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"Two True Loves"
By: Jade Lightning, a.k.a. Inuyashas-hanyougirl
Chapter 9: Life Choices

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   Rain began to fall that early evening.  Bill could hear it tapping at the window pane as it fell, providing a soothing alternative to the chaotic noise of the ER for his ears to listen to.  He had never been fond of hospitals.  He wasn’t actually afraid of them; they just made him uneasy.

   It was just one of those things about him that he had never told anyone, except for Camille.  Over the past few weeks the two of them grew closer and closer, and at times he found himself willingly telling her these secrets, willingly to the point that he didn’t consider them secrets anymore, at least ones that he felt the need to keep from her.  He’d never share these sides of himself with anyone else, but Camille, she was different.

   He knew she’d never hold any of these things against him.  He knew that no matter what happened to them that he’d never regret telling her such things, including his weaknesses.  Bill was positive that there would never come a day that Camille would exploit these weaknesses to hurt him.  He trusted her; he trusted the love they shared.

   And here it was; their relationship, barely a month old, was being tested in the most serious way imaginable.

   He opened his eyes.  He was still in that room with her.  The rain was getting heavier; a roll of thunder in the distance took little time following the lightning flash.  The storm was now upon them, almost as if it was trying to provide accompaniment to the ongoing situation surrounding them.

   But it didn’t feel like a storm.  Bill didn’t know exactly what he was feeling right now.  He glanced at Camille as she slept, taking note of the bandages on her face, the stitches above her brow, and the shaky frown on her face as she slept half curled in a ball on the bed.  He felt anger bring new life to his senses, senses that had dulled out as he was depressed.  And yet it didn’t last long.

   He paused; he knew Jeff was gone.  As much as he hated Jeff, he was gracious for Jeff’s anger and his desire to bring hurt to Camille.  Because of that anger and hatred, he willingly told everyone in that library, including a police officer, exactly what he had done to Camille, and when and where he had done it.  That anger that festered in Jeff’s heart had also led him to attack Camille when she kept her silence.  Though Camille had suffered terribly, everything he had done meant he was gone forever.  There’d be no trial.  Just a sentencing, and he would be locked away for a long time.

   The anger faded.  It disappeared as Bill expelled a slow breath, giving way to a sigh, as the thunder rolled again, louder this time.

   He cringed.  Glancing at the window, he could barely make out the neighboring buildings as water rushed down the glass, blurring the view.  He rubbed the back of his neck as if it pained him, before getting up and pulling the curtains together.  He was tired of the storm.  The rain was comforting; the turbulent nature of the howling wind, thunder, and lightning was not.

   But the rain…he knew Camille liked rain.  One afternoon they spent together was washed out by the early arrival of spring showers.  They spent that afternoon talking as they often did.  Bill revealed more of his heart to her, and she shared more of hers with him.  A smile crept to Bill’s face as he thought of everything they had shared, everything they had in common…the dreams they wanted to fulfill.

   And yet, she had kept one, no…two, very painful secrets to herself.

   All because she didn’t want him to self destruct.   All because…she loved him.

   He sat back down.  He didn’t know what he felt more, sickness or sadness.  He lowered his head, cradling his face with his hands.   He felt confused.  He had to sort everything out.  He wouldn’t be any help to Camille when she awoke if he was in as terrible a state as he was now.

   “I…I don’t understand…,” he whispered to himself.  He glanced up at her, his stomach still feeling sick, and continued softly, “You wanted to…protect me?  You were willing to stand up to him…and not say a word, about how…he hurt you; how, he violated you; how…he broke you.  You stood up to him, just so he couldn’t have the pleasure of breaking us both…so I wouldn’t…go over the edge.  All this…because you love me?  How?  How could you do it Camille…and, why?”

   He fell silent, watching her breathe, wanting an answer, but at the same time wanting her to rest and sleep off the pain ravaging her body and spirit.  Letting out a sigh, he lowered his eyes again and muttered, “Oh give it up Bill Hampton.  She stood up to Jeff for the same reason you were ready to chase him down and beat him within an inch of his life.  The love I feel for her…she really…she feels the same for me.”

   That only brought Bill a little comfort.  He understood Camille’s actions because of how much she loved him; he understood how much she loved him, because he knew how much he loved her.  That love they shared was strong…strong enough to push them to do things for each other that they’d do for no one else, even at an age where most would assume their love was weak, superficial at best, something that wouldn’t last.

   Bill wasn’t afraid of anything when it came to helping Camille.  So desperate was he to bring her justice that afternoon, he didn’t even think of the consequences as he prepared to charge Jeff.  Had his friends not stepped up bravely to hold him back, both he and Jeff would be sitting together at the police headquarters downtown.

   Still…that was blind rage.  None would blame him for it.  It was just another sign of how much he cared for her.  The cuts and bruises on Camille’s body, showed just how much she cared for him.

   Jeff was gone.  That struggle was over.  A new one had presented itself to them.

   Such a big issue, in the smallest of sizes, in the most innocent of forms.

   He looked up at her once again, slowly.  As his vision crept above his fingertips, he could again see her lying there, still recovering from everything.  He knew somehow she’d get better and move on from this, but there was one thing that wouldn’t go away, and would be a part of her life forever.

   It was already a part of her, even if it hadn’t made itself so well known yet.

   It would with time.

   Finally, Bill thought about it.  The words he exchanged with the nurse returned to his thoughts.  He said he wouldn’t leave her any time soon…that nothing would break them apart.  He meant it then, and he felt it now.

   But wait, something was wrong.  Wasn’t he supposed to feel pressured by what all this meant to the point that he would take whatever escape from it that he had?

   That was what everyone expected.  The nurse said it, no doubt others wondered the same thing.

   As sad as everyone was about what had happened, Bill could guess that a large number of his peers, even his friends, had already begun to wonder how much longer the couple would stay together.  Maybe some thought the shock and the pain would keep them together, long enough for Bill to help Camille back to full strength.  He knew by now the word that Camille was pregnant had leaked to everyone in the school.  He knew that the ones that weren’t waiting for them to break up, were forming thoughts that perhaps it wasn’t Jeff’s child after all, and that Bill and Camille had gotten closer than they had suspected.

   Maybe they weren’t as perfect as everyone thought.

   “Argh, that’s enough!” Bill cried in a pained whisper.  He held his head in anguish, pulling on the roots of his hair, cringing as his head began to hurt.  He relaxed a little, sinking lower into his chair as he whispered, “I don’t feel like that at all.  Sure, maybe I’m not grasping exactly what all this means yet…but…I—I refuse to let her go!  Stereotypical opinions don’t mean a thing!  I love her!  This isn’t the end!”

   Then, he felt it.  Tears were creeping into his eyes again.  It wasn’t fair.  Just because he was a teenager, everyone was already assuming he was going to throw Camille away.  He was angry.  How dare anyone compare their love to common, fake, trashy relationships that never lasted longer than a year.  Sure, he had only dated her seriously for a month, but he had loved her for years.  She was his first friend, the only person he truly trusted with everything he was.  He couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone the same, and he couldn’t let her go.

   He knew it would mean making a choice, and yet it wasn’t a choice that he had to think about.

   “Sure…I’m…I’m not sure what’s going to happen, no one is,” Bill whispered, drying his tears, “Camille’s going to change.  In eight month’s time, she’ll be a mother, and for that reason people think I’m going to abandon her.  To do that, would bring shame on my shoulders.  For somebody to make such a heartless choice…I can’t see how they’re human.”

   He paused, glancing at Camille again.  The thunder was getting softer, though the rain hadn’t let up.  Taking a breath, he continued, “No, I shouldn’t say that.  People like that are human, they’re just…weak.  Their love isn’t strong.  They aren’t willing to do things for each other like Camille and I are.  They don’t have dreams at night of getting married…having children, building a life together before dying and spending eternity with each other and their creator.  I’ve already planned my entire life to be lived with her in it.  I’m not…going to give up on her, or my dreams, just because things are getting started a little earlier than we planned.”

