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ShayneBailey — anonymous.
Published: 2012-02-13 07:07:41 +0000 UTC; Views: 502; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 0
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Description body div#devskin0 hr { }

you are not alone in your body; god is inside you.

you feel him at night, acutely, pressing at the bleeding holes in you brain: the holy spirit glues your blood cells together, and wetly they slide in a sex stew in your churning bowels.

(spit-slicked, you are born and are fantastic as you leap forth. over the edge and over again, he plays along, opening his legs and revealing pulsating tight vessels. anxiety bubbles up sickly under your tongue in worship:

love on hiatus,
and what good is a day? and
what good is a day what
good is a
day what is
good a good day
what good does
a day do what good is)


hands fill you up,
"please." tentacles rush from the skin, suction-cup, sweet nibbles at the cusp. you had a question--  there was a click and spluttering hiss, magic sparking in your loins and a chain reaction, a sporadic mechanic display:
fireworks, ideally. a footnote to a scream and it is an arrested creator, it is a moth-whisper of string theory and it is a domestic breakfast scene.

this is god's creature in tragic happenstance, in repose, in deep.
this is god's creature all alone and careworn,
carsick. a tender explosion and you are teleported into outerspace:  a featureless nowhere and a moody, digital plain. you worry violently in this oversweet hell, head-over-heels in love with the thin margins of dust mote angels; angles overhead embrace.



(these things happen in threes: simon says attention deficit. a distraction so quiet and so close to home, murmuring in the early morning of the eclipse. a world burning catches your global warming and it is an automatic orbital effect, apocalyptic cross-fire and a mishap, a panic attack. fire escape down the edge of the world into the collapsible madhouse.)



body one: dead man. a eulogy for the committed. the household punishes the concrete with sure steps and a fast stomping, a salsa dance and a mad hat or two and it is over.
it is spending purgatory with bumblebees and you rebel respectfully, stomping up and down the stairwells romantically. you rub noses with monsters under the beds, eskimo kisses and feather touches in respect to the absolute infinity hanging in limp streamers. and hand fill you up, and you paint yourself in his image, and happy birthday; all the sheets and shower curtains strung up in memorial, intestines slung over the nightlight in celebration and you will overcome the world tonight.

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Comments: 22

BlackLuna [2012-08-31 09:56:51 +0000 UTC]

This was extremely difficult to unveil. You have such a complex mind always boiling with impertinent ideas and questions. Maybe I'm repeating myself but wow, I want to learn from you!

You started this text with something I always wondered about: if each one of us is a god in itself and if we are all alone in this world. We surely act as gods towards others and no one else can tell us how to act or think (only if we let them).

In life, we have love to tie us together and felt comprehend in some part. But there's always something in us that no one will ever understand. This dark, crazy, almost devil-like being. Our deepest doubts and fears.

In death, in our last seconds of life, we'll be all alone. We'll feel lost. It's something we'll have to deal on our own, without any tips. We never learnt how we should die. Is it something natural? So why do we feel as immortals?

There was one time I look the monsters under my bed deeply in their eyes, but I'm too afraid to touch them and fall within their claws. I, instead, opened the window I jumped unto the sun. I hope not to become blind once again but just be happy to be all me in my solitude.

So, let's celebrate!

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forestmeetwildfire [2012-07-10 18:19:24 +0000 UTC]

deliciously creepy. this is the perfect example of prosetry. love, love, love.

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ShayneBailey In reply to forestmeetwildfire [2012-07-12 04:03:16 +0000 UTC]

thanks you, thank you, thank you. for everything. for the comments and the favorite and the watch, and just everything. you are fantastic.

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forestmeetwildfire In reply to ShayneBailey [2012-07-12 15:35:43 +0000 UTC]

you deserved it all, i promise

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ShayneBailey In reply to forestmeetwildfire [2012-07-12 20:29:47 +0000 UTC]

aaaaaaWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

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archelyxs [2012-06-05 20:26:48 +0000 UTC]

This is beautiful.

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ShayneBailey In reply to archelyxs [2012-06-10 07:47:05 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much.

