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Description
If only I could smash a mirror
as big as me every day. If only

I could find a way to break into
a house, axe every door, piss on the floor,

destroy every delicate thing in it,
then light it up and burn it down.

If only I could break your legs and hands
shoot you in the face with rubber bands.

If only I could break your little dreams
and kick your smile right into the street.

If only I could kill a little animal,
cut it open, cut it off, and play a game

with it's bones. If only I had a haunted
house to tear down, one that I called home.

If only I had your grave to spit on;
I'd go there and stare at the water

and the bridge, and I'd read something
you wrote, I'd say things that I never

told you, like how you ruined my life.
If only I could be an angry pitbull,

and write you a letter saying you are
going straight to hell, you killed

your own daughter, you are a witch,
and I take pride in the fact that

you will never see me again. If only
I had a time machine, I'd go back and

do a lot differently, I'd skip all the
other drugs and just do lsd, I'd tell

my mother I loved her twice as much
as I did, I'd meditate in the mountains

instead of ever watching tv.
If only I could slaughter

beautiful women and hear their final
animal cries. If only I could chop

up your body into little cubes and
use them like children's building

blocks to build a pretend city. If
only I hated myself enough to kill

the nausea and the pain with sex
and drugs and grains. If only

I could get over it, let the past rot
and ferment and disappear. If only

I could embrace myself and stop suffocating
in fear. If only I could cry a whole ocean.

If only I could cut my own throat open.
If only I could find a light bright enough

to blind me.

Description
If only I could smash a mirror
as big as me every day. If only

I could find a way to break into
a house, axe every door, piss on the floor,

destroy every delicate thing in it,
then light it up and burn it down.

If only I could break your legs and hands
shoot you in the face with rubber bands.

If only I could break your little dreams
and kick your smile right into the street.

If only I could kill a little animal,
cut it open, cut it off, and play a game

with it's bones. If only I had a haunted
house to tear down, one that I called home.

If only I had your grave to spit on;
I'd go there and stare at the water

and the bridge, and I'd read something
you wrote, I'd say things that I never

told you, like how you ruined my life.
If only I could be an angry pitbull,

and write you a letter saying you are
going straight to hell, you killed

your own daughter, you are a witch,
and I take pride in the fact that

you will never see me again. If only
I had a time machine, I'd go back and

do a lot differently, I'd skip all the
other drugs and just do lsd, I'd tell

my mother I loved her twice as much
as I did, I'd meditate in the mountains

instead of ever watching tv.
If only I could slaughter

beautiful women and hear their final
animal cries. If only I could chop

up your body into little cubes and
use them like children's building

blocks to build a pretend city. If
only I hated myself enough to kill

the nausea and the pain with sex
and drugs and grains. If only

I could get over it, let the past rot
and ferment and disappear. If only

I could embrace myself and stop suffocating
in fear. If only I could cry a whole ocean.

If only I could cut my own throat open.
If only I could find a light bright enough

to blind me.