   Lowering his eyes, he whispered, “She told me once that she felt the same way about it all that I do.  That was her heart speaking.  I know when she wakes up, she may try to talk me out of it for my sake, but I’ll remind her that we made a promise to each other, and that this isn’t going to do anything towards breaking it.”

   For a moment, Bill felt a veil of calm fall down around him.  As he took a breath, he felt relaxed.  He knew now that no matter how the coming days progressed that he wouldn’t leave Camille, nor would he let her give up on their love for the sake of protecting him.  He gave her his heart, she gave him hers in return, and he wouldn’t let either of their hearts break.

   This was a struggle they would take on together.

   There was no question, and thus, there were no more to answer.

   All the fears subsided in response to that one truth.

   Bill closed his eyes, cradling his head facedown in his hands, trying to get his breath back, and stave off the tears one last time.  He didn’t notice Camille begin to stir on the bed.  As she woke from sleep, she felt the pain from this latest beating from Jeff ravage her body for a moment, but it quickly dulled, dissipated by medication being pumped into her blood through one of the IVs.  With the pain numbed, she slowly opened her eyes.  For whatever reason, there was much more sand holding the lids together than normal.

   Her vision was blurry, but she knew immediately that somebody was sitting in the room with her, right beside her bed.  When she spotted dirty blond locks draped over the shoulders, she knew instantly who it was.

   Bill.

   She could start to see him a little better.  He was still holding his face in his hands, sitting there almost completely frozen.  She could see his shoulders rise up and down as he tried to relax himself with deep breaths.  Somehow she knew the rape was no longer a secret.  Somehow, she knew things would never be the same again.

   Her heart sank.  She wondered again if she would have to let Bill go.  It was the last thing she wanted, but she would do whatever she had to, to make sure he was happy.  She would take the punishment for his good.

   If only she knew what they were really up against.

   She would very soon.

   Wincing a bit, a yawn escaped her as she moved around, trying to get comfortable.  It was enough to get Bill’s attention, causing him to look up when he heard the sounds.  A fragile glimmer of hope sparkled in his brown eyes.  All the joy he felt at seeing her awake and moving, was nearly eclipsed by the trials that had presented themselves to him in these few hours.  Still, he smiled.  Leaning forward, he placed his hand on her brow, stroking the few bangs that had escaped being wrapped up in a bandage on her head.

   When she felt this, she opened her eyes again, finally finding a comfortable position.  The smile on his face tried to comfort her; the glassy look about his eyes, made her uneasy.

   “Hey…are you alright Camille?” he asked.  His voice was soft and out of breath.

   She closed her eyes briefly as his fingers brushed over her skin.  His touch was so comforting.  It made her forget the pain of Jeff’s fists pounding on the same area only hours before.

   “I—I think so…,” she replied.  Her voice was tired and laced with stress, a reminder of the pain she had experienced.  “Whatever they’re giving me…it’s numbing the pain,” she continued.

   Bill cringed.  He noticed the lack of an IV giving her blood.  He was both relieved and angered at the same time, remembering the nurse stating that the anemia was Camille’s biggest issue.  He raised his free hand to his head, feeling a headache coming on.  He muttered, “They tell me she’s anemic, and they aren’t giving her any blood?  Sure, not all anemia is that bad, but…ugh…” He fell silent, growling softly as his mind flashed images of Jeff talking about all the blood he spilt through his head.

   Anemia?  “I’m…I’m anemic?” Camille asked.

   He opened his eyes.  The strong smile fought its way back.  Stroking her hand as he held it, he nodded gently and replied, “Yes Camille.  It was…pretty bad, what he did to you today…that coupled with what happened a few weeks ago…”

   Camille felt her heart skip a beat and fall into her stomach.  “He…he told you,” she whispered, lowering her eyes.

   “Don’t you do that,” Bill said, his voice suddenly strong again, “You have nothing to be ashamed of, you hear me?  He’s a bastard, and since he was stupid enough to confess to everything, we won’t have to worry about fighting him in a trial.  Heh, he said it in front of about twenty people, including three teachers, the librarian, the school nurse, and the SRO officer.  I’m glad he was such a stupid idiot…the last thing you should have to worry about is a trial.  He’s gone now.”

   She continued to stare at his hand as he held hers in it.  She noticed the indentations on his palm, still relatively red, from where he dug his nails into them in his anger.  She ran her finger over the wounds, having to use all of her strength even for such a simple task.  He looked down at her as she did this, not giving much notice to the wounds until now, completely ignorant of the pain.

   “How…did this happen?” she asked, taking deep breaths.

   He stared at them for a moment, almost as if he had to struggle to remember what happened.  He remembered clenching his fists so hard he was afraid he’d break his hands, but he hadn’t thought about what his nails might have done to his skin.  He wondered now if he had gotten blood on his steering wheel.

   “I uh…,” he started, trying to collect his thoughts, “Peter and I heard you cry out, and we ran to the library.  Jeff had punched Joey in the face, and had thrown Gary into some bookshelves, knocking them over like dominoes.  I ran in and pulled him off of you, flung him to the ground, and demanded him to explain himself.  The SRO officer, teachers, the nurse…everyone got there and pulled us apart, and eventually he told me everything.  He taunted both of us the entire time, talking about how we both sucked, and I just…I guess I was so angry I dug my fingernails into my palms and didn’t think about it.  I was…too worried about you.”

   Camille’s eyes widened as much as they could in this fatigued state.  “Joey?  Is he alright?  I just…all I remember was Jeff hitting me.  I don’t remember anything else,” she explained.

   Bill let go of her hand and caressed her brow again, “It’s okay Camille.  Joey’s got a broken nose, but he’ll be alright.  Joey’s not nearly as important as you are, but, damn, that idiot had to go and hurt one of my friends too, and I love Joey like a brother.  I was so desperate to hurt him…Peter and Joey had to hold me back.”

   “Oh dear…,” Camille whimpered, looking at the sleeve of his jacket, “Joey’s hands must have had blood on them when he held on to you.”

   “Huh?” Bill asked.  Glancing at the arm of his jacket, he finally saw the stains left by the blood on Joey’s hands.  He closed his eyes for a brief moment, and almost like a movie reel, he saw the events of that afternoon replay themselves, only now he could finally grasp what was going on, when earlier he was consumed by rage.  Joey had grabbed his right arm and struggled with all of his strength to restrain his best friend.  Peter had done the same.  Both of his friends had to fight with all they had to hold him back, and thankfully, it was enough.

   He opened his eyes again.  He saw Camille still gazing at him with worried eyes.  “I’ve never…been so angry before in my life,” Bill whispered, speaking slowly.  He stared at her for a moment or two, almost as if wondering how to continue.  He got up from his chair and knelt down beside her bed, continuing to hold her hand, rubbing it gently as he spoke again.  “Seeing him beat you was bad enough.  Hearing what he did to you the moment I was out of the picture was the last straw.  Watching him laugh, enjoying your pain so much that jail time was a perfectly legit trade off…it took the knife thrown into my heart and just twisted it.  I wanted to crush him.  I lost myself, and if it weren’t for Peter and Joey, I would have charged him and beaten him within an inch of his life.  Still, that’ll never be enough to punish him.  There’s no sentence in the world that can make him suffer enough in my eyes.  Nothing…nothing can explain…why.”

   When his voice got softer with each word and at last he fell silent, Camille could sense something else weighing down on Bill’s heart.  “I—I’m glad you didn’t attack him Bill,” she whispered, “You would have only lowered yourself to his level, and you’re so much better than that.”

