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"The Unending Journey of the Heart"
By: Jade Lightning, a.k.a. Inuyashas-hanyougirl
Chapter 5: "Together They Stand, Divided They Fall"

   The newly formed Guardian Souls went on their way, and for the first couple of weeks, it was just the adventure the three of them had longed for together.  Traveling from north to south, east to west, and everywhere in between, like Sonic, they traveled wherever their hearts beckoned them to go, having many eventful days along the way.

   For starters, Hidama longed to return to the Northern Kingdom to visit his friends, Jacob and Olivia.  And thus the Guardian Souls made the trek northward, and after a little over a week after leaving Angel Island they made it to the boundaries of the great Northern Kingdom, tucked away in the high, Grey Mountains.  Upon arrival, Hidama gazed with wonder on the glorious kingdom, seeing that in the near six months that Jacob ruled as king, he had brought the Northern Kingdom, once brought to its knees, back to its former glory.

   Jacob had settled in to his position rather quickly, and upon seeing Hidama again, he welcomed the group with open arms.  It was a happy reunion, for both Jacob and Olivia, who now ruled the Kingdom side by side.

  On the third night of their stay in the Northern Kingdom, the group settled down for the night; while Aranelion and Elianaron slept soundly, Hidama paced the same halls he did the night he spoke with Shadow, who foretold of the unrest in Hidama’s heart.  This time, however, he was met with Jacob, who took up conversation with him.

   “Oh Hidama, it’s so nice to have you here again, and with your own team now to boot!  How are things on Angel Island?” Jacob asked.

   Hidama, who was leaning against the banister, gazing at the valley below, smiled weakly, and said, “You mean for me or them?”

   Jacob frowned, sensing the malcontent in Hidama’s voice.  Standing beside him, he said, “Gee Hidama, you sound like something’s got you down and in a big way…care to tell me what’s wrong?”

   The echidna looked at his friend, then back to the valley, sighing heavily; “That’s why I’m here Jacob; I was happy for a little while…but it turned out to be nothing but deceptive comfort; the dark years I spent in the mutant prison are not so quick to be erased, and the lasting pain is just as stubborn to leave my soul.  My brother, his son…his family, his happy life…it’s not enough to heal my wounded spirit, and set my aching heart free from this gnawing discomfort.  I have to search for my happiness…that’s why I’m here…I just hope that I’ll be soon to find it…for I hate terribly to be away from my family for long you see,” Hidama explained.

   It was silent between the two for a few moments.  Finally, Jacob broke the silence and said, “Gosh Hidama…I don’t know if running like this is going to be enough to cure this misery in your heart…it’ll just have to come to you with time.”

   “Just, I know what I’m doing Jacob okay!?  Please!” Hidama shouted.  Jacob’s eyes widened, and he backed away a few steps, lowering his eyes and looking away.  Hidama, not meaning to yell and upset his friend, walked up to him, kneeling down and hugging him tightly.  He said, “Oh Jacob, I’m so sorry.  It’s just…you’re right in some ways.  I don’t know how or where I’ll find what I seek…I just know that Angel Island isn’t where I’m going to find it.  That’s why I’m traveling with them, for I feel it in my heart…all I have to do is keep searching for my peace.  I know I’ll be guided to it someday, and this unrest in my heart finally dispelled.”

   The fox slowly hugged Hidama back, saying, “I—I know Hidama…it’s just…Olivia and I spent a long time in that prison too…and I can honestly say this, for the both of us, that we aren’t haunted anymore by these nightmares of the past.  I thought perhaps getting back to such a wonderful life on Angel Island would do it for you too…but I guess because you suffered longer, harder, and in a different way, you’re going to need something much greater to help heal your soul, and make those haunting memories go away for good.”

   Hidama backed out of their hug enough to look at Jacob’s face; studying it carefully, searching the depths of Jacob’s heart with his mind’s eye, he could see that Jacob indeed spoke the truth, perhaps for Olivia as well.  Any torturous memories, dark and cold nightmares from the years long past had left his heart; he was able to live his life freely and without a worry or care of miseries he once knew.  Hidama’s deepest wish was to be able to attain this same relief, so that he might escape his own troubles, the same way his brother had.

   Jacob became aware of Hidama looking at him, and his words broke Hidama’s gaze into the depths of his heart.  “Hey, Hidama, are you okay?  What you said…you’re right.  Knuckles found his peace after a long time, in an unexpected place, through his love for Amy…and he wasn’t even really searching for it…he just found it.  I know that you’ll find it too Hidama, you just have to keep trying, living your life as best you can, just like Knuckles did, and then…the source of true peace will find it’s way to your soul…I just know it.”

   The two looked at each other, again, silent for a moment.  Hidama’s eyes looked glassy, as if on the verge of tears, yet he didn’t cry, he smiled, hugging Jacob tightly.  He said, “I am just so overjoyed to know you and Olivia are doing so well for yourselves…and you have escaped the nightmares our years in Feldmort’s prisons ingrained on our hearts, our very essences, just as my brother is free from any unrest the miseries of his past burned into his soul.  You are wise Jacob, and you speak rightly; I know I’ll find my peace…because I have wonderful friends like you and the Brokenstar Twins to help me find my way from darkness to light.  I’m so grateful for your love and friendship.”

   Jacob returned the hug, and Hidama stood up, wiping the tears from his eyes and saying, “I’m also grateful for a warm meal; Aranelion and Elianaron still have a bit to learn about culinary skills in the wild.”  The two laughed at that, and Hidama continued, “I also appreciate the comfortable beds…you have no idea.”

   They both had a good laugh, and after the laughter died down, Hidama started walking down the hall, into the castle, and towards his sleeping chambers; turning to Jacob before they parted ways for the night, he said, “Thank you Jacob…not so much as for your hospitality, but for your friendship, and your wise and encouraging words.  It’s friends like you that keep my hope for peace alive.  I wish you and the Northern Kingdom all the happiness and prosperity in the world.”

   Hidama bowed low, and Jacob, though he was the king of the Northern Kingdom, bowed in response to Hidama, saying, “It’s nothing Hidama, really, oh great Guardian of the Master Emerald.”  As they both stood up, Jacob said, “Get some sleep Hidama…I believe your friends wanted to leave tomorrow, so you want to be well rested for the journey ahead.  I’ll have provisions prepared for your trip, so you’ll be all set for departure after breakfast tomorrow.  And do remember, you are always welcome in my kingdom, as echidnas always have been.”

   “And always will be apparently…heh, after barely two days those two want to run again,” Hidama replied.  He sighed and said, “Oh well, no stopping those two…traveling is their life, spare the few weeks they spend in Valordian with their mother.”  He smiled at Jacob once more, and said, “Goodnight Jacob, and again, I am indebted to you for your generosity and friendship.”

