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Description
Super early for halloween, but whatever. I go where the inspiration goes. Art be mine, Story by . We decided it wasn't quite long enough to warrant him uploading it seperately.
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Shona peered at the mystical artifact with a mix of interest and caution. No more than four inches in length, about an inch and a half in width, and less than a inch in thickness, it was small, but that didn't mean it was harmless. She'd handled phoenix eggs the size of eyeballs, but with enough power to burn down a couple of houses. Then again, a stone of antioch could be about the same size, and had the power to heal injuries.
Gingerly, she reached out and poked it.
It bleeped.
She yelped and coiled back. Something had lit up on top of it, like a firefly caught inside. After a few seconds it went dark again, and stayed silent. Biting her lip, she reached out and picked it up. It didn't burst into life this time.
Okay... well... here goes nothing.
"Mum? Hello? Are you there?"
She held the artifact to her mouth.
"Muuuum? It's me, Shona. Can you hear me?"
She moved it to her ear, but no reply came.
No, there was something more to it than this... She was fairly sure. She tried poking it again, and resisted the urge to drop it when it lit up. There were things on the little glowy bit. Words. She peered at them. They weren't even remotely curvy or fancy, which made them a lot harder to read. But she could just about make out... Cannot Connect To Network No Signal.
She wondered what that meant.
Maybe it was a spell.
"Cannot connect to Network. No Signal!" she said.
Nothing happened.
"Screw it." she decided, tossing the artifact into the bin. Her mother had given it to her so that they could communicate easily over long distances, but the 'mobile phone' was clearly faulty or something. Why her mother couldn't just get a scrying mirror installed she'd never understand. Although in this case she was actually glad of it. She'd just have to rely on her tried and tested method, the box of calling.
She would need to get the manual.

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"I'm going to a fancy dress party."
The man gave her a rather confused look, and went on walking. Shona smiled after him.
"I'm going to a fancy dress party." she told the next woman along the street, to a similar result.
She grinned at the ingenuity of it all. 'Fancy dress parties' were a time honoured excuse that had been passed down from magical generation to generation. Supposedly they were parties that non magic people went to dressed up as magic people. She wasn't sure if such things actually existed, or if all of them were just magic people making an excuse. Regarldess, it was develishly clever.
(Unbeknownst to Shona, several black mages would have to visit the town over the course of the next week to magically alter the memories of all present to make her excuse even remotely believable. Her genuine witch's robes would, in the mind's eye, metamorphose into cheap knockoffs that any ordinary person would wear to a cheap fancy dress party)
Hopefully in this situation 'fancy dress party' would also explain why she was so very pregnant too. She was a little less hopeful on this front. She had not realised that being pregnant made you so pregnant. She thought the belly was just a rather amusing physical deviance that would eventually be replaced with some babies. She had not realised there would be waddling. Right now it was quite the novelty, but she couldn't help but think that the non magic people might have noticed.
She could just be pregnant. She wasn't sure how pregnant people got, normally. Her magical education had been light on sex ed. It didn't help that nobody measured pregnancy in a nice sensible way. She had never seen a series of diagrams ranging from "slightly pregnant" through "rather pregnant" to "very pregnant" and beyond. Instead it was all trimesters and twins and triplets and silly things like that that were just hard to apply. Without a frame of reference she thought she was fairly pregnant, but she didn't know how that translated into the normal way of measuring things? Fifth trimester with one baby? Second with triplets? Oh, something like that. It probably wasn't a big deal.
Everyone seemed satisfied with her fancy dress explanation, anyway.
Finally, she reached the Box of Calling.
... evidently it was not the box of calling people while you were fairly pregnant. She managed to squeeze herself inside, but her backside was pressed up against the door, and her belly filling all the space below the actual telephone. She briefly considered using some magic to spruce the place up, make it a bit wider, add a couple of sofas, a couple of slaves to fan her stomach... No, that would probably attract too much attention. Probably.
She took a deep breath and consulted the manual. Then, very slowly, she began the ritual of calling.
"And lo, the bell shall toll but six times..." she said to herself, reading the last part of the manual entry after she'd finished everything else. "And should thou be found wanting by the great urbane magics, thou shalt be verily redirected to the artifact of answers. Hmm."
Her mother picked up on the third ring.
"Hello, 9232-165-"
"It is I, mother!" she said.
There was a pause. "... Brendan?"
"No, Mum! Me! Shona! Your daughter? Hello?" she said, stamping her foot.
"You never call me mother!" the voice in the phone snapped back. "I can't be expected to recognise you if you're going to be weird."
"I don't know how this calling magic works. I thought I had to be wordy, or it wouldn't work. You don't channel the power of the falling water and the burning coals just to sey 'hey mum'. You have to show some respect at least!"
"... it's just a phone, dear." her mother said.
Shona huffed. "Mum!"
