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Description
Made in honour of TWLOHA Day 2010 [link]

For a long time now I have suffered from the effects of depression. For days, even weeks at a stretch, I could be absolutely fine and then sprial into a violent state of grief. I'd feel completely ashamed of who I was. That I was worthless because I didn't improve anyone's life in any way that I could see. I felt isolated and unwanted because I'd never been in a relationship and would often cry myself to sleep for this exact reason. Such strong feelings over such petty concerns when people had lives much, much worse off than mine created a mental-rock-and-hard-place. I couldn't think beyond the obvious.
I wanted to die.
I'd loathe myself even more when I reflected on the selfishness of suicide.
Things started to look up when I left school with only one A-Level and a massive sense of relief. One A-Level because I'd been unable to see the point of education and stopped studying. Relief because it was finally over. The past three years had been a nightmare of boredom and I was desparate to begin actually living.
During the last 4 or 5 months of school, I'd befriended a group of about 7 people. We're still in touch to this day.
They became my springboard. I can honestly say that I would have been much worse off if they'd never been a part of my life.
They made me laugh. They suprised me by making me smile and showing me how to laugh at myself. Humour became the key to recovery.
Inbetween all this, I began to recover my faith in God. I'd never doubted His existance, but finding Him was getting painfully difficult, like searching for a lost key in a cluttered mansion.
He could be anywhere.
That became the exciting part.
It became apparent that I wasn't the only one doing searching. I didn't have to do it on my own any more.
I'm still searching, but the process has become much easier.
I still have depression, but with effort and help it's fading away.

TWLOHA Day brings attention to the preventative measures and support therapy that can bring someone to the road of recovery. I want to say to people who are struggling with depression, you're not alone. Find someone to talk to if you're feeling low. Tell them how you feel. If you think no one you know can manage your problems, there are numbers you can call and people to talk to.

Here are just a few:
Back From The Brink [link]
Samaritans (UK and Ireland only) [link]
Hidden Hurt [link]

Please. Don't hesitate to look for help. You are not alone.

Description
Made in honour of TWLOHA Day 2010 [link]

For a long time now I have suffered from the effects of depression. For days, even weeks at a stretch, I could be absolutely fine and then sprial into a violent state of grief. I'd feel completely ashamed of who I was. That I was worthless because I didn't improve anyone's life in any way that I could see. I felt isolated and unwanted because I'd never been in a relationship and would often cry myself to sleep for this exact reason. Such strong feelings over such petty concerns when people had lives much, much worse off than mine created a mental-rock-and-hard-place. I couldn't think beyond the obvious.
I wanted to die.
I'd loathe myself even more when I reflected on the selfishness of suicide.
Things started to look up when I left school with only one A-Level and a massive sense of relief. One A-Level because I'd been unable to see the point of education and stopped studying. Relief because it was finally over. The past three years had been a nightmare of boredom and I was desparate to begin actually living.
During the last 4 or 5 months of school, I'd befriended a group of about 7 people. We're still in touch to this day.
They became my springboard. I can honestly say that I would have been much worse off if they'd never been a part of my life.
They made me laugh. They suprised me by making me smile and showing me how to laugh at myself. Humour became the key to recovery.
Inbetween all this, I began to recover my faith in God. I'd never doubted His existance, but finding Him was getting painfully difficult, like searching for a lost key in a cluttered mansion.
He could be anywhere.
That became the exciting part.
It became apparent that I wasn't the only one doing searching. I didn't have to do it on my own any more.
I'm still searching, but the process has become much easier.
I still have depression, but with effort and help it's fading away.

TWLOHA Day brings attention to the preventative measures and support therapy that can bring someone to the road of recovery. I want to say to people who are struggling with depression, you're not alone. Find someone to talk to if you're feeling low. Tell them how you feel. If you think no one you know can manage your problems, there are numbers you can call and people to talk to.

Here are just a few:
Back From The Brink [link]
Samaritans (UK and Ireland only) [link]
Hidden Hurt [link]

Please. Don't hesitate to look for help. You are not alone.