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"Wandering to Love"
By: Jade Lightning, a.k.a. Inuyashas-hanyougirl
Chapter 9: Because they Needed Him

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   “Dear Journal, life is changing…for all of us.  I thought I was going to be lonely when Aranelion and Camillia announced they were moving in together.  I mean, I knew this was all in preparation for their marriage, in which case Aranelion would be moving out anyway.  It’s not that I’m not alright on my own, I just…Aranelion’s been my constant companion…more than just my twin brother, but my best friend, for my entire life.  I didn’t know how I’d feel about us living apart, even when he’s just a few floors above me.  I’m just fortunate to have Hannah in my life.  She’s spent more and more and time over here as the weeks pass and Aranelion and Camillia’s wedding date draws ever closer.  Actually, we’ve talked about moving in together ourselves.  Does that mean…we’re almost ready to start the walk on the road to marriage ourselves?  I swear, it’s times like this, when no journal entry can substitute for a nice long talk with my father, Armundae.  I wish…I wish he would come to me, if but one last time.”

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   Plans for one of the largest weddings Starshine Town would ever seen were underway, while at the same time those involved continued living their lives.  Isaac and Lucie were back reporting the weather and news, Auron was back to delivering pizzas, Lairen continued working for her step-brother’s catering business, while Aranelion and Elianaron returned to playing music at Kawai’s, much to the joy of their many fans.  Camillia had more time to herself; after the big wedding show she only had a few jobs over the next two months; plenty of time to plan for her own big day, while Hannah, as she grew closer to Elianaron, continued her work at the hospital.

   After the drama of those past months and the relief of the holidays, business as usual was actually welcome and embraced.  What was once mundane, was now a beautiful thing.  It meant stability; it meant that everything was alright, and that nothing was wrong, at least on a dramatic level.  Still, the little problems from day to day were nothing compared to nearly losing both Brokenstar twins to terrible injuries.

   Though his hands were both broken in the accident, Aranelion was able to play piano again, as both had healed while he was comatose.  His hands ached him a bit, but not enough to deter him from pursuing his love for music.  It was just another blessing for him, this full recovery from the brink of death.

   Elianaron felt similar fortune.  After suffering from a wide array of injuries, and recovering from them with ease and perfection, finding the same luck with bullet wounds was comforting.  He knew he and his brother weren’t immortal or immune to decay, but it was nice to know they had easily, and sometimes not so easily, survived anything life threw at them.  They were strong, nearly impossible to defeat.

   They had both grown into strong, young men, their mother raving about the kind of warriors they had become.  They were everything she and their father had dreamed they would be.  This was something to cross their ears before she left, and though they did not speak it, it got them thinking about their father again.

   Was he really proud of him?  We’re they really what he had dreamt they would become?  When Armundae held his baby twins in his arms, did he envision them defeating an army of mutants, ten-thousand strong, in the name of him and all echidnas?  Well, sure he didn’t.  He didn’t know that he would be taken from them when they were only eight.  He didn’t once imagine that he would be taken from them so quickly.

   He probably saw them growing up on Angel Island with their distant cousins, Hidama and Knuckles, as well as the children of the other captain, in glory and splendor.  They would never be in want of anything, and would be the most important members of the village, save the sons of the Guardian alone, for Armundae was the older captain, giving Aranelion and Elianaron a slight leg above the other captain’s children.  Though they were of mixed blood, simply being twins would give them advantages too, as twin births were celebrated and honored in the echidna culture, a sign of good fortune, especially when they were born to someone of great importance, such as one of the Captains of the Guardian.

   Yeah, some fortune they were.  Sure, they were beloved by the entire village, even when the hedgehogs of their mother’s race hated them.  The echidnas loved them, and offered them the only tender love and care that they would receive from anyone besides their parents for a good chunk of their lives.  They believed the twins were a sign of good years to come.  And then, only eight years into their “blessed” lives, Angel Island was besieged, nearly all her people killed, and her glory lost forever, only living on through the lives of her soul survivors; little Knuckles, as he emerged from a bush the morning after that bloody night; young Hidama, growing up abused and nearly killed by their persecutors; and the dear Brokenstar Twins, safe in the home of their mother’s people.

   Things had not turned out how Armundae had dreamt they would.  Their mother lived on.  Perhaps they became what their mother dreamed they would be in the wake of the death of their father, but this was only after she had to rework her dreams.  How could they know if they grew into what their father wanted them to be?  He traveled a lot yes, but he could never begin to imagine them living in a big city like Starshine Town, playing piano and singing together in a night club, making so many fans and becoming so successful because of this gift of music.

   They had traveled the world, living out one dream they knew their father would be proud of.  They had saved lives, avenged death; they had solved crimes, brought lawbreakers to justice.  They had met untold amounts of people, all on different walks of life, and had learned and seen so much in their short lives that this wealth of knowledge was worth more than gold to so many, and their father as well.

   But was that enough?  He had dreamt about his boys taking his place beside the new Guardian, Hidama.  Sure, this was impossible now, so…it begged the question.  Was he proud of the path in life they had found and taken without him?

   It sounded like the fears of two small boys still deeply scarred by the death of their father.  Of course their father was proud of them; he would love them and be happy with what they became no matter what path they chose or how they made their way to it.  It just wasn’t that easy for Aranelion and Elianaron to accept.  Their father couldn’t walk up to them and say it.  They had to believe it.  They had to have faith in words and assurance they had not known for nearly thirteen years.

   They wondered how Hidama and Knuckles fared.  Maybe because Knuckles was so young he could escape feeling like he owed his father something, and thus did not build his life around what he thought were his father’s expectations.  Perhaps because he was the younger son of the Guardian he escaped that weight of responsibility.  Nobody ever expected him to become anything except his brother’s understudy.

   Hidama was only a few months older than his friends.  He was destined to become the Guardian, and he was the Guardian now.  After being rescued from Feldmort’s prisons, he had returned to Angel Island and took his place on the altar beside his brother.  Knuckles and Hidama shared the Guardianship.  After so much, they had become exactly what they were destined to be, and even more so.  Knuckles, as a small child, stepped up to fill a position meant for someone more than twice his age, and now maintained it as one of the most skilled Guardians in history, preceded only by Kashoku.  Hidama, with his brother, made history.  The brothers were the first siblings to share the responsibility…the first to even have a desire to.

   Of course they didn’t worry about their father’s expectations; they had already fulfilled and surpassed them!  If Aranelion and Elianaron couldn’t look to Hidama and Knuckles for help, who could they turn to?  Nobody in the world understood their troubles, except for maybe their father, who was also the only one who could help them, and he couldn’t do so for them anymore.

   With his marriage to Camillia fast approaching, Aranelion was desperate for his father’s comfort more than ever, a desire he shared with his twin.  As he grew closer to Hannah, Elianaron turned his thoughts to asking her to be his bride, and yet, he wouldn’t have the fortune of a coma to wake up from to break the ice when it came time to ask her.  He would have to find another way to overcome his nerves and fears.  It wasn’t easy, and knowing full well what his father had to go through for the love of Aerealei, Elianaron was dying inside, knowing his father could give him advice none could, and was perhaps the only one who could chase away the fears in his heart surrounding the matter.

   Still, they couldn’t do anything about it.  Their father was gone; he couldn’t come back.  There was no way he could help them.  As it was in the past, they could only count on each other…even while they still prayed to their father for guidance.

   With the wedding only a week away, Elianaron sat up late in his apartment.  His brother was now living with Camillia, and this was one night that Hannah had to work late.  She and Elianaron were already discussing moving in to his apartment, as he had the bigger one between the two of them, and were almost finalized with everything.  And so tonight he waited up for her, watching the rain from a storm that had raged since that morning, slowly roll down the window beside him.

