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Equality isn't about being the same. It's about being different from one another and still treating each other as having equal value. But when someone has been treated as having less worth than others for so long, equality can feel like it's not enough. It's natural to want to make amends by "getting even" rather than being even.

For example, let's say you've been looked down on and mistreated because of your race, gender, religion, sexuality, etc. Equality means no longer being looked down on and mistreated, but just being treated fairly now after finally reaching that point can feel like it doesn't go far enough. After all, shouldn't there be some kind of restitution for what you've gone through? It was a hard fight just to be treated equal to someone who didn't have to fight at all.

So, you may think, maybe if some people of a previously oppressed group demeaned those belonging to a group seen as the oppressors, the majority would understand what it's like for the minority. Maybe if members of one sex were called inherently sexist and mocked as inferior to another sex, they'd understand what it feels like for the other sex. Maybe if one race of people were called inherently racist simply for being born that race, they'd know what discrimination feels like. Maybe if the voice of people of a majority sexual orientation was ignored or even mocked, they'd know what it feels like for those of a minority sexual orientation. Maybe if enough people were judged as unequal, they'd finally get what it feels like to be treated as lesser than. But what happens when those oppressed because their ancestors were oppressors or they benefited from that system fight back and the pendulum swings the other way?

The problem with getting even rather than being even is that it perpetuates a cycle of victimhood. No one can truly be equal if they're a victim.

But how can someone get over mistreatment and accept equality? The answer is at the heart of equality itself: empathy for others different from oneself.

Empathy comes easier for some people than it does for others, but most of us can learn to draw on empathy because humans are by nature empathic, having mirror neurons governed by the supramarginal gyrus in our brains that makes us empathize with others, most notably those we are emotionally close to. This means that simply getting to know others can strengthen your biological empathic bond by strengthening neuron connections in your brain. That includes getting to know those belonging to a group seen as historically oppressive.

The truth is that being upset at injustices can be a good thing. It shows you care and it can lead to preventing injustice in the future. But sometimes that injustice can seem disproportionate to simply having the same rights or opportunities others had for a lot longer than you. It feels kind of unworthy compared to the struggle. This is especially true if you feel those long fought for rights are constantly under attack and at risk of being taken away again.

Still, just as you'd want others to get to know you and try to empathize with your struggles, it can actually help to try to understand others, even those of a group you see as part of an oppressive system.

Let's say you're a woman who had to work twice as hard as a man to make it to your position and so you may be tempted to pass over a higher qualified potential employee who happens to be a man in favor of a woman, someone you feel deserves it more because of her sex. Or, you may take a harsher route and mistrust or even hurl insults at someone of another race or sexuality because you were the victim of those insults from someone else of that race or sexuality and you feel they deserve some of their own medicine.

Whatever the case, getting to know people can separate them from whatever group they happen to be a part of. It makes them into individuals instead of a conglomerate and that allows us as humans to empathize with them and understand that getting even won't actually help us in the long run.

Because of mirror neurons, not only can we empathize but we also naturally mirror back the feelings of others. If someone is angry, it can make us angry, and so on. So, patiently listening to and trying to understand and get to know people from what you see as an oppressive group not only helps you empathize with them but also helps them empathize with you, because often they will mirror back your attitude subconsciously. If you're open, they are more likely to be open too. If you listen, they are more likely to listen too and finally hear your struggles.

So consider how you treat others and ask yourself this: How would I want to be treated? Would I want to be seen as an individual responsible for my own choices or as just a part of a group without that same autonomy? And would I consider what I say racist/sexist/etc if I simply reversed the race/sex/etc and, if so, doesn't that defeat the purpose?

If you value equality, fight for it by using equality, not inequality or getting even. It won't always be easy and in fact there will be times it will seem near impossible, but equality is worth the effort.

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

Equality isn't about being the same. It's about being different from one another and still treating each other as having equal value. But when someone has been treated as having less worth than others for so long, equality can feel like it's not enough. It's natural to want to make amends by "getting even" rather than being even.

For example, let's say you've been looked down on and mistreated because of your race, gender, religion, sexuality, etc. Equality means no longer being looked down on and mistreated, but just being treated fairly now after finally reaching that point can feel like it doesn't go far enough. After all, shouldn't there be some kind of restitution for what you've gone through? It was a hard fight just to be treated equal to someone who didn't have to fight at all.

So, you may think, maybe if some people of a previously oppressed group demeaned those belonging to a group seen as the oppressors, the majority would understand what it's like for the minority. Maybe if members of one sex were called inherently sexist and mocked as inferior to another sex, they'd understand what it feels like for the other sex. Maybe if one race of people were called inherently racist simply for being born that race, they'd know what discrimination feels like. Maybe if the voice of people of a majority sexual orientation was ignored or even mocked, they'd know what it feels like for those of a minority sexual orientation. Maybe if enough people were judged as unequal, they'd finally get what it feels like to be treated as lesser than. But what happens when those oppressed because their ancestors were oppressors or they benefited from that system fight back and the pendulum swings the other way?

The problem with getting even rather than being even is that it perpetuates a cycle of victimhood. No one can truly be equal if they're a victim.

But how can someone get over mistreatment and accept equality? The answer is at the heart of equality itself: empathy for others different from oneself.

Empathy comes easier for some people than it does for others, but most of us can learn to draw on empathy because humans are by nature empathic, having mirror neurons governed by the supramarginal gyrus in our brains that makes us empathize with others, most notably those we are emotionally close to. This means that simply getting to know others can strengthen your biological empathic bond by strengthening neuron connections in your brain. That includes getting to know those belonging to a group seen as historically oppressive.

The truth is that being upset at injustices can be a good thing. It shows you care and it can lead to preventing injustice in the future. But sometimes that injustice can seem disproportionate to simply having the same rights or opportunities others had for a lot longer than you. It feels kind of unworthy compared to the struggle. This is especially true if you feel those long fought for rights are constantly under attack and at risk of being taken away again.

Still, just as you'd want others to get to know you and try to empathize with your struggles, it can actually help to try to understand others, even those of a group you see as part of an oppressive system.

Let's say you're a woman who had to work twice as hard as a man to make it to your position and so you may be tempted to pass over a higher qualified potential employee who happens to be a man in favor of a woman, someone you feel deserves it more because of her sex. Or, you may take a harsher route and mistrust or even hurl insults at someone of another race or sexuality because you were the victim of those insults from someone else of that race or sexuality and you feel they deserve some of their own medicine.

Whatever the case, getting to know people can separate them from whatever group they happen to be a part of. It makes them into individuals instead of a conglomerate and that allows us as humans to empathize with them and understand that getting even won't actually help us in the long run.

Because of mirror neurons, not only can we empathize but we also naturally mirror back the feelings of others. If someone is angry, it can make us angry, and so on. So, patiently listening to and trying to understand and get to know people from what you see as an oppressive group not only helps you empathize with them but also helps them empathize with you, because often they will mirror back your attitude subconsciously. If you're open, they are more likely to be open too. If you listen, they are more likely to listen too and finally hear your struggles.

So consider how you treat others and ask yourself this: How would I want to be treated? Would I want to be seen as an individual responsible for my own choices or as just a part of a group without that same autonomy? And would I consider what I say racist/sexist/etc if I simply reversed the race/sex/etc and, if so, doesn't that defeat the purpose?

If you value equality, fight for it by using equality, not inequality or getting even. It won't always be easy and in fact there will be times it will seem near impossible, but equality is worth the effort.