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Description

i know its trash im sorry

Class Entering: memorial
Category/Level: n/a
Horse: Corey lease ref / CT Commander of the Grey - Leased out
handler: addison

music: www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZG7z4… (idk just been hitting right recently)

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this had been put off over and over because I couldn't get myself to do it. I don't handle death well it gets internalized really hard and I can't open up all that much. I broke down pretty hard. I mean I didn't know her that long so i don't really talk about it because why should I? I don't deserve to talk about her like that idk I don't handle things well clearly. haha. cookie was one of the few people who believed in me when i was just beginning she kept me here when all i wanted to do was rage quit and leave. she wouldn't let me get away with being lazy. she became super close after only a few months. I miss her randomly sending me photos and talking about her art supplies and how her boyfriend wouldn't let her go to the store because she would inevitably come back with more art stuff (it was joking ofc) I miss her and it must be even harder for those who knew her longer. cookie was a treasure and one of the best people in the community. she would call those out who needed to be, she didn't have shame she was determined. I don't really have the words to explain her and who she was other then amazing. I am defiantly still struggling with her being gone and I don't deserve to be because I didn't know her that long. I'm sorry just im sorry

my goodbye that i sent day of

"I know that you arent here anymore and that your gone and i dont want to accept that so im going to talk like youre here because i want to say goodbye. I loved you so much, you stood by my side, you gave me the courage to speak up, to be alive. I'm not confident at all yet you gave me the abilty to talk. I reached out to people because of you and i made so many friends. you are so dear to me. I might've not known you all that long but these few months i got to know you have been the best of my entire life. I never said it but you were a big reason i even joined this community. you mean so so much to me and i will forever be in debt. I feel selfish for writing this and feeling so attached as i didnt even know that much about you. I loved that we could joke and be serious and it was okay. I miss you, i miss you so much you were such a big person to me and i dont think you ever realized just how big you were to me. i reminded you a lot though. I'm so lost now i guess. I cant imagine how your family is doing. im so lucky to have met you and so so so lucky that you considered me your friend. i will continue on with your honesty and i will call out those who are unfair and biased because its not okay. I love you man I am so sorry im so so sorry I wish i was closer and i am so sad to know youre gone. the harpg community will miss you and everyone will miss you. you are loved and you are missed. "

some more because i can't help but look through the history

"she could never be forgotten she was so so dear to so many of us. she never fully expressed what ever was happening in her life which is fully understandable, i remember being on a call one night with her and she had started talking about you and she sounded so happy it was amazing to hear. the day that she went into the hospital she had been on a call and i had missed most of it and when i came back she was gone and i think that was the last time she was on. i cant imagine. i just the shock to us, im i know youve heard this so many times and i did too when i lost my father, im here and im sorry that this happened. she was way too young to go. i log into what ever discord or deviant and i just try to convince myself that this didnt happen we had so many plans, and she in her life had so many plans. it's devastating"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7IQ9d…

Description

i know its trash im sorry

Class Entering: memorial
Category/Level: n/a
Horse: Corey lease ref / CT Commander of the Grey - Leased out
handler: addison

music: www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZG7z4… (idk just been hitting right recently)

___________________________________________________________________

this had been put off over and over because I couldn't get myself to do it. I don't handle death well it gets internalized really hard and I can't open up all that much. I broke down pretty hard. I mean I didn't know her that long so i don't really talk about it because why should I? I don't deserve to talk about her like that idk I don't handle things well clearly. haha. cookie was one of the few people who believed in me when i was just beginning she kept me here when all i wanted to do was rage quit and leave. she wouldn't let me get away with being lazy. she became super close after only a few months. I miss her randomly sending me photos and talking about her art supplies and how her boyfriend wouldn't let her go to the store because she would inevitably come back with more art stuff (it was joking ofc) I miss her and it must be even harder for those who knew her longer. cookie was a treasure and one of the best people in the community. she would call those out who needed to be, she didn't have shame she was determined. I don't really have the words to explain her and who she was other then amazing. I am defiantly still struggling with her being gone and I don't deserve to be because I didn't know her that long. I'm sorry just im sorry

my goodbye that i sent day of

"I know that you arent here anymore and that your gone and i dont want to accept that so im going to talk like youre here because i want to say goodbye. I loved you so much, you stood by my side, you gave me the courage to speak up, to be alive. I'm not confident at all yet you gave me the abilty to talk. I reached out to people because of you and i made so many friends. you are so dear to me. I might've not known you all that long but these few months i got to know you have been the best of my entire life. I never said it but you were a big reason i even joined this community. you mean so so much to me and i will forever be in debt. I feel selfish for writing this and feeling so attached as i didnt even know that much about you. I loved that we could joke and be serious and it was okay. I miss you, i miss you so much you were such a big person to me and i dont think you ever realized just how big you were to me. i reminded you a lot though. I'm so lost now i guess. I cant imagine how your family is doing. im so lucky to have met you and so so so lucky that you considered me your friend. i will continue on with your honesty and i will call out those who are unfair and biased because its not okay. I love you man I am so sorry im so so sorry I wish i was closer and i am so sad to know youre gone. the harpg community will miss you and everyone will miss you. you are loved and you are missed. "

some more because i can't help but look through the history

"she could never be forgotten she was so so dear to so many of us. she never fully expressed what ever was happening in her life which is fully understandable, i remember being on a call one night with her and she had started talking about you and she sounded so happy it was amazing to hear. the day that she went into the hospital she had been on a call and i had missed most of it and when i came back she was gone and i think that was the last time she was on. i cant imagine. i just the shock to us, im i know youve heard this so many times and i did too when i lost my father, im here and im sorry that this happened. she was way too young to go. i log into what ever discord or deviant and i just try to convince myself that this didnt happen we had so many plans, and she in her life had so many plans. it's devastating"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7IQ9d…