   The two friends parted ways after this, and Hidama eased into a slow, slightly restless sleep, as in his dreams, he thought only of his brother, his nephew, and Angel Island, as well as the long, uncertain journey that lay before him.

   That next morning, as anticipated, after breakfast, the Brokenstar Twins were eager to move on their way, claiming they never stayed in one place for much more than a week, whether they enjoyed the hospitality or not.  Infact they only stayed in Valordian, the home of their mother’s kindred, for more than a week at a time, and with Hidama in company, this proved to be no different.

   After their leave from the Northern Kingdom, their journey was marked by little more than crossing vast lengths of countryside, with only the quiet glory of the landscape to go with them along the way.  The group of friends talked about better times, when their fathers were still alive, and the glory of the echidna clan was yet to be decimated.  Of course, these were the years of their youth, back when they had just met, and the friendship between the Son of the Guardian and the hybrid twins began.

   Both Aranelion and Elianaron confessed that Hidama was still their best friend, one of few the twins had made, as their mother’s kindred still did their best to ignore them, unsure of them based on appearance alone, and the history of their mother’s affair with an echidna.  Elianaron went on to explain that to their mother’s kindred, the echidnas would forever remain a strange and elusive people, a race they knew little about, and even if they had the chance to meet them, would do their best to remove themselves from.

   There was no denying that at the time of their births, the echidnas were still known practically worldwide as the Master Race, having three distinct strains of kindred; The echidnas of Angel Island, the echidnas of the Northern Kingdom, and one final, little known race of echidnas that lived on the other side of the planet, far removed from the other lines, but no less powerful, as they had their own Master gem in their possession.  Still more echidnas once walked the earth, traveling between the homes of the ruling lines of kindred, and yet, all three echidna strains were all but wiped out by the mutant armies…even the few wandering echidnas met their end, and now, only Hidama, Knuckles, and the Brokenstar Twins lived to succeed them.

   Still, their mother’s race, and of course the whole of the world was in utter shock after the echidnas were attacked, and for many people the echidnas were still recognized as extinct, the few survivors there were going largely unnoticed, and many people still dying to find the location of the powerful Master Emerald, as well as the Master gem the final echidna strain possessed, as well as the enormous wealth of the echidnas of the Northern Kingdom.  Yet the echidnas had great power and spells that they used to protect themselves and their wealth, and it was this same power and magic that protected Knuckles and the Master Emerald after Angel Island fell out of the sky.  Though Angel Island was invaded, the little echidna and Master Emerald went undiscovered, and were thus given up for dead and gone.

   So in the years that followed, their mother’s kindred grew even more afraid of the small hybrid twins, convinced they were doomed to meet the same fate as their father, and thus the hedgehogs of Valordian feared for their own lives, terrified of the echidnas and this “curse” that spelled out their doom.  As they grew up, the hedgehogs of Valordian moved from ignoring them to fearing them.  Their strange markings and appearance only furthered their fears, and slowly, they began to treat the twins harshly.  It wasn’t just them, for their mother was frowned upon and hated as well, for her infidelity in conceiving children through an echidna.

   The boys loved their mother dearly, but also possessed the nobility and strength of their father’s kindred.  So at a very young age, having lost everything else, they decided to set out on their own, leave Valordian, so perhaps the hedgehogs would relax and stop treating their mother cruelly.  They trained with the weapons their father left them, the very sword and daggers he himself once wielded the night he was killed, Akrenar, and Tempest and Twilight.

   Bequeathing his weapons to his young sons as he died the night of the attack, Aranelion and Elianaron’s father left his sword, Akrenar, to Aranelion, the oldest of his twin sons, and the daggers, Tempest and Twilight, to Elianaron, the younger.  At the age of eight, they began to train with their father’s weapons, which only served to frighten the hedgehogs of Valordian even more, as they were a peace-loving people, and never fought, save to defend themselves.

   Elianaron went on to explain that one day before they turned twelve, the hatred became too much, when they were brutally attacked and threatened with death.  The boys were convinced it was because they were growing older, and for some reason the Valordian hedgehogs were beginning to fear them more and more as they got stronger.  So the twins decided come their twelfth birthday, it was time to leave Valordian, for their mother’s sake, and in turn seek to avenge the memory of their father, whom they had lost four years before.

   After making silent preparations for their journey, the brothers told their mother what they had to do, and tearfully, the twins left their mother, late on the night of their twelfth birthday.

   “Mother’s been alright since then,” Elianaron said as the group traveled.  “Like Aranelion and I supposed the villagers left her alone once we left Valordian.  She’s even made a few friends again, but still, like us, she struggles to find acceptance like she used to know.  Aranelion and I have searched for years, and the love and care of the echidnas has never been found in anyone, anywhere else, even though we have been welcomed with open arms by humans.  I believe it is something we shall never find again.”

   The group had been traveling for weeks now, with the Northern Kingdom many days and miles behind them.  As they had traveled, the Brokenstar twins recounted their lives over the past eight years, how they struggled to find acceptance, a place where they felt they truly belonged, as Valordian had brutally shunned and rejected them, leaving them with a life of solitary wandering as their only way to cope.  Hidama too recounted the night that the echidnas were attacked, and his years in Feldmort’s prisons.  The three were just glad they were together again, as they were best friends in their youth, and Aranelion and Elianaron found comfort in the loving acceptance of their friend, the last of the glorious race of the echidnas, their father’s kin, who offered them the only real love and acceptance they had ever known.

   So the weeks passed, and the group traveled together, not finding much of a need to fight, but finding enjoyment from their travels, seeing many places, visiting many towns, living off the hospitality of others, and at other times, purely off the land and their skills.  One night such as this occurred at the end of the first month of their journey; they were in the middle of a vast, treeless desert, covered with shrubbery and the occasional shaded lake or stream.  It was a shortcut they were taking, saving them a journey over large mountains, covered by a storm, with the next series of towns within a few days journey.

   It had grown dark, and the Guardian Souls made camp in one of these shaded lakes.  Elianaron was the chef of the group, and began to prepare dinner off of rations they retained from the last town they stayed in.  The elderly lady they stayed with was extra generous, giving them supplies, food and water for their journey across the desert, as there was hardly any other source of food to be found in this deserted plain.  Meanwhile, Aranelion polished Akrenar, and Hidama stood, leaned up against a tree, staring into the stars above.