   That wasn’t all he focused on.  On the table before him, he was working on the loose ends of a song he planned to play at the wedding party for Camillia and Aranelion.  It was another song he had to write without his brother’s help, and so he wanted to make sure it was perfect.  He had not written a piano score in quite some time, so he put everything he had into the music and the words.

   Still, as he scratched his head in annoyance, Elianaron shook his head, smiling weakly through a sigh as he muttered, “Aww, I’ll never be as good as Air.  He must have a miniature piano inside his head that he can poke at when he needs help constructing a chord.”  Placing his pencil down, and rising to his feet, he added, “Guitar chords are easier for me, and yet so different than a piano’s notes.  Making that transition and still having it come out perfect is easier said than done.  Maybe I should strike my guitar strings with a hammer from now on.”

   Elianaron turned and walked into the kitchen, humming to himself the few chords that still had him down for the count in their execution.  Reaching into the refrigerator for a can of root beer, he stomped his foot in annoyance.  Slamming the door shut, he grumbled, “This is stupid!  I learned the piano at the same rate as my brother, and while I think he is better than me, I’m still pretty darn good at playing it.  I’m better than most!  Did learning the guitar really destroy my ability to write beautiful piano music?  Just, ugh!  I’ll never get this right!”

   As if agreeing with him, a loud clap of thunder boomed outside, and the lights of the apartment, and the entire building, flickered and dimmed, the power nearly shutting off completely.  Elianaron stood still, even his breath escaped him cautiously, as he waited to see whether the power would fail or not.  It neither disappeared or returned to full strength, the lights remaining dim, giving the room the look of a place bathed by the evening sunset, even though the fluorescent light wasn’t nearly as radiant as the sun.

   Finally opening his drink, Elianaron took a good swig of it before sighing in annoyance.  “Feh, at least the light fits my mood.  At this rate the wedding dance will turn into a funeral march,” he muttered.  Looking to the table where the song and his pencil rested, he lowered his eyes and added, “I’m just going to have to ask Mom for help.  She’ll figure out these tricky chords.  …I’m never going to write a song on the guitar again if I have any intention of transcribing it into piano music.  I’m just no good at it…if I have Air to help me, maybe, but never on my own.”

   Even though he was about to give up with dry resignation, Elianaron couldn’t ignore the song as it taunted him.  It was almost finished, save the final few chords that eluded him.  This was for his brother and his soon to be sister-in-law; he simply had to get it right.  Taking another swallow of his drink, Elianaron walked back over to the table, and sat down, gazing at the bars of notes he had written and scratched out time and time again as if he hoped they would speak to him, telling him of their charms.

   He sat in near meditation, blocking out the thunder and rain, and all things that served to distract him, as he ran those notes over and over in his head.  He tried to picture his mother, and even his twin playing the song through, hoping that perhaps this vision would produce the notes he wanted.  After nearly half an hour, he was no closer to completing the song than he was that morning.

   Letting out a sigh, Elianaron turned away from the table, trying to find something else to think about.  Glancing at pictures on the wall, he gazed at the faces of so many he held dear, and yet, one face among them was missing.  The face of his father Armundae.

   “Oh Father,” Elianaron sighed, “I know you don’t know much about piano music, and yet I wish I could talk to you now more than ever.  I—I want to ask Hannah to marry me, but, I don’t know.  I asked Aranelion how he planned to propose to Camillia, and, heh, he told me he was never really sure.  We both never figured it out; he was just lucky everything worked out in his favor.  Waking up from that coma…he knew it was what Camillia wanted to hear, and he wasn’t going to risk it by waiting any longer for that proper moment.  Thing is…I’m not so lucky.  How can I know if Hannah and I are ready for this?  Do her parents like me?  I mean, she’s an only child, and while I’ve heard her say her parents are anxious to meet me…I just, what if I fail them all?”

   Looking out to the rain, Elianaron whispered, “Feh, Air and I don’t even know if we’ve done you right Father.  He’s going into a marriage he’s unsure about, not because of the love, but because he’s afraid he’ll mess up somehow.  Air and I are afraid of failure, not because of what it’ll do to our image, but because of who we’d be hurting.  I know he loves Camillia as much as I love Hannah.  Father, you had to overcome much more than us for your love for Mom…your words are worth more than anything to me now, and yet I cannot hear them.  I know Air feels the same.  We just wish we could talk to you again…where’s that assurance that all will be alright?  Where’s that light in father’s eyes to guide the lost sons?  Are we…doing okay Father?”

   A low rumble of thunder caused Elianaron to shiver as he listened to the silence that followed.  Before he could return to the song, he heard a whisper come from behind him.

   “That, is a question only you can answer, my son.”

   Elianaron gasped, not simply because he heard the voice, but because he vaguely recognized the tone of it.  A rich tenor voice, maybe a few steps below his own, rich and warm, allowing a soft chuckle to give it life just as the wind brought breath to the air.  He could not answer as he trembled, trying to reason with himself, not because it was there, but because of who it was.

   “That indeed, is an answer you find in your own image.  I, can only tell you my opinion of it.  Whether you accept my words or not, is your own prerogative.”

   Closing his eyes, Elianaron felt a tear try to break through them.  He turned around slowly as he spoke, plagued with a tremble, “But…what can I do when my own image is based on your opinion of it…Father?”

   As he opened his eyes, he could see the spirit of his father, Armundae, standing before him, his arms folded across his chest, gazing at his son with sympathetic and loving eyes.  Elianaron’s jaw fell as the trembles grew into a violent shudder.  Chills ran through him, and every nerve-ending in his body was railing against him in an attempt to bring to life the torrent of emotions tearing through him now.

   With a sweet sigh, Armundae looked at his son, his royal purple orbs shining with the light, not of the mortal, but of the everlasting.  He smiled, extending a hand to his younger twin son, and asked, “What do you ask of me Elianaron?  You express inadequacy that you deem only I capable of mending.  You and your brother say you are afraid of failing.  What is it you really fear, if you fear at all?”

   Elianaron glanced at his father’s hand, trying to regulate his breathing as his throat tightened on him.  Shaking his head, he replied, “Stop it Father.  You’re here, because you already know what Air and I need from you.  Why ask me of it further?”

   Armundae’s smile straightened for a brief moment as he said, “Don’t talk back to your father.  You ask for my guidance, and I’m giving it to you.”  After a pause, he smiled again, walking up to Elianaron as he continued, “My son, as I said, whether or not you are doing alright in life is a question only you can answer.  You feel you are failing somehow, or perhaps are not doing good enough.  Tell me what you feel is wrong, and I’ll do my best to help you feel better about it.”

   Glancing for a moment back at his unfinished song, Elianaron sighed, lowering his eyes as he looked back to his father.  “I—I’m not sure, Father.  I guess…Air and I, we want to know if we’ve pleased you Father.  We want to know if you’re proud of our choices…where we’ve come…and where we’re going.”

   The echidna’s eyes widened in shock, even though he already knew the true nature of both his sons’ problems.  The smile fell from his lips, and though he was only a spirit, he stepped forward and embraced his son.  Elianaron, who wasn’t sure what to expect, could feel his father’s arms wrapped around him securely.  He returned the hug, unsure if he even could or not, but found he could feel his arms fold across his father’s back as if he were alive and really standing their with him, and not just his spirit come back to comfort him.

   “I…have never lived a moment where I wasn’t proud of you and your brother, Elianaron.  You have struggled without me, but have gone beyond what I ever dreamt you would endure.  Yes…I could only see you following in my footsteps, and while this was not at all what happened, I am only more proud, of where you’ve come from, where you are, and where you’re going.  I…I know you trust this, my son, but it is hard to have faith when you feel you’re at your weakest.  I understand this, and so…I’m here.  It is all because you needed me,” Armundae explained.

