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RvBOMally — Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Published: 2017-06-13 01:46:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 24097; Favourites: 193; Downloads: 179
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This is my rewrite for The Force Awakens. I thought it was an okay movie, but it played it too safe and thus became Star Wars: A Newer Hope. My rewrite isn't a total overhaul like my prequel series, as it keeps much of the original film. It also keeps a bit of pottery, but hopefully they are more thematic and appropriate than what we got. I may edit this more in the future, as I recall more things I would have wanted to change with TFA.
The biggest change is in the backstory, in that this incarnation of TFA actually has one. It isn't the main focus, obviously, but it is explored in the opening scroll. This backstory is inspired by then-current events, much Kim the original trilogy. The Rebellion's victory isn't total, and that is made clear in the opening scroll: half of the galaxy is still under Imperial control, and while the Empire is not the juggernaut it was thirty years ago, it's still a great power.[1] There is a tenuous peace, enforced by the construction of new Death Stars (or "Peace Stars," as the Republic calls them). The galaxy in chaos. The Hutts have taken control of large sectors[2], and both sides are using proxies to try and destroy one another. The Second Republic's biggest problem is ongoing terrorism from the First Order. The First Order in this incarnation isn't a shiny new Empire, it's the opposite. It's space ISIS. It uses old OT-era equipment, as opposed to the shiny new designs used by the Republic and Empire. It uses terrorist tactics, like suicide bombings, kidnappings, beheadings, the works.[3] it. Like ISIS, they have control of territory:
much of the Unknown Regions. The Empire backs the First Order clandestinely, supplying it with arms and money. The First Order even has control of some superlasers, which it claims to have built, but the Republic suspects that they were given to the First Order by the Empire. However, they haven't used them yet.
And of course, there's motivation. I find the canon First Order's motives...wanting. "Make the Empire Great Again" is really simplistic, and I want to make the First Order more compelling, like better interpretations of prequel-era Palpatine. Made up of ex-Imperial personnel loyal specifically to Palpatine and his Sith teachings, the First Order didn't get caught up in the crab pot games the rest of the Empire did after Endor. The First Order is Palpatine's Plan B, his grand scheme to bring the Sith back into power should he and Vader be killed simultaneously. While the Empire proper has lost its way and is now just an authoritarian military dictatorship[4], just as Palpatine has foreseen, the First Order is motivated by Sith ideology. This ideology is one of ruthless social Darwinism, believing that the galaxy belongs to those who command the Force (the Sith) and not those who allow the Force to command them (the Jedi). The Jedi and the Republic are wrong for their egalitarian beliefs; equality is a lie, nothing in nature is equal, it is only the powerful who deserve to survive and thrive. The galaxy must be commanded with the Force, and by force. The current state of affairs is unacceptable, not just because it is disorderly, but because it allows the weak to survive and even thrive. Even the Empire has lost its way, becoming corrupted and weak. They must all be swept aside.[5]
What about the Resistance? At first, I was going to remove them, because they seemed unnecessary. Why have the Resistance fighting, when the Republic can do it instead? But I have decided to keep them to put a bit of conflict among the good guys. The Republic, like the Old Republic, is already suffering from political division,[6] particularly on the question of the Empire. Some want peace, others, like Senator Organa, are extremely hawkish.[7] The Resistance here are basically the Republic's answer to the First Order: terrorists fighting to destroy the Empire, because the Republic cannot do so directly. The Resistance here isn't the Rebellion 2.0; they are much grayer, acting much like the Rebels in Rogue One. They are willing to fight the Empire and the First Order at any cost, but their motives are to bring peace to the galaxy by uniting it under the Republic.