   “I know,” he said, returning his eyes to her face.  “I still wanted justice.”

   She yawned again, more worn out and weak than tired.  “You’ve gotten justice.  You said so yourself,” she replied.

   Bill closed his eyes again.  How could he ever tell her that there was no such thing as justice for what else Jeff had done.

   “No Camille, I haven’t…and neither have you.  You—you never will,” Bill whispered, unable to look at her as he spoke.

   That was it.  She knew something was seriously wrong.

   “It’s the rape, isn’t it?” Camille asked.

   He looked to her, unable to answer.

   She tried her best to sit up a little higher.  Though he was speechless for the moment, Bill helped her, supporting her as she moved, letting her grip his strong arm.  Once she was comfortable again, a small smile curled her lips, confusing Bill.

   Shaking her head as best she could, Camille replied, “I see it in your eyes Bill.  Where I normally see love and happiness, I see anger, but that anger is far eclipsed by sadness, and fear.”  The smile faded, and her eyes drifted to the floor.  “What has he done to me?  Perhaps there’s another explanation for why he was so willing to confess,” she continued.

   “No!  It’s nothing like that!” Bill cried in a pained whisper, causing her to look at him.  He calmed down.  “It’s not AIDS or anything like that,” he added, “Besides, if he had it, we’d have known by now.  All athletes have to have their blood tested twice each season remember?  The second time was back in January, and I know for a fact I didn’t hear about anybody with any STDs.  That’s not…what it is.”

   Camille expected the fear to fade away once she heard that.  However, it only clung to her heart harder.

   “What…what did he do?” Camille asked.

   Bill felt his heart begin to break.  How was he supposed to tell her?

   He lowered his eyes.  “Maybe you should rest right now Camille.  We can talk about it later, when you’re feeling stronger,” he whispered.

   She stared at him.  Though he was looking away from her, she could see a tear build up in the corner of his eye.

   In that moment, she understood.

   With her other hand, she summoned all the strength she had to reach for Bill.  Her fingers brushed across his cheek for only a second before her arm went weak and fell down to the support of the bed.  Bill quickly looked back at her, tears returned to his eyes, filled with anguish at what just happened.

   “Camille?” he whimpered.  He pulled the chair close to the bed again so he could sit up a bit higher.  He took both of her hands in his own, and though he tried to smile, he found he couldn’t.  He wanted to comfort her.  He wanted to tell her everything was alright.  He couldn’t find it in him.  He had not the strength to speak to her her fate.  He could barely do his best to comfort her.

   She felt so weak.  She felt she could no longer keep her eyes open, even though she knew she wasn’t ready for sleep.  Still, she couldn’t let Bill sit there and weep, even though she knew there wasn’t much she could do to stop that from happening, especially if she had read his heart correctly.

   Especially if, her gut feeling was indeed true.

   She tightened her grip on Bill’s hand as much as she could, which was only barely enough for him to notice a change.  He couldn’t look at her.  He knew she was waiting for him to speak, and he couldn’t bear to speak, no matter what was said.

   That is, unless, Camille spoke first.

   “Bill…am I…am I…pregnant?” she asked, speaking so softly.

   A rush of pain flew through Bill’s body, choking his heart.  He glanced at her for only a moment.  He couldn’t take it.  He cringed sharply, clenching his eyes together tightly, but not enough to keep a flood of tears from bursting through the lids.  He frowned, clenching his teeth in pain as he looked away from her.  He took one of his hands back from her, using it to hold his face and cradle his head, crying as though he would never smile again.

   That was enough of an answer for Camille.

   As she maintained her weak hold on Bill’s other hand, she stared at him for a minute, watching him as he wept, before her eyes drifted away, trying to find the most boring piece of wall that she could look at in order to lose herself in the gaze.

   Somehow, she wasn’t really surprised.  She realized now that her period was late; even though it wasn’t exactly regular, it was still overdue.  She understood why that sickness continued to plague her, even as it eased up in intensity and had started to fade.  Now she understood the pain behind Bill’s tears.

   He was in agony because this would ultimately tear them apart.  She just knew it.  Bill needed to move on with his own life.  He didn’t need Camille to hold him back anymore, or this baby.

   “Bill…I’m…I’m sorry,” she whispered.

   Did he hear right?  Did she just say that she was sorry?

   His eyes stung terribly as he opened them, quickly looking back to her when she spoke.  She continued to stare at that blank piece of wall, unsure of what else to do.  He reached for her, gently stroking the first strands of hair his fingers touched, barely brushing over the skin beneath as he did so.  She didn’t look back to him, and simply expelled a long and labored breath.

   “You’re sorry?” he asked, struggling for strength to speak with, “Camille, what the hell do you have to be sorry for?  None of this is your fault!  I won’t let you do this!”

   “No, no, that’s not what I mean,” Camille whispered.  She cut off her words as though she had more to say, but simply didn’t have the strength to do so.

   He slowly stopped crying.  He took his hand back for a moment in order to dry his eyes.  “Why are you sorry then?” he asked.

   Camille felt as though she’d die from having no strength left.  She could barely move or breathe.

   “Because…I know this means…it’s over,” she whispered.

   She took as deep a breath as she could after this.  It was impossible to tell whether she was doing it to stave off crying, or to try and hide her pain.

   Bill was rocked to his core.  He had to resist gripping Camille’s dainty hand when he heard her speak.  Did she actually have the same mindset that that nurse did; the same mindset that no doubt everyone around him did?  Did she actually think that he could break himself away from her?  Didn’t she realize that he couldn’t live without her?  She was the reason he breathed; she held the other half of his heart; she was the girl he wanted to marry.  In Camille, he had found the mother of his children.

   Before now he was so sure that she understood his heart.  Then he realized that perhaps she did understand it, but for his sake she would give him the chance to chase new dreams.

   He simply had to remind her that he had no desire to stray from the path he was on, no matter how rocky the terrain.

   He got up and bent over her, leaning down and gently kissing her on the head near her ear.  As he was sitting back down, she looked to him, exhausted, but somewhat confused.  She wondered if maybe his heart was weakened and was clinging desperately to her for strength.

   “Please Bill, you think it’ll be hard to let go, but it’ll be for the…”

   “Shh,” he replied, holding a finger to his lips.  He shook his head, a weak smile curling his lips as he spoke.  “You silly girl, you’ve forgotten what I told you that one day that we spent at the beach.  I told you I had found the girl I wanted to be with forever.  Do you honestly think I didn’t mean it?”

   She gazed at him, tears flirting with her eyelids.  “Sure you meant it.  You meant it then, before all of this happened and everything changed.  How in the world could you mean it now?  How could you mean it when it’ll mean not being able to take it slow; when it means all of your dreams have to take a back seat to reality; when it means, nothing will ever be the same?” she whimpered.

   Though tears still fell from his eyes, Bill smiled.  He could feel love overflowing his heart, chasing away the pain, the fears, and the uncertainty.  “I meant it forever,” Bill replied, his voice shaky but secure.  “You love me Camille, and I know how much, because I know how much I love you.  Both of us were willing to go to desperate lengths just for the sake of the other, but that’s over now.”  He paused, gazing at her for a moment.  He reached forward and wiped the tears from her eyes before they could fall and stain her face.  “You can call me stupid,” he added, “You can tell me you’ll leave me on your own.  You can say or do whatever you will to get rid of me, but I won’t let you, because I know in your heart it isn’t what you really want, even if at the same time you’d do it because you want me to be happy.”

   “Bill,” she whimpered, “This isn’t what you want.  Please, don’t say it.  I’ll…I’ll be alright on my own…”

   “You liar,” Bill replied, smiling, “I’m already aware of your living conditions Camille.  I’m not going to let you go back to that house and try to have that baby alone, without your mother and an apathetic father who only keeps you around for a paycheck.”

