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ScarletDevil1503 β Memory
Published: 2012-07-21 22:47:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 6388; Favourites: 254; Downloads: 38
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Description
Memory is like the tide,It swells and ebbs;
It's free and wide,
Yet ridden with dregs.
At times it's calmβ
Soothing and sweet;
Like a tender balm,
A gentle beat.
It's violent, tooβ
Coarse and bitter;
Like a vicious coup,
A cruel winter.
In it, I do bask,
Adrift in my mind;
I need only ask
To be lost in time.
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Comments: 96
We should never have the ability to forget or alter memories, because without them the world would shatter.
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I can tell it was you talking, not the keyboard. Favorite/Watch!
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Thank you! And sorry for the late reply.
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it is realy beautiful,,loved it,,,
how about a mask instead of bask ^^' ?
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Thank you so much!
I was trying to create the idea of becoming lost in memories with that line, so I don't think "mask" would work. I was just worried that the words "in it" sounded strange together, but I think ~tattoofuzzy 's idea of adding a comma helped with the flow.
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your welcome..and ehe i love the way how you write poems
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Well, thank you.
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I really like the imagery you put in this. Well done.
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Thank you very much.
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You're welcome!
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perfect to describe how memories can be wonderful and painful
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Indeed. Thank you.
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I'm glad, thanks!
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Aww, thank you!
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This really speaks to me...I don't know if it's the word choice or the poetic feel to it. Nice work
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Thank you very much!
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You're welcome
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very nice, great wording choice, very happy i managed to find this one
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I'm happy you found it too! Thank you so much.
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You're very welcome
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Great poem and the imagery is really good! When i read "in it I do bask" the first time it tripped me up a little, but going over it a couple times it seems to work. The word choice is great maybe just add a comma so "In it, I do bask". Only a suggestion though. I really enjoyed reading this
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I love your suggestion! I thought that the words "in it" sounded strange together, but if you pause with the comma afterwards it doesn't sound so bad. Thank you very much.
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"In it do I bask?" Maybe try to change it to "I lose myself in it"
...unless it's supposed to rhyme with "ask".. agh sorry
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Right, I was trying to rhyme with "ask." Thanks for the suggestion though!
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Hey have fun with the move hope it goes well and keep spreading da love
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Perfect rhyme scheme and pace. I read it all out loud. As an alternative for 'in it do l bask' why not 'i wallow and bask?'
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Really? That's great to hear. Thank you for the feedback.
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A beautiful poem! In the end, it made me think of the things i'd like to forget about.
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No, don't be! It was a truly wonderful poem.
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This is a really wonderful poem. Love the rhyme scheme!
"In it do I bask" ...I think I can see why you might not be happy with that line. I second almond9's suggestion of "Within it I bask"; it would help the flow
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Thank you very much! I think I will use that suggestion.
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