The film begins at Jakku, as the First Order is taking the planet and the Resistance are left behind to fight them. The Resistance troops, led by Poe Dameron, are told by Senator Organa herself that Jakku cannot fall to the First Order under any circumstances. However, the Resistance lose. Kylo Ren shows up, does some badass Sith stuff, and forces the Resistance to retreat. Poe manages to escape, and he receives a super secret mission: find this girl named Rey and take her off Jakku and back to D'Qar, the closest Resistance base. He wonders who this is, and why she's so important, but he gets no answers except for a brief hologram and a tip that she's probably at some scummy town. Meanwhile, we cut to the village, where Kylo Ren does some ISIS-style beheadings at a village and waxes philosophical about pseudo-Nietzschean Sith stuff, and then orders the stormtroopers to gun down the rest. A stormtrooper, Finn, doesn't participate. He gets some death threats from Kylo Ren, but ultimately nothing happens. Kylo Ren then receives information from his superior, Supreme Commander Snoke, who gives him a "new mission." Kylo Ren reports that he felt a "familiar presence" on Jakku, and Supreme Leader Snoke says that is very interesting.
Poe eventually finds Rey, who was repairing BB-8[8], and tells her they have to leave the planet. Of course, Rey objects, and they argue. The argument ends when they run into some stormtroopers, the stormtroopers recognize Poe, and they get arrested. However, while in custody, they are released by one of the stormtroopers, who we later learn is Finn. Finn reveals that he's been thinking of defecting for a long time, having been conscripted as a child, and that since Poe is Resistance he took this chance. The trio have to find someone to smuggle them off-world, and who do they find but none other than Han and Chewie![9] He agrees to get them off-world gratis[10], after hearing that Poe is Resistance, and they manage to make it off-world.
Cut to Starkiller Base, the newest battlestation of the Republic. Yes, the Republic built Starkiller Base in this iteration, as they have the resources for it. Starkiller Base is the brainchild of some Republic politicians who believe that superweapons can bring an end to the Empire once and for all. Senator Organa is visiting this new battlestation, and she is skeptical of how effective it would be, since the Empire couldn't win its war with the Death Stars. The politicians in support of Starkiller Base retort that the base doesn't destroy planets, but entire star systems by inducing supernovas, and can do so through hyperspace. The base can essentially decapitate the Empire in one swoop. Leia, whose home planet was destroyed similarly, objects to the morality of this, and warns that this technology could be used against the Republic. We also learn that the station is still incomplete.
We cut to D'Qar, where our protagonists are talking to the Resistance leaders. They decide that Poe should go back on duty, Rey should be sent to Naboo at the request of Senator Organa, and they have no idea what to do with Finn. Before this could be finalized, the First Order attacks D'Qar, being led there by a transponder on Finn's stormtrooper armor. There's a big battle, and our protagonists are forced to retreat again. Han takes them to Maz Kanata, who Han says has gotten him out of trouble before. Finn asks why they can't go to the Republic, and Poe answers that they can't do that because their hyperdrive shows they came from D'Qar, which would make the Republic-Resistance connection clear, and the Empire could use that to declare war on the Republic. They get to Maz Kanata, who gives Rey Luke's old lightsaber as in the canon film, and she gets her visions. They discuss the events of the OT, and notably Han is evasive when it comes to the topic of Luke, even though he readily admits things did not work out with Leia. When prodded on the question of what happened to Luke Skywalker, Han says he doesn't want to talk about it. They also work out a plan to smuggle Rey, Finn and Poe to Naboo on a new ship, cleaning any ties they have with the D'Qar system. It turns out this "new" ship is an old one: the Millennium Falcon.
Cut to Starkiller Base, which has now been completed and is ready for use. Of course, it is suddenly attacked by the First Order. A massive battle occurs between Republic and First Order troops, Kylo Ren leading the charge. The Republic is defeated, and Kylo Ren captures the base in the name of the First Order. He comes into contact with Supreme Leader Snoke, who we now see clearly for the first time is Luke Skywalker. Kylo Ren has a very pathetic talk with Luke, basically asking if Luke is proud of him now. Luke is dismissive and treats Kylo like a street animal, calling his work of taking Starkiller Base "sloppy" and that he has "yet to master the Dark Side." He also mentions how he's a disappointing nephew and a disappointing apprentice. Luke gives Kylo a new mission; Kylo asks if it's to complete the battlestation by getting more crystals, and Luke says no: his mission is to find Rey. Kylo asks who Rey is, and he's effectively told that's above his pay grade. Kylo grovels and says he will do Luke and his grandfather, Darth Vader, proud. We then cut to Kylo talking to Darth Vader's old mask, saying that he can "still feel the tug of the light," and asking him to be the best edgelord he can be.