   Elianaron’s nerves had stopped rocking him with pain and now quivered into nothing as he felt his very being melt into numbness.  The hold he had on his father failed as he lost the feeling in and control of his arms.  His legs shook miserably as he felt tears form in his eyes.  Armundae opened his eyes, and would have cried himself were he not still shrouded by the everlasting.  Taking on the weight of his son, he held on to Elianaron tightly and whispered, “Shh, there’s no need to weep Elianaron.”  Looking around he walked Elianaron over to the nearby couch, helping him up on it, before sitting down beside, him, allowing his son to rest in his lap.

   Before Armundae could move to comfort his son, Elianaron cried, “I’m so sorry Father.  I’m so sorry.  I—I…you don’t know how much it means…to hear it.  Air and I always knew you were proud of us no matter what…but…I trust it again.  I don’t know why I lost faith…I’m just…so sorry.”

   With a smile, Armundae shook his head as he stroked Elianaron’s hair, whispering, “Oh my son, to lose trust is just a weakness that is part of life.  The fact that you rail against weakness on a daily basis is a sign of your strength.  You cannot help that there will be times when you can no longer hold it off.  Letting go of pain and weakness is what makes you strong, so do not apologize for faltering.  It would be a mistake to deny yourself the right to weep and plead for guidance.  I…am not angered that you lost faith.  I am overjoyed…that you seek comfort from me still.  I am here, for you needed me; what do you ask of me my son?  Let your father hear your pleas.”

   Though the tears stung his eyes, Elianaron looked up at his father, trying to control himself.  Armundae smiled and said, “You both have your mother’s beautiful eyes.  They look at world through my eye shape, but pierce the hearts they gaze at with that clear, icy blue light.  How I love them.”

   A smile broke free and graced Elianaron’s lips.  His voice quivering, “I—I love you father.  I was going to ask you what to do about proposing to Hannah…but I…I think I know what I need to do now.  I’m just glad to know you’re still looking after…and are proud of me…even though, I knew it all along.  It helped…to hear it.”

   Armundae smiled; closing his eyes, he whispered, “It does my spirit well to know this Elianaron…or perhaps you prefer your nickname?”

   Sitting up halfway, Elianaron rubbed his eyes and said, “Oh no, it’s alright Father; I don’t care what you call me.  Ell is just…easier to say several times in a conversation.”

   Letting out a soft chuckle, Armundae replied, “Your nickname is the pronunciation of the twelfth letter of the alphabet, and your brother’s is borrowed from the atmosphere.  How the village elders would be tickled with joy.”

   With a laugh, Elianaron exclaimed, “If you think they’d laugh at ours, you should hear Hidama’s and Knuckles’ nicknames.  Knuckles’ friends call him Knucklehead and Hidama’s call him Hidamino!”

   Both Elianaron and Armundae laughed gleefully for a few moments, before finally relaxing, only to look to each other once more.  Placing a hand on Elianaron’s shoulder, Armundae said, “I never properly asked your mother to marry me Elianaron.  We weren’t married until after she, you and your brother were accepted into the Angel Island tribe.  Though I felt married to her in spirit, it still should have come first, even I acknowledge this.  However, we are willing to take responsibility for it out of love for you both.  We’d never trade you away.  …Still, I remember that last night I spent with her after I first met her.  Growing up on Angel Island I was paired up with maiden after maiden and felt nothing, and yet, after a brief stay with Aerealei I knew she was the one.  I felt it in my heart…it gripped my spirit with undeniable trust…that she would bear my children, and I an everlasting love for her, even after my dying days.  And so that night, I told her this.  That trust I felt…it got me through anything that sought to hinder me.  I knew, I trusted…that no matter what happened, good or bad, we were meant to be together, so there was nothing that could mess it up, or any flaw of mine that could do the same.  I think…that is all you need to remember.  If you do, and you trust it, you’ll be alright, both you and Hannah will.  It certainly worked out that way for us.”

   Elianaron gazed at his father’s spirit, slowly processing everything his father said, until at last, a smile graced his lips again.  Leaning forward, he embraced his father again and said, “Thank you Father…once again, I know my way…only, I think maybe I knew it all along.  I just…needed to have you encourage me once more.”

   Returning the hug, Armundae sighed warmly and whispered, “That’s why I’m here Elianaron.  I’m always with you in spirit, but because you needed me, I made visible to you what was there all along.  It’s just a good thing I’m a spirit, or I’d be as banged up as you and your brother, for I took every blow you’ve received in your life with you.  As long as I’m able, I’ll let nothing destroy you.  You shall live happily and as well as you can, until your time comes to be with me again.”

   Looking up as his father, Elianaron added with a sleepy yawn, “I’m sorry about those bullets Father.  I…I know I could have avoided slashing that guy.  I hope I did not upset you.”

   Armundae gazed at his son for a moment, before gently kissing him on the top of his head.  He then helped Elianaron lie down in his lap again as he replied, “In self-defense only should you raise a sword or fist to fight.  You, my son, were staring death in the face.  You did the best you could with what you had as always, and just as you always have, you had me to protect you, when things went awry.  Do not be troubled; I could never be angry with you.”  The echidna paused, his smile weakening, as if he was gripped with sadness.  He added, “I love you my son.  I know your brother needs me, and so I shall speak to him.  Remember…I’m always beside you, for I can be wherever you are, and your brother, and even your mother, all in the same moment.  Guardian angels are special like that; so do not fear.  As long as you are meant to live, so shall it be.  Should you ever feel afraid or unsure again, I will come to you.  I may not always make myself visible, but I am there.  Remember this, and you can conquer whatever stands to destroy you, be it persecution, or a demon haunting your heart.”

   Elianaron would not take his eyes off his father’s face as he felt sleepiness takeover his eyes.  He did not want Armundae to leave him, and yet…as he took in the last of his father’s words, he smiled in defiance of fear, for he knew that Armundae was always with him.  Besides, he knew his twin needed to see him too.  He had asked his father for help, and he received it, and so much, much more.

   “I—I know father, and I’ll never…ever forget,” Elianaron murmured.  Closing his eyes, he let out with a yawn, “I love you Father…thank you.”

   With one more smile, Armundae whispered, “I love you too, my son.  It does my spirit good, to hear you say you’re at rest.”  Looking out at the rain-filled night, he added, “Now, I must help your brother.  Please…be at peace.”

   His words faded away into the end of a dream, at least that’s the first thought that crossed Elianaron’s mind as he woke up from his nap, lying on the couch where his father left him, Armundae’s spirit no longer with him.  As Elianaron sat up, he noticed the lights were at full strength again, and wondered for a moment if it was all just a dream.  Yet, as he sat up, he noticed the spot on the couch where his father once sat still remained depressed, marking where he was, though he no longer rested there.

   A smile crept to Elianaron’s lips as he realized it wasn’t a dream.  His father had spoken to him; he saw his father again after nearly thirteen years.  All the words they shared were real.  Elianaron’s faith was restored.  He knew what to do now.

   “I think maybe I knew it all along.  I just…needed to have you encourage me once more,” Elianaron could remember saying, “I’ll never, ever forget.”

   “Yeah…,” Elianaron murmured.  Closing his eyes, he could feel a tear break through his lids and roll down his cheek.  He added, “I know what to do now.  If I ever feel lost again, I know you’re here to guide me…”

   A low rumble of thunder announced the departure of the storm, causing Elianaron to raise his head and open his eyes to gaze upon it.  As he walked up to the window, he noticed a half-finished can of root beer sitting on the table beside a yellow, number two pencil, and those sheets of music and lyrics that gave him so much trouble only hours before.  With a smile, he sat down and gazed at those troublesome chords, only to realize that now he knew exactly how they should be played.  Inspired by his father, in more ways than one, Elianaron finished the song, and now it was ready for the wedding reception, just a week away.

