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Originally posted July 3rd, 2011. I'm very disappointed in this image, the styles don't work together. Background music! lcweb2.loc.gov/natlib/ihas/ser…

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Ah, greetings my fellow Americans! This is your Supreme Director, John Compton speaking. As I understand it, this is the first simultaneous talkie broadcast across the Coalition. Isn’t technology marvelous?

Now, the busier among us may have forgotten, but on a little blue marble circling a small yellow star thousands upon thousands of light-years away from Columbia it is the Fourth of July. In fact, it is the thousandth Fourth of July. My my, has it been that long already? Oh how far we’ve come as a people! In one thousand years our people have come from the meek subjects of a degenerate European empire and have become the most powerful state in the galaxy! In our long history we have endured catastrophe after catastrophe but we have persevered. Through the crucible of civil wars, foreign invasions and nuclear wars, we have persevered. When other weaker empires have crumbled under the weight of history’s burden, we have persevered.
Without a doubt the young ones of our country, the next generation that shall carry the torch of American pride into the future, are sitting around their Fourth of July tree tearing open the presents bestowed upon them by their loved ones. Some of you may be confused as to what this entire “Fourth of July” business is. Well, children of the Coalition, I have a present for you too. The gift of enlightenment! It is story of our people.

A long time ago on a planet far, far away, things were not going good for the American people. They had fled their old home thousands of miles away in Europe because of the oppressive government there. For you see, the Americans’ old home, Britain, was ruled by a tyrannical monarch, just like the Conseil Systems today. These monarchs were thieves first and foremost and they stole from their people though a system they called “taxation.” They were foolish and frivolous with the money they stole. No good came from these monarchs, so the smartest among them left and became what we know now as Americans. The Americans wanted to found a society where the strongest would rule by their own merit and not be stifled by an oppressive government or shackled by the weak and worthless among them!

But the monarchs would not let them. Their greedy fingers reached across the ocean and stole from the hard work of the American people! With their slave armies they enforced their foolish, oppressive laws over a people that desired only to be entitled to the sweat of their brow! This injustice continued for years until that fateful day, July 4th, 1776, when the heroes of the American nation rose up against their oppressors! They wanted independence from the decadent kings of Britain and to found an empire that will last one thousand years! Washington, the first president and strongest among them, led the charge against the slave armies of Europe. Oh, it must have been a glorious sight indeed, more exciting than any Deathmatch game! As he cut through the British soldiers and spilled their entrails on the snow-covered ground he cried out to his troops: “We will no longer be slaves! Let each man rise and fall by his own merit!”

But how did this battle end? Well naturally, America’s finest sons crushed their opponents with ease, horrifying the British king and forcing him to give America its independence. With their independence secured, the American people went on to dominate the continent, crush a rebellion within their own territory and go on to liberate the colonies of oppressive Europe and found the greatest empire the world has ever known! Our ancestors then reached up into the heavens and populated the once-empty stars, where we live today. Without a doubt, it was American ingenuity, perseverance, will and strength that allowed mankind to soar through the stars.

But the story of America does not end there, children of the Coalition. Even if our people have endured independent for a thousand years, it will endure a thousand more. But it is your holy mission, your birthright, your manifest destiny, to make sure those thousand years are better than the last! Ahaha, and wouldn’t that be a challenge?

Now please, little ones, go back to your presents while I address the issue that weighs most heavily on your parents’ minds. I am speaking of course about the Galactic War. I am sure many of you in the audience have fathers, sons or brothers fighting on the front as we speak. I assure you that my prayers are with them and that our military is working its hardest to cripple our foes once and for all. And our boys are doing just that even as we speak! I have here before me a document compiled from various front line reports indicating that for every Coalition soldier killed, ten more enemies are taken to the grave with him. That’s the American fighting spirit, ladies and gentlemen! We’re showing those reds who’s boss! But I promise an end to this horrible, despicable conflict soon. But as we fight it, I ask for only one thing from you, my people: solidarity, solidarity against an enemy that will slaughter and enslave us if they are given the chance. Support our troops and the war effort, and we will bring an end to this war sooner.