Cut to Naboo, where our protagonists have just landed, and they are told the bad news: Starkiller Base has fallen to the First Order. The Senate is up in arms, particularly because the project was kept secret from a good number of them. Han brings Rey to Leia. Meeting for the first time in years, and there's some tension between Han and Leia, but they get over it because of the crisis. Poe and Finn volunteer to lead an attack against the captured base, and Rey asks to join, but Leia objects. It's at this point that Leia tells Rey that she's the daughter of Luke Skywalker, and she was abandoned on Jakku after Luke[11] turned to the Dark Side and destroyed the Jedi Order. Therefore, Luke would want her as an apprentice, and she cannot fall into the First Order's hands. Cut to Starkiller Base, where Luke is addressing the First Order, waxing philosophical about Sith stuff, and saying that with Starkiller Base they can destroy the Republic and the Empire. The first target is Naboo. The Republic finds out about this[12] and orders an immediate evacuation. Leia ends up with most of the Senate, believing Rey has joined her, but nope! Rey has run off with the rest of the protagonists to attack Starkiller Base before it can destroy the Naboo system.
The battle of Starkiller Base begins. The Republic informed our protagonists that the base has a heat sink problem, much like the Death Stars, and that if that can be destroyed, the whole system can be set to blow. However, the shields have to be disabled from the surface. While Poe is fighting in space, the rest of our protagonists land on the surface. Much of the battle proceeds as in canon, including Kylo Ren killing Han to prove his edginess[13]. However, a key difference here is that Starkiller Base does not blow up. The protagonists succeed in destroying the cooling systems, but upon learning of this, the First Order simply powers down the hyperlight weapon.[14] More First Order reinforcements jump out of hyperspace shortly afterward, forcing the Republic to retreat. We also have the fight between Finn and Rey and Kylo Ren. Finn loses pretty quickly, getting injured by Kylo Ren, but Rey doesn't perform as well as she does in canon. Rey is losing to Kylo Ren, constantly on the defensive, until Rey gets more memories from the saber. These memories are Anakin's, from when he was executing Order 66 and killing Count Dooku. Tapping into the rage from this, Rey hacks and slashes away at Kylo, who is forced onto the defensive. He is injured, pinned down, and Rey is about to deliver the killing blow, but then Poe shows up and tells them they have to leave, because First Order reinforcements are coming.[15] Rey, Poe, Finn and Chewie leave Starkiller base with the rest of the Republic forces.
Cut to Naboo, which has been saved, but just barely. Our protagonists are awarded for their role in the victory, and there's a memorial service for Han Solo. But it's clear that the war has just begun, and the First Order remains a threat. The Senate is now discussing more direct action against the First Order. Cut to Starkiller Base, where Kylo Ren is looking dejected because he just got beat in a fight by a girl and got chewed out by Luke Skywalker. Cut to Rey looking at that old lightsaber, and we can tell she's asking what more it can teach her. Cut to credits.
[1] Yes, the new Empire is the Russian Federation to the OT Empire's Soviet Union. It's ruled by a Council of Moffs, the imperial throne left unclaimed because nobody could agree on who should succeed Sheev.
[2] They show up in Episode IX as part of a coalition to take down the First Order, but they are only mentioned in passing otherwise
[3] It's meant to be a dark mirror to the Rebellion, and a reflection of modern fears and concerns. Much like how the Empire was the USSR in space (sorta), we need to update our villains to make them contemporary.
[4] Also extremely corrupt and with ties to Hutt gangsters; when the Imperials show up in Episode VIII, it's clear their leaders are in it for the money.
[5] Apologies to @YeahOkayCool , as I was inspired by his Plagueis survives timeline . I recommend reading it!
[6] None of this is in the movie save for being mentioned in passing. Nobody wants to hear about trade disputes.
[7] I thought having her as a general was a bit stupid, but having her in a political role supporting the Resistance by makes sense. Like a space John McCain.
[8] Here, BB-8 is her droid, not Poe's.
[9] Yeah, this is a contrived coincidence for the sake of fanservice, but no worse than what we get with Star Wars.