   With a sigh of content, Elianaron finished his root beer, looking at those pictures on his wall again.  His eyes were drawn to a picture of his twin and Camillia, and he could feel his heart overflow with warmth when he thought of their happiness.  His eyes then fell to the face of his dear Hannah.  After a few moments, he shook his head and whispered, “I can do it now…there’s no flaw of mine that can stand in my way anymore,” quoting his father.  “My father knows it, and now I know it too.”

   He heard the lock on the front door being opened, and as he looked to it, he saw Hannah walk into the room from behind it, her coat wrapped around her tightly, and her hair soaked from the rain.  Chuckling softly, Elianaron asked, “Are you alright Hannah?  You look so wet and cold.”

   While he took her coat off her shoulders, she laughed and said, “I lost my umbrella at work so yeah, I got pretty wet.  I’m okay though.”  After her coat was hung up in the closet, she asked, “Did you finish the song?”

   After a brief pause, Elianaron smiled and said, “Yeah…I did.  This is going to be one heck of a party…”  Lowering his eyes, he thought of his new idea, and murmured, “And not just for my twin either.”

   Walking up to Elianaron, Hannah gazed at him curiously and asked, “What did you say?”

   “…Nothing.  Just thinking out loud,” Elianaron said with a smile.

   Letting out a yawn, Hannah giggled and said, “Whatever you say Ell.  …I think I’m going to get some sleep.  …Goodnight Ell.”  She gently kissed him on the cheek and turned to walk to her room.

   However, Elianaron pulled her back, hugging her tightly as he kissed her.  As he pulled away, he replied, “Goodnight Hannah.  I love you.”

   “Hee hee…I love you too Ell,” she replied.

   The hybrid echidna watched as Hannah went into her room.  He sighed once more, before turning off the lights, ready for sleep himself.  He paused, and gazed at the impression on the couch once more.  With a smile, he whispered, “I love you…Father.”

   Though Elianaron went to sleep that night believing his father was heading straight for Aranelion’s apartment to speak with him, Aranelion did not meet his father’s spirit that night.  Infact, he didn’t see Armundae at all; an entire week passed, as did Valentine’s Day, and the eve of the wedding arrived without his father showing himself to speak.

   On this night, Aranelion had returned to Elianaron’s apartment, while Hannah spent the night with Camillia.  The twins stayed up late, talking about everything from good times they had in their youth, to how well they were living now, and even how they imagined themselves living in the future.  Elianaron proposing to Hannah became the subject towards the end of evening, and yet was probably the most short-lived one of all they discussed.  Aranelion listened as Elianaron spoke so confidently about proposing to her, even though he guarded the secret of how he planned to, only promising he would, “very soon.”

   Aranelion was floored.  Not only had Elianaron made a complete one-eighty when it came to his confidence about proposing to Hannah, but he sounded happier and more confident in general.  Elianaron never mentioned speaking to Armundae, still trusting that Aranelion would get his chance to speak with their father, and probably already convinced that he had had this opportunity, and only suffered from pre-wedding jitters.  Perhaps if he shared this with Aranelion, he’d learn his twin had yet to receive such a visit, and thus fears he once shared with Elianaron, remained to taunt him.

   Later that night, Aranelion slept in his old bedroom, the one that Hannah slept in, although she had not officially moved in with Elianaron.  As it grew later into the night, Aranelion had to struggle to fall asleep, and was failing miserably.  He stared at the ceiling, only the dim light of a nightlight and the streetlights outside his window allowing him to see the intricate textures above him.  He knew he should be sleeping, but he was plagued with questions, and not just fears.

   Sure, he was nervous about the wedding.  He trusted in his love with Camillia; that wasn’t the issue.  He worried if he could be the husband she needed.  He hoped he could give her all of the love and happiness she deserved.  He loved her with all of his heart; the last thing he wanted was to fail her in some way.

   And then, there was the optimism of his twin Elianaron.  He and Elianaron used to be able to talk about these same fears with empathetic hearts, and now Elianaron spoke of his love for Hannah with such confidence that he acted as though he no longer worried about the things that Aranelion did.

   Where did this confidence come from?  What secret strength had Elianaron tapped in to that gave him such confidence in himself?  Why couldn’t Aranelion feel that same confidence in himself?

   “Oh Father…I don’t understand it.  A week ago Elianaron and I both wanted nothing more than to speak to you again so you could ease our worries.  We both wondered if you were proud of us.  We shared fear in failing the ones we love.  We wanted to hear your voice, so we could be strong again.  Now, he speaks as if he no longer needs this.  Where did he succeed…where have I failed?  Father?  Did you speak to him and not to me?  What am I doing wrong?” Aranelion asked in a whisper.

   In that instant he felt a breeze blow by him.  He sat up, gazing at the windows in his room curiously.  None of them were opened, and yet he was almost certain that he felt a warm breeze blow by him.  Where could it have come from?

   He glanced up at one of the air conditioning vents, high on the wall, near the ceiling.  He wondered if the heater had been turned on by accident.  No, that couldn’t be it.  That warm breeze felt like it had blown right by him.  That vent couldn’t be responsible.

   Sitting on the edge of the bed, Aranelion shook his head and asked aloud, “Where did that breeze come from?  What does it want?”

   He closed his eyes, lowering his head as he waited for a reply, almost certain he would receive one even as logic reasoned against it.

   And then, he heard it.

   “What makes you believe you are at fault, my son?”

   A constricted gasp escaped Aranelion as he opened his eyes.  Just as Elianaron had beheld a week before, he could see the spirit of his father, Armundae, standing near the door into his room.  His arms were folded, his eyes closed, and his head lowered.  As Aranelion gazed at him, tears forming in his eyes and his legs shaking, Armundae opened his eyes and returned the glance with his amethyst eyes.

   He smiled and replied, “Oh Aranelion…you must give your father some time between visits.  We can’t just appear to the mortal as we please.  It takes a little time.  Besides, I thought now would be the best time to talk to you…we can address all of the fears you have while they are at their worst.”

   Aranelion stood up and took two steps towards his father.  Before he could reach him however, he murmured, “Fa—Father…?  I…I…,” before slumping to the ground.

   Filled with all the horror a spirit could fall victim to, Armundae cried out, “Aranelion!” as he knelt down beside his son.  Though he was only a spirit, just as he had before with Elianaron, he lifted Aranelion up, pulling him into his arms as he sat on the floor.  He looked at Aranelion’s face for a sign of life, relieved to see his eyes close tighter for a brief moment before he opened them slowly.

   With a sigh of relief, Armundae placed a hand on Aranelion’s face and said, “Thank goodness.”  He paused for a moment, then added, “I love those eyes.  They’re the first memory I have of your mother, her watching me innocently with those icy blue eyes.  It is a wonderful thing you have inherited from her, among many.”

   Aranelion looked at his father, confused by his words.  “You…you spoke to Ell?  No wonder he’s at such peace with everything now.  …No worries Father…somehow I trusted…that I would be blessed with similar fortune.”

   Armundae smiled at his son.  He helped Aranelion to his feet and explained, “I appeared to Elianaron a week ago.  I suppose he guessed I went straight to you, but…I cannot appear as I please, even though I am always with you.”  Once they were standing, Armundae continued, “Now…I know what burdens you, but as with your twin, I want you to tell me.  …What troubles you my son?”

   Taking a breath, Aranelion glanced at a picture of Camillia that sat on his bedside table.  Smiling weakly, he looked back to his father and said, “It’s a long story Father, a long, long story.”

