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StickFreeks [2013-04-10 02:17:34 +0000 UTC]

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Hi there! I'm going to do the best I can to critique this, so please bear with me. ^-^

I can tell where you were sort of trying to take the piece, and I really like that you attempted to include elements that artists often deem too difficult for their art like perspective, dramatic lighting, and a city background.

While the intentions there were good, a lot of technical stuff could be tweaked. The first thing I should mention is the texture on objects, specifically stone / cement. The large left wall is intrusive, busy, and quite frankly doesn't match the other textures because of its realistic quality. The red bricks and wooden fence, for example, take on a more simplified form than the grey wall and the cement beneath Patrick. The background is even further simplified, creating a strange mix of realism and abstraction that confuses your audience's sense of focus. If you plan on retaining the textured look of the wall, I would suggest adding the texture (or at least the mortar lines) to the graffiti there on the wall. You did excellent on the wood fence, I think it'd be nice if it were carried to the wall.

The lighting could be improved in the sense that it seems that a very strong source from the upper right is present, but the balconies only cast a downwards shadow. This would indicate the light is coming from both behind Patrick and in front of him.

I do realize that white Patrick is supposed to be the separation to his own "Panel", but If you were to revisit this piece, I would certainly enlarge his figure to connect completely from the top to the bottom. People will assume it's the same complete picture and there's a really weird precipice by a small brick building if you don't divide the frame for them.
Changing the sky between panels would also assist you with that. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/m/m… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title="Meow :3"/>

Compositionally, it's usually best to stick with the rule of thirds. If you shifted the whole left image more to the left so that color Patrick was about a third of the way into the picture (and the police officer's face was visible), it would compositionally be 1000 times nicer. White Patrick is almost a third of the way in, but a nudge to the left wouldn't hurt, either. That would take care of your wall problem, too. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/m/m… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title="Meow :3"/>

The last thing I should probably mention about the piece is the anatomy of jumping Patrick. (I'm going out on limb and assuming it's a past version of himself.) His rear, or at least his upper leg would be somewhat visible from this position, and his coat would have more wrinkles near his left side, where it would most likely be creasing under the twist of his hips. Shading his face with a few more red tones would probably be a good idea as well. ^-^

So those things aside, a really like your sense of adventure and willingness to do the "hard things". Your hands and emotion portrayals are really nice, especially in white Patrick. Also, I love all the detail. The minitrash on the ground, graffiti, broken glass, and the little advertisements in store windows really add to the character of the piece. I think if you just practice on composition and balance, you could easily have a really awesome dramatic piece with all the impact you intended it to have.

I hope I was somewhat helpful!~ The picture's really amazing! e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/>

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