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Sometimes... I have to remind myself of why I am an artist, especially on days that it isn't going so well when I am "burnt out", exhausted, and feeling like I can't draw anything, get aggravated and just give up. But then get aggravated BECAUSE I WANT TO DRAW AND CAN'T. The reason... has to do with feeling like I never have enough time. I get off of work, I feel like the day is gone, I wake up on those small days off I do have, sleep in til about 11:30, procrastinate by doing other things, it gets late, no day left. No time left. Back then, before having a job, hell even having 8 hours to spend in school, I still "had time left." I used to be able to complete a drawing every single day. I can't anymore. The bad thing is I think of those times and felt like I was doing more. Every day I have to "accomplish" something. That's what I tell myself every day. Something that isn't work. Something that isn't the normal life I have to live, and 99% of the time that's creating something, and that's probably why I stay up late, that's basically why I have become a borderline if not already, insomniac. There's no time to do things, so for me to do them, I must stay up to complete them.

I know why I get the burned out feeling. The artist block. The lack of motivation, besides the fact I am tired of life. I do know. It's because now I do a lot more bigger projects, things that take a lot of time. Time, like I said, I feel like I do not have, so it ends up procrastination or hardly finishing something I was excited to start. Sometimes I forget what "simple" is. Even the simplest of drawings take a half hour or two. Sometimes I forget and underestimate the power of those simple drawings, especially with how life is right now. I am having that burnt out feeling. Feeling like, once again, I need an art hiatus. There's other things I can do, like write, I need to, but ultimately that doesn't always happen either and I end up going right back to drawing when I say I am taking a hiatus. So... maybe if I can convince myself to just rejuvenate myself before doing the next "big project" I might get better...

Description

Sometimes... I have to remind myself of why I am an artist, especially on days that it isn't going so well when I am "burnt out", exhausted, and feeling like I can't draw anything, get aggravated and just give up. But then get aggravated BECAUSE I WANT TO DRAW AND CAN'T. The reason... has to do with feeling like I never have enough time. I get off of work, I feel like the day is gone, I wake up on those small days off I do have, sleep in til about 11:30, procrastinate by doing other things, it gets late, no day left. No time left. Back then, before having a job, hell even having 8 hours to spend in school, I still "had time left." I used to be able to complete a drawing every single day. I can't anymore. The bad thing is I think of those times and felt like I was doing more. Every day I have to "accomplish" something. That's what I tell myself every day. Something that isn't work. Something that isn't the normal life I have to live, and 99% of the time that's creating something, and that's probably why I stay up late, that's basically why I have become a borderline if not already, insomniac. There's no time to do things, so for me to do them, I must stay up to complete them.

I know why I get the burned out feeling. The artist block. The lack of motivation, besides the fact I am tired of life. I do know. It's because now I do a lot more bigger projects, things that take a lot of time. Time, like I said, I feel like I do not have, so it ends up procrastination or hardly finishing something I was excited to start. Sometimes I forget what "simple" is. Even the simplest of drawings take a half hour or two. Sometimes I forget and underestimate the power of those simple drawings, especially with how life is right now. I am having that burnt out feeling. Feeling like, once again, I need an art hiatus. There's other things I can do, like write, I need to, but ultimately that doesn't always happen either and I end up going right back to drawing when I say I am taking a hiatus. So... maybe if I can convince myself to just rejuvenate myself before doing the next "big project" I might get better...