The voice on the other end warmed. "Well, anyway, dear, I'm glad to hear from you. How are you doing? Still, um... playing with wands? Or are you maybe thinking of going to University and getting a real job? I know a good correspondance course that-"
"No, Mum, I'm still doing Magic. And it's a lot more complicated than playing with wands! I have to use brooms too. And cauldrons."
"Of course, dear."
Shona sighed. Her mother had an amazing way of reducing her mastery of the arcane arts to something trivial. Most people would have been in awe of the ability to turn humans into toads, or keep pace with a jet liner using nothing more complicated than an ordinary broom. Then again, Shona had trouble not being frozen in awe of things like electricity and filament bulbs, and other sorts of everyday "magic".
"A-anyway... the reason I'm calling is, um, actually..."
"You need money?"
"What? No! Well... not quite. I mean, kind of, sort of but-"
"I'll get my cheque book."
"No! Mum! That's not what I'm calling about."
"Oh. Oh. Shona. Is it drugs? Please tell me it's not drugs."
"No Mum." she said, crossing her fingers behind her back. Truth be told, she might have been under the influence of mandrake root around the time of conception. It took the edge off wonderfully.
A sigh filtered through the phone's earpiece.
"So. You're pregnant."
Shona's eyes bulged. "Mum! Y-you can do magic?!" she said, looking around the phone booth hurriedly for a summoned eye, or a portal of viewing.
"... you are pregnant?"
"... yes. But- wait- I thought you- you just said! How did you know!"
"I was just working through my checklist of things you might have done wrong that you wanted to phone home about. You're too old to have joined a gang, and murder is a little higher up the list."
Shona said nothing, and suddenly felt very very angry, not that she'd been stupid and managed to get herself knocked up, but because she'd been predictable. She wished she'd cut off an arm, or accidentally signed up for the space program or something original like that. But no, all she'd done was manage to prove her mother right. Maybe she should start chopping her arm off now, just to be on the safe side.
"So. Should I be expecting to meet my new Son in Law soon?"
Shona turned red so violently that she wouldn't have been surprised if her mother could hear the rush of blood to her cheeks. "M-Mum- we-well it's not that simple, you k-know? I- I'm not an ordinary student, a-after all, I'm a witch."
"... did you magic yourself pregnant?" her mother asked, with only trace amounts of credulity.
"Umm... may- well- I didn't magic myself pregnant."
"Shona, could you just explain?"
She bit her lip.
"A wizard did it."

Description
Super early for halloween, but whatever. I go where the inspiration goes. Art be mine, Story by . We decided it wasn't quite long enough to warrant him uploading it seperately.
_______________________________________________

Shona peered at the mystical artifact with a mix of interest and caution. No more than four inches in length, about an inch and a half in width, and less than a inch in thickness, it was small, but that didn't mean it was harmless. She'd handled phoenix eggs the size of eyeballs, but with enough power to burn down a couple of houses. Then again, a stone of antioch could be about the same size, and had the power to heal injuries.
Gingerly, she reached out and poked it.
It bleeped.
She yelped and coiled back. Something had lit up on top of it, like a firefly caught inside. After a few seconds it went dark again, and stayed silent. Biting her lip, she reached out and picked it up. It didn't burst into life this time.
Okay... well... here goes nothing.
"Mum? Hello? Are you there?"
She held the artifact to her mouth.
"Muuuum? It's me, Shona. Can you hear me?"
She moved it to her ear, but no reply came.
No, there was something more to it than this... She was fairly sure. She tried poking it again, and resisted the urge to drop it when it lit up. There were things on the little glowy bit. Words. She peered at them. They weren't even remotely curvy or fancy, which made them a lot harder to read. But she could just about make out... Cannot Connect To Network No Signal.
She wondered what that meant.
Maybe it was a spell.
"Cannot connect to Network. No Signal!" she said.
Nothing happened.
"Screw it." she decided, tossing the artifact into the bin. Her mother had given it to her so that they could communicate easily over long distances, but the 'mobile phone' was clearly faulty or something. Why her mother couldn't just get a scrying mirror installed she'd never understand. Although in this case she was actually glad of it. She'd just have to rely on her tried and tested method, the box of calling.
She would need to get the manual.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm going to a fancy dress party."
The man gave her a rather confused look, and went on walking. Shona smiled after him.
"I'm going to a fancy dress party." she told the next woman along the street, to a similar result.
She grinned at the ingenuity of it all. 'Fancy dress parties' were a time honoured excuse that had been passed down from magical generation to generation. Supposedly they were parties that non magic people went to dressed up as magic people. She wasn't sure if such things actually existed, or if all of them were just magic people making an excuse. Regarldess, it was develishly clever.