Description
"Wandering to Love"
By: Jade Lightning, a.k.a. Inuyashas-hanyougirl
Chapter 9: Because they Needed Him

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   “Dear Journal, life is changing…for all of us.  I thought I was going to be lonely when Aranelion and Camillia announced they were moving in together.  I mean, I knew this was all in preparation for their marriage, in which case Aranelion would be moving out anyway.  It’s not that I’m not alright on my own, I just…Aranelion’s been my constant companion…more than just my twin brother, but my best friend, for my entire life.  I didn’t know how I’d feel about us living apart, even when he’s just a few floors above me.  I’m just fortunate to have Hannah in my life.  She’s spent more and more and time over here as the weeks pass and Aranelion and Camillia’s wedding date draws ever closer.  Actually, we’ve talked about moving in together ourselves.  Does that mean…we’re almost ready to start the walk on the road to marriage ourselves?  I swear, it’s times like this, when no journal entry can substitute for a nice long talk with my father, Armundae.  I wish…I wish he would come to me, if but one last time.”

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   Plans for one of the largest weddings Starshine Town would ever seen were underway, while at the same time those involved continued living their lives.  Isaac and Lucie were back reporting the weather and news, Auron was back to delivering pizzas, Lairen continued working for her step-brother’s catering business, while Aranelion and Elianaron returned to playing music at Kawai’s, much to the joy of their many fans.  Camillia had more time to herself; after the big wedding show she only had a few jobs over the next two months; plenty of time to plan for her own big day, while Hannah, as she grew closer to Elianaron, continued her work at the hospital.

   After the drama of those past months and the relief of the holidays, business as usual was actually welcome and embraced.  What was once mundane, was now a beautiful thing.  It meant stability; it meant that everything was alright, and that nothing was wrong, at least on a dramatic level.  Still, the little problems from day to day were nothing compared to nearly losing both Brokenstar twins to terrible injuries.

   Though his hands were both broken in the accident, Aranelion was able to play piano again, as both had healed while he was comatose.  His hands ached him a bit, but not enough to deter him from pursuing his love for music.  It was just another blessing for him, this full recovery from the brink of death.

   Elianaron felt similar fortune.  After suffering from a wide array of injuries, and recovering from them with ease and perfection, finding the same luck with bullet wounds was comforting.  He knew he and his brother weren’t immortal or immune to decay, but it was nice to know they had easily, and sometimes not so easily, survived anything life threw at them.  They were strong, nearly impossible to defeat.

   They had both grown into strong, young men, their mother raving about the kind of warriors they had become.  They were everything she and their father had dreamed they would be.  This was something to cross their ears before she left, and though they did not speak it, it got them thinking about their father again.

   Was he really proud of him?  We’re they really what he had dreamt they would become?  When Armundae held his baby twins in his arms, did he envision them defeating an army of mutants, ten-thousand strong, in the name of him and all echidnas?  Well, sure he didn’t.  He didn’t know that he would be taken from them when they were only eight.  He didn’t once imagine that he would be taken from them so quickly.

   He probably saw them growing up on Angel Island with their distant cousins, Hidama and Knuckles, as well as the children of the other captain, in glory and splendor.  They would never be in want of anything, and would be the most important members of the village, save the sons of the Guardian alone, for Armundae was the older captain, giving Aranelion and Elianaron a slight leg above the other captain’s children.  Though they were of mixed blood, simply being twins would give them advantages too, as twin births were celebrated and honored in the echidna culture, a sign of good fortune, especially when they were born to someone of great importance, such as one of the Captains of the Guardian.

   Yeah, some fortune they were.  Sure, they were beloved by the entire village, even when the hedgehogs of their mother’s race hated them.  The echidnas loved them, and offered them the only tender love and care that they would receive from anyone besides their parents for a good chunk of their lives.  They believed the twins were a sign of good years to come.  And then, only eight years into their “blessed” lives, Angel Island was besieged, nearly all her people killed, and her glory lost forever, only living on through the lives of her soul survivors; little Knuckles, as he emerged from a bush the morning after that bloody night; young Hidama, growing up abused and nearly killed by their persecutors; and the dear Brokenstar Twins, safe in the home of their mother’s people.

   Things had not turned out how Armundae had dreamt they would.  Their mother lived on.  Perhaps they became what their mother dreamed they would be in the wake of the death of their father, but this was only after she had to rework her dreams.  How could they know if they grew into what their father wanted them to be?  He traveled a lot yes, but he could never begin to imagine them living in a big city like Starshine Town, playing piano and singing together in a night club, making so many fans and becoming so successful because of this gift of music.

   They had traveled the world, living out one dream they knew their father would be proud of.  They had saved lives, avenged death; they had solved crimes, brought lawbreakers to justice.  They had met untold amounts of people, all on different walks of life, and had learned and seen so much in their short lives that this wealth of knowledge was worth more than gold to so many, and their father as well.

   But was that enough?  He had dreamt about his boys taking his place beside the new Guardian, Hidama.  Sure, this was impossible now, so…it begged the question.  Was he proud of the path in life they had found and taken without him?

   It sounded like the fears of two small boys still deeply scarred by the death of their father.  Of course their father was proud of them; he would love them and be happy with what they became no matter what path they chose or how they made their way to it.  It just wasn’t that easy for Aranelion and Elianaron to accept.  Their father couldn’t walk up to them and say it.  They had to believe it.  They had to have faith in words and assurance they had not known for nearly thirteen years.

   They wondered how Hidama and Knuckles fared.  Maybe because Knuckles was so young he could escape feeling like he owed his father something, and thus did not build his life around what he thought were his father’s expectations.  Perhaps because he was the younger son of the Guardian he escaped that weight of responsibility.  Nobody ever expected him to become anything except his brother’s understudy.

   Hidama was only a few months older than his friends.  He was destined to become the Guardian, and he was the Guardian now.  After being rescued from Feldmort’s prisons, he had returned to Angel Island and took his place on the altar beside his brother.  Knuckles and Hidama shared the Guardianship.  After so much, they had become exactly what they were destined to be, and even more so.  Knuckles, as a small child, stepped up to fill a position meant for someone more than twice his age, and now maintained it as one of the most skilled Guardians in history, preceded only by Kashoku.  Hidama, with his brother, made history.  The brothers were the first siblings to share the responsibility…the first to even have a desire to.

   Of course they didn’t worry about their father’s expectations; they had already fulfilled and surpassed them!  If Aranelion and Elianaron couldn’t look to Hidama and Knuckles for help, who could they turn to?  Nobody in the world understood their troubles, except for maybe their father, who was also the only one who could help them, and he couldn’t do so for them anymore.

   With his marriage to Camillia fast approaching, Aranelion was desperate for his father’s comfort more than ever, a desire he shared with his twin.  As he grew closer to Hannah, Elianaron turned his thoughts to asking her to be his bride, and yet, he wouldn’t have the fortune of a coma to wake up from to break the ice when it came time to ask her.  He would have to find another way to overcome his nerves and fears.  It wasn’t easy, and knowing full well what his father had to go through for the love of Aerealei, Elianaron was dying inside, knowing his father could give him advice none could, and was perhaps the only one who could chase away the fears in his heart surrounding the matter.

   Still, they couldn’t do anything about it.  Their father was gone; he couldn’t come back.  There was no way he could help them.  As it was in the past, they could only count on each other…even while they still prayed to their father for guidance.

   With the wedding only a week away, Elianaron sat up late in his apartment.  His brother was now living with Camillia, and this was one night that Hannah had to work late.  She and Elianaron were already discussing moving in to his apartment, as he had the bigger one between the two of them, and were almost finalized with everything.  And so tonight he waited up for her, watching the rain from a storm that had raged since that morning, slowly roll down the window beside him.

