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"And in just a few hours my men will be-"

"Um...sir? Who are you talking to?"

"I am evil, I am supposed to talk to myself. Am I understood?"

"Y-yes, sir."

"Now, let us begin, as you know our enemy, Narney Birckman, has had a sliver of doubt cross his mind in regards to the whole Source Filmmaker is worse than GarrysMod argument. He is thinking about using Source Filmmaker considering how broken Gmod is. This is good news, because he is pretty much admitting defeat, allowing us to crush him completely."

"But sir, if he is agreeing with you then why do we-"

"SILENCE! I do not need a good reason to hate people!"

"Yes, sir..."

"Now, because there is a intimidating red light behind me and no one can see my visible features I think now would be a good as time as ever to brief our battle plan, this convenient monitor which NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE shows our enemies. Magii, pick Scootia."

"Scootia desu~"

"Weeboo Lolli Waifu: She is supposedly Narney's 'daughter' but does not seem to show any father daughter relationships besides her being rebellious. She is also apprenticed to a magician to learn how to do parlor tricks. She is a weapons expert, and is almost unmatched on the battlefield. A direct approach will most likely kill you, instead you should take advantage of one of her personality flaws, and she has many. She eats too much pudding, is foul mouthed, short tempered, and has ego issues. Moriarty, pick Souljah."

"Souljah, sir."

"Bumpkin McAmericana: He is pretty much a clone of the original TF2 soldier. He is dumb as a sack of bricks but can be unpredictably smart, we believe this is because he is so dumb he is smart. He also has amazing physical prowess, probably even better than Scootia. And now for bonus points, his friend brian the maggot. He is incredibly smart, his intelligence rivals mine, and he is clever enough to take over the world, even in someones dreams. However, because he is a maggot and because souljah does not listen to him at all he is practically harmless. As for Souljah, simply say you are holding the closest inanimate object hostage and he won't do a thing. Nikor, pick Ivan."

"Ivan."

"Good, now pick Snorty."

"Um...snorty?"

"Spyus Clicheus Villianus Horseus: We shouldn't have to bother with this one, I made a deal with another spy who is particularly interested in him. Needless to say, he should not be present when we launch our attack."

"What if he is there desu?"

"Then we are fucked, because besides throwing him out of a plane he has no obvious weakness. However, confusing him seems to work somewhat. And if all else fails, go for the eyes. Anyone want to volunteer to pick derril?"

"..."

"Thank you Meke. Robo Hippy 3000: He is probably the wimpiest robot I have ever seen. Like snorty, you shouldn't need to worry about him, because his firewalls are terrible. If I had a penny for every time I hacked into him I'd have a monopoly on metal objects no one would ever use. Seriously America, look at Denmark, they have a USE for their coins. Now, lastly, do I have someone for Ivan?"

"RARRRRGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yes, thank you. The Russian Merasmus: He is a heavy with powerful magic but no personality to speak of, and with no personality there is no personality weakness. Psychological warfare will not work. However, all of his power stems from that dumb book he has, if you get rid of the book, he is toast. If you can steal the book that would be better, as its one of those books that can be used by people who are not gifted with magic. Basically, without his book, he's a fat talentless bastard. Nikor, burn sound effect please."

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

"The wombo combo scream is annoying anyway. Is there anyone I am forgetting?"

"What about Narney?"

"What about Narney? Just shoot him in the face, its that easy. Anyone else?"

"..."

"Ah yes, thank you Meke. There is one person out of all these morons who you should ACTUALLY be afraid of, very afraid of. He is a powerful necromancer, a gentleman, and actually has a brain. He has several undead minions, all of them well armed and well equipt. I have nothing to give you, improvise.”

“But sir-”

“IMPROVISE.”

“...yes sir.”

“Good, now, we begin the attack when I can get off my lazy ass and do something, which won’t be for a long time, and I mean a LONG time. Listen up Narney, this is it, I am going to crush you. While you’re here, I think you should see my latest venture of coffins, I think you’ll be a perfect fit! NAYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Description

"And in just a few hours my men will be-"

"Um...sir? Who are you talking to?"

