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Published: 2008-09-06 11:00:08 +0000 UTC; Views: 109; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description
SummaryThe year is 2310 and the world has suffered many chaotic tragedies and world wars. In a state of post apocalyptic disorder, the allied group VERA, dispatches mercenaries to sectors of the earth to keep mayhem and dictatorship from existing. Within sector 13 resides the quiet but deadly SEIRYU, SELPHIRA a spunky data agent, and VIC, their commanding officer. They are of sector 13's elite group only called in on dangerous assignments in which heavy force is mandatory.
Characters
SEIRYU: 19, Mercenary for VERA. Focused, anti-social, conflicted.
SELPHIRA: 17, Data provider for VERA. Impatient, eager, easily bored.
VIC: 45, Mercenary squad command. Focused, strict, demanding.
REI: 32, Leader of militia group TETRA. Determined, self absorbed, psychotic
Locations
TETRA HEADQUATERS:
Heavily guarded headquarters of militia group TETRA.
MAIN LOBBY:
ELEVATOR:
60th FLOOR: The last elevator accessible floor guarded by TETRA'S finest soldiers.
61st FLOOR: Floor containing the leader of TETRA
MILITARY BASE
MERC SECTOR 13
Base of operations and hangout spot of sector 13 mercenaries.
1. INT ELEVATOR DAY
SEIRYU, a young mercenary, sits in a rising elevator nervously preparing himself for battle.
There is a call on his communicator from SELPHIRA.
SELPHIRA
Come in, SEIRYU. I've gathered the data for your assignment
SEIRYU is startled by the call and his eyes widen.
SEIRYU
Huh? Oh, right. Please go over them...
SELPHIRA
(giggles) You're not freaking out again are you? C'mon SEIRYU, you're
supposed to be the best!
SEIRYU is agitated by SELPHIRA
SEIRYU
(sigh) Yeah yeah, I'm just under a lot of stress lately. Everything will be fine.
SELPHIRA
If you say so. Okay, because of the trouble you caused in the lobby the whole
building is on high alert and is anticipating your arrival. I'm sure as soon
as the doors open they'll begin firing. I suggest creating a diversion so you
can escape the elevator.
SEIRYU looks at his suitcase and grins
SEIRYU
Don't worry, I've already got that part covered.
SELPHIRA
Good! Concerning the amount of soldiers. There's easily twenty to thirty.
They'll be equipped with high powered weaponry and body armor....
Think you can handle it?
SEIRYU
Heh, I've been through worse situations, trust me.
SELPHIRA is amused
SELPHIRA
A bit cocky aren't we?
SEIRYU rolls his eyes
SEIRYU
Not cocky, just confident. Don't sweat it, this mission's in the bag. They won't
know what hit 'em.
SELPHIRA
Roger that. Oh! Before you start the mission the commander would like to speak
with you. Shall I put him on?
SEIRYU
Sure, go ahead.
VIC
SEIRYU, remember who you're dealing with here. These aren't ordinary soldiers,
they're Tetra's finest. We can't afford any screw ups
SEIRYU is annoyed
SEIRYU
(sigh) I get it old man. I can handle it.
VIC
Let's hope you're right...
SEIRYU cuts VIC'S transmission and switches back to SELPHIRA
SEIRYU
Argh! If I didn't think I could handle the mission I would have never accepted
it in the first place. I hate when he pesters me like this.
SELPHIRA
I understand, but he only does that because he cares. We wouldn't be much
of a unit without you, SEIRYU.
SEIRYU smiles and rests his head against the wall
SEIRYU
(sigh) I guess you're right.
SELPHIRA
Oh yeah, one more thing regarding the mission. The enemy heavily relies on
enhancement technologies to aid them in battle. Since they're electrical, use a
pulse grenade to temporarily jam their systems.
SEIRYU
Yeah I kinda figured they'd use enhancers, so I cooked something up for them.
SELPHIRA
Really now?! What's that?
SEIRYU laughs hysterically
SEIRYU
You'll see.
SELPHIRA frowns and crosses her arms
SELPHIRA
Aww, you're no fun.
SEIRYU
Well I'm almost to the top. I'll check in after I clear the room. Stay focused and
inform me of any changes in the plan.
SELPHIRA
Affirmative! Good luck.
SEIRYU cuts the transmission and double checks his equipment.
While preparing himself SEIRYU begins to shake.
CUT TO: FLASHBACK
2. EXT TRAINING CAMP NIGHT
CUT TO:
Soldiers being killed by the dozens
CUT TO:
Massive explosions occurring wiping out hundreds of innocent citizens
CUT TO:
Children crying, mothers screaming in agonizing pain as they are slaughtered.
CUT TO:
YOUNG SEIRYU being carried away by VERA operatives screaming for his mother.
YOUNG SEIRYU
Mother! No!