[10] They aren't using the Millennium Falcon.
[11] The reason he did this was similar to Anakin: he believed that only by using the increased power of the Dark Side that he could finally defeat the Empire and unite the galaxy. Unfortunately, the rest of the Jedi Order tried to have him arrested for it, forcing him to retreat to the Unknown Regions where he hooked up with the First Order, where he really got into esoteric Sith philosophy. Also, I wasn't going to have an "I am your father" scene. I'm not that much of a hack.
[12] While they have lost control of Starkiller Base, the Republic still has access to its communication systems. Our protagonists are listening in on Luke's speech.
[13] And doubtless to fulfill a term in Harrison Ford's agreement to be in the movie in the first place.
[14] One of my main complaints with the movie is that the threw out Starkiller Base too soon. It should have been an everpresent threat throughout the trilogy, which is what I have here. Starkiller Base will be destroyed, probably by a Death Star, in Episode IX.
[15] Yeah, I'm setting up a hero/villain swap here. One of the more interesting theories I've heard is that this is what will happen with the sequels: Kylo Ren will become good again, and Rey becomes evil. I like the idea of Rey becoming the apprentice Luke always wanted, and being much better at being a Sith lord than Kylo Ren.
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Comments: 108
Eeeeh, isn't that a bit of a shame as well as "unrealistic" (as far as realism is a concern in a story about space wizards and literally astronomically low-odds encounters)? In the prequels the Jedis kept the Sith underground, but we clearly see that there are a bunch of force users running around in the galaxy. Shouldn't a lot of high-midi-chlorian people join the First Order?
And honestly, are you going to deny the fans the fanservice of billion-dollar-budget mass fight scenes with a bunch of Sith murdering people left and right? It could be like that scene with all the Jedis fighting the droids in Attack of the Clones, except ... not boring and lame!
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It's more like Snoke wants to keep a tight leash on the number of people who 1) abide by a philosophy where upward mobility is gained by killing the guy currently holding the office, and 2) could actually do something about it. Having large armies of proper Sith will only lead to a lot of infighting. Dark Side users with red lightsabers that aren't taught the Sith way but are sufficiently cool on-screen anyway? That would work.
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Ah, sounds like a good compromise.
From the way you describe it, it actually got me thinking about Shi'a Islam. Snoke is apparently trying to set up a hereditary theo-monarchy, where only the descendants of Darth Vader can be true "Sith". Kylo Ren is obviously not as powerful and smart as Snoke wants, but since Kylo's his nephew and Vader's grandson he has to make do until he can find Rey. This is somewhat similar to the Shi'a Imamah doctrine, which states that only the descendants of Ali (who would correspond to Vader, the "Chosen One", in this scenario) can be true "Imams" and "Caliphs", unlike the Sunni who believe that the Caliph is a temporal leader elected by the community who has to obey the Sharia.
It's probably too irrelevant to the story to be included in the movies, but I could totally see a dissident, anti-First Order Sith movement that corresponds to Sunni Islam. This group would be an oligarchic pseudo-democracy where a council of Sith Lords elects a Sith Master, who has to obey the Code of the Sith if he's to remain in his position. To contrast with the Vader-venerating Shi'as, perhaps they could revere Sidious as the last true Sith Master before the heresy of Snokism. (Never mind that Sidious didn't follow the Sunni Sith philosophy at all, but hypocrisy in religion is hardly something new.) They could make for interesting enemy-of-my-enemy allies to the good guys in some EU story.
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I like it! The idea of the Sith tradition fracturing like the rest of the galaxy post-ROTJ both makes sense and makes things more interesting. Snoke does believe that only the descendants of Anakin Skywalker can truly master the Force, a belief that is actually reinforced by the events of the films. He wanted his own daughter, Rey, to be his apprentice, but since Leia stole her away he had to settle for tempting Kylo Ren into the Dark Side later on, as he was being trained to be a Jedi and wasn't hidden away. Unfortunately, Kyle Ren is the same emo Vader wannabe that we get in the canon TFA, and combined with the fact that he's Snoke's second choice, he isn't getting the training or attention he thinks he deserves.