   Camille let out as strong a gasp as she could manage.  “Who told you?”

   He stroked her brow again.  “It’s okay Camille.  When neither of your parents got here, but everyone else did, we all just sort of…figured it out,” he replied.  Taking a breath, he continued, “I want to find out how attached he is to you.  I want to see if maybe…he’ll let you stay with me.”

   She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

   “Bill…how could you…”

   “No, stop Camille, let me finish,” Bill said, his voice a bit firmer.  “I don’t want to get tough, but I want you to stop thinking about what’s best for me, and think about what you want for once.  I want you to look at yourself through my eyes.  I want you to love yourself with my heart, because if you loved yourself as much as I do, even if you wanted me to think about it, you’d accept it, and wouldn’t fight it because you think I deserve better and that you should just be left for dead.  I don’t care what circumstances life has given you in the past, but that is over now, and I’m telling you, you deserve that kind of love and happiness, and I won’t let you punish yourself anymore.  …We made a promise to each other Camille, and I won’t let you give up on it, just because you don’t think you deserve it anymore, because…you always did, and you always will.”

   He took a moment to breathe, trying to catch his breath.  Camille, still crying, couldn’t speak.

   Bill smiled again, feeling a tear roll down his cheek.  He stood up, knelt down beside her bed and whispered, “I know you want to be with me Camille.  Part of why you didn’t tell me, not just because you wanted to protect me, was because you didn’t want the relationship to end.  I know you think this is too much for us to take, and maybe it is if we take it alone, but not if we take it together.”

   “Bill…I…I don’t know…”

   He leaned forward and kissed her gently.  He felt her kiss back, but just barely, as she had little strength.  Pulling back, they gazed at each other.  Both were crying.  Both were almost out of breath.  Both…had a little hope.

   “You know I’m right Camille,” Bill whispered, rubbing her hand gently, “I love you, and I meant it forever.  Just because our dreams are starting a little early, and are off to kind of a rocky start, doesn’t mean that they’re gone.  I know you love me too.  Please, don’t let yourself think it’s over.”

   Camille was so tired, and finally felt ready to sleep again, but she slowly realized that Bill was being honest.  He was right.  She didn’t want it to be over.  Right now, nothing made any sense, but to hear that he loved her and would never let her go; it gave her hope.  The love wasn’t over.  What they had…it was real.

   Though she wanted the best for Bill, she knew now, that this was what was best for him…maybe even for them both.

   She smiled weakly.

   Bill’s heart leapt into his throat, filled with joy when he saw her smile.

   “If…if you say so Bill…,” she whispered.

   A smile curled his lips.  He leaned forward and kissed her once more.  Pulling back he whispered, “I do say so, and I mean every word, forever.”

   His smile waivered a bit; she looked so fragile he was afraid she’d fall apart.  A yawn escaped her, and in its wake she whispered, “I—I love you Bill.”

   He felt strength return to him when she said that.  Tears fell over his brave smile.  “I love you too Camille.  I…I know things are confusing now, but…we’ll make it through all of this somehow, as long as we do it together.  You don’t give up, and neither will I, I promise,” he whispered in reply.

   She nodded, a soft “Okay,” her only reply as her strength failed her.  He frowned a bit.  He knew she couldn’t be this tired just because it was the end of a long day.  This combination of anemia and low iron left her extremely weak.  She couldn’t even lift her head up.

   He glanced around the room, noticing her chart hanging off the foot of her bed.  He gently put her hand down, and then walked to look at it.  He studied it for a moment, trying to see where it said she didn’t need any blood.

   A nurse walked by the door at that point and saw him standing there.  Walking into the doorway she asked, “Is there something wrong sir?”

   He looked to her, hanging the chart back on the foot of the bed.  “Yes actually,” he said, slightly hurt and upset that they were content to leave her this weak, “She can barely speak to me, or lift her hand.  Heck, she can’t even lift her head up.  You tell me she has a history of low iron, and now she’s badly anemic, and at the same time, she’s pregnant, and trying to recover from a severe beating.  How can you tell me that she doesn’t need, no, deserve, a little more blood to build up her strength as she recovers?”

   The nurse smiled sympathetically; “It’s not that Mr. Hampton,” she replied, “You see, Camille has a somewhat uncommon blood type, and right now we’re low in supply, so low that it’s on hold only for dire emergencies and surgeries.  Camille almost needs it that badly, but not quite.  It was a tough call, but she’ll just have to tough it out.”

   Bill raised an eyebrow, annoyed at being called Mr. Hampton, but more curious about this supposed rare blood type.  “An uncommon blood type huh?” he asked, “And just what type is it?”

   “She’s type B negative,” the nurse replied, “The negative types are always more uncommon, and right now we’re almost as low on B negative blood as we are on AB negative, one of the rarest blood types there is.”

   Bill’s eyes widened.  Glancing back at Camille, a soft chuckle escaped him.

   “Mr. Hampton?  Are you…” the nurse started.

   “Stop it!” Bill said suddenly, holding his hand out in front of him.  Looking back to her, he continued, “Stop it, you’re making me sound like I’m my father.  Call me Bill please.”  He paused.  She nodded, but before she could speak he said, “I want you to draw some from me, and give it to her, right now.”

   “But…Bill, I’m sure you know that,” the nurse tried to say again.

   “Yes,” he interrupted, “I’m not stupid.  I know that blood types need to match, or be as close as possible.  You’re talking to an honor student.”  Shaking his head he laughed again and added, “Her type isn’t so rare.  You see, I’m B negative as well.”

   Now it was time for the nurse’s eyes to widen.  “Are you serious?”

   Bill laughed again.  “Sure I’m sure.  I just got through telling Camille that athletes at my school have to have their blood tested twice every season to check for steroids and crap.  After so many times I’ve gotten it memorized.  …Never knew she’d end up being the same type though.”

   The nurse didn’t speak.  After a few moments, Bill looked back to her and said, “You heard me.  I want you to take what you need to from me, and give it to her.  I don’t care if it means I end up being the one fatigued.  She needs it more than I do.”

   “Of course, come with me,” she replied.  She took a few steps before looking back to Bill and saying, “You know we won’t have to take all that much from you to help her, right?”

   Bill had finally stepped away from the bed, ready to follow the nurse.  “I know, but I want you to take as much from me as you can.  I don’t want her to be given the bare minimum.  I want her to have as much as she can accept, and that is what you’re going to do if I have anything to say about it, and if that isn’t good enough for you, I won’t hesitate to see what my father has to say about it.”

   She remembered who she was talking to.  “Of course Bill, we’ll do exactly that.  There’s a limit to how much we can safely take from you at once, but if you want us to go that far, then we will.”

   “It’s what I want.  It’s what she needs.  So let’s carry on with it,” Bill answered.

   The nurse nodded, and she led Bill deeper into the hospital for the procedure.  As he walked, Bill realized his uneasiness with hospitals had faded.  He knew that soon Camille would be stronger; more blood would mean more strength to help her recover.

   And yet he knew now it would take more than just Bill’s blood to help her survive.

   She returned his love.  She was ready to stop punishing herself and to accept Bill’s help.  He knew that somewhere inside she still doubted that someone loved her that much, and he knew it was because she never had a family there for her to give her a sense of self-worth, even when everyone at school, save Jeff’s worthless behind, did their best to build her up.

   The next few months of their lives would bring many changes.  Bill was going to teach Camille to love herself the way he did, and to help her understand that she deserved all the happiness she had coming her way.  In the background, the little child growing inside of her would play more of a role than any of them could suspect in this journey, affecting not just Camille’s life, but Bill’s, and the lives of all those around them as well.

   Only time would tell just how these life choices would affect their lives, and their precious love, a love just as new as this tiny little life, that would now grow along with it.