Well, my dear Americans, it is time for me to leave. I’ve only been at this job for five years, and let me tell you it’s hard! I wouldn’t wish this position on my worst enemy! Our Union Forever and God Bless America

Description
Originally posted July 3rd, 2011. I'm very disappointed in this image, the styles don't work together. Background music! lcweb2.loc.gov/natlib/ihas/ser…

---

Ah, greetings my fellow Americans! This is your Supreme Director, John Compton speaking. As I understand it, this is the first simultaneous talkie broadcast across the Coalition. Isn’t technology marvelous?

Now, the busier among us may have forgotten, but on a little blue marble circling a small yellow star thousands upon thousands of light-years away from Columbia it is the Fourth of July. In fact, it is the thousandth Fourth of July. My my, has it been that long already? Oh how far we’ve come as a people! In one thousand years our people have come from the meek subjects of a degenerate European empire and have become the most powerful state in the galaxy! In our long history we have endured catastrophe after catastrophe but we have persevered. Through the crucible of civil wars, foreign invasions and nuclear wars, we have persevered. When other weaker empires have crumbled under the weight of history’s burden, we have persevered.
Without a doubt the young ones of our country, the next generation that shall carry the torch of American pride into the future, are sitting around their Fourth of July tree tearing open the presents bestowed upon them by their loved ones. Some of you may be confused as to what this entire “Fourth of July” business is. Well, children of the Coalition, I have a present for you too. The gift of enlightenment! It is story of our people.

A long time ago on a planet far, far away, things were not going good for the American people. They had fled their old home thousands of miles away in Europe because of the oppressive government there. For you see, the Americans’ old home, Britain, was ruled by a tyrannical monarch, just like the Conseil Systems today. These monarchs were thieves first and foremost and they stole from their people though a system they called “taxation.” They were foolish and frivolous with the money they stole. No good came from these monarchs, so the smartest among them left and became what we know now as Americans. The Americans wanted to found a society where the strongest would rule by their own merit and not be stifled by an oppressive government or shackled by the weak and worthless among them!

But the monarchs would not let them. Their greedy fingers reached across the ocean and stole from the hard work of the American people! With their slave armies they enforced their foolish, oppressive laws over a people that desired only to be entitled to the sweat of their brow! This injustice continued for years until that fateful day, July 4th, 1776, when the heroes of the American nation rose up against their oppressors! They wanted independence from the decadent kings of Britain and to found an empire that will last one thousand years! Washington, the first president and strongest among them, led the charge against the slave armies of Europe. Oh, it must have been a glorious sight indeed, more exciting than any Deathmatch game! As he cut through the British soldiers and spilled their entrails on the snow-covered ground he cried out to his troops: “We will no longer be slaves! Let each man rise and fall by his own merit!”

But how did this battle end? Well naturally, America’s finest sons crushed their opponents with ease, horrifying the British king and forcing him to give America its independence. With their independence secured, the American people went on to dominate the continent, crush a rebellion within their own territory and go on to liberate the colonies of oppressive Europe and found the greatest empire the world has ever known! Our ancestors then reached up into the heavens and populated the once-empty stars, where we live today. Without a doubt, it was American ingenuity, perseverance, will and strength that allowed mankind to soar through the stars.

But the story of America does not end there, children of the Coalition. Even if our people have endured independent for a thousand years, it will endure a thousand more. But it is your holy mission, your birthright, your manifest destiny, to make sure those thousand years are better than the last! Ahaha, and wouldn’t that be a challenge?

Now please, little ones, go back to your presents while I address the issue that weighs most heavily on your parents’ minds. I am speaking of course about the Galactic War. I am sure many of you in the audience have fathers, sons or brothers fighting on the front as we speak. I assure you that my prayers are with them and that our military is working its hardest to cripple our foes once and for all. And our boys are doing just that even as we speak! I have here before me a document compiled from various front line reports indicating that for every Coalition soldier killed, ten more enemies are taken to the grave with him. That’s the American fighting spirit, ladies and gentlemen! We’re showing those reds who’s boss! But I promise an end to this horrible, despicable conflict soon. But as we fight it, I ask for only one thing from you, my people: solidarity, solidarity against an enemy that will slaughter and enslave us if they are given the chance. Support our troops and the war effort, and we will bring an end to this war sooner.

Well, my dear Americans, it is time for me to leave. I’ve only been at this job for five years, and let me tell you it’s hard! I wouldn’t wish this position on my worst enemy! Our Union Forever and God Bless America