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rori-leaf [2012-06-04 00:19:13 +0000 UTC]

I don't know if I'm turned on or disgusted.

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i-am-the-writer [2012-05-04 04:30:29 +0000 UTC]

Very nice, i agree with creme brulee, the experimental film feel of it really just creates the perfect atmosphere for it!

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ShayneBailey In reply to i-am-the-writer [2012-05-14 03:59:12 +0000 UTC]

thank you. thank you. you're appreciated more than you know.
your comments always make me feel fuzzy and floating. <3

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i-am-the-writer In reply to ShayneBailey [2012-05-14 17:28:05 +0000 UTC]

haha fuzzy and floating is a great feeling,
i'm so very glad i can contribute to that ^_^

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creme-brulee [2012-03-13 04:18:04 +0000 UTC]

This feels like an abstract film in super-8.
I love " head-over-heels in love with the thin margins of dustmote angles" and "you rebel respectfully, stomping up and down the stairwells romantically".
There is one of mine I would like to share with you, but I cannot figure out how to send links on this kindle device I am on. But you can find it if you search in my gallery for "tourist".
Mine is the stale white-bread line-drawing version of your abstract artful watercolor...

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ShayneBailey In reply to creme-brulee [2012-03-27 04:09:14 +0000 UTC]

i often feel like an abstract film in super-8.

you are glorious. ironically, i don't have words to describe what comments like this mean/do to me. live long, my friend. be glorious.

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TheFoxAstronaut [2012-02-13 07:33:00 +0000 UTC]

UGH IT WASN'T LETTING ME COMMENT I WAS GETTING SO MAD.
so at the "day" part I had to set the iPod down and be like whoa. Seriously I said holy shit, or something. The way that was done was so beautiful, so jumbled in the way that it summarizes spiritual exploration right there: exploring a question, that eventually turns into another that might question the validity of the entire bigger picture. And it is so smart, and you are so smart.

See this is one where I can't do my normal routine of I GET IT I UNDERSTAND YOU LOOK AT ME I AM SO PRETENTIOUS because there is a feeling unlike the others - I guess that I can't relate to? Because I always say that I can. I mean I can with this but I can't, not in this clever way. Do you know what I'm saying? Because I sure don't.
But I see the movement in this, and the growth, that can be applied to so many situations, to so many people. The realizing of what god is, or where, or if god is god. How this realization churns people forward and gets them to ask questions they wouldn't have before (I guess in an example case it'd be like once people figure out they believe in god they can ask "difficult" questions with that safety net, because when they ask, god is there to catch them, to prove it to them if it does not get answered. You know?)
I see life in this. See the arguments you can have with god, the hiatus like the one I may or may not be on, see the kind of, but not, final realization of things. What I mean is, like, say the exampled god-beliver is wronged. And god did not help. There comes this fire, an anger, and a sort of self-blame once one sees god cannot do everything.
I see a contentedness, though. Through all of my rambling that probably misses the entire point, i see the contentedness at the exploration, and learning new things. I love the end, I love the idea behind it and the author and the future I have with my two favorite authors. The final line makes me swell with hope, exhaustion, good worry and anxiety to get a move on. This is, you are. Si, yes, oui, ti amo. I love you.

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ShayneBailey In reply to TheFoxAstronaut [2012-02-17 01:10:57 +0000 UTC]

YESYEYES, thankyou thank you. this felt like waking up, felt like grabbing my rogue daggers and confronting the archdemon and looking its nasty ass face headon and thinking it may be impossible, but we are grey wardens and WE WILL CONQUER THIS AND LIVE.

no, YOU ARE SO SMART. because you realize and understand things in this that even i didn't even really fully understand. not the feeling, but the knowledge of just WHAT the fucking i'm feeling, if you know what i mean.

i do know what you mean. this is different. feels different. everything feels and is different and it's almost crushing but then i stop and breathe, and remember and it is oaky.

i kind of understand. i also understand that i am not the philosopher i think i am, and bend god's existence or nonexistence to my own personal selfish will, turn it into a metaphor for my lostness and soulsearching, but maybe that is god after all. i don't know.