Description
"Two True Loves"
By: Jade Lightning, a.k.a. Inuyashas-hanyougirl
Chapter 9: Life Choices

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   Rain began to fall that early evening.  Bill could hear it tapping at the window pane as it fell, providing a soothing alternative to the chaotic noise of the ER for his ears to listen to.  He had never been fond of hospitals.  He wasn’t actually afraid of them; they just made him uneasy.

   It was just one of those things about him that he had never told anyone, except for Camille.  Over the past few weeks the two of them grew closer and closer, and at times he found himself willingly telling her these secrets, willingly to the point that he didn’t consider them secrets anymore, at least ones that he felt the need to keep from her.  He’d never share these sides of himself with anyone else, but Camille, she was different.

   He knew she’d never hold any of these things against him.  He knew that no matter what happened to them that he’d never regret telling her such things, including his weaknesses.  Bill was positive that there would never come a day that Camille would exploit these weaknesses to hurt him.  He trusted her; he trusted the love they shared.

   And here it was; their relationship, barely a month old, was being tested in the most serious way imaginable.

   He opened his eyes.  He was still in that room with her.  The rain was getting heavier; a roll of thunder in the distance took little time following the lightning flash.  The storm was now upon them, almost as if it was trying to provide accompaniment to the ongoing situation surrounding them.

   But it didn’t feel like a storm.  Bill didn’t know exactly what he was feeling right now.  He glanced at Camille as she slept, taking note of the bandages on her face, the stitches above her brow, and the shaky frown on her face as she slept half curled in a ball on the bed.  He felt anger bring new life to his senses, senses that had dulled out as he was depressed.  And yet it didn’t last long.

   He paused; he knew Jeff was gone.  As much as he hated Jeff, he was gracious for Jeff’s anger and his desire to bring hurt to Camille.  Because of that anger and hatred, he willingly told everyone in that library, including a police officer, exactly what he had done to Camille, and when and where he had done it.  That anger that festered in Jeff’s heart had also led him to attack Camille when she kept her silence.  Though Camille had suffered terribly, everything he had done meant he was gone forever.  There’d be no trial.  Just a sentencing, and he would be locked away for a long time.

   The anger faded.  It disappeared as Bill expelled a slow breath, giving way to a sigh, as the thunder rolled again, louder this time.

   He cringed.  Glancing at the window, he could barely make out the neighboring buildings as water rushed down the glass, blurring the view.  He rubbed the back of his neck as if it pained him, before getting up and pulling the curtains together.  He was tired of the storm.  The rain was comforting; the turbulent nature of the howling wind, thunder, and lightning was not.

   But the rain…he knew Camille liked rain.  One afternoon they spent together was washed out by the early arrival of spring showers.  They spent that afternoon talking as they often did.  Bill revealed more of his heart to her, and she shared more of hers with him.  A smile crept to Bill’s face as he thought of everything they had shared, everything they had in common…the dreams they wanted to fulfill.

   And yet, she had kept one, no…two, very painful secrets to herself.

   All because she didn’t want him to self destruct.   All because…she loved him.

   He sat back down.  He didn’t know what he felt more, sickness or sadness.  He lowered his head, cradling his face with his hands.   He felt confused.  He had to sort everything out.  He wouldn’t be any help to Camille when she awoke if he was in as terrible a state as he was now.

   “I…I don’t understand…,” he whispered to himself.  He glanced up at her, his stomach still feeling sick, and continued softly, “You wanted to…protect me?  You were willing to stand up to him…and not say a word, about how…he hurt you; how, he violated you; how…he broke you.  You stood up to him, just so he couldn’t have the pleasure of breaking us both…so I wouldn’t…go over the edge.  All this…because you love me?  How?  How could you do it Camille…and, why?”

   He fell silent, watching her breathe, wanting an answer, but at the same time wanting her to rest and sleep off the pain ravaging her body and spirit.  Letting out a sigh, he lowered his eyes again and muttered, “Oh give it up Bill Hampton.  She stood up to Jeff for the same reason you were ready to chase him down and beat him within an inch of his life.  The love I feel for her…she really…she feels the same for me.”

   That only brought Bill a little comfort.  He understood Camille’s actions because of how much she loved him; he understood how much she loved him, because he knew how much he loved her.  That love they shared was strong…strong enough to push them to do things for each other that they’d do for no one else, even at an age where most would assume their love was weak, superficial at best, something that wouldn’t last.

   Bill wasn’t afraid of anything when it came to helping Camille.  So desperate was he to bring her justice that afternoon, he didn’t even think of the consequences as he prepared to charge Jeff.  Had his friends not stepped up bravely to hold him back, both he and Jeff would be sitting together at the police headquarters downtown.

   Still…that was blind rage.  None would blame him for it.  It was just another sign of how much he cared for her.  The cuts and bruises on Camille’s body, showed just how much she cared for him.

   Jeff was gone.  That struggle was over.  A new one had presented itself to them.

   Such a big issue, in the smallest of sizes, in the most innocent of forms.

   He looked up at her once again, slowly.  As his vision crept above his fingertips, he could again see her lying there, still recovering from everything.  He knew somehow she’d get better and move on from this, but there was one thing that wouldn’t go away, and would be a part of her life forever.

   It was already a part of her, even if it hadn’t made itself so well known yet.

   It would with time.

   Finally, Bill thought about it.  The words he exchanged with the nurse returned to his thoughts.  He said he wouldn’t leave her any time soon…that nothing would break them apart.  He meant it then, and he felt it now.

   But wait, something was wrong.  Wasn’t he supposed to feel pressured by what all this meant to the point that he would take whatever escape from it that he had?

   That was what everyone expected.  The nurse said it, no doubt others wondered the same thing.

   As sad as everyone was about what had happened, Bill could guess that a large number of his peers, even his friends, had already begun to wonder how much longer the couple would stay together.  Maybe some thought the shock and the pain would keep them together, long enough for Bill to help Camille back to full strength.  He knew by now the word that Camille was pregnant had leaked to everyone in the school.  He knew that the ones that weren’t waiting for them to break up, were forming thoughts that perhaps it wasn’t Jeff’s child after all, and that Bill and Camille had gotten closer than they had suspected.

   Maybe they weren’t as perfect as everyone thought.

   “Argh, that’s enough!” Bill cried in a pained whisper.  He held his head in anguish, pulling on the roots of his hair, cringing as his head began to hurt.  He relaxed a little, sinking lower into his chair as he whispered, “I don’t feel like that at all.  Sure, maybe I’m not grasping exactly what all this means yet…but…I—I refuse to let her go!  Stereotypical opinions don’t mean a thing!  I love her!  This isn’t the end!”

   Then, he felt it.  Tears were creeping into his eyes again.  It wasn’t fair.  Just because he was a teenager, everyone was already assuming he was going to throw Camille away.  He was angry.  How dare anyone compare their love to common, fake, trashy relationships that never lasted longer than a year.  Sure, he had only dated her seriously for a month, but he had loved her for years.  She was his first friend, the only person he truly trusted with everything he was.  He couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone the same, and he couldn’t let her go.

   He knew it would mean making a choice, and yet it wasn’t a choice that he had to think about.

   “Sure…I’m…I’m not sure what’s going to happen, no one is,” Bill whispered, drying his tears, “Camille’s going to change.  In eight month’s time, she’ll be a mother, and for that reason people think I’m going to abandon her.  To do that, would bring shame on my shoulders.  For somebody to make such a heartless choice…I can’t see how they’re human.”

   He paused, glancing at Camille again.  The thunder was getting softer, though the rain hadn’t let up.  Taking a breath, he continued, “No, I shouldn’t say that.  People like that are human, they’re just…weak.  Their love isn’t strong.  They aren’t willing to do things for each other like Camille and I are.  They don’t have dreams at night of getting married…having children, building a life together before dying and spending eternity with each other and their creator.  I’ve already planned my entire life to be lived with her in it.  I’m not…going to give up on her, or my dreams, just because things are getting started a little earlier than we planned.”

