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Renapple — Rotting to the Core
Published: 2009-04-13 07:43:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 591; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 0
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Description
Black black heart why would you offer moreWhy would you make it easier on me to satisfy
I'm on fire I'm rotting to the core
I'm eating all your kings and queens
All your sex and your diamonds
COPYRIGHT : =Renapple
SERENA~JANE NIXON
media: watercolour, pencil
3+ hrs
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Comments: 9
Sometimes its within the dark recess' that avail to our nature to truly see what is out there... not the sugar coated world that we are led to see every day...
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sorry I was interrupted.
Though it may be dark and disturbing, it holds a vulnerability to is, that is appealing. It reminds me of Cameron from Terminator, though she may not be real, she came from reality and therefor is more real than you or I.
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ok the ideal is a little twisted
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Hmm long distance.. the sad romance of movies. I don't recommend it to anyone, despite the saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder", because I think that there are conditions to this theory.
I may be only a teenager, but I dont even tend to crush on a guy easily, like most of my friends who can go from one to the next every other week. So I can side with you there when it comes to 'loving easy'. For me, I think it could be a trust issue.
Anyway, if it was practically her choice to invoke an intimate relationship, then I guess it just wasn't going to happen. After all, it takes two to tango.
In my short years, I'm still with my first boyfriend, and of course we've got our dramas 
The country. Love it. Hate it. Live in it. At least at school I have a way to meet people, but once you're an adult.. it takes initiative to even get out of your house haha 
I plan to go to a post-secondary school for sure, but I don't come from a privileged family, so I know the costs of it. Maybe in the place you are in, college isn't necessary for improvement, you even enjoy your current job. Although, it definitely would be a way to meet people. [ I understood your 'formula' ^.~ I am taking advanced maths. ] The limitations of adulthood, or even my boyfriend who is graduating, is definitely somewhat depressing. I don't want to get to an age where I just feel so immobile, stuck. I'm still exploring career options, but am for basically the first time, only now considering using my talents art-wise, to my advantage.
In other words, beyond more school, language and art.. I really have no idea what I'm going to do. :C
P.S. I like your answer.
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Honestly, I wouldn't recommend it either... but that doesn't mean I listen to my own advice.
I don't understand how the people who go through crush after crush do it- the people that, like you say, seem to find someone else every other week. My record is worse than one every other year! XD I guess I could be proud of that if I take it in a positive light. I've learned some very vital lessons, and I am in fact a better person through some of the negative experiences I've gone through. (I sincerely hope)
I think, that you're lucky for having one person you can stick with. Even if you do have dramas. If there's any baggage, you can keep it with that one person, and they know everything that's added up to the point so there's a lot you can skip explaining. And I think at a certain point it's like, whether it's intimate or not moves to second place over having been around each other so long it's like a best friend forever kind of feeling. Or even family.
Pfweh. My options are mostly limited to discovering someone I haven't met yet, in person for a change. I'm a shy person when it comes to breaking the ice with anyone in person, I relax more with people I know. It's especially hard when I think a gal is attractive, to talk with her. It's easier to talk with people online because you can learn something about them before saying anything. Especially here- be it artwork, writing, or interests. ...I realize I'm of almost cynical mindset on this (but not quiiiite). I still have the spark of dreamer in me... it's just, I feel like I'm getting old and by now, the majority of the great personalities are quite taken. *shrug* I believe in exceptions. I'm just a realist in realizing it's a hard road to find love.
XD I've certainly felt that way before. Funny how I miss highschool sometimes for that very reason. -School is a social environment but, I didn't use it that way at the time. Now- my life is hermitsville. XD My job could be sociable-ish, sortof... but not the best of social environments. Otherwise, let's see... the ways I could meet people: through friends. Though the friends that are still around tend to know other people I already know and such... I could maybe run into someone shopping? lol I don't have the guts to start a conversation with a stranger from out of the blue. Happenstance? One of those right-place right-time right-situation kindof things? Honestly, alas, probably my best chance for coming across someone interesting I don't know. And... online. Which -does- tend to be my primary source for new friendships; which does in fact make me happy. Though the long distance relationship thing, while granting moments of happiness, is not the prime of possibilities.
With Synovate... the only other call floor for Synovate is in Fresno California. I think there are independant representatives elsewhere- that's beyond my knowledge. Moving to Fresno would be interesting... but not -plausible- at -this- point in my life. I have hospital bills that I'm paying off from the beginning of this year. New Year's, actually, I had surgery to remove a ruptured appendix. Summary: NOT fun. I'm fine now, have been a good while. Though I'm still paying off a heck of a debt. $200 a month probably for the rest of the year at least. It limits my ability to save up (though I still am doing so for a road-trip this Summer) and makes it hard to think about immediate independant living.
XD Yeah, you're not initiated in the real world yet but trust me, there's a certain charm in that. The real world tends to make people into boring adults. XD Find the perfect kind of career for yourself and you'll never work a day in your life. Or at the least you'll enjoy it enough you don't think about it. I do feel immobile and stuck- although I'm not entirely discontent with my surroundings. They are comfortable and familiar, and not daunting. There may not be tons of discoveries to be made, but I can navigate my life to a point of honest contentment. My only main shortage is new people who really click with me.
Something I'd like to pass along- if you've got a good person and it means enough to you, if you want it to be you won't put literal distance between yourselves; you'll move as a pair. Or not move. Someone else gave me the advice earlier in the night that "Your life is in your own hands. Do with it what you want." -Even though I don't know what it is I want; that's the journey of it. You'll figure out your own path Serena, it'll just take time and come little by little.
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