HOME | DD

Description
April 11 2005 - May 29 2020

This is (actually was) my dog (Japanese chin to be specific) of 15 years. As you all may have already known, I lost him six weeks ago, due to old age catching up with him, despite all I did to try and help him. I know this was his time to go, but I still wish there were some way I could've done for him. Maybe I could have put him on a better diet sooner (even with supplements that could've helped him live longer). Maybe I could have called the vet sooner just when I saw him stop eating regularly (even though I might've been aware of what the vet will just do to him). Maybe I could have done something? I don't know, I just think I'm in the bargaining stage of grief right now (or just thinking that I could've done better for Mushu). But I've done all I can for Mushu and I did my best to be not only a great owner to him, but also his best friend (and father).

We got him back in 2005 (specifically July 13 2005, just fifteen weeks after his birth), when he was just a puppy, 13 weeks old. I was twelve years old, myself. He was quite small, probably slightly bigger than a chihuahua. Having had heard of his breed only a year or two ago (and being a kid), I originally thought we got Mushu from Japan, though in reality, my aunt and my mom got him from a place called Willow Creek Kennels, in Kansas. He was a rambunctious little pup, always full of energy. He used to run around the house while panting, even playing with some of his toys. I used to take him out for walks and whenever a dog barks or when he sees another dog, Mushu would sometimes puff and growl, then bark his little howl, as if he thought he was a pitbull. Then overtime, things changed, especially Mushu. He grew to be more settled and relaxed, preferring to lay down or sleep (as he was a lap dog, literally). That was okay with me, since I found myself to relax too, whether watching TV, browsing on my laptop, or even reading a book. But I enjoy that more whenever Mushu was by my side. He would always want to be with me, though he had no problem spending the day with Mom while I was at school/collage. Whenever I came home, he would know about it (or even be alert). It was also easy taking him to my aunt's house so we can both spend the nights there together. We'd also always sleep in my bed together, so we can feel safe and close to one another. Mushu would always be there for me to talk to him. We would even watch Puppy Bowl in Animal Planet (it was our tradition together). He would even lick my nose and cheeks and even allowed me to wave his paw at anyone visiting or leaving.

But he changed over time, starting at 2015, starting with one of his eyes. There was an ulcer in his right eye and it was getting bigger, though we did put medicine on it as recommended by our vet. But one night, I made myself dessert and I was sitting on my chair when Mushu came running to me, smelling my food. Then he bumped into my chair and the ulcer popped. I was scared and I felt it was my fault. I told my parents about it and we had to have bring Mushu to a vet to check him out. Then a few days later, Mushu had his eye removed, with only his left eye left, but he couldn't see really good anymore, poor Mushu. But he did had his nose, which was more efficient than his eyes. I still loved him, even if he had only one eye. I would never and I never was going to give up on my dog; I refused to give up on him. Even with one eye, he was still the same for a while, but he then slept more (old age made him more tired), only eating whenever he needed to. Mushu stopped licking my face, including my nose, but he still allowed me to wave his paw. But he couldn't eat dry food anymore, so we had to switch him to wet food, which was easier for him to take and chew. Then, when last year was coming to a close, Mushu had some urinary problems, though we managed to help him by giving him a pill (disguised in a ball of food and half of which each day), as he took it with no problem. But as the last months passed, Mushu slept more often and had a hard time standing up. I did all I could to help him. I even help feed him by spoon and stand him up to his water bowl, so he could drink. But he then couldn't eat or drink anymore. As my mom told me, I was aware those would be his final days. Not wanting to have the vet put him down (especially during the pandemic, where I would be a room away from him), Mom and I had the option to stay with Mushu and provide his final days with love and comfort.