   Lowering his eyes, he whispered, “She told me once that she felt the same way about it all that I do.  That was her heart speaking.  I know when she wakes up, she may try to talk me out of it for my sake, but I’ll remind her that we made a promise to each other, and that this isn’t going to do anything towards breaking it.”

   For a moment, Bill felt a veil of calm fall down around him.  As he took a breath, he felt relaxed.  He knew now that no matter how the coming days progressed that he wouldn’t leave Camille, nor would he let her give up on their love for the sake of protecting him.  He gave her his heart, she gave him hers in return, and he wouldn’t let either of their hearts break.

   This was a struggle they would take on together.

   There was no question, and thus, there were no more to answer.

   All the fears subsided in response to that one truth.

   Bill closed his eyes, cradling his head facedown in his hands, trying to get his breath back, and stave off the tears one last time.  He didn’t notice Camille begin to stir on the bed.  As she woke from sleep, she felt the pain from this latest beating from Jeff ravage her body for a moment, but it quickly dulled, dissipated by medication being pumped into her blood through one of the IVs.  With the pain numbed, she slowly opened her eyes.  For whatever reason, there was much more sand holding the lids together than normal.

   Her vision was blurry, but she knew immediately that somebody was sitting in the room with her, right beside her bed.  When she spotted dirty blond locks draped over the shoulders, she knew instantly who it was.

   Bill.

   She could start to see him a little better.  He was still holding his face in his hands, sitting there almost completely frozen.  She could see his shoulders rise up and down as he tried to relax himself with deep breaths.  Somehow she knew the rape was no longer a secret.  Somehow, she knew things would never be the same again.

   Her heart sank.  She wondered again if she would have to let Bill go.  It was the last thing she wanted, but she would do whatever she had to, to make sure he was happy.  She would take the punishment for his good.

   If only she knew what they were really up against.

   She would very soon.

   Wincing a bit, a yawn escaped her as she moved around, trying to get comfortable.  It was enough to get Bill’s attention, causing him to look up when he heard the sounds.  A fragile glimmer of hope sparkled in his brown eyes.  All the joy he felt at seeing her awake and moving, was nearly eclipsed by the trials that had presented themselves to him in these few hours.  Still, he smiled.  Leaning forward, he placed his hand on her brow, stroking the few bangs that had escaped being wrapped up in a bandage on her head.

   When she felt this, she opened her eyes again, finally finding a comfortable position.  The smile on his face tried to comfort her; the glassy look about his eyes, made her uneasy.

   “Hey…are you alright Camille?” he asked.  His voice was soft and out of breath.

   She closed her eyes briefly as his fingers brushed over her skin.  His touch was so comforting.  It made her forget the pain of Jeff’s fists pounding on the same area only hours before.

   “I—I think so…,” she replied.  Her voice was tired and laced with stress, a reminder of the pain she had experienced.  “Whatever they’re giving me…it’s numbing the pain,” she continued.

   Bill cringed.  He noticed the lack of an IV giving her blood.  He was both relieved and angered at the same time, remembering the nurse stating that the anemia was Camille’s biggest issue.  He raised his free hand to his head, feeling a headache coming on.  He muttered, “They tell me she’s anemic, and they aren’t giving her any blood?  Sure, not all anemia is that bad, but…ugh…” He fell silent, growling softly as his mind flashed images of Jeff talking about all the blood he spilt through his head.

   Anemia?  “I’m…I’m anemic?” Camille asked.

   He opened his eyes.  The strong smile fought its way back.  Stroking her hand as he held it, he nodded gently and replied, “Yes Camille.  It was…pretty bad, what he did to you today…that coupled with what happened a few weeks ago…”

   Camille felt her heart skip a beat and fall into her stomach.  “He…he told you,” she whispered, lowering her eyes.

   “Don’t you do that,” Bill said, his voice suddenly strong again, “You have nothing to be ashamed of, you hear me?  He’s a bastard, and since he was stupid enough to confess to everything, we won’t have to worry about fighting him in a trial.  Heh, he said it in front of about twenty people, including three teachers, the librarian, the school nurse, and the SRO officer.  I’m glad he was such a stupid idiot…the last thing you should have to worry about is a trial.  He’s gone now.”

   She continued to stare at his hand as he held hers in it.  She noticed the indentations on his palm, still relatively red, from where he dug his nails into them in his anger.  She ran her finger over the wounds, having to use all of her strength even for such a simple task.  He looked down at her as she did this, not giving much notice to the wounds until now, completely ignorant of the pain.

   “How…did this happen?” she asked, taking deep breaths.

   He stared at them for a moment, almost as if he had to struggle to remember what happened.  He remembered clenching his fists so hard he was afraid he’d break his hands, but he hadn’t thought about what his nails might have done to his skin.  He wondered now if he had gotten blood on his steering wheel.

   “I uh…,” he started, trying to collect his thoughts, “Peter and I heard you cry out, and we ran to the library.  Jeff had punched Joey in the face, and had thrown Gary into some bookshelves, knocking them over like dominoes.  I ran in and pulled him off of you, flung him to the ground, and demanded him to explain himself.  The SRO officer, teachers, the nurse…everyone got there and pulled us apart, and eventually he told me everything.  He taunted both of us the entire time, talking about how we both sucked, and I just…I guess I was so angry I dug my fingernails into my palms and didn’t think about it.  I was…too worried about you.”

   Camille’s eyes widened as much as they could in this fatigued state.  “Joey?  Is he alright?  I just…all I remember was Jeff hitting me.  I don’t remember anything else,” she explained.

   Bill let go of her hand and caressed her brow again, “It’s okay Camille.  Joey’s got a broken nose, but he’ll be alright.  Joey’s not nearly as important as you are, but, damn, that idiot had to go and hurt one of my friends too, and I love Joey like a brother.  I was so desperate to hurt him…Peter and Joey had to hold me back.”

   “Oh dear…,” Camille whimpered, looking at the sleeve of his jacket, “Joey’s hands must have had blood on them when he held on to you.”

   “Huh?” Bill asked.  Glancing at the arm of his jacket, he finally saw the stains left by the blood on Joey’s hands.  He closed his eyes for a brief moment, and almost like a movie reel, he saw the events of that afternoon replay themselves, only now he could finally grasp what was going on, when earlier he was consumed by rage.  Joey had grabbed his right arm and struggled with all of his strength to restrain his best friend.  Peter had done the same.  Both of his friends had to fight with all they had to hold him back, and thankfully, it was enough.

   He opened his eyes again.  He saw Camille still gazing at him with worried eyes.  “I’ve never…been so angry before in my life,” Bill whispered, speaking slowly.  He stared at her for a moment or two, almost as if wondering how to continue.  He got up from his chair and knelt down beside her bed, continuing to hold her hand, rubbing it gently as he spoke again.  “Seeing him beat you was bad enough.  Hearing what he did to you the moment I was out of the picture was the last straw.  Watching him laugh, enjoying your pain so much that jail time was a perfectly legit trade off…it took the knife thrown into my heart and just twisted it.  I wanted to crush him.  I lost myself, and if it weren’t for Peter and Joey, I would have charged him and beaten him within an inch of his life.  Still, that’ll never be enough to punish him.  There’s no sentence in the world that can make him suffer enough in my eyes.  Nothing…nothing can explain…why.”

   When his voice got softer with each word and at last he fell silent, Camille could sense something else weighing down on Bill’s heart.  “I—I’m glad you didn’t attack him Bill,” she whispered, “You would have only lowered yourself to his level, and you’re so much better than that.”