   He was in different mind set than that of his friends; his wandering mind took its own course to the alternate reality of his waking dreams.  He had found little fulfillment in the weeks that passed; his heart felt sick, for he was beginning to deeply miss his brother, especially his little nephew Mikomi.  His heart beckoned him to return to Angel Island…and yet, his mind knew that Angel Island was nothing more than a hole for him to crawl into, which would shelter and nurse his broken spirit, but do nothing to cure it, and save it from a dark, and deadly end.  No, to go back now would be to give in to this growing darkness that was slowly swallowing his weeping heart whole…yet traveling away from it wasn’t solving things either.  Was this the fate of his tortured spirit?  Would he never find the end of his misery?  Shadow had…he found it in Rouge…; Knuckles had too, for he found it in Amy…was love the only answer?

   This seemingly sole solution to his pain only scared Hidama even more.  As he leaned against the tree, lost in thought, his mind’s eye began to overload his senses with hundreds of images, scenes that both Knuckles and Shadow had encountered in their lives, from beginning to end.  He cringed terribly as this happened, because this overload of images were more than just visual sensations; he could hear things, smell things, taste things…he could even feel the pain suffered by his brother and his friend, and every time he encountered pain, fear, suffering, hopelessness, cruelty, doubt…any negative feelings suffered were ultimately cured by love, when Amy and Rouge came to their rescue, and made all these painful memories melt away.

   At this point, Hidama wrestled with his mind’s eye for control, for another revelation came to him at this point; where in the world would he ever find love as Knuckles and Shadow had?  Both Amy and Rouge were perfect for the one they loved; Amy was Knuckles’ light and strength, a match made in heaven, for they could both offer each other what no one else could, such deep and pure romance that not even time could waste away.  Shadow and Rouge too had such a unique and understanding, trusting love.  Rouge understood Shadow’s suffering and supported him so much she promised she would never leave him, and because of this, Shadow opened up to her unlike he would for anyone else.  No matter how you looked at it, both Knuckles and Shadow went through a great deal of suffering, but ultimately were saved by a wonderful soul who loved them deeply, and promised they would always be their for them, until death took them both from this world, and in turn separated them from pain and misery for all eternity.

   But no, Hidama wasn’t this fortunate.  He wasn’t lucky like his brother Knuckles, or fortunate like Shadow, who had become a role model to him in place of his father, to have someone to love him.  At this point, Hidama was convinced something like this was impossible; what he was convinced of was this.  If he couldn’t find the cure to his broken spirit any other way, then inevitably he would go the way of his ancestors…maybe…the way he should have gone a long time ago, seeing as the world had no place for him anymore.

   “Hey Hidama!  Help us!” a voice shouted.

   Hidama finally wrestled control over his mind and came back to his senses.  When he opened his eyes, he saw Elianaron and Aranelion, weapons drawn, locked in a battle with these weird creatures…some estranged mutants of either Feldmort’s or Olermere’s, it didn’t matter.  What did matter, is these mutants, like the ones who attacked Hidama and Shadow in the woods several months ago, were now attacking Hidama and the Brokenstar Twins.

   It took him only a second to spring into action; as he ran to the aid of his friends, he caught the eye of half of the mutant soldiers, who recognized him as an echidna, and the hatred of their fellow soldiers was directed at Hidama as they ran to attack him.  In the seconds before they reached him, Hidama remembered the forgiveness he extended to King Olermere, and wished it didn’t come to more killing and bloodshed, but seeing as his friends were in danger, he knew there was no other choice.

   Hidama thrust his fists into his enemies, taking them out one by one.  At first the group of about thirty or so was overwhelming for the Guardian Souls, but Elianaron ran to help Hidama, and they quickly gained control of the battle.  After taking out the group that surged on Hidama, the cries died down.

   Elianaron sheathed Tempest, and wiping his forehead, adjusting his headband as he did so, he said, “Phew…I guess some of Feldmort and Olermere’s minions are still around.  Seems to me they weren’t as held together as they liked to make us think.  That was some battle though, I love it.”  Elianaron was grinning ear to ear, knowing he just slaughtered some of the same mutants that were involved in the death of his father and the echidnas.

   Heaving a sigh of relief, Hidama looked at his gloves, stained with the blood of the mutants his knuckle-claws had killed.  He looked to Elianaron and said, “Hey, where’s Aranelion?  Is he okay?”

   Panic came to their eyes, as the two of them called for their companion.  They got no response, finding even their campfire had died down.  They called his name, growing increasingly frantic as they got no response.  Elianaron ran towards the lake, on the verge of the tears, crying his brother’s name, but was stopped by Hidama, who stepped in front of him.  He said, “I found him…he’s okay…but…he’s crying over something.  Come on.”

   The two went over to the edge of the shaded lake, and found their companion, surrounded by the bodies he had slain with the Akrenar.  A bloodied and bruised Hidama and Elianaron saw their companion bent over on his hands and knees, his head hanging low, as his tears fell to the ground. As they ran to his side, it became all too clear what ailed Aranelion so, crying on the verge of throwing up. On the ground below him, his hot tears fell on the shards and hilt of his now shattered sword, Akrenar, given to him by his father in a farewell letter as he lay dying after fighting side by side with Hidama's father, the night of the attack on the echidna clan, as they tried to protect the Master Emerald.

   Sick with grief, he rose as his partners sat beside him. Elianaron hugged him tightly, and said, “Oh Air, I promise, Akrenar will be reforged, and we’ll continue to fight as we always have.”

   Aranelion looked up with bloodshot eyes at his two friend, tears pouring from his eyes.  He sniffed multiple times before speaking, saying, “B-But Ell…this our…our dear father’s sword…shattered and broken in my hand.  I have shamed him, his precious and mighty sword is wasted in my hands.”

   Hidama was silent, but took this moment to look at his friend and say, “I promise you this Aranelion, you are as mighty, fierce and skilled as the most powerful of our warriors, and certainly do not put your father to shame, or Akrenar to ill use.  After the expert use of both you and your father in so many battles, dear Akrenar’s heart gave out.  As your brother said, do not fear, for it can be reforged and sing in battle as glorious as it always has and for many years to come.”

   Both brothers looked at Hidama, in awe of his powerful and caring words.  Elianaron nodded and said, “He’s right Aranelion; once we get to the next town, we’ll see what we can do as far as reforging the sword.  Everything will be alright.” Aranelion looked at his brother, and though he was comforted by the love of his brother and friend, he was still inconsolable as his sword lay broken beneath him.

   Out of love, Elianaron handed Twilight, one of his daggers, to Aranelion; and as the world around them was enveloped by the quiet of the night, Elianaron and Hidama comforted Aranelion as they remembered the deaths of their kin, trying their best to honor them as they rested on bended knee in the small lake under the cover of darkness and trees.