Mom and I spent the days with him, watching TV and movies with him, keeping him close with us, and making sure he was comfortable. However, Mushu would occasionally cry and yelp, whether something's bothering him, that he feels uncomfortable, or when he needed to go to the bathroom. That cry of his gave me a lot of distress and I would weep deeply since there wasn't much I could do, except try and help him feel comfortable. But whenever he cried, Mom and I petted him and whispered gently that it was alright/okay. I've talked to him about all the times we had together (especially the great times), apologized to him about all the times I did him wrong (I might've been the best friend/dad for him, but I wasn't perfect), thanked him for always being there for me and for being the best friend and dog to me, sang him some songs, and I told him that I loved him and that I will always love him. Mom played some lullabies (ones that she used to play for us years ago) to him over and over again so he could feel in peace. Every night, I'd pray for Mushu to have his pain taken away and to filled with peace and comfort. Every night during the final week with Mushu, just in case he were to pass, I'd wish him farewell while I said goodnight to him and made sure my hand was on him so he wouldn't feel alone, though he would be still breathing. What was really sad though was that he and his spirit really wanted to keep on going, but his body wasn't strong enough to keep going and wanted to stop (and it was shutting down slowly, day by day). The day before the last, Mushu didn't cry as much anymore and went past to feeling any pain, though he did so only to go to the bathroom. The last night, when I prayed to God and said that he could take Mushu to His kingdom with Him and when I told Mushu that he was free to go because it was his time, as we slept together for the last time, I never heard Mushu make a single cry or yelp (and I still didn't hear from him on the last day following). It seemed to me that Mushu was in peace and comfortable. He was just happy that I was there for him. He wanted to just give me love (just like how he did all his life) and I loved him back (no matter what).

On that last day of us together, when we were watching TV and I was reading a book during the commercial, I noticed that Mushu was shaking and his mouth was opened, but no sound. I knew something was wrong, so I ran downstairs to get Mom and we raced to my room, just in time to say out last goodbyes and farewells as he finally passed and completed his circle of life. But just before he did, there some things that Mushu noticed during his final moment:

The last thing he saw was me and mom surrounding and looking over him.

The last thing he heard was my voice, me speaking of how this was the end, but that I'll see him again soon, some time later, and how much he meant to me, that I loved him very much.

The last thing he felt was my hand gently touching him.

And love. Just pure love.

I hope that wherever he is, in God's Kingdom in Heaven, he has both of his eyes and his eyesight again now (actually, I know he does).

Rest well in peace, my precious coocoonut, my boy. I'll see you again soon, some time when it's my time to leave this world. Until then, so long, old friend. I'll make sure nobody forgets about you. I love you, Mushu. Be happy forevermore.

Description
April 11 2005 - May 29 2020

This is (actually was) my dog (Japanese chin to be specific) of 15 years. As you all may have already known, I lost him six weeks ago, due to old age catching up with him, despite all I did to try and help him. I know this was his time to go, but I still wish there were some way I could've done for him. Maybe I could have put him on a better diet sooner (even with supplements that could've helped him live longer). Maybe I could have called the vet sooner just when I saw him stop eating regularly (even though I might've been aware of what the vet will just do to him). Maybe I could have done something? I don't know, I just think I'm in the bargaining stage of grief right now (or just thinking that I could've done better for Mushu). But I've done all I can for Mushu and I did my best to be not only a great owner to him, but also his best friend (and father).

We got him back in 2005 (specifically July 13 2005, just fifteen weeks after his birth), when he was just a puppy, 13 weeks old. I was twelve years old, myself. He was quite small, probably slightly bigger than a chihuahua. Having had heard of his breed only a year or two ago (and being a kid), I originally thought we got Mushu from Japan, though in reality, my aunt and my mom got him from a place called Willow Creek Kennels, in Kansas. He was a rambunctious little pup, always full of energy. He used to run around the house while panting, even playing with some of his toys. I used to take him out for walks and whenever a dog barks or when he sees another dog, Mushu would sometimes puff and growl, then bark his little howl, as if he thought he was a pitbull. Then overtime, things changed, especially Mushu. He grew to be more settled and relaxed, preferring to lay down or sleep (as he was a lap dog, literally). That was okay with me, since I found myself to relax too, whether watching TV, browsing on my laptop, or even reading a book. But I enjoy that more whenever Mushu was by my side. He would always want to be with me, though he had no problem spending the day with Mom while I was at school/collage. Whenever I came home, he would know about it (or even be alert). It was also easy taking him to my aunt's house so we can both spend the nights there together. We'd also always sleep in my bed together, so we can feel safe and close to one another. Mushu would always be there for me to talk to him. We would even watch Puppy Bowl in Animal Planet (it was our tradition together). He would even lick my nose and cheeks and even allowed me to wave his paw at anyone visiting or leaving.