   That wasn’t all he focused on.  On the table before him, he was working on the loose ends of a song he planned to play at the wedding party for Camillia and Aranelion.  It was another song he had to write without his brother’s help, and so he wanted to make sure it was perfect.  He had not written a piano score in quite some time, so he put everything he had into the music and the words.

   Still, as he scratched his head in annoyance, Elianaron shook his head, smiling weakly through a sigh as he muttered, “Aww, I’ll never be as good as Air.  He must have a miniature piano inside his head that he can poke at when he needs help constructing a chord.”  Placing his pencil down, and rising to his feet, he added, “Guitar chords are easier for me, and yet so different than a piano’s notes.  Making that transition and still having it come out perfect is easier said than done.  Maybe I should strike my guitar strings with a hammer from now on.”

   Elianaron turned and walked into the kitchen, humming to himself the few chords that still had him down for the count in their execution.  Reaching into the refrigerator for a can of root beer, he stomped his foot in annoyance.  Slamming the door shut, he grumbled, “This is stupid!  I learned the piano at the same rate as my brother, and while I think he is better than me, I’m still pretty darn good at playing it.  I’m better than most!  Did learning the guitar really destroy my ability to write beautiful piano music?  Just, ugh!  I’ll never get this right!”

   As if agreeing with him, a loud clap of thunder boomed outside, and the lights of the apartment, and the entire building, flickered and dimmed, the power nearly shutting off completely.  Elianaron stood still, even his breath escaped him cautiously, as he waited to see whether the power would fail or not.  It neither disappeared or returned to full strength, the lights remaining dim, giving the room the look of a place bathed by the evening sunset, even though the fluorescent light wasn’t nearly as radiant as the sun.

   Finally opening his drink, Elianaron took a good swig of it before sighing in annoyance.  “Feh, at least the light fits my mood.  At this rate the wedding dance will turn into a funeral march,” he muttered.  Looking to the table where the song and his pencil rested, he lowered his eyes and added, “I’m just going to have to ask Mom for help.  She’ll figure out these tricky chords.  …I’m never going to write a song on the guitar again if I have any intention of transcribing it into piano music.  I’m just no good at it…if I have Air to help me, maybe, but never on my own.”

   Even though he was about to give up with dry resignation, Elianaron couldn’t ignore the song as it taunted him.  It was almost finished, save the final few chords that eluded him.  This was for his brother and his soon to be sister-in-law; he simply had to get it right.  Taking another swallow of his drink, Elianaron walked back over to the table, and sat down, gazing at the bars of notes he had written and scratched out time and time again as if he hoped they would speak to him, telling him of their charms.

   He sat in near meditation, blocking out the thunder and rain, and all things that served to distract him, as he ran those notes over and over in his head.  He tried to picture his mother, and even his twin playing the song through, hoping that perhaps this vision would produce the notes he wanted.  After nearly half an hour, he was no closer to completing the song than he was that morning.

   Letting out a sigh, Elianaron turned away from the table, trying to find something else to think about.  Glancing at pictures on the wall, he gazed at the faces of so many he held dear, and yet, one face among them was missing.  The face of his father Armundae.

   “Oh Father,” Elianaron sighed, “I know you don’t know much about piano music, and yet I wish I could talk to you now more than ever.  I—I want to ask Hannah to marry me, but, I don’t know.  I asked Aranelion how he planned to propose to Camillia, and, heh, he told me he was never really sure.  We both never figured it out; he was just lucky everything worked out in his favor.  Waking up from that coma…he knew it was what Camillia wanted to hear, and he wasn’t going to risk it by waiting any longer for that proper moment.  Thing is…I’m not so lucky.  How can I know if Hannah and I are ready for this?  Do her parents like me?  I mean, she’s an only child, and while I’ve heard her say her parents are anxious to meet me…I just, what if I fail them all?”

   Looking out to the rain, Elianaron whispered, “Feh, Air and I don’t even know if we’ve done you right Father.  He’s going into a marriage he’s unsure about, not because of the love, but because he’s afraid he’ll mess up somehow.  Air and I are afraid of failure, not because of what it’ll do to our image, but because of who we’d be hurting.  I know he loves Camillia as much as I love Hannah.  Father, you had to overcome much more than us for your love for Mom…your words are worth more than anything to me now, and yet I cannot hear them.  I know Air feels the same.  We just wish we could talk to you again…where’s that assurance that all will be alright?  Where’s that light in father’s eyes to guide the lost sons?  Are we…doing okay Father?”

   A low rumble of thunder caused Elianaron to shiver as he listened to the silence that followed.  Before he could return to the song, he heard a whisper come from behind him.

   “That, is a question only you can answer, my son.”

   Elianaron gasped, not simply because he heard the voice, but because he vaguely recognized the tone of it.  A rich tenor voice, maybe a few steps below his own, rich and warm, allowing a soft chuckle to give it life just as the wind brought breath to the air.  He could not answer as he trembled, trying to reason with himself, not because it was there, but because of who it was.

   “That indeed, is an answer you find in your own image.  I, can only tell you my opinion of it.  Whether you accept my words or not, is your own prerogative.”

   Closing his eyes, Elianaron felt a tear try to break through them.  He turned around slowly as he spoke, plagued with a tremble, “But…what can I do when my own image is based on your opinion of it…Father?”

   As he opened his eyes, he could see the spirit of his father, Armundae, standing before him, his arms folded across his chest, gazing at his son with sympathetic and loving eyes.  Elianaron’s jaw fell as the trembles grew into a violent shudder.  Chills ran through him, and every nerve-ending in his body was railing against him in an attempt to bring to life the torrent of emotions tearing through him now.

   With a sweet sigh, Armundae looked at his son, his royal purple orbs shining with the light, not of the mortal, but of the everlasting.  He smiled, extending a hand to his younger twin son, and asked, “What do you ask of me Elianaron?  You express inadequacy that you deem only I capable of mending.  You and your brother say you are afraid of failing.  What is it you really fear, if you fear at all?”

   Elianaron glanced at his father’s hand, trying to regulate his breathing as his throat tightened on him.  Shaking his head, he replied, “Stop it Father.  You’re here, because you already know what Air and I need from you.  Why ask me of it further?”

   Armundae’s smile straightened for a brief moment as he said, “Don’t talk back to your father.  You ask for my guidance, and I’m giving it to you.”  After a pause, he smiled again, walking up to Elianaron as he continued, “My son, as I said, whether or not you are doing alright in life is a question only you can answer.  You feel you are failing somehow, or perhaps are not doing good enough.  Tell me what you feel is wrong, and I’ll do my best to help you feel better about it.”

   Glancing for a moment back at his unfinished song, Elianaron sighed, lowering his eyes as he looked back to his father.  “I—I’m not sure, Father.  I guess…Air and I, we want to know if we’ve pleased you Father.  We want to know if you’re proud of our choices…where we’ve come…and where we’re going.”

   The echidna’s eyes widened in shock, even though he already knew the true nature of both his sons’ problems.  The smile fell from his lips, and though he was only a spirit, he stepped forward and embraced his son.  Elianaron, who wasn’t sure what to expect, could feel his father’s arms wrapped around him securely.  He returned the hug, unsure if he even could or not, but found he could feel his arms fold across his father’s back as if he were alive and really standing their with him, and not just his spirit come back to comfort him.

   “I…have never lived a moment where I wasn’t proud of you and your brother, Elianaron.  You have struggled without me, but have gone beyond what I ever dreamt you would endure.  Yes…I could only see you following in my footsteps, and while this was not at all what happened, I am only more proud, of where you’ve come from, where you are, and where you’re going.  I…I know you trust this, my son, but it is hard to have faith when you feel you’re at your weakest.  I understand this, and so…I’m here.  It is all because you needed me,” Armundae explained.