(Unbeknownst to Shona, several black mages would have to visit the town over the course of the next week to magically alter the memories of all present to make her excuse even remotely believable. Her genuine witch's robes would, in the mind's eye, metamorphose into cheap knockoffs that any ordinary person would wear to a cheap fancy dress party)
Hopefully in this situation 'fancy dress party' would also explain why she was so very pregnant too. She was a little less hopeful on this front. She had not realised that being pregnant made you so pregnant. She thought the belly was just a rather amusing physical deviance that would eventually be replaced with some babies. She had not realised there would be waddling. Right now it was quite the novelty, but she couldn't help but think that the non magic people might have noticed.
She could just be pregnant. She wasn't sure how pregnant people got, normally. Her magical education had been light on sex ed. It didn't help that nobody measured pregnancy in a nice sensible way. She had never seen a series of diagrams ranging from "slightly pregnant" through "rather pregnant" to "very pregnant" and beyond. Instead it was all trimesters and twins and triplets and silly things like that that were just hard to apply. Without a frame of reference she thought she was fairly pregnant, but she didn't know how that translated into the normal way of measuring things? Fifth trimester with one baby? Second with triplets? Oh, something like that. It probably wasn't a big deal.
Everyone seemed satisfied with her fancy dress explanation, anyway.
Finally, she reached the Box of Calling.
... evidently it was not the box of calling people while you were fairly pregnant. She managed to squeeze herself inside, but her backside was pressed up against the door, and her belly filling all the space below the actual telephone. She briefly considered using some magic to spruce the place up, make it a bit wider, add a couple of sofas, a couple of slaves to fan her stomach... No, that would probably attract too much attention. Probably.
She took a deep breath and consulted the manual. Then, very slowly, she began the ritual of calling.
"And lo, the bell shall toll but six times..." she said to herself, reading the last part of the manual entry after she'd finished everything else. "And should thou be found wanting by the great urbane magics, thou shalt be verily redirected to the artifact of answers. Hmm."
Her mother picked up on the third ring.
"Hello, 9232-165-"
"It is I, mother!" she said.
There was a pause. "... Brendan?"
"No, Mum! Me! Shona! Your daughter? Hello?" she said, stamping her foot.
"You never call me mother!" the voice in the phone snapped back. "I can't be expected to recognise you if you're going to be weird."
"I don't know how this calling magic works. I thought I had to be wordy, or it wouldn't work. You don't channel the power of the falling water and the burning coals just to sey 'hey mum'. You have to show some respect at least!"
"... it's just a phone, dear." her mother said.
Shona huffed. "Mum!"
The voice on the other end warmed. "Well, anyway, dear, I'm glad to hear from you. How are you doing? Still, um... playing with wands? Or are you maybe thinking of going to University and getting a real job? I know a good correspondance course that-"
"No, Mum, I'm still doing Magic. And it's a lot more complicated than playing with wands! I have to use brooms too. And cauldrons."
"Of course, dear."
Shona sighed. Her mother had an amazing way of reducing her mastery of the arcane arts to something trivial. Most people would have been in awe of the ability to turn humans into toads, or keep pace with a jet liner using nothing more complicated than an ordinary broom. Then again, Shona had trouble not being frozen in awe of things like electricity and filament bulbs, and other sorts of everyday "magic".
"A-anyway... the reason I'm calling is, um, actually..."
"You need money?"
"What? No! Well... not quite. I mean, kind of, sort of but-"
"I'll get my cheque book."
"No! Mum! That's not what I'm calling about."
"Oh. Oh. Shona. Is it drugs? Please tell me it's not drugs."
"No Mum." she said, crossing her fingers behind her back. Truth be told, she might have been under the influence of mandrake root around the time of conception. It took the edge off wonderfully.
A sigh filtered through the phone's earpiece.
"So. You're pregnant."
Shona's eyes bulged. "Mum! Y-you can do magic?!" she said, looking around the phone booth hurriedly for a summoned eye, or a portal of viewing.
"... you are pregnant?"
"... yes. But- wait- I thought you- you just said! How did you know!"
"I was just working through my checklist of things you might have done wrong that you wanted to phone home about. You're too old to have joined a gang, and murder is a little higher up the list."
Shona said nothing, and suddenly felt very very angry, not that she'd been stupid and managed to get herself knocked up, but because she'd been predictable. She wished she'd cut off an arm, or accidentally signed up for the space program or something original like that. But no, all she'd done was manage to prove her mother right. Maybe she should start chopping her arm off now, just to be on the safe side.
"So. Should I be expecting to meet my new Son in Law soon?"
Shona turned red so violently that she wouldn't have been surprised if her mother could hear the rush of blood to her cheeks. "M-Mum- we-well it's not that simple, you k-know? I- I'm not an ordinary student, a-after all, I'm a witch."
"... did you magic yourself pregnant?" her mother asked, with only trace amounts of credulity.
"Umm... may- well- I didn't magic myself pregnant."
"Shona, could you just explain?"
She bit her lip.
"A wizard did it."