HOME | DD

Kishinslayer1 [2020-03-27 10:39:47 +0000 UTC]

I think the writing was a bit too... convoluted? There are a lot of really needlessly vague sentances. "Once half of his figure crossed into the dimly lit space a few red flashes and sirens he knew would be almost useless - good senses could avoid much of what was coming after them - the little noises just got sharper hitting the ears under the rappidly blackening stretching hair." After about six reads of that sentance i kind of understand what it's trying to say? I'm assuming it's something like "he got into the building through some 'weakness' (I'm guessing an air vent or something?) and as he entered the vent, he hears sirens and sees flashing red lights behind him. He isn't worried about the alarm going off because he's confident he can deal with the guards when they show up. His hair grows and turns black." But i can barely understand what even caused the transformation, and when everything is so twisted it really burdens the core idea. I'm not even sure what the plot of this one is. I'm thinking it's something like "spy tries to enter base, triggers some trap (is he aware of this...?), gets TG'd, it doesn't actually hurt him so (s)he walks back to her base." I like that idea a lot, it was just very difficult to read the cap.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1