   As the twins slowly fell asleep, Hidama thought of his brother and nephew, and while the urge to set things right was great, Hidama was slowly being consumed by a growing misery in his heart, that if left ignored, threatened to consume his very soul, ripping him away from this world forever.  He remembered his visions from earlier, and that revelation rang loud and clear in his heart.  He would certainly never be granted the miracle of the love his brother Knuckles and Shadow were blessed to find, so unless he could find peace some other way, what point was there in fighting the pain anymore?  Wouldn’t it be better to let it consume him and get it over with?

   The following morning, they gathered up the shards and hilt of Akrenar, and started the rest of their trek across the barren, deserted plain.  Aranelion got his courage back, and everything was wonderful for them again.  They were traveling like they loved to do, but for Hidama, instead of things approaching a positive note, he was beginning to realize that perhaps the only way out of his pain, was death.

   Hidama’s heart was now a torrent of conflict, a longing to see his brother and nephew again, and the growing weariness that threatened to consume him, whether on its own, or influencing Hidama to make a desperate choice for relief.  This torrent of misery slowly began to strain things between Hidama and his friends.  They had only one more night left in this barren plain, and finally…things went awry, threatening to sever the little support Hidama had left.

   Exactly what stirred up the malcontent in Aranelion and Elianaron was never clear, but Hidama, on this night, refused to come to eat dinner, wanting instead to gaze at the stars, lost in thought, trying to find something to knock himself out of his painful, waking dreams.

   Out of concern for their friend, the twins tried to coax Hidama to the fire so he could eat something; this was where the trouble started, the spark that would ignite the flames of a fire that threatened to destroy at least one of them if left unchallenged.  Both twins took one of Hidama’s arms, trying to pull him up from his seat on the ground.  Hidama, of course, was being less than cooperative, his mind’s eye trapping him in waking nightmares of which were extremely hard to shake free from, at least on his own.

   Yet this particular dream stabbed at Hidama’s soul, putting him in pain; whether he imagined it or felt it for certain was unclear, even so, he mistook the hands of his friends as this unseen entity that was putting him in pain, and so he swatted at it blindly, perhaps mistaking it for the zapping pain of the chip Feldmort planted in his neck, which pained him for so long.

   He fist landed hard on Elianaron’s arm, knocking him away from Hidama and onto the ground.  It happened so fast, Aranelion was unsure what had hit his brother.  When he finally saw his brother clutching his bleeding arm, he realized it was, in fact, Hidama who had hit his brother as they tried to stand him on his feet.

   Hidama, coming out of his waking nightmare, finally realized what happened, but too late to defend himself, for Aranelion, who now knelt beside his brother, trying to comfort him, shouted at Hidama, “Gee whiz Hidama!  We were just trying to help you!  Dammit, why did you have to hit Elianaron!?  What the hell were you thinking!?”

   Now, Hidama was greatly upset by what had just happened, and at first was sure that once he explained to the twins what was happening to him that everything would be okay and they would move on.  However, this same misery that caused the nightmares that his mind’s eye made all too real for him and threatened to consume his soul, also fueled anger in Hidama’s heart.  He was furious with his friends for shouting at him when he knew they had no idea that kind of pain he was going through.  How dare they shout at him in this way, lacking any understanding of the pain that he had suffered for years now and still would not retreat.  He wasn’t going to let this go unpunished.

   “Oh shut up Aranelion!  Be thankful I don’t come beating on you too!  How dare you challenge me like that!  You have no idea the kind of pain I’ve been in, the pain that still ails me so!!  How…how DARE YOU!” he shouted.  Throwing his cries towards the skies, they echoed on for miles, almost like thunder rumbling through the air.  This frightened Aranelion and Elianaron to some degree, as they had never witnessed the intense and full ferocity of Hidama’s anger, hidden power that only he possessed, the same power that used for good could save lives, including his brother’s, and used out of rage, could destroy the very lives it was meant to save.

   Hidama didn’t wait for a response; he glared at them, and in an intense whisper said, “Well, I won’t take it…I won’t take you or your crap anymore!  How dare you infidels judge me…how dare you act like you know who I am or the pain I’m forced to suffer, including your useless and ill presence!  I won’t take it anymore!  You can just forget having me in your company anymore!  That way, I won’t be here to tick you off!  Goodbye and good riddance!”

   After this, Hidama stormed off, using his amazing speed to disappear into the night.  Aranelion stood up, shaken by what just happened, but still oblivious to how serious this all really was.  Turning to help his brother, he said, “Oh, Hidama’s just steamed…we’ll run into him tomorrow, maybe in the next town.  Humph, even if we don’t, who cares…he can take care of himself…he doesn’t need us.”

   Not giving Hidama a second thought, Aranelion went about helping his brother, cleaning his wound and bandaging it before they fell asleep.  What they didn’t know, was how badly Hidama did need them.  Now that he was alone, Hidama had only the whispers of the nightmares his mind’s eye played constantly in his head to torment him, coaxing him further and further to disaster.

   Slowing his pace to a stumble, Hidama fell to the ground, consumed by a torrent of tears, and a whirlwind of painful memories returned to plague him.  It was as if every one of his senses was doing everything in its power to hurt him.  He could smell the scent of death that lingered in Feldmort’s prisons; he once again could taste his own blood, as he did all too frequently after the merciless beatings; he again could hear the shrieking of the mutants, the taunts they would spit in his face as they beat him; visions of death and darkness as he saw them from his cold cell returned to his waking sight; worst of all, it seemed that every pinch or stab of pain that he endured those eight long years pulsated through his body all at once, and the dark and depressing thoughts that completed this trip to hell raced through his mind.

   He was responsible for the deaths of his kindred; he was the doomed guardian; he disobeyed his mother, dooming Knuckles to a life of misery and woe; he was wasting space, and didn’t even deserve to be alive; he was nothing but an inconvenience; it was thoughts like these that provided the final block on the truth, ripping away any courage, hope and strength he had left.

   Rising to his feet, his misery consumed him; what was the point of living anymore if there was no hope for relief?  He had already caused so much pain and suffering…his brother almost died because of him…if he hadn’t disobeyed his mother things would have been different.  Maybe…if he had never been born…the “doomed guardian”…maybe the echidna tribe would still be alive today.

   “That’s it isn’t it?  If I…had never been born, mother and father would be alive…and they would still have had Knuckles, and everything would have been okay.  I was named the doomed guardian by the village elders…their proclamation came true…I was the doom and death of them all.  Maybe…it’s about time I…I join them…before my doom and death consume Knuckles’ happiness as well,” Hidama said.

   It was the beginning of the end for Hidama; without the Brokenstar Twins to keep him in good spirits, to pull him out of this void that depression had over his soul, the frame of mind Hidama was in…threatened to help him carry out his mournful realization; that the only way out of his pain, and the suffering of others, was through his death alone.