But he changed over time, starting at 2015, starting with one of his eyes. There was an ulcer in his right eye and it was getting bigger, though we did put medicine on it as recommended by our vet. But one night, I made myself dessert and I was sitting on my chair when Mushu came running to me, smelling my food. Then he bumped into my chair and the ulcer popped. I was scared and I felt it was my fault. I told my parents about it and we had to have bring Mushu to a vet to check him out. Then a few days later, Mushu had his eye removed, with only his left eye left, but he couldn't see really good anymore, poor Mushu. But he did had his nose, which was more efficient than his eyes. I still loved him, even if he had only one eye. I would never and I never was going to give up on my dog; I refused to give up on him. Even with one eye, he was still the same for a while, but he then slept more (old age made him more tired), only eating whenever he needed to. Mushu stopped licking my face, including my nose, but he still allowed me to wave his paw. But he couldn't eat dry food anymore, so we had to switch him to wet food, which was easier for him to take and chew. Then, when last year was coming to a close, Mushu had some urinary problems, though we managed to help him by giving him a pill (disguised in a ball of food and half of which each day), as he took it with no problem. But as the last months passed, Mushu slept more often and had a hard time standing up. I did all I could to help him. I even help feed him by spoon and stand him up to his water bowl, so he could drink. But he then couldn't eat or drink anymore. As my mom told me, I was aware those would be his final days. Not wanting to have the vet put him down (especially during the pandemic, where I would be a room away from him), Mom and I had the option to stay with Mushu and provide his final days with love and comfort.

Mom and I spent the days with him, watching TV and movies with him, keeping him close with us, and making sure he was comfortable. However, Mushu would occasionally cry and yelp, whether something's bothering him, that he feels uncomfortable, or when he needed to go to the bathroom. That cry of his gave me a lot of distress and I would weep deeply since there wasn't much I could do, except try and help him feel comfortable. But whenever he cried, Mom and I petted him and whispered gently that it was alright/okay. I've talked to him about all the times we had together (especially the great times), apologized to him about all the times I did him wrong (I might've been the best friend/dad for him, but I wasn't perfect), thanked him for always being there for me and for being the best friend and dog to me, sang him some songs, and I told him that I loved him and that I will always love him. Mom played some lullabies (ones that she used to play for us years ago) to him over and over again so he could feel in peace. Every night, I'd pray for Mushu to have his pain taken away and to filled with peace and comfort. Every night during the final week with Mushu, just in case he were to pass, I'd wish him farewell while I said goodnight to him and made sure my hand was on him so he wouldn't feel alone, though he would be still breathing. What was really sad though was that he and his spirit really wanted to keep on going, but his body wasn't strong enough to keep going and wanted to stop (and it was shutting down slowly, day by day). The day before the last, Mushu didn't cry as much anymore and went past to feeling any pain, though he did so only to go to the bathroom. The last night, when I prayed to God and said that he could take Mushu to His kingdom with Him and when I told Mushu that he was free to go because it was his time, as we slept together for the last time, I never heard Mushu make a single cry or yelp (and I still didn't hear from him on the last day following). It seemed to me that Mushu was in peace and comfortable. He was just happy that I was there for him. He wanted to just give me love (just like how he did all his life) and I loved him back (no matter what).

On that last day of us together, when we were watching TV and I was reading a book during the commercial, I noticed that Mushu was shaking and his mouth was opened, but no sound. I knew something was wrong, so I ran downstairs to get Mom and we raced to my room, just in time to say out last goodbyes and farewells as he finally passed and completed his circle of life. But just before he did, there some things that Mushu noticed during his final moment:

The last thing he saw was me and mom surrounding and looking over him.

The last thing he heard was my voice, me speaking of how this was the end, but that I'll see him again soon, some time later, and how much he meant to me, that I loved him very much.

The last thing he felt was my hand gently touching him.

And love. Just pure love.

I hope that wherever he is, in God's Kingdom in Heaven, he has both of his eyes and his eyesight again now (actually, I know he does).

Rest well in peace, my precious coocoonut, my boy. I'll see you again soon, some time when it's my time to leave this world. Until then, so long, old friend. I'll make sure nobody forgets about you. I love you, Mushu. Be happy forevermore.