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How much of what we know about Sith philosophy and practice is canon, anyway? I know the Sith have this whole thing where they, for example, have to kill their master at some point, but is that ever established to be true in the pre-VII film hexalogy, or is it just EU stuff? The impression I got from the "tragedy of Darth Plagueis" story, if my memory doesn't fail me, was that Palpatine's murder of his master came as a surprise to the victim. If that was common practice, you'd think that Plaguey would either accept his fate or take better precautions to avoid being Sheev-shived.
If you thus have the opportunity, I think you'd do well to avoid what I call the Drow Problem: A group based on distrust, betrayal and dickish behavior toward each other is very hard to portray in a realistic or even remotely sympathetic way. I'm not suggesting that you turn the Sith into a peaceful religious minority that was unfairly suppressed by the tyrannical Jedi, they should still be murderous psychopaths, but the evidence does seem to suggest that Palpatine was an exceptionally sadistic and treacherous Sith. The Sith had existed for a millennium with only two alive at any point in time, but Sheev's psychotic need to mentally torture his apprentice led to the latter snapping and throwing him down a space elevator shaft. Is it really reasonable to believe that all Sith masters are like that?
Some random ideas: Thinking about it, maybe it'd make more sense top have the Sunni Sith idolize Darth Plagueis. He could represent an older, more "honorable" Sith Order focused on increasing one's mastery of the Dark Side. They have dropped the Rule of Two due to them seeing it as a safety measure in the Jedi-dominated Old Republic, which no longer applies in a galaxy where the Jedi Order has been broken, but other than that they consider themselves the only orthodox order of Sith. The First Order has kept the Rule of Two, but has deviated from orthodoxy by introducing the messianic figure of the Chosen One and His bloodline into the doctrine of Sithism.
Then again, what I liked about the first Star Wars film (which I actually enjoy more than any other in the series, even if Empire is probably the superior movie) was that we never really got to know too much about what the Jedi or anything else actually was. It was a vague fairy tale, and it worked well. This complex theo-political crap might actually lessen the magic of the setting.
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The problem with gleaning anything about the Sith in the films is that almost everything we know about them comes from the Jedi. While we mustn't trust evil space wizards to be honest, I wouldn't be so keen on trusting their sworn enemies on the issue, either. In the films, the Sith strike me as a medley of Bad Things: power-hungry, vengeful, oppressive, angry, hateful, etc. And who tells us this? The Jedi. This does not sound like a fair assessment.
What we do know about the Sith, that's coming from an actual member of the order, is what Papatine tells Anakin in RotS. And since all of those interactions were designed to get Anakin to fall to the Dark Side, we don't get a look at actual Sith philosophy. It's just "the Dark Side will give you power over life and death." All we get is a sales pitch appealing to an emotionally distressed man's self-interest.
I can buy that Sheev was a particularly bad apple. We do have several Sith Lords to compare him with in the six films. Looking at the films, we get No Personality Bad Guy (Maul), I'm Too Cool for the Jedi (Dooku), and I Kill Children and Strangle My Co-Workers Over Religious Jabs (Vader). How do they rate on the bastard scale? Maul seemed loyal enough and was just doing what he was told, Dooku was motivated by misplaced idealism and, notably, didn't see Palpatine's betrayal coming, and Vader was evil, but he was loyal to Palpatine until his own son was being electrocuted in front of him by the cackling madman. So, apart from Vader betraying Palpatine, the only Sith betrayals in the films are from Palpatine. And he brags about it. He's also the one who genuinely enjoys being evil. All of the other Star Wars bad guys seem miserable or at the very least just phoning it in for some credits.
As for dropping the Rule of Two, it could work, as there is no one force in the galaxy strong enough to stamp out the Sith anymore. But they would still be in hiding. The Republic won't want anything to do with them, being Jedi-aligned, the Empire wants to (officially) wash its hands of anything relating to evil space wizards, and the First Order would be actively hunting them down, even if they don't have the luxury of devoting all of their efforts to hunting down the "wannabes."
As for the mystery of the Force and stuff, I think that it works for the first few movies, but after that people will want more. Eventually, the mystique of the mystery is replaced with frustration and demands for answers. I should know, I still get peppered with questions about stuff I wrote years ago.