   “I know,” he said, returning his eyes to her face.  “I still wanted justice.”

   She yawned again, more worn out and weak than tired.  “You’ve gotten justice.  You said so yourself,” she replied.

   Bill closed his eyes again.  How could he ever tell her that there was no such thing as justice for what else Jeff had done.

   “No Camille, I haven’t…and neither have you.  You—you never will,” Bill whispered, unable to look at her as he spoke.

   That was it.  She knew something was seriously wrong.

   “It’s the rape, isn’t it?” Camille asked.

   He looked to her, unable to answer.

   She tried her best to sit up a little higher.  Though he was speechless for the moment, Bill helped her, supporting her as she moved, letting her grip his strong arm.  Once she was comfortable again, a small smile curled her lips, confusing Bill.

   Shaking her head as best she could, Camille replied, “I see it in your eyes Bill.  Where I normally see love and happiness, I see anger, but that anger is far eclipsed by sadness, and fear.”  The smile faded, and her eyes drifted to the floor.  “What has he done to me?  Perhaps there’s another explanation for why he was so willing to confess,” she continued.

   “No!  It’s nothing like that!” Bill cried in a pained whisper, causing her to look at him.  He calmed down.  “It’s not AIDS or anything like that,” he added, “Besides, if he had it, we’d have known by now.  All athletes have to have their blood tested twice each season remember?  The second time was back in January, and I know for a fact I didn’t hear about anybody with any STDs.  That’s not…what it is.”

   Camille expected the fear to fade away once she heard that.  However, it only clung to her heart harder.

   “What…what did he do?” Camille asked.

   Bill felt his heart begin to break.  How was he supposed to tell her?

   He lowered his eyes.  “Maybe you should rest right now Camille.  We can talk about it later, when you’re feeling stronger,” he whispered.

   She stared at him.  Though he was looking away from her, she could see a tear build up in the corner of his eye.

   In that moment, she understood.

   With her other hand, she summoned all the strength she had to reach for Bill.  Her fingers brushed across his cheek for only a second before her arm went weak and fell down to the support of the bed.  Bill quickly looked back at her, tears returned to his eyes, filled with anguish at what just happened.

   “Camille?” he whimpered.  He pulled the chair close to the bed again so he could sit up a bit higher.  He took both of her hands in his own, and though he tried to smile, he found he couldn’t.  He wanted to comfort her.  He wanted to tell her everything was alright.  He couldn’t find it in him.  He had not the strength to speak to her her fate.  He could barely do his best to comfort her.

   She felt so weak.  She felt she could no longer keep her eyes open, even though she knew she wasn’t ready for sleep.  Still, she couldn’t let Bill sit there and weep, even though she knew there wasn’t much she could do to stop that from happening, especially if she had read his heart correctly.

   Especially if, her gut feeling was indeed true.

   She tightened her grip on Bill’s hand as much as she could, which was only barely enough for him to notice a change.  He couldn’t look at her.  He knew she was waiting for him to speak, and he couldn’t bear to speak, no matter what was said.

   That is, unless, Camille spoke first.

   “Bill…am I…am I…pregnant?” she asked, speaking so softly.

   A rush of pain flew through Bill’s body, choking his heart.  He glanced at her for only a moment.  He couldn’t take it.  He cringed sharply, clenching his eyes together tightly, but not enough to keep a flood of tears from bursting through the lids.  He frowned, clenching his teeth in pain as he looked away from her.  He took one of his hands back from her, using it to hold his face and cradle his head, crying as though he would never smile again.

   That was enough of an answer for Camille.

   As she maintained her weak hold on Bill’s other hand, she stared at him for a minute, watching him as he wept, before her eyes drifted away, trying to find the most boring piece of wall that she could look at in order to lose herself in the gaze.

   Somehow, she wasn’t really surprised.  She realized now that her period was late; even though it wasn’t exactly regular, it was still overdue.  She understood why that sickness continued to plague her, even as it eased up in intensity and had started to fade.  Now she understood the pain behind Bill’s tears.

   He was in agony because this would ultimately tear them apart.  She just knew it.  Bill needed to move on with his own life.  He didn’t need Camille to hold him back anymore, or this baby.

   “Bill…I’m…I’m sorry,” she whispered.

   Did he hear right?  Did she just say that she was sorry?

   His eyes stung terribly as he opened them, quickly looking back to her when she spoke.  She continued to stare at that blank piece of wall, unsure of what else to do.  He reached for her, gently stroking the first strands of hair his fingers touched, barely brushing over the skin beneath as he did so.  She didn’t look back to him, and simply expelled a long and labored breath.

   “You’re sorry?” he asked, struggling for strength to speak with, “Camille, what the hell do you have to be sorry for?  None of this is your fault!  I won’t let you do this!”

   “No, no, that’s not what I mean,” Camille whispered.  She cut off her words as though she had more to say, but simply didn’t have the strength to do so.

   He slowly stopped crying.  He took his hand back for a moment in order to dry his eyes.  “Why are you sorry then?” he asked.

   Camille felt as though she’d die from having no strength left.  She could barely move or breathe.

   “Because…I know this means…it’s over,” she whispered.

   She took as deep a breath as she could after this.  It was impossible to tell whether she was doing it to stave off crying, or to try and hide her pain.

   Bill was rocked to his core.  He had to resist gripping Camille’s dainty hand when he heard her speak.  Did she actually have the same mindset that that nurse did; the same mindset that no doubt everyone around him did?  Did she actually think that he could break himself away from her?  Didn’t she realize that he couldn’t live without her?  She was the reason he breathed; she held the other half of his heart; she was the girl he wanted to marry.  In Camille, he had found the mother of his children.

   Before now he was so sure that she understood his heart.  Then he realized that perhaps she did understand it, but for his sake she would give him the chance to chase new dreams.

   He simply had to remind her that he had no desire to stray from the path he was on, no matter how rocky the terrain.

   He got up and bent over her, leaning down and gently kissing her on the head near her ear.  As he was sitting back down, she looked to him, exhausted, but somewhat confused.  She wondered if maybe his heart was weakened and was clinging desperately to her for strength.

   “Please Bill, you think it’ll be hard to let go, but it’ll be for the…”

   “Shh,” he replied, holding a finger to his lips.  He shook his head, a weak smile curling his lips as he spoke.  “You silly girl, you’ve forgotten what I told you that one day that we spent at the beach.  I told you I had found the girl I wanted to be with forever.  Do you honestly think I didn’t mean it?”

   She gazed at him, tears flirting with her eyelids.  “Sure you meant it.  You meant it then, before all of this happened and everything changed.  How in the world could you mean it now?  How could you mean it when it’ll mean not being able to take it slow; when it means all of your dreams have to take a back seat to reality; when it means, nothing will ever be the same?” she whimpered.

   Though tears still fell from his eyes, Bill smiled.  He could feel love overflowing his heart, chasing away the pain, the fears, and the uncertainty.  “I meant it forever,” Bill replied, his voice shaky but secure.  “You love me Camille, and I know how much, because I know how much I love you.  Both of us were willing to go to desperate lengths just for the sake of the other, but that’s over now.”  He paused, gazing at her for a moment.  He reached forward and wiped the tears from her eyes before they could fall and stain her face.  “You can call me stupid,” he added, “You can tell me you’ll leave me on your own.  You can say or do whatever you will to get rid of me, but I won’t let you, because I know in your heart it isn’t what you really want, even if at the same time you’d do it because you want me to be happy.”

   “Bill,” she whimpered, “This isn’t what you want.  Please, don’t say it.  I’ll…I’ll be alright on my own…”

   “You liar,” Bill replied, smiling, “I’m already aware of your living conditions Camille.  I’m not going to let you go back to that house and try to have that baby alone, without your mother and an apathetic father who only keeps you around for a paycheck.”