Description
"The Unending Journey of the Heart"
By: Jade Lightning, a.k.a. Inuyashas-hanyougirl
Chapter 5: "Together They Stand, Divided They Fall"

   The newly formed Guardian Souls went on their way, and for the first couple of weeks, it was just the adventure the three of them had longed for together.  Traveling from north to south, east to west, and everywhere in between, like Sonic, they traveled wherever their hearts beckoned them to go, having many eventful days along the way.

   For starters, Hidama longed to return to the Northern Kingdom to visit his friends, Jacob and Olivia.  And thus the Guardian Souls made the trek northward, and after a little over a week after leaving Angel Island they made it to the boundaries of the great Northern Kingdom, tucked away in the high, Grey Mountains.  Upon arrival, Hidama gazed with wonder on the glorious kingdom, seeing that in the near six months that Jacob ruled as king, he had brought the Northern Kingdom, once brought to its knees, back to its former glory.

   Jacob had settled in to his position rather quickly, and upon seeing Hidama again, he welcomed the group with open arms.  It was a happy reunion, for both Jacob and Olivia, who now ruled the Kingdom side by side.

  On the third night of their stay in the Northern Kingdom, the group settled down for the night; while Aranelion and Elianaron slept soundly, Hidama paced the same halls he did the night he spoke with Shadow, who foretold of the unrest in Hidama’s heart.  This time, however, he was met with Jacob, who took up conversation with him.

   “Oh Hidama, it’s so nice to have you here again, and with your own team now to boot!  How are things on Angel Island?” Jacob asked.

   Hidama, who was leaning against the banister, gazing at the valley below, smiled weakly, and said, “You mean for me or them?”

   Jacob frowned, sensing the malcontent in Hidama’s voice.  Standing beside him, he said, “Gee Hidama, you sound like something’s got you down and in a big way…care to tell me what’s wrong?”

   The echidna looked at his friend, then back to the valley, sighing heavily; “That’s why I’m here Jacob; I was happy for a little while…but it turned out to be nothing but deceptive comfort; the dark years I spent in the mutant prison are not so quick to be erased, and the lasting pain is just as stubborn to leave my soul.  My brother, his son…his family, his happy life…it’s not enough to heal my wounded spirit, and set my aching heart free from this gnawing discomfort.  I have to search for my happiness…that’s why I’m here…I just hope that I’ll be soon to find it…for I hate terribly to be away from my family for long you see,” Hidama explained.

   It was silent between the two for a few moments.  Finally, Jacob broke the silence and said, “Gosh Hidama…I don’t know if running like this is going to be enough to cure this misery in your heart…it’ll just have to come to you with time.”

   “Just, I know what I’m doing Jacob okay!?  Please!” Hidama shouted.  Jacob’s eyes widened, and he backed away a few steps, lowering his eyes and looking away.  Hidama, not meaning to yell and upset his friend, walked up to him, kneeling down and hugging him tightly.  He said, “Oh Jacob, I’m so sorry.  It’s just…you’re right in some ways.  I don’t know how or where I’ll find what I seek…I just know that Angel Island isn’t where I’m going to find it.  That’s why I’m traveling with them, for I feel it in my heart…all I have to do is keep searching for my peace.  I know I’ll be guided to it someday, and this unrest in my heart finally dispelled.”

   The fox slowly hugged Hidama back, saying, “I—I know Hidama…it’s just…Olivia and I spent a long time in that prison too…and I can honestly say this, for the both of us, that we aren’t haunted anymore by these nightmares of the past.  I thought perhaps getting back to such a wonderful life on Angel Island would do it for you too…but I guess because you suffered longer, harder, and in a different way, you’re going to need something much greater to help heal your soul, and make those haunting memories go away for good.”

   Hidama backed out of their hug enough to look at Jacob’s face; studying it carefully, searching the depths of Jacob’s heart with his mind’s eye, he could see that Jacob indeed spoke the truth, perhaps for Olivia as well.  Any torturous memories, dark and cold nightmares from the years long past had left his heart; he was able to live his life freely and without a worry or care of miseries he once knew.  Hidama’s deepest wish was to be able to attain this same relief, so that he might escape his own troubles, the same way his brother had.

   Jacob became aware of Hidama looking at him, and his words broke Hidama’s gaze into the depths of his heart.  “Hey, Hidama, are you okay?  What you said…you’re right.  Knuckles found his peace after a long time, in an unexpected place, through his love for Amy…and he wasn’t even really searching for it…he just found it.  I know that you’ll find it too Hidama, you just have to keep trying, living your life as best you can, just like Knuckles did, and then…the source of true peace will find it’s way to your soul…I just know it.”

   The two looked at each other, again, silent for a moment.  Hidama’s eyes looked glassy, as if on the verge of tears, yet he didn’t cry, he smiled, hugging Jacob tightly.  He said, “I am just so overjoyed to know you and Olivia are doing so well for yourselves…and you have escaped the nightmares our years in Feldmort’s prisons ingrained on our hearts, our very essences, just as my brother is free from any unrest the miseries of his past burned into his soul.  You are wise Jacob, and you speak rightly; I know I’ll find my peace…because I have wonderful friends like you and the Brokenstar Twins to help me find my way from darkness to light.  I’m so grateful for your love and friendship.”

   Jacob returned the hug, and Hidama stood up, wiping the tears from his eyes and saying, “I’m also grateful for a warm meal; Aranelion and Elianaron still have a bit to learn about culinary skills in the wild.”  The two laughed at that, and Hidama continued, “I also appreciate the comfortable beds…you have no idea.”

   They both had a good laugh, and after the laughter died down, Hidama started walking down the hall, into the castle, and towards his sleeping chambers; turning to Jacob before they parted ways for the night, he said, “Thank you Jacob…not so much as for your hospitality, but for your friendship, and your wise and encouraging words.  It’s friends like you that keep my hope for peace alive.  I wish you and the Northern Kingdom all the happiness and prosperity in the world.”

   Hidama bowed low, and Jacob, though he was the king of the Northern Kingdom, bowed in response to Hidama, saying, “It’s nothing Hidama, really, oh great Guardian of the Master Emerald.”  As they both stood up, Jacob said, “Get some sleep Hidama…I believe your friends wanted to leave tomorrow, so you want to be well rested for the journey ahead.  I’ll have provisions prepared for your trip, so you’ll be all set for departure after breakfast tomorrow.  And do remember, you are always welcome in my kingdom, as echidnas always have been.”

   “And always will be apparently…heh, after barely two days those two want to run again,” Hidama replied.  He sighed and said, “Oh well, no stopping those two…traveling is their life, spare the few weeks they spend in Valordian with their mother.”  He smiled at Jacob once more, and said, “Goodnight Jacob, and again, I am indebted to you for your generosity and friendship.”