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Being miserable seems like a reasonable reaction to having Palpatine as your boss. I like the idea of him being an abusive cult leader who took over a reasonably non-exploitative religious sect and turned it into just another tool in his quest to live forever and rule everything. There doesn't seem to be any indication that Plagueis wanted to keep his life extension research to himself, while Sidious showed no interest in sharing his knowledge with his various apprentices. Speculating based on what little we know about Plagueis actually seems like an interesting way to figure out the "true" Sith philosophy, since every other Sith we know of is either Sheev or Sheev's pupil/victim.
Hmm ... you didn't list all factions as enemies of the Orthodox Sith. It would be kind of hilarious to have the rival Sith Order only existing in the open in Hutt space. The Hutts have no skin in the humanoid Force-game, and seem at least somewhat resistant to the whole mind trick business. They could be a religious minority that's left alone as long as they pay their protection money, or even a part of the Hutt defense force as glorified mercenaries. They could make the Hutt Consortium scenes later in the trilogy more interesting than Jabba's Palace 2.0, at least.
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Come to think of it, the only Star Wars bad guy who seems to be having a good time is Jabba (and Salacious Crumb), and he has nothing to do with the greater games of Force balancing and galactic politics.
The problem with speculating on Plagueis is that everything we know about him, including his name and the very fact that he exists, comes from Papatine. Taking the movies on their own, we actually have no reason to believe that Plagueis actually existed, or if he did that he was at all interested in life or death.
Yeah, I imagined them existing in Hutt space, listing that just slipped my mind. Having them as mercenaries as partner of a final showdown against the First Order might be cool.
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If Plagueis wasn't real, I doubt Palpatine would be all "and then he was killed by someone, wink wink nudge nudge, totally wasn't me haha or was it?" Sheev's a sadistic, manipulative bastard, but I don't think he'd gloat about a murder he didn't commit.
It'd be an interesting alliance, all Lord of the Rings-style: Stormtroopers (preferably cool ones who can aim) from the Empire, Jedis from the Republic and Siths (?) from the Hutts. (Actually, this is starting to sound like a PC party in an RPG, or the Seven Samurai ...) Somehow I doubt the Hutts themselves are all that impressive in battle.
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True, he was being really smug about that.
I was imagining bounty hunters being the primary fighters from the Hutt side (because we need to sell action figures), with the Sith joining in.
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"I beg you, don't use the Starkiller weapon on our system! I'm surrendering myself!"
"Hello Surrendering Myself. I'm Snoke." *space-lazors*
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Love it, though I would have some kind of twist on why Luke turned, something like what Revan had. A greater evil maybe, thinking that by taking out the Empire and Republic and taking direct control he could deal with it more effectively. Not sure what though. Yuuzhan Vong? Not sure if they'd work. They worked alright as 90s villains but as you're trying to fit it into modern concerns, I don't think it would work.
Also if you need an 'Imperial Putin' for a potential Episode VIII appearance, I'd look into Ysanne Isard from the EU. Ties to the Empire's KGB? Check. Outmaneuvered everyone else and got herself into power through trickery and force? Check. She also managed to unite a large portion of the Empire in the EU for a time, so perhaps she was more successful here. Hell she even looks like a classic Russian femme fatale and you could potentially have her as the female villain instead of Phasma who really didn't work out well. I mean, disabling the shields on your own battlestation just because you were threatened? So much for extremist loyalty.
Since you're not as fearful of the Prequels as Disney, any chance of there having been N1's in the Battle for Naboo scene? I actually liked the 50s hotrod styling of some Prequel designs. Also I can't help but notice the poetry, the ending scene of ANH and TPM combined in an interesting well.
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While I like the idea, I don't think a greater scope villain would work for a Star Wars trilogy. It would complicate matters too much. The plot I have of the Cold War between the Republic and Empire shifts things enough as it is. Better to keep things simple.
I did have Isard in mind as the de facto leader of the Empire, and she would show up in Episode VIII with the other Imperials after the First Order blows up Coruscant and picks up the pieces. This destroys the Empire as a threat, forces them to work with the Republic, makes the First Order look really bad and threatening while keeping much of the Republic intact, and it makes sense because Luke hates the Empire.