   Elianaron’s nerves had stopped rocking him with pain and now quivered into nothing as he felt his very being melt into numbness.  The hold he had on his father failed as he lost the feeling in and control of his arms.  His legs shook miserably as he felt tears form in his eyes.  Armundae opened his eyes, and would have cried himself were he not still shrouded by the everlasting.  Taking on the weight of his son, he held on to Elianaron tightly and whispered, “Shh, there’s no need to weep Elianaron.”  Looking around he walked Elianaron over to the nearby couch, helping him up on it, before sitting down beside, him, allowing his son to rest in his lap.

   Before Armundae could move to comfort his son, Elianaron cried, “I’m so sorry Father.  I’m so sorry.  I—I…you don’t know how much it means…to hear it.  Air and I always knew you were proud of us no matter what…but…I trust it again.  I don’t know why I lost faith…I’m just…so sorry.”

   With a smile, Armundae shook his head as he stroked Elianaron’s hair, whispering, “Oh my son, to lose trust is just a weakness that is part of life.  The fact that you rail against weakness on a daily basis is a sign of your strength.  You cannot help that there will be times when you can no longer hold it off.  Letting go of pain and weakness is what makes you strong, so do not apologize for faltering.  It would be a mistake to deny yourself the right to weep and plead for guidance.  I…am not angered that you lost faith.  I am overjoyed…that you seek comfort from me still.  I am here, for you needed me; what do you ask of me my son?  Let your father hear your pleas.”

   Though the tears stung his eyes, Elianaron looked up at his father, trying to control himself.  Armundae smiled and said, “You both have your mother’s beautiful eyes.  They look at world through my eye shape, but pierce the hearts they gaze at with that clear, icy blue light.  How I love them.”

   A smile broke free and graced Elianaron’s lips.  His voice quivering, “I—I love you father.  I was going to ask you what to do about proposing to Hannah…but I…I think I know what I need to do now.  I’m just glad to know you’re still looking after…and are proud of me…even though, I knew it all along.  It helped…to hear it.”

   Armundae smiled; closing his eyes, he whispered, “It does my spirit well to know this Elianaron…or perhaps you prefer your nickname?”

   Sitting up halfway, Elianaron rubbed his eyes and said, “Oh no, it’s alright Father; I don’t care what you call me.  Ell is just…easier to say several times in a conversation.”

   Letting out a soft chuckle, Armundae replied, “Your nickname is the pronunciation of the twelfth letter of the alphabet, and your brother’s is borrowed from the atmosphere.  How the village elders would be tickled with joy.”

   With a laugh, Elianaron exclaimed, “If you think they’d laugh at ours, you should hear Hidama’s and Knuckles’ nicknames.  Knuckles’ friends call him Knucklehead and Hidama’s call him Hidamino!”

   Both Elianaron and Armundae laughed gleefully for a few moments, before finally relaxing, only to look to each other once more.  Placing a hand on Elianaron’s shoulder, Armundae said, “I never properly asked your mother to marry me Elianaron.  We weren’t married until after she, you and your brother were accepted into the Angel Island tribe.  Though I felt married to her in spirit, it still should have come first, even I acknowledge this.  However, we are willing to take responsibility for it out of love for you both.  We’d never trade you away.  …Still, I remember that last night I spent with her after I first met her.  Growing up on Angel Island I was paired up with maiden after maiden and felt nothing, and yet, after a brief stay with Aerealei I knew she was the one.  I felt it in my heart…it gripped my spirit with undeniable trust…that she would bear my children, and I an everlasting love for her, even after my dying days.  And so that night, I told her this.  That trust I felt…it got me through anything that sought to hinder me.  I knew, I trusted…that no matter what happened, good or bad, we were meant to be together, so there was nothing that could mess it up, or any flaw of mine that could do the same.  I think…that is all you need to remember.  If you do, and you trust it, you’ll be alright, both you and Hannah will.  It certainly worked out that way for us.”

   Elianaron gazed at his father’s spirit, slowly processing everything his father said, until at last, a smile graced his lips again.  Leaning forward, he embraced his father again and said, “Thank you Father…once again, I know my way…only, I think maybe I knew it all along.  I just…needed to have you encourage me once more.”

   Returning the hug, Armundae sighed warmly and whispered, “That’s why I’m here Elianaron.  I’m always with you in spirit, but because you needed me, I made visible to you what was there all along.  It’s just a good thing I’m a spirit, or I’d be as banged up as you and your brother, for I took every blow you’ve received in your life with you.  As long as I’m able, I’ll let nothing destroy you.  You shall live happily and as well as you can, until your time comes to be with me again.”

   Looking up as his father, Elianaron added with a sleepy yawn, “I’m sorry about those bullets Father.  I…I know I could have avoided slashing that guy.  I hope I did not upset you.”

   Armundae gazed at his son for a moment, before gently kissing him on the top of his head.  He then helped Elianaron lie down in his lap again as he replied, “In self-defense only should you raise a sword or fist to fight.  You, my son, were staring death in the face.  You did the best you could with what you had as always, and just as you always have, you had me to protect you, when things went awry.  Do not be troubled; I could never be angry with you.”  The echidna paused, his smile weakening, as if he was gripped with sadness.  He added, “I love you my son.  I know your brother needs me, and so I shall speak to him.  Remember…I’m always beside you, for I can be wherever you are, and your brother, and even your mother, all in the same moment.  Guardian angels are special like that; so do not fear.  As long as you are meant to live, so shall it be.  Should you ever feel afraid or unsure again, I will come to you.  I may not always make myself visible, but I am there.  Remember this, and you can conquer whatever stands to destroy you, be it persecution, or a demon haunting your heart.”

   Elianaron would not take his eyes off his father’s face as he felt sleepiness takeover his eyes.  He did not want Armundae to leave him, and yet…as he took in the last of his father’s words, he smiled in defiance of fear, for he knew that Armundae was always with him.  Besides, he knew his twin needed to see him too.  He had asked his father for help, and he received it, and so much, much more.

   “I—I know father, and I’ll never…ever forget,” Elianaron murmured.  Closing his eyes, he let out with a yawn, “I love you Father…thank you.”

   With one more smile, Armundae whispered, “I love you too, my son.  It does my spirit good, to hear you say you’re at rest.”  Looking out at the rain-filled night, he added, “Now, I must help your brother.  Please…be at peace.”

   His words faded away into the end of a dream, at least that’s the first thought that crossed Elianaron’s mind as he woke up from his nap, lying on the couch where his father left him, Armundae’s spirit no longer with him.  As Elianaron sat up, he noticed the lights were at full strength again, and wondered for a moment if it was all just a dream.  Yet, as he sat up, he noticed the spot on the couch where his father once sat still remained depressed, marking where he was, though he no longer rested there.

   A smile crept to Elianaron’s lips as he realized it wasn’t a dream.  His father had spoken to him; he saw his father again after nearly thirteen years.  All the words they shared were real.  Elianaron’s faith was restored.  He knew what to do now.

   “I think maybe I knew it all along.  I just…needed to have you encourage me once more,” Elianaron could remember saying, “I’ll never, ever forget.”

   “Yeah…,” Elianaron murmured.  Closing his eyes, he could feel a tear break through his lids and roll down his cheek.  He added, “I know what to do now.  If I ever feel lost again, I know you’re here to guide me…”

   A low rumble of thunder announced the departure of the storm, causing Elianaron to raise his head and open his eyes to gaze upon it.  As he walked up to the window, he noticed a half-finished can of root beer sitting on the table beside a yellow, number two pencil, and those sheets of music and lyrics that gave him so much trouble only hours before.  With a smile, he sat down and gazed at those troublesome chords, only to realize that now he knew exactly how they should be played.  Inspired by his father, in more ways than one, Elianaron finished the song, and now it was ready for the wedding reception, just a week away.