you did not miss the point. this is confusion and hopelessness and wonder and anxiety and then acceptance, the growth and range and spiral of emotion as you realize that you are not perfect, not as capable as you thought you were, that god is not perfect or as capable as you thought he/it was, and then cherishing that realization and nurturing int into wonder at life and curiosity and into a self-victory, a conquering of your fears and then a last hoorah as you let go of everything and just be.

i love you. i love you immensely and i am far gone, i am away and i am in our coffee shop and i am painting on our kitchen floor and i am shitting with the door wide open and i am dancing dancing dancing to glitch mob, to ke$ha, to the feint and i am drunk and reeling and i am loving and creating and i am whole with the two best, most perfect, most lovely most intelligent most beautiful people in the world, and we are one and we are content and we are dreaming and achieving and it will not end, only begin and begin and begin and we will not stop.

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TheFoxAstronaut In reply to ShayneBailey [2012-02-17 07:20:25 +0000 UTC]

I actually think Archie is PRETTY........... AND FUCK YEAH GREY WARDENS LET'S GO. well we die when we make a Chicago vow to you know, die. Because Alistair made me upset when I almost took loghain in soooooo

Lulz what the fucking I'm feeling. That's oaky with me.

And that's not being or NOT being a philosopher; it's someone who simply finds solace in writing about god or a lack thereof. It's not selfish because it's from the heart; selfish to me is what I used to write. Taking other's feelings and experiences and twisting them to my own shitty interpretation. Just. Nu

Yeah that paragraph with the word hoorah was really beautiful and eloquent just saying

FUCKING MISS GLTCH MOB ALL OF DRINKS DRUNK RUMMM I miss you both to the point where my heart develops some problems. This comment is so poorly put together but I addressed EVERYTHIF HA

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ShayneBailey In reply to TheFoxAstronaut [2012-02-22 22:13:29 +0000 UTC]

he is a mystic, magical beast, soaring above us with cries of the past and the tales of the old gods (dundundunnnnnana).
grey warden martyring is the WAY TO GO. even if you don't get the lulzsex with Morriganba. (lol wht)

i know what you mean: writing unselfishly feels like a rivgoration potion or some shit. i'm growing kind of fond of it; i think i'd like to keep it up.

lol i i try (not really, it's on accident. mostly i have no idea what's coming out of my mouth.)

I MISS GETTING CRUNK TO MISTY KE$H AND GETTING NAKED LIKE WOAH AND NOT BEING ABLE TO WALK AND YOUR HORSE COUCH AND WATCHING FAGGOT MOVIES AND THEN THROWING UP WHEN MEGAVIDEO IS ALL lol no jk i'm here to ruin your life ha.

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TheFoxAstronaut In reply to ShayneBailey [2012-02-22 22:54:55 +0000 UTC]

oh god people think i am so weird i am laughing really oaky

megavideo like.......................................... i've never been more upset........................................... we still haven't finished hell bent........................................ and then it didn't warn us before watching another gay sequel two....................................
not sure what i'm doing
my group abandoned me again so i'm stuck with colin's video camera who isn't even in our group, he's just nice. i'll probably film dragon age. that will be our project
OH MY GOD IT WOULD WORK

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ShayneBailey In reply to TheFoxAstronaut [2012-02-22 23:16:17 +0000 UTC]

FUCK THEM UP. SERIOUSLY. DO THEY KNOW WHO THEY'RE MESSING WITH.

that is not cool. they need to stop ditching you before i blow a faggot up. hell bent: i'm crying. oiky.

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TheFoxAstronaut In reply to ShayneBailey [2012-02-22 23:29:56 +0000 UTC]

me too it's okay

DO YOU WANNA GET ON A WEBSITE AND QUICKCHAT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

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ShayneBailey In reply to TheFoxAstronaut [2012-02-22 23:32:33 +0000 UTC]

YES WHAT WEBSITE

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TheFoxAstronaut In reply to ShayneBailey [2012-02-22 23:57:34 +0000 UTC]

I HAVE TO GO NOW
I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE TO THE PARTY I WILL TEXT YOU SOON

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