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Last summer, I was invited over to Kanbaru Suruga's house to clean her room. While it had been a normal occurrence in the past, it had become quite apparent that the formerly sporty girl was becoming increasingly dependent on these cleaning sessions. After the issue with the Monkey Paw was resolved, Kanbaru's laid back lifestyle gave way to full blown laziness. En route to Kanbaru's house I came across a more inviting offer- Hachikuji Mayoi.

She was in that familiar park, looking around quizzically, as if she couldn't decide where she should wander off to next. Needless to say, may interest was piqued. It's not that I didn't want to clean Kanbaru's room. Or that I didn't want to see Kanbaru. It's just that a good senpai always gives attention to his juniors, in order of youngest to oldest. I think.

Anyway, seeing a young, twin-tailed girl standing all by herself to really tugged at my heart strings. I had to at least say hi to her.

But you see, Araragi Koyomi is not one for "at leasts." If I was going to greet Hachikuji, I was going to give her the best greeting I could muster. And so....

"HACHIKUJI!" I yelled, making a mad dash for the girl's backside. I swiftly grabbed under the armpits and planted my feet firmly on the ground. With a burst of strength, I threw her into the air! Kind of.

In reality, the last part didn't happen. When I pulled upwards, Hachikuji's shoulders merely shrugged and she rose to a half-tippy-toe position. When my brain finally registered that she had, in fact, not gone flying, I realized that something was different with Hachikuji.

She was heavier.

Upon closer inspection, she was indeed, much heavier than she used to be. What I assumed was her backpack during my approach was actually just her plush backside. And instead of the feeling you'd expect to feel when lifting a child by the armpits, I felt something a bit...squishier. As I let go of the girl, her shoulders slumped back down and her upper body jiggled neatly back into place. She whipped her head around to get a good look at me, causing her neck to fold over itself. She actually had a little difficulty executing the technique (necknique?)so she opted to simply turn around and face me instead.

It was here that I came to the conclusion that Hachikuji had become undoubtedly, undeniably, incontestably fat. With a proper view of her frontside, I could see that she had changed quite a bit since the last time I saw her. Her cheeks had rounded out so much that it looked like they were stuffed with marshmallows. She had a tiny double chin forming right under the original one. Looking a little further down, I could see that her bust was also bigger. The top button of her school uniform was undone, and it was strained by their size. Actually, the source of that strain could probably be traced to her midsection. Puffing out much farther than her breasts did, her belly pulled her suspenders outward. It seemed as though the suspenders were actually keeping the stomach from reaching farther out than it actually did. Whats-more, her skirt was way to small for her now, giving her a significant muffin top. It swayed around a little with her movement. The skirt was no match for her thighs now either. It rode up high enough that I could see her...spats? Looks like she took a page out of Kanbaru's book.

Nevertheless, Hachikuji's size surprised me so much that I forgot our routine exchange. I hadn't even noticed that she began her part until her body stopped jiggling.

"Ah! It's Blablaragi-san!" she giggled, clapping her hands together.

"While I commend your long-term memory, I would appreciate it if you didn't substitute the better half of my name with jibberish, suggesting it may to be too much of a hassle to memorize the actual pronunciation. My name is Araragi Koyomi."

"Sorry, I bit my tongue."

"Looks like you've bit more than your tongue lately."

"Whoa! Himawari-san, that is simply uncalled for! Don't you know that fat shaming is socially unacceptable?!"

"So you admit you've gotten bigger."

"Maybe I put on a few here and there. But given that I am a ghost, you're probably the only person that has seen me today. Why should I keep up appearances if nobody besides you is going to see me?"

I suppose that's a fair argument. Back when I couldn't see my own reflection, I never did my own hair. Turns out a good tuft of was sticking up the entire time.

"But Hachikuji, theres a fault in your statement. How can you be ashamed by what I said about your weight, but also not mindful of your outward appearance?"

"Anyone would be offended if someone spoke ill of their new assets."

"Assets?"

"Yes, precisely, assets."

Asset. Noun. A useful or valuable thing, person or quality. While I can see how maybe a cute personality or a large backpack could be considered assets, what assests was this girl talking about? Unless...

"Hachikuji, by assets, you couldn't possibly mean your fat, could you?"

"Actually, it's exactly what I mean. There is a market for chubby kids somewhere out there."

"I think you're a little past chubby. And that market you're thinking if usually has the word "black" in front of it."

"What's with the tone, Sumaragi-san? You don't seem to be mad about that other girls weight gain!" She leaned forward and pouted, casing her stomach to hang even lower than before. The movement was almost hypnotic. I wanted to look away, but for whatever reason I couldn't.

"Senjougahara just got her weight back from a crab apparition. As for my tone, don't go confusing confusion with anger. A lot of arguements on the internet start that way."

"Whatever! Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that my new "assets" are one-hundred percent beneficial, and they have zero downsides! I get to eat whatever I want, and I'll still be attractive due to the wide variety of interests in the world!"

"Actually, I can think of a couple reasons why your assets might be handicaps."

"What're you playing at?" She asked.

"You won't be able to surf on the seesaw anymore."

She tried it out. "No way! You're right! my body shifts too much for me to properly enjoy this!"

"The swingset will break."

She tried it out. "It's making more creaking noises than usual! This is really unsettling! And the chains are digging into my sides..."

"Monkey bars, push ups, sit ups, basic calisthenics!"

She tried them out. "I'm already tired! The lady on TV is doing it just fine but my stomach fat keeps stopping me!"

"Cardio!"

She didn't try this one out.

"Awkward conversations with relatives! Fad diets! Sucking it in to put jeans on! Chaffing! Shopping for larger clothes, which tend to be less fashionable than smaller sizes! Not being able to see your toes!"

"Noooooooo!" She cried, pulling at her twin tails.

"Thats right Hachikuji. Your assets are not assets...they are... mild inconveniences!"

"What is this horrible existence! Now I have to be the "fat girl" in my social circle because no other stereotypical personality coincides with my body type! O, woe is me! Igarara-san, how could you do this to me?" She fell to her knees, utterly defeated by this sudden realization. Her belly was also touching the ground, adding insult to injury.

"You're the one who ate the food."

"Ahhh! Now I'm taking responsibility for my actions! These assets aren't assets at all! Araragi-san, don't you have anything better to do than make fun of a fat kid?" The girl tried to curl into a fetal position, but her 'assets' keep her from bringing her knees high enough to wrap her arms around them.

"Oh yeah, I was heading to Kanbaru's house. Wanna come along?"

"No... I'd only be a..." She sniffled,"mild inconvenience!"