As for Phasma, she really had no use in TFA, so I left her out. Maybe in Episode VIII she could be Kylo's lackey, doing things he can't because he's off doing something else.
I wouldn't use the N1s themselves, but something based on the design. The N1s are too old by this point.
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I'd have the Empire keep on existing, maybe Isard!Putin gets to force the Moffs to give them her pen and puts them into order, as a weaker entity though I suppose. Its just that more factions around, Empire, NR, etc, would make for better post-movie one-off movies or video games.
I agree with you on keeping the Sith still called Sith though. Its pointless to make up a new Force Order (Knights of Ren) that's pretty much exactly the same but has a different name.
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It would certainly make for a better Empire at War II.
Yeah, and keeping the Sith keeps the thousands of years of history of that order. Who the hell are the Knights of Ren and why should we care?
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Took the words right out of my mouth
I guess since the word "Sith" was never in The Original Trilogy (it was in A New Hope, but got cut here is the scene) www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfPvjW…
I cannot role my eyes enough at these choices. By all means keep the Empire visuals, but do something new with it (even Legacy did that by playing with the character types it has running around)
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Luke as Solid Snoke? I can dig it.
Really, I agree, the First Order's original aims weren't as compelling as I'd have liked. Truthfully, the whole movie felt like I was watching an updated version of A New Hope. That being said, why has Disney not contacted you to write their scripts? Because this is seriously more interesting!
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Star Wars Episode IX: Snoke Eater
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Instead of the opening to Star Wars, we get this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aHQnD…
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"From the galaxy that brought you Sheev...."
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Because I wrote this two years after the movie came out. 
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That's definitely true, I just wish movies would take bolder risks.
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Turning Zonama Sekot to the dark side and giving it a giant lightsaber? Are you reading that "Darth Plagueis survives" story too?
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Haha, I am. Fortunately for the galaxy, Sekot isn't interested. The giant lightsaber request was the planet's way of telling the First Order to fuck off, without pissing them off enough to use a Death Star.
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Wait a second... Luke, who leads the First Order, is Darth Snoke?
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What kind of a Darth name is "Snoke," anyway? If luke ever went to the dark side he should call himself "Darth Krayt."
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I actually agree with you 100%, I'm just going with the "Snoke is a Dark Side Luke" theory that was popular before TFA came out.
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Read point of interest #16 on the map. There's "Darth Snoke".
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Yes, I know. That's what I was complaining about, because "Darth Snoke" is the stupidest Sith name I've ever heard. That was the entire point of my comment, which I made painstakingly and obviously clear in my post. Are you illiterate?
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Well... English is not my native language. I've just suppose, that after Luke falls to the Dark Side, he took title "Darth Snoke" (although I prefer old Expanded Universe, rather than new Canon).
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Actually, I can totally buy this guy deciding "Snoke" is a cool name.
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so im guessing this is related to your TFA reimagined journal you created a while back?
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So I suppose Luke is off on Korriban studying old holocrons at the moment?
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Just to point out Chewie did get a medal according to the new comics, you just couldn't see it because he was holding it in his hand because it couldn't fit around his neck lmao.
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Wait, are we supposed to believe that after Luke and Han had received their medals and we cut away to the droids for a brief moment, Chewbacca sneakily went up the stairs, grabbed the medal, presumably snuck in a quick bow like Luke and Han, went back down the stairs again, hid the medal in in the palm of his hand, and then resumed the exact same position he had been in a few seconds prior to this feat on ninja-like Sasquatch stealth?
They could just have said it's against Wookiee religion to receive military decorations or something.
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Nah we just didn't see Leia give it to him, it was off camera.
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Ah, but that wouldn't have (1) served some in-universe identitarian political narrative and (2) been very funny.
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Oh I understand that it works, I just wanted to point it out for those who may not know.
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Out of curiosity, what program do you use to make those adorable little pixel logos?
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Judge me by my image editing program, do you?
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I know it might be explored in the text, but is the Imperial Stormtrooper armor the same as the First Order's? Or are they using the older generation?
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