   The two friends parted ways after this, and Hidama eased into a slow, slightly restless sleep, as in his dreams, he thought only of his brother, his nephew, and Angel Island, as well as the long, uncertain journey that lay before him.

   That next morning, as anticipated, after breakfast, the Brokenstar Twins were eager to move on their way, claiming they never stayed in one place for much more than a week, whether they enjoyed the hospitality or not.  Infact they only stayed in Valordian, the home of their mother’s kindred, for more than a week at a time, and with Hidama in company, this proved to be no different.

   After their leave from the Northern Kingdom, their journey was marked by little more than crossing vast lengths of countryside, with only the quiet glory of the landscape to go with them along the way.  The group of friends talked about better times, when their fathers were still alive, and the glory of the echidna clan was yet to be decimated.  Of course, these were the years of their youth, back when they had just met, and the friendship between the Son of the Guardian and the hybrid twins began.

   Both Aranelion and Elianaron confessed that Hidama was still their best friend, one of few the twins had made, as their mother’s kindred still did their best to ignore them, unsure of them based on appearance alone, and the history of their mother’s affair with an echidna.  Elianaron went on to explain that to their mother’s kindred, the echidnas would forever remain a strange and elusive people, a race they knew little about, and even if they had the chance to meet them, would do their best to remove themselves from.

   There was no denying that at the time of their births, the echidnas were still known practically worldwide as the Master Race, having three distinct strains of kindred; The echidnas of Angel Island, the echidnas of the Northern Kingdom, and one final, little known race of echidnas that lived on the other side of the planet, far removed from the other lines, but no less powerful, as they had their own Master gem in their possession.  Still more echidnas once walked the earth, traveling between the homes of the ruling lines of kindred, and yet, all three echidna strains were all but wiped out by the mutant armies…even the few wandering echidnas met their end, and now, only Hidama, Knuckles, and the Brokenstar Twins lived to succeed them.

   Still, their mother’s race, and of course the whole of the world was in utter shock after the echidnas were attacked, and for many people the echidnas were still recognized as extinct, the few survivors there were going largely unnoticed, and many people still dying to find the location of the powerful Master Emerald, as well as the Master gem the final echidna strain possessed, as well as the enormous wealth of the echidnas of the Northern Kingdom.  Yet the echidnas had great power and spells that they used to protect themselves and their wealth, and it was this same power and magic that protected Knuckles and the Master Emerald after Angel Island fell out of the sky.  Though Angel Island was invaded, the little echidna and Master Emerald went undiscovered, and were thus given up for dead and gone.

   So in the years that followed, their mother’s kindred grew even more afraid of the small hybrid twins, convinced they were doomed to meet the same fate as their father, and thus the hedgehogs of Valordian feared for their own lives, terrified of the echidnas and this “curse” that spelled out their doom.  As they grew up, the hedgehogs of Valordian moved from ignoring them to fearing them.  Their strange markings and appearance only furthered their fears, and slowly, they began to treat the twins harshly.  It wasn’t just them, for their mother was frowned upon and hated as well, for her infidelity in conceiving children through an echidna.

   The boys loved their mother dearly, but also possessed the nobility and strength of their father’s kindred.  So at a very young age, having lost everything else, they decided to set out on their own, leave Valordian, so perhaps the hedgehogs would relax and stop treating their mother cruelly.  They trained with the weapons their father left them, the very sword and daggers he himself once wielded the night he was killed, Akrenar, and Tempest and Twilight.

   Bequeathing his weapons to his young sons as he died the night of the attack, Aranelion and Elianaron’s father left his sword, Akrenar, to Aranelion, the oldest of his twin sons, and the daggers, Tempest and Twilight, to Elianaron, the younger.  At the age of eight, they began to train with their father’s weapons, which only served to frighten the hedgehogs of Valordian even more, as they were a peace-loving people, and never fought, save to defend themselves.

   Elianaron went on to explain that one day before they turned twelve, the hatred became too much, when they were brutally attacked and threatened with death.  The boys were convinced it was because they were growing older, and for some reason the Valordian hedgehogs were beginning to fear them more and more as they got stronger.  So the twins decided come their twelfth birthday, it was time to leave Valordian, for their mother’s sake, and in turn seek to avenge the memory of their father, whom they had lost four years before.

   After making silent preparations for their journey, the brothers told their mother what they had to do, and tearfully, the twins left their mother, late on the night of their twelfth birthday.

   “Mother’s been alright since then,” Elianaron said as the group traveled.  “Like Aranelion and I supposed the villagers left her alone once we left Valordian.  She’s even made a few friends again, but still, like us, she struggles to find acceptance like she used to know.  Aranelion and I have searched for years, and the love and care of the echidnas has never been found in anyone, anywhere else, even though we have been welcomed with open arms by humans.  I believe it is something we shall never find again.”

   The group had been traveling for weeks now, with the Northern Kingdom many days and miles behind them.  As they had traveled, the Brokenstar twins recounted their lives over the past eight years, how they struggled to find acceptance, a place where they felt they truly belonged, as Valordian had brutally shunned and rejected them, leaving them with a life of solitary wandering as their only way to cope.  Hidama too recounted the night that the echidnas were attacked, and his years in Feldmort’s prisons.  The three were just glad they were together again, as they were best friends in their youth, and Aranelion and Elianaron found comfort in the loving acceptance of their friend, the last of the glorious race of the echidnas, their father’s kin, who offered them the only real love and acceptance they had ever known.

   So the weeks passed, and the group traveled together, not finding much of a need to fight, but finding enjoyment from their travels, seeing many places, visiting many towns, living off the hospitality of others, and at other times, purely off the land and their skills.  One night such as this occurred at the end of the first month of their journey; they were in the middle of a vast, treeless desert, covered with shrubbery and the occasional shaded lake or stream.  It was a shortcut they were taking, saving them a journey over large mountains, covered by a storm, with the next series of towns within a few days journey.

   It had grown dark, and the Guardian Souls made camp in one of these shaded lakes.  Elianaron was the chef of the group, and began to prepare dinner off of rations they retained from the last town they stayed in.  The elderly lady they stayed with was extra generous, giving them supplies, food and water for their journey across the desert, as there was hardly any other source of food to be found in this deserted plain.  Meanwhile, Aranelion polished Akrenar, and Hidama stood, leaned up against a tree, staring into the stars above.

