up in a ball as if to protect myself from the world, and tangled my fingers in my blonde hair, pulling hard, but not hard enough to pull my hair out. I stayed that way for a long time.

It was deep into the night before someone found me. I had fallen asleep, somehow. All I can remember when I was found was that my head was laid on her—probably Nadia—large, soft chest, and I was taken home and put in bed. I know that they all know how I feel, but they know me too well to talk to me about it, because I'll obliterate them if they do. I know there's no redemption for me. None.

END