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ShadowSweeper — Drop after Drop
Published: 2006-01-17 01:44:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 226; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 7
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Description
Drop after Drop,The rain starts to pour,
Drop after Drop,
No one wants any more.
Drop after Drop,
The rain drenches everything in sight,
Drop after Drop,
Accompanied by no light.
Drop after Drop,
The rain isn’t going to end,
Drop after Drop,
You watch as it starts to descend.
Drop after Drop,
The rain beats down fast,
Drop after Drop,
And under your breath, “At last”.
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Comments: 15
Thanks so much! I appreciate it
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More prodding. You asked for it. ^_~
I usually run screaming from rhyme, but this didn't bother me so much because your meter was inconsistent. If you have a lovely even meter and perfect rhyme scheme, you have a Dr. Seuss book, and you have undermined all attempts at being serious -- unless, of course, you are a poetic master who is incredibly talented in the art of rhyme. All that to say, you avoided the singsong trap. Congrats. ^_^
I like how the capitalization of 'drop' makes every one specifically important. Every drop is welcome, long-awaited . . .
And I have to say, the slight twist in the ending is good. Reading the poem, I got a sense that the rain was this inevitability, and then you threw me for a little loop by turning out to like it. That was fun. ^_^
A'right, I'll stop bugging you now . . . *darting of eyes*
How 'bout some more poetry?
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Hey - Dr Seuss ROCKS actually!!
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Point well made. ^_^
I love his stuffs. "The little bug that went kachoo" has to be my favorite . . .
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Hehe, thanks soo much for commenting again. I assure you though, I'm nothin of a poetic master and I'm really not much for Dr.Seuss at this age. I'm glad you picked up the capitilzation of 'Drop', and i'm ooh so happy you liked the small twist at the end.
And feel free to prod all you want. You're quite good at it
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Meh, good is relative. I'm just perfectionist.
Trust me, though . . . if you see my gallery, you'll understand that I'm much better at critiquing than I actually am at writing. Especially when I'm sick and angsty.
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lol. I'll find out soon enough.
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I think this is my cue to be afraid. (Very afraid?)
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Don't worry, I never was much of a critic. All my critique usually ends in 'if you want to' or 'it's only my suggestion'
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Ah well. Feel free to be mean to me; I need the help.
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Why thank you! Thanks a million
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