   He was in different mind set than that of his friends; his wandering mind took its own course to the alternate reality of his waking dreams.  He had found little fulfillment in the weeks that passed; his heart felt sick, for he was beginning to deeply miss his brother, especially his little nephew Mikomi.  His heart beckoned him to return to Angel Island…and yet, his mind knew that Angel Island was nothing more than a hole for him to crawl into, which would shelter and nurse his broken spirit, but do nothing to cure it, and save it from a dark, and deadly end.  No, to go back now would be to give in to this growing darkness that was slowly swallowing his weeping heart whole…yet traveling away from it wasn’t solving things either.  Was this the fate of his tortured spirit?  Would he never find the end of his misery?  Shadow had…he found it in Rouge…; Knuckles had too, for he found it in Amy…was love the only answer?

   This seemingly sole solution to his pain only scared Hidama even more.  As he leaned against the tree, lost in thought, his mind’s eye began to overload his senses with hundreds of images, scenes that both Knuckles and Shadow had encountered in their lives, from beginning to end.  He cringed terribly as this happened, because this overload of images were more than just visual sensations; he could hear things, smell things, taste things…he could even feel the pain suffered by his brother and his friend, and every time he encountered pain, fear, suffering, hopelessness, cruelty, doubt…any negative feelings suffered were ultimately cured by love, when Amy and Rouge came to their rescue, and made all these painful memories melt away.

   At this point, Hidama wrestled with his mind’s eye for control, for another revelation came to him at this point; where in the world would he ever find love as Knuckles and Shadow had?  Both Amy and Rouge were perfect for the one they loved; Amy was Knuckles’ light and strength, a match made in heaven, for they could both offer each other what no one else could, such deep and pure romance that not even time could waste away.  Shadow and Rouge too had such a unique and understanding, trusting love.  Rouge understood Shadow’s suffering and supported him so much she promised she would never leave him, and because of this, Shadow opened up to her unlike he would for anyone else.  No matter how you looked at it, both Knuckles and Shadow went through a great deal of suffering, but ultimately were saved by a wonderful soul who loved them deeply, and promised they would always be their for them, until death took them both from this world, and in turn separated them from pain and misery for all eternity.

   But no, Hidama wasn’t this fortunate.  He wasn’t lucky like his brother Knuckles, or fortunate like Shadow, who had become a role model to him in place of his father, to have someone to love him.  At this point, Hidama was convinced something like this was impossible; what he was convinced of was this.  If he couldn’t find the cure to his broken spirit any other way, then inevitably he would go the way of his ancestors…maybe…the way he should have gone a long time ago, seeing as the world had no place for him anymore.

   “Hey Hidama!  Help us!” a voice shouted.

   Hidama finally wrestled control over his mind and came back to his senses.  When he opened his eyes, he saw Elianaron and Aranelion, weapons drawn, locked in a battle with these weird creatures…some estranged mutants of either Feldmort’s or Olermere’s, it didn’t matter.  What did matter, is these mutants, like the ones who attacked Hidama and Shadow in the woods several months ago, were now attacking Hidama and the Brokenstar Twins.

   It took him only a second to spring into action; as he ran to the aid of his friends, he caught the eye of half of the mutant soldiers, who recognized him as an echidna, and the hatred of their fellow soldiers was directed at Hidama as they ran to attack him.  In the seconds before they reached him, Hidama remembered the forgiveness he extended to King Olermere, and wished it didn’t come to more killing and bloodshed, but seeing as his friends were in danger, he knew there was no other choice.

   Hidama thrust his fists into his enemies, taking them out one by one.  At first the group of about thirty or so was overwhelming for the Guardian Souls, but Elianaron ran to help Hidama, and they quickly gained control of the battle.  After taking out the group that surged on Hidama, the cries died down.

   Elianaron sheathed Tempest, and wiping his forehead, adjusting his headband as he did so, he said, “Phew…I guess some of Feldmort and Olermere’s minions are still around.  Seems to me they weren’t as held together as they liked to make us think.  That was some battle though, I love it.”  Elianaron was grinning ear to ear, knowing he just slaughtered some of the same mutants that were involved in the death of his father and the echidnas.

   Heaving a sigh of relief, Hidama looked at his gloves, stained with the blood of the mutants his knuckle-claws had killed.  He looked to Elianaron and said, “Hey, where’s Aranelion?  Is he okay?”

   Panic came to their eyes, as the two of them called for their companion.  They got no response, finding even their campfire had died down.  They called his name, growing increasingly frantic as they got no response.  Elianaron ran towards the lake, on the verge of the tears, crying his brother’s name, but was stopped by Hidama, who stepped in front of him.  He said, “I found him…he’s okay…but…he’s crying over something.  Come on.”

   The two went over to the edge of the shaded lake, and found their companion, surrounded by the bodies he had slain with the Akrenar.  A bloodied and bruised Hidama and Elianaron saw their companion bent over on his hands and knees, his head hanging low, as his tears fell to the ground. As they ran to his side, it became all too clear what ailed Aranelion so, crying on the verge of throwing up. On the ground below him, his hot tears fell on the shards and hilt of his now shattered sword, Akrenar, given to him by his father in a farewell letter as he lay dying after fighting side by side with Hidama's father, the night of the attack on the echidna clan, as they tried to protect the Master Emerald.

   Sick with grief, he rose as his partners sat beside him. Elianaron hugged him tightly, and said, “Oh Air, I promise, Akrenar will be reforged, and we’ll continue to fight as we always have.”

   Aranelion looked up with bloodshot eyes at his two friend, tears pouring from his eyes.  He sniffed multiple times before speaking, saying, “B-But Ell…this our…our dear father’s sword…shattered and broken in my hand.  I have shamed him, his precious and mighty sword is wasted in my hands.”

   Hidama was silent, but took this moment to look at his friend and say, “I promise you this Aranelion, you are as mighty, fierce and skilled as the most powerful of our warriors, and certainly do not put your father to shame, or Akrenar to ill use.  After the expert use of both you and your father in so many battles, dear Akrenar’s heart gave out.  As your brother said, do not fear, for it can be reforged and sing in battle as glorious as it always has and for many years to come.”

   Both brothers looked at Hidama, in awe of his powerful and caring words.  Elianaron nodded and said, “He’s right Aranelion; once we get to the next town, we’ll see what we can do as far as reforging the sword.  Everything will be alright.” Aranelion looked at his brother, and though he was comforted by the love of his brother and friend, he was still inconsolable as his sword lay broken beneath him.

   Out of love, Elianaron handed Twilight, one of his daggers, to Aranelion; and as the world around them was enveloped by the quiet of the night, Elianaron and Hidama comforted Aranelion as they remembered the deaths of their kin, trying their best to honor them as they rested on bended knee in the small lake under the cover of darkness and trees.