   With a sigh of content, Elianaron finished his root beer, looking at those pictures on his wall again.  His eyes were drawn to a picture of his twin and Camillia, and he could feel his heart overflow with warmth when he thought of their happiness.  His eyes then fell to the face of his dear Hannah.  After a few moments, he shook his head and whispered, “I can do it now…there’s no flaw of mine that can stand in my way anymore,” quoting his father.  “My father knows it, and now I know it too.”

   He heard the lock on the front door being opened, and as he looked to it, he saw Hannah walk into the room from behind it, her coat wrapped around her tightly, and her hair soaked from the rain.  Chuckling softly, Elianaron asked, “Are you alright Hannah?  You look so wet and cold.”

   While he took her coat off her shoulders, she laughed and said, “I lost my umbrella at work so yeah, I got pretty wet.  I’m okay though.”  After her coat was hung up in the closet, she asked, “Did you finish the song?”

   After a brief pause, Elianaron smiled and said, “Yeah…I did.  This is going to be one heck of a party…”  Lowering his eyes, he thought of his new idea, and murmured, “And not just for my twin either.”

   Walking up to Elianaron, Hannah gazed at him curiously and asked, “What did you say?”

   “…Nothing.  Just thinking out loud,” Elianaron said with a smile.

   Letting out a yawn, Hannah giggled and said, “Whatever you say Ell.  …I think I’m going to get some sleep.  …Goodnight Ell.”  She gently kissed him on the cheek and turned to walk to her room.

   However, Elianaron pulled her back, hugging her tightly as he kissed her.  As he pulled away, he replied, “Goodnight Hannah.  I love you.”

   “Hee hee…I love you too Ell,” she replied.

   The hybrid echidna watched as Hannah went into her room.  He sighed once more, before turning off the lights, ready for sleep himself.  He paused, and gazed at the impression on the couch once more.  With a smile, he whispered, “I love you…Father.”

   Though Elianaron went to sleep that night believing his father was heading straight for Aranelion’s apartment to speak with him, Aranelion did not meet his father’s spirit that night.  Infact, he didn’t see Armundae at all; an entire week passed, as did Valentine’s Day, and the eve of the wedding arrived without his father showing himself to speak.

   On this night, Aranelion had returned to Elianaron’s apartment, while Hannah spent the night with Camillia.  The twins stayed up late, talking about everything from good times they had in their youth, to how well they were living now, and even how they imagined themselves living in the future.  Elianaron proposing to Hannah became the subject towards the end of evening, and yet was probably the most short-lived one of all they discussed.  Aranelion listened as Elianaron spoke so confidently about proposing to her, even though he guarded the secret of how he planned to, only promising he would, “very soon.”

   Aranelion was floored.  Not only had Elianaron made a complete one-eighty when it came to his confidence about proposing to Hannah, but he sounded happier and more confident in general.  Elianaron never mentioned speaking to Armundae, still trusting that Aranelion would get his chance to speak with their father, and probably already convinced that he had had this opportunity, and only suffered from pre-wedding jitters.  Perhaps if he shared this with Aranelion, he’d learn his twin had yet to receive such a visit, and thus fears he once shared with Elianaron, remained to taunt him.

   Later that night, Aranelion slept in his old bedroom, the one that Hannah slept in, although she had not officially moved in with Elianaron.  As it grew later into the night, Aranelion had to struggle to fall asleep, and was failing miserably.  He stared at the ceiling, only the dim light of a nightlight and the streetlights outside his window allowing him to see the intricate textures above him.  He knew he should be sleeping, but he was plagued with questions, and not just fears.

   Sure, he was nervous about the wedding.  He trusted in his love with Camillia; that wasn’t the issue.  He worried if he could be the husband she needed.  He hoped he could give her all of the love and happiness she deserved.  He loved her with all of his heart; the last thing he wanted was to fail her in some way.

   And then, there was the optimism of his twin Elianaron.  He and Elianaron used to be able to talk about these same fears with empathetic hearts, and now Elianaron spoke of his love for Hannah with such confidence that he acted as though he no longer worried about the things that Aranelion did.

   Where did this confidence come from?  What secret strength had Elianaron tapped in to that gave him such confidence in himself?  Why couldn’t Aranelion feel that same confidence in himself?

   “Oh Father…I don’t understand it.  A week ago Elianaron and I both wanted nothing more than to speak to you again so you could ease our worries.  We both wondered if you were proud of us.  We shared fear in failing the ones we love.  We wanted to hear your voice, so we could be strong again.  Now, he speaks as if he no longer needs this.  Where did he succeed…where have I failed?  Father?  Did you speak to him and not to me?  What am I doing wrong?” Aranelion asked in a whisper.

   In that instant he felt a breeze blow by him.  He sat up, gazing at the windows in his room curiously.  None of them were opened, and yet he was almost certain that he felt a warm breeze blow by him.  Where could it have come from?

   He glanced up at one of the air conditioning vents, high on the wall, near the ceiling.  He wondered if the heater had been turned on by accident.  No, that couldn’t be it.  That warm breeze felt like it had blown right by him.  That vent couldn’t be responsible.

   Sitting on the edge of the bed, Aranelion shook his head and asked aloud, “Where did that breeze come from?  What does it want?”

   He closed his eyes, lowering his head as he waited for a reply, almost certain he would receive one even as logic reasoned against it.

   And then, he heard it.

   “What makes you believe you are at fault, my son?”

   A constricted gasp escaped Aranelion as he opened his eyes.  Just as Elianaron had beheld a week before, he could see the spirit of his father, Armundae, standing near the door into his room.  His arms were folded, his eyes closed, and his head lowered.  As Aranelion gazed at him, tears forming in his eyes and his legs shaking, Armundae opened his eyes and returned the glance with his amethyst eyes.

   He smiled and replied, “Oh Aranelion…you must give your father some time between visits.  We can’t just appear to the mortal as we please.  It takes a little time.  Besides, I thought now would be the best time to talk to you…we can address all of the fears you have while they are at their worst.”

   Aranelion stood up and took two steps towards his father.  Before he could reach him however, he murmured, “Fa—Father…?  I…I…,” before slumping to the ground.

   Filled with all the horror a spirit could fall victim to, Armundae cried out, “Aranelion!” as he knelt down beside his son.  Though he was only a spirit, just as he had before with Elianaron, he lifted Aranelion up, pulling him into his arms as he sat on the floor.  He looked at Aranelion’s face for a sign of life, relieved to see his eyes close tighter for a brief moment before he opened them slowly.

   With a sigh of relief, Armundae placed a hand on Aranelion’s face and said, “Thank goodness.”  He paused for a moment, then added, “I love those eyes.  They’re the first memory I have of your mother, her watching me innocently with those icy blue eyes.  It is a wonderful thing you have inherited from her, among many.”

   Aranelion looked at his father, confused by his words.  “You…you spoke to Ell?  No wonder he’s at such peace with everything now.  …No worries Father…somehow I trusted…that I would be blessed with similar fortune.”

   Armundae smiled at his son.  He helped Aranelion to his feet and explained, “I appeared to Elianaron a week ago.  I suppose he guessed I went straight to you, but…I cannot appear as I please, even though I am always with you.”  Once they were standing, Armundae continued, “Now…I know what burdens you, but as with your twin, I want you to tell me.  …What troubles you my son?”

   Taking a breath, Aranelion glanced at a picture of Camillia that sat on his bedside table.  Smiling weakly, he looked back to his father and said, “It’s a long story Father, a long, long story.”