HOME | DD

sackerhale — Freedom from Mt Dew
Published: 2003-09-24 15:41:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 248; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 49
Redirect to original
Description                How to free oneself from the grasp of Mt Dew.

We have all had at one time a love or addiction of some sort.  An obsession that has controlled our lives, to where we are no longer in control. Well this may not entirely be true is all people, especially with this subject and yet we move on.. It shall be discussed here in this paper several steps of how to free onself from this beverage called Mt Dew. That we shall make a better life for ourselves and live free of caffeine(we don’t know why).
I we are to solve our problem’s, we first need to see if there is one. A person should look at there daily life and figure if he or she is a bit too dependant on Mt Dew. Here are some hints that you might be suffering from it’s addictive taste. When you start seeing that you feel grouchy or irritable if you don’t have the beverage every few hours. You are able to drink it faster than an alcoholic biker in Hell’s Angels drinking beer.  Also another indication might be that instead of a slimfast shake for breakfast, one for lunch, and then a sensible dinner. The main staple of your life is no more than Mt Dew and cheese crackers.
Well all hope is not lost and please be free of despair. A great measure in fighting the urge for caffeine is to measure how much is consumed of the beverage. Most suggest that the best way to measure what you drink is by how many empty can’s and two liter are in the back seat of your car. Often if there is enough to completely hide your back seat, then a large amount of Mt Dew is being consumed.  Another find that often clenches the title is when you may notice that all you purchases may have entitled  you to some free stock in the company that makes the beverage. This can often seem as a financial drain when this amount is consumed, seeing the whole paycheck going down the drain. Figuring at $6.00 a 24 pack and you might go through that three times in a day, think of all the money that could be saved with the use of coupons.
But if we must, then we shall set you free. The first step is to drink yourself silly with Mt Dew. So much as to where you cant stand the taste of it because of your bloated feeling. This is a wise move  because cold turkey is not the smartest option in quitting this concentrated caffeine beverage. Cold turkey has led to the break down of many college students in hours flat. It is best to slowly reduce the amount of intake and gradually drink less. Most people who have tried to quit have found that coffee helps with the caffeine withdrawal. You should be able to tell that you are going a bit to fast reducing the intake of Mt Dew when the extremely painful headache kick in right before something important, wedding, finals, birth of a child, and so on. Also it is advised to not hide the sweet nectar of the god’s all over the house, this can lead to those late night binge sessions and leaves you right back at the starting line.
Now if for some ungodly reason you have been able to free yourself from the grasp of Mt Dew and find no need to indulge in it, what is wrong with you? We never really thought that you would make it, no one ever does. They just all go mad and turn back to the blessed green can. Oh well, where you go there is no laughter, love,  and caffeine buzz for all to share. So just remember; if you ever want to come back and be happy, Mt Dew will be there to accept you back.
Related content
Comments: 8

frodobaggins-callie [2005-11-09 03:20:35 +0000 UTC]

to get away?!?!?!?!?
wow, that's an oxymoron....do i have the addiction????
i the last line, so true; so true....
[link] find out for me.....
is it true is it true can anyone really get away from their love????

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

imprimus [2003-09-24 22:19:29 +0000 UTC]

dammit, now I've forgotten what I said... ok, the gist, I think, was that this is freaking hilarious. however, you need to edit it for grammar and spelling errors a bit. I think that was it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

sackerhale In reply to imprimus [2003-09-25 03:53:18 +0000 UTC]

THanks, yeah it does need a bath in Word to clean it up a bit.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

imprimus In reply to sackerhale [2003-09-25 04:31:12 +0000 UTC]

heavy scrubbing

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

sackerhale In reply to imprimus [2003-09-25 04:34:46 +0000 UTC]

Hmmmm, brillo pad needed.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

imprimus [2003-09-24 17:09:56 +0000 UTC]

LoL, very nice. you've got some grammar and spelling errors, but otherwise, I like the content.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

mvision [2003-09-24 15:42:42 +0000 UTC]

This is extremly funny!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

sackerhale In reply to mvision [2003-09-24 15:44:00 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, I just finished typing it for my class.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0