   As the twins slowly fell asleep, Hidama thought of his brother and nephew, and while the urge to set things right was great, Hidama was slowly being consumed by a growing misery in his heart, that if left ignored, threatened to consume his very soul, ripping him away from this world forever.  He remembered his visions from earlier, and that revelation rang loud and clear in his heart.  He would certainly never be granted the miracle of the love his brother Knuckles and Shadow were blessed to find, so unless he could find peace some other way, what point was there in fighting the pain anymore?  Wouldn’t it be better to let it consume him and get it over with?

   The following morning, they gathered up the shards and hilt of Akrenar, and started the rest of their trek across the barren, deserted plain.  Aranelion got his courage back, and everything was wonderful for them again.  They were traveling like they loved to do, but for Hidama, instead of things approaching a positive note, he was beginning to realize that perhaps the only way out of his pain, was death.

   Hidama’s heart was now a torrent of conflict, a longing to see his brother and nephew again, and the growing weariness that threatened to consume him, whether on its own, or influencing Hidama to make a desperate choice for relief.  This torrent of misery slowly began to strain things between Hidama and his friends.  They had only one more night left in this barren plain, and finally…things went awry, threatening to sever the little support Hidama had left.

   Exactly what stirred up the malcontent in Aranelion and Elianaron was never clear, but Hidama, on this night, refused to come to eat dinner, wanting instead to gaze at the stars, lost in thought, trying to find something to knock himself out of his painful, waking dreams.

   Out of concern for their friend, the twins tried to coax Hidama to the fire so he could eat something; this was where the trouble started, the spark that would ignite the flames of a fire that threatened to destroy at least one of them if left unchallenged.  Both twins took one of Hidama’s arms, trying to pull him up from his seat on the ground.  Hidama, of course, was being less than cooperative, his mind’s eye trapping him in waking nightmares of which were extremely hard to shake free from, at least on his own.

   Yet this particular dream stabbed at Hidama’s soul, putting him in pain; whether he imagined it or felt it for certain was unclear, even so, he mistook the hands of his friends as this unseen entity that was putting him in pain, and so he swatted at it blindly, perhaps mistaking it for the zapping pain of the chip Feldmort planted in his neck, which pained him for so long.

   He fist landed hard on Elianaron’s arm, knocking him away from Hidama and onto the ground.  It happened so fast, Aranelion was unsure what had hit his brother.  When he finally saw his brother clutching his bleeding arm, he realized it was, in fact, Hidama who had hit his brother as they tried to stand him on his feet.

   Hidama, coming out of his waking nightmare, finally realized what happened, but too late to defend himself, for Aranelion, who now knelt beside his brother, trying to comfort him, shouted at Hidama, “Gee whiz Hidama!  We were just trying to help you!  Dammit, why did you have to hit Elianaron!?  What the hell were you thinking!?”

   Now, Hidama was greatly upset by what had just happened, and at first was sure that once he explained to the twins what was happening to him that everything would be okay and they would move on.  However, this same misery that caused the nightmares that his mind’s eye made all too real for him and threatened to consume his soul, also fueled anger in Hidama’s heart.  He was furious with his friends for shouting at him when he knew they had no idea that kind of pain he was going through.  How dare they shout at him in this way, lacking any understanding of the pain that he had suffered for years now and still would not retreat.  He wasn’t going to let this go unpunished.

   “Oh shut up Aranelion!  Be thankful I don’t come beating on you too!  How dare you challenge me like that!  You have no idea the kind of pain I’ve been in, the pain that still ails me so!!  How…how DARE YOU!” he shouted.  Throwing his cries towards the skies, they echoed on for miles, almost like thunder rumbling through the air.  This frightened Aranelion and Elianaron to some degree, as they had never witnessed the intense and full ferocity of Hidama’s anger, hidden power that only he possessed, the same power that used for good could save lives, including his brother’s, and used out of rage, could destroy the very lives it was meant to save.

   Hidama didn’t wait for a response; he glared at them, and in an intense whisper said, “Well, I won’t take it…I won’t take you or your crap anymore!  How dare you infidels judge me…how dare you act like you know who I am or the pain I’m forced to suffer, including your useless and ill presence!  I won’t take it anymore!  You can just forget having me in your company anymore!  That way, I won’t be here to tick you off!  Goodbye and good riddance!”

   After this, Hidama stormed off, using his amazing speed to disappear into the night.  Aranelion stood up, shaken by what just happened, but still oblivious to how serious this all really was.  Turning to help his brother, he said, “Oh, Hidama’s just steamed…we’ll run into him tomorrow, maybe in the next town.  Humph, even if we don’t, who cares…he can take care of himself…he doesn’t need us.”

   Not giving Hidama a second thought, Aranelion went about helping his brother, cleaning his wound and bandaging it before they fell asleep.  What they didn’t know, was how badly Hidama did need them.  Now that he was alone, Hidama had only the whispers of the nightmares his mind’s eye played constantly in his head to torment him, coaxing him further and further to disaster.

   Slowing his pace to a stumble, Hidama fell to the ground, consumed by a torrent of tears, and a whirlwind of painful memories returned to plague him.  It was as if every one of his senses was doing everything in its power to hurt him.  He could smell the scent of death that lingered in Feldmort’s prisons; he once again could taste his own blood, as he did all too frequently after the merciless beatings; he again could hear the shrieking of the mutants, the taunts they would spit in his face as they beat him; visions of death and darkness as he saw them from his cold cell returned to his waking sight; worst of all, it seemed that every pinch or stab of pain that he endured those eight long years pulsated through his body all at once, and the dark and depressing thoughts that completed this trip to hell raced through his mind.

   He was responsible for the deaths of his kindred; he was the doomed guardian; he disobeyed his mother, dooming Knuckles to a life of misery and woe; he was wasting space, and didn’t even deserve to be alive; he was nothing but an inconvenience; it was thoughts like these that provided the final block on the truth, ripping away any courage, hope and strength he had left.

   Rising to his feet, his misery consumed him; what was the point of living anymore if there was no hope for relief?  He had already caused so much pain and suffering…his brother almost died because of him…if he hadn’t disobeyed his mother things would have been different.  Maybe…if he had never been born…the “doomed guardian”…maybe the echidna tribe would still be alive today.

   “That’s it isn’t it?  If I…had never been born, mother and father would be alive…and they would still have had Knuckles, and everything would have been okay.  I was named the doomed guardian by the village elders…their proclamation came true…I was the doom and death of them all.  Maybe…it’s about time I…I join them…before my doom and death consume Knuckles’ happiness as well,” Hidama said.

   It was the beginning of the end for Hidama; without the Brokenstar Twins to keep him in good spirits, to pull him out of this void that depression had over his soul, the frame of mind Hidama was in…threatened to help him carry out his mournful realization; that the only way out of his pain, and the suffering of others, was through his death alone.