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RoboRipp β€” The Darkness, Chapter 1
Published: 2007-12-09 20:18:03 +0000 UTC; Views: 103; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description It was morning. The sun shone in through my window, the sun that woke me up almost every morning. I hopped out of bed and ran downstairs. When I had reached the bottom of the stairwell, I sniffed the air. The scent of Delicous stacked pancakes with syrup was steamign from the kitchen.
"Middy, Breakfast is ready!" I heard Nikyla, my big sister, shout. Nikyla wasn't my REAL sister. She found me alone in the forest when I was 3. She's been a great sister so far. I couldn't have a better one.

Nikyla had lived alone since she was 6. She said she had other family, but they were seperated from eachother.Β Β Apparently she had a little sister, and a brother. I feel bad for her, being seperated so young. I never knew my family, so I couldn't feel the pain of losing it.

I ran to the kitchen. There sat a stack of 5 pancakes, waiting for me. Seeming to shout "Eat me, Middy! Eat me!" Or I just imagined them sayign it. I sat at the table, chowing away on pancakes. Nikyla set a bowl of cereal for herself on the table. She sat down, and ate a spoonful.

"So how did you sleep?" She asked me after she had swallowed the cereal in her mouth. "Good," I replied. "But I had the strangest dream. I had a dream we had tons of siblings. On was named Solksy or something. Another May. it was weird." Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Nikyla got up and answered it. "Hello?" She said as she opened the door. When teh door revealed the person, she froze.
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Comments: 9

MewNinjaTotoro [2007-12-14 20:27:22 +0000 UTC]

=O

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RoboRipp In reply to MewNinjaTotoro [2007-12-14 22:44:10 +0000 UTC]

YESRLY

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MewNinjaTotoro In reply to RoboRipp [2007-12-16 05:27:12 +0000 UTC]

YA RLY

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SharpiePantz [2007-12-09 20:29:29 +0000 UTC]

Hahahaahahah, i'm going to sound like my teacher.

It's good so far. You could expand a bit more though. Like at the start, you just made Middy hop up and run out the door. You could have explained that she was wearing PJ's or whatever ... Something just to expand it. <33

It's still awesome though.

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RoboRipp In reply to SharpiePantz [2007-12-09 20:30:42 +0000 UTC]

Middy wears nothing. SHE IS A REEEBEEL D:<

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SharpiePantz In reply to RoboRipp [2007-12-09 20:33:02 +0000 UTC]

Well, i'm not just talking about the clothing. Just expand it~

Our teacher gave us an example of a kid who wrote 4 sentences as a draft. Then she made a final copy and it was 3-4 pages.
All she did was explain more and added to the story. [:

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RoboRipp In reply to SharpiePantz [2007-12-09 20:51:31 +0000 UTC]

lol

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SharpiePantz In reply to RoboRipp [2007-12-09 21:09:56 +0000 UTC]

lol

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RoboRipp In reply to SharpiePantz [2007-12-09 23:08:06 +0000 UTC]

yeslol

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