   Camille let out as strong a gasp as she could manage.  “Who told you?”

   He stroked her brow again.  “It’s okay Camille.  When neither of your parents got here, but everyone else did, we all just sort of…figured it out,” he replied.  Taking a breath, he continued, “I want to find out how attached he is to you.  I want to see if maybe…he’ll let you stay with me.”

   She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

   “Bill…how could you…”

   “No, stop Camille, let me finish,” Bill said, his voice a bit firmer.  “I don’t want to get tough, but I want you to stop thinking about what’s best for me, and think about what you want for once.  I want you to look at yourself through my eyes.  I want you to love yourself with my heart, because if you loved yourself as much as I do, even if you wanted me to think about it, you’d accept it, and wouldn’t fight it because you think I deserve better and that you should just be left for dead.  I don’t care what circumstances life has given you in the past, but that is over now, and I’m telling you, you deserve that kind of love and happiness, and I won’t let you punish yourself anymore.  …We made a promise to each other Camille, and I won’t let you give up on it, just because you don’t think you deserve it anymore, because…you always did, and you always will.”

   He took a moment to breathe, trying to catch his breath.  Camille, still crying, couldn’t speak.

   Bill smiled again, feeling a tear roll down his cheek.  He stood up, knelt down beside her bed and whispered, “I know you want to be with me Camille.  Part of why you didn’t tell me, not just because you wanted to protect me, was because you didn’t want the relationship to end.  I know you think this is too much for us to take, and maybe it is if we take it alone, but not if we take it together.”

   “Bill…I…I don’t know…”

   He leaned forward and kissed her gently.  He felt her kiss back, but just barely, as she had little strength.  Pulling back, they gazed at each other.  Both were crying.  Both were almost out of breath.  Both…had a little hope.

   “You know I’m right Camille,” Bill whispered, rubbing her hand gently, “I love you, and I meant it forever.  Just because our dreams are starting a little early, and are off to kind of a rocky start, doesn’t mean that they’re gone.  I know you love me too.  Please, don’t let yourself think it’s over.”

   Camille was so tired, and finally felt ready to sleep again, but she slowly realized that Bill was being honest.  He was right.  She didn’t want it to be over.  Right now, nothing made any sense, but to hear that he loved her and would never let her go; it gave her hope.  The love wasn’t over.  What they had…it was real.

   Though she wanted the best for Bill, she knew now, that this was what was best for him…maybe even for them both.

   She smiled weakly.

   Bill’s heart leapt into his throat, filled with joy when he saw her smile.

   “If…if you say so Bill…,” she whispered.

   A smile curled his lips.  He leaned forward and kissed her once more.  Pulling back he whispered, “I do say so, and I mean every word, forever.”

   His smile waivered a bit; she looked so fragile he was afraid she’d fall apart.  A yawn escaped her, and in its wake she whispered, “I—I love you Bill.”

   He felt strength return to him when she said that.  Tears fell over his brave smile.  “I love you too Camille.  I…I know things are confusing now, but…we’ll make it through all of this somehow, as long as we do it together.  You don’t give up, and neither will I, I promise,” he whispered in reply.

   She nodded, a soft “Okay,” her only reply as her strength failed her.  He frowned a bit.  He knew she couldn’t be this tired just because it was the end of a long day.  This combination of anemia and low iron left her extremely weak.  She couldn’t even lift her head up.

   He glanced around the room, noticing her chart hanging off the foot of her bed.  He gently put her hand down, and then walked to look at it.  He studied it for a moment, trying to see where it said she didn’t need any blood.

   A nurse walked by the door at that point and saw him standing there.  Walking into the doorway she asked, “Is there something wrong sir?”

   He looked to her, hanging the chart back on the foot of the bed.  “Yes actually,” he said, slightly hurt and upset that they were content to leave her this weak, “She can barely speak to me, or lift her hand.  Heck, she can’t even lift her head up.  You tell me she has a history of low iron, and now she’s badly anemic, and at the same time, she’s pregnant, and trying to recover from a severe beating.  How can you tell me that she doesn’t need, no, deserve, a little more blood to build up her strength as she recovers?”

   The nurse smiled sympathetically; “It’s not that Mr. Hampton,” she replied, “You see, Camille has a somewhat uncommon blood type, and right now we’re low in supply, so low that it’s on hold only for dire emergencies and surgeries.  Camille almost needs it that badly, but not quite.  It was a tough call, but she’ll just have to tough it out.”

   Bill raised an eyebrow, annoyed at being called Mr. Hampton, but more curious about this supposed rare blood type.  “An uncommon blood type huh?” he asked, “And just what type is it?”

   “She’s type B negative,” the nurse replied, “The negative types are always more uncommon, and right now we’re almost as low on B negative blood as we are on AB negative, one of the rarest blood types there is.”

   Bill’s eyes widened.  Glancing back at Camille, a soft chuckle escaped him.

   “Mr. Hampton?  Are you…” the nurse started.

   “Stop it!” Bill said suddenly, holding his hand out in front of him.  Looking back to her, he continued, “Stop it, you’re making me sound like I’m my father.  Call me Bill please.”  He paused.  She nodded, but before she could speak he said, “I want you to draw some from me, and give it to her, right now.”

   “But…Bill, I’m sure you know that,” the nurse tried to say again.

   “Yes,” he interrupted, “I’m not stupid.  I know that blood types need to match, or be as close as possible.  You’re talking to an honor student.”  Shaking his head he laughed again and added, “Her type isn’t so rare.  You see, I’m B negative as well.”

   Now it was time for the nurse’s eyes to widen.  “Are you serious?”

   Bill laughed again.  “Sure I’m sure.  I just got through telling Camille that athletes at my school have to have their blood tested twice every season to check for steroids and crap.  After so many times I’ve gotten it memorized.  …Never knew she’d end up being the same type though.”

   The nurse didn’t speak.  After a few moments, Bill looked back to her and said, “You heard me.  I want you to take what you need to from me, and give it to her.  I don’t care if it means I end up being the one fatigued.  She needs it more than I do.”

   “Of course, come with me,” she replied.  She took a few steps before looking back to Bill and saying, “You know we won’t have to take all that much from you to help her, right?”

   Bill had finally stepped away from the bed, ready to follow the nurse.  “I know, but I want you to take as much from me as you can.  I don’t want her to be given the bare minimum.  I want her to have as much as she can accept, and that is what you’re going to do if I have anything to say about it, and if that isn’t good enough for you, I won’t hesitate to see what my father has to say about it.”

   She remembered who she was talking to.  “Of course Bill, we’ll do exactly that.  There’s a limit to how much we can safely take from you at once, but if you want us to go that far, then we will.”

   “It’s what I want.  It’s what she needs.  So let’s carry on with it,” Bill answered.

   The nurse nodded, and she led Bill deeper into the hospital for the procedure.  As he walked, Bill realized his uneasiness with hospitals had faded.  He knew that soon Camille would be stronger; more blood would mean more strength to help her recover.

   And yet he knew now it would take more than just Bill’s blood to help her survive.

   She returned his love.  She was ready to stop punishing herself and to accept Bill’s help.  He knew that somewhere inside she still doubted that someone loved her that much, and he knew it was because she never had a family there for her to give her a sense of self-worth, even when everyone at school, save Jeff’s worthless behind, did their best to build her up.

   The next few months of their lives would bring many changes.  Bill was going to teach Camille to love herself the way he did, and to help her understand that she deserved all the happiness she had coming her way.  In the background, the little child growing inside of her would play more of a role than any of them could suspect in this journey, affecting not just Camille’s life, but Bill’s, and the lives of all those around them as well.

   Only time would tell just how these life choices would affect their lives, and their precious love, a love just as new as this tiny little life, that would now grow along with it.