CUT TO:
3. INT ELEVATOR DAY
SEIRYU shakes his head and continues preparing
SEIRYU
That's in the past now, I have to stay sharp and get this over with.
The sound of the elevator coming to a halt is heard (DING) the elevator doors open
CUT TO:
4. INT 60TH FLOOR DAY
Gunfire constantly bombards the interior of the elevator leaving nothing but smoke and bullet holes
The sound of reloading guns is heard
SEIRYU kicks his long suitcase outside of the elevator and it slides across the floor. It then opens and an LCD monitor attached to the top plays a message
MESSAGE
Under the order of VERA command you are cautioned to drop your weapons
and surrender peacefully. If you do not comply we will authorize deadly force.
Gunshots pelt the monitor shattering it into pieces on the floor.
SEIRYU grins and rolls his eyes
SEIRYU
Well that worked.
SEIRYU presses a switch on a remote control triggering an explosion of pulse waves
The soldiers are then temporarily paralyzed and SEIRYU makes his way pistols readied
towards his suitcase. SEIRYU fires off a few rounds taking out three soldiers and slides to his
case nearly missing a barrage of bullets. SEIRYU then holsters his guns and grabs a sharp blackened sword from his case.
SEIRYU smiles
SEIRYU
Time to kick some ass.
SEIRYU pushes the case forward tripping a soldier then impales him with his sword. SEIRYU then horizontally launches the sword forward slashing through a few soldiers and impaling one to the far back wall. SEIRYU then pulls out two automatic pistols and starts firing in all directions cutting down soldiers like a knife through butter.
CUT TO:
5. EXT ROOF OF ADJACENT BUILDING DAY
A sniper steadies his rifle and sets his sights on SEIRYU. He pulls the trigger and the bullet speeds towards SEIRYU.
CUT TO:
6. INT 60TH FLOOR DAY
In the midst of the gunfire SEIRYU lets one of his weapons drop to the floor and pushes his hand to the side. A shield then appears to protect him from the sniper shot and any other incoming fire.
SEIRYU closes his eyes and redirects the bullet back at the sniper
CUT TO:
7. EXT ROOF OF ADJACENT BUILDING DAY
Bullet pierces the snipers skull and he drops to the ground.
CUT TO:
8. INT 60TH FLOOR DAY
SEIRYU then drops his pistol and dives behind a wall where his suitcase is located and takes out a plastic explosive and wraps it around a spare magazine. SEIRYU throws the magazine and detonates the explosive taking out the remaining soldiers. After the smoke clears SEIRYU walks to the back wall to pull his sword out of the dead soldier' bloody torso.
SEIRYU sits down with his back against a wall.
SEIRYU
(sigh of relief)
The communicator displays an incoming call from SELPHIRA
SELPHIRA
SEIRYU, give me status report.
SEIRYU
I told you they wouldn't know what hit 'em.
SELPHIRA and SEIRYU begin to laugh
(BOOM) A gunshot echoes on SELPHIRA'S side and the sound of a body hitting the floor is heard.
SELPHIRA'S eyes widen and begins to scream
SELPHIRA
SERIYU, SERIYU! WHAT HAPPENED?! SERIYU!!
END
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Comments: 3
Chibi-Bombon [2008-09-06 14:09:00 +0000 UTC]
hehe read it and actually...I enjoyed it
The first thing I thought from reading the format was "oh god, it's going to be hard to visualize since it's written more as a script" But that wasn't a problem at all. And it can only get better considering this is simple a rough draft.
Your word choice and format was executed very clearly so I didn't have a problem seeing things. But then again, I was seeing it MY way, so I won't really know for sure exactly every detail until you put in some more detail
I'm glad the main info was put at start. It was helpful for quick reference an it's good that you didn't have to give away the story practically explaining the story behind everything so soon. So kudos for that!
The characters? At first, I thought they might be a bit cliche stereotypically speaking The profiles reminded me a lot of standard Final Fantasy characters, but throughout the script, I changed my mind. I didn't have a problem at all with Selphira (who oddly enough, I visualized as Selphie haha). But I thought Seiryu might be a bit too Cloud like. But I'm glad you gave him his own sort of cockiness too
It might be a minor detail to you, but it goes a looong way in making the difference between average characters I'm used to.
All in all, I liked it and hope you write some more soon ^-^ OR update some different exclusives with this preview. Like maybe more in depth character profiles describing appearance and height so people won't make a mistake visualizing their own Cloud hunk jk But it would be nice. Just a suggestion
Keep up the good work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ShadowNOS In reply to Chibi-Bombon [2008-09-06 20:36:24 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, if you've played FF games these characters may seem a little similar which I'll have to change up as I go.
Thanks a bunch for the in depth criticism. I really appreciate you taking the time to not only read it, but give feedback as well.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1