"I am evil, I am supposed to talk to myself. Am I understood?"

"Y-yes, sir."

"Now, let us begin, as you know our enemy, Narney Birckman, has had a sliver of doubt cross his mind in regards to the whole Source Filmmaker is worse than GarrysMod argument. He is thinking about using Source Filmmaker considering how broken Gmod is. This is good news, because he is pretty much admitting defeat, allowing us to crush him completely."

"But sir, if he is agreeing with you then why do we-"

"SILENCE! I do not need a good reason to hate people!"

"Yes, sir..."

"Now, because there is a intimidating red light behind me and no one can see my visible features I think now would be a good as time as ever to brief our battle plan, this convenient monitor which NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE shows our enemies. Magii, pick Scootia."

"Scootia desu~"

"Weeboo Lolli Waifu: She is supposedly Narney's 'daughter' but does not seem to show any father daughter relationships besides her being rebellious. She is also apprenticed to a magician to learn how to do parlor tricks. She is a weapons expert, and is almost unmatched on the battlefield. A direct approach will most likely kill you, instead you should take advantage of one of her personality flaws, and she has many. She eats too much pudding, is foul mouthed, short tempered, and has ego issues. Moriarty, pick Souljah."

"Souljah, sir."

"Bumpkin McAmericana: He is pretty much a clone of the original TF2 soldier. He is dumb as a sack of bricks but can be unpredictably smart, we believe this is because he is so dumb he is smart. He also has amazing physical prowess, probably even better than Scootia. And now for bonus points, his friend brian the maggot. He is incredibly smart, his intelligence rivals mine, and he is clever enough to take over the world, even in someones dreams. However, because he is a maggot and because souljah does not listen to him at all he is practically harmless. As for Souljah, simply say you are holding the closest inanimate object hostage and he won't do a thing. Nikor, pick Ivan."

"Ivan."

"Good, now pick Snorty."

"Um...snorty?"

"Spyus Clicheus Villianus Horseus: We shouldn't have to bother with this one, I made a deal with another spy who is particularly interested in him. Needless to say, he should not be present when we launch our attack."

"What if he is there desu?"

"Then we are fucked, because besides throwing him out of a plane he has no obvious weakness. However, confusing him seems to work somewhat. And if all else fails, go for the eyes. Anyone want to volunteer to pick derril?"

"..."

"Thank you Meke. Robo Hippy 3000: He is probably the wimpiest robot I have ever seen. Like snorty, you shouldn't need to worry about him, because his firewalls are terrible. If I had a penny for every time I hacked into him I'd have a monopoly on metal objects no one would ever use. Seriously America, look at Denmark, they have a USE for their coins. Now, lastly, do I have someone for Ivan?"

"RARRRRGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yes, thank you. The Russian Merasmus: He is a heavy with powerful magic but no personality to speak of, and with no personality there is no personality weakness. Psychological warfare will not work. However, all of his power stems from that dumb book he has, if you get rid of the book, he is toast. If you can steal the book that would be better, as its one of those books that can be used by people who are not gifted with magic. Basically, without his book, he's a fat talentless bastard. Nikor, burn sound effect please."

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

"The wombo combo scream is annoying anyway. Is there anyone I am forgetting?"

"What about Narney?"

"What about Narney? Just shoot him in the face, its that easy. Anyone else?"

"..."

"Ah yes, thank you Meke. There is one person out of all these morons who you should ACTUALLY be afraid of, very afraid of. He is a powerful necromancer, a gentleman, and actually has a brain. He has several undead minions, all of them well armed and well equipt. I have nothing to give you, improvise.”

“But sir-”

“IMPROVISE.”

“...yes sir.”

“Good, now, we begin the attack when I can get off my lazy ass and do something, which won’t be for a long time, and I mean a LONG time. Listen up Narney, this is it, I am going to crush you. While you’re here, I think you should see my latest venture of coffins, I think you’ll be a perfect fit! NAYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”