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shley77 In reply to GreenSprite [2011-04-29 23:39:39 +0000 UTC]

Hey thanks for the detailed comment : D
Hm, I do worry sometimes if it's hard to tell the separation between these pages. I'm curious if you might be able to read better on the blog where the pages are uploaded individually: [link]
I think maybe just placing a solid bar between them might be better, or I might just start uploading them here individually haha, though I'd rather not fill my gallery completely with comic pages.

Your timing comment I find a little curious though. I'm wondering how it is you personally tell time in comic frames? To me the shape, size, length, and information given in a panel is what indicates timing. So those first four frames in page two for example, are tall and vary in width, the first frame is thicker, so I intended for the eye to stay there for a few moments longer, then the next two are thin, intended to be read quickly in a row for kind of quick moments of movement, then the fourth panel being thicker again, was meant to hold your gaze steady again. For wider thin panels I usually mean to read as a longer but simple moment, a single action stretched over a bit of time. So to me timing reads by how a panel will hold your gaze, strongly determined by panel width/shape/size/detail.

As for the reaction thing, I definitely understand how it could read ambiguous. I think there is a relatively simple fix I can work on for that, so will do

Thanks again!

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GreenSprite In reply to shley77 [2011-04-30 09:17:45 +0000 UTC]

No problem! I always think about these things when reading comics, might as well share

Timing: yes, it roughly works as you described it. There are a handful of things I find confusing, though.

Page 1: first four frames: mostly wide, calm, they set the location and the mood, zoom in on the character. No problem here.

The fifth frame is the ambiguous one: when I see very thin frames, I expect something either sudden, or shocking. Since it's focusing on his eyes - he looks like he's just realized something, but we can't tell what. Judging by the next frames, I guess he thought he saw someone outside, but he didn't really. So the page works for me overall, except for the last panel. Why is it there? Why is it relevant? I have no idea.

Now for page 2. The first four panels do read as you expected, in fast succession, the wider ones seem slightly longer time-wise. I just don't get why you want us to carefully observe him sipping coffee. Normally, you break such a habitual action into tiny slices only when there's something unusual about it, or when it will be interrupted. If there is nothing unusual, you're just making me paranoid with so many frames dedicated to drinking out of a cup

I have a problem with the fifth panel again. The square frame, combined with the cozy atmosphere and objects, make it extremely static. To me, it "lasts" a lot. A damn long time for someone to hold their hand like that

The last four panels are a bit ambiguous too. He's definitely waiting for someone/something. He waves to someone... but it's not whom he expected? And why does he look slightly embarrassed in the last frame again? I understand what's happening, but I don't get his reactions. It might become clearer as we read on, so this is not a problem if you intended it this way.

There you have it! A complete analysis by a comics nerd I tend to over analyze these things, so take it with a grain of salt. It might be that your comic (or this chapter) is much more slow-paced than what I'm used to. I usually expect comics to include just what is absolutely necessary in each frame and page, and if you're not following your principle, my analysis is just off. Anyway, I hope it helps a bit!

One last thing: I think I prefer pages that are submitted individually, but if you want to keep this format, just increase the space between them a bit. No need for ugly lines.

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shley77 In reply to GreenSprite [2011-04-30 10:07:24 +0000 UTC]

I like to focus on the emotion in moments, kind of in a cinematic way This is a personal style I like to use. Kind of compensating for the fact that without motion you can't get subtle actions like what happens in the section where he's drinking coffee.
My intention here was to use his subtle reactions and gaze shift to draw your attention to this letter in the bottom of the frame. It probably was looked over previously, so the fact that it's there in a relatively low detail and constricted frame was meant to draw your attention to it and give it some importance. Furthermore, he's not just sipping coffee there. On the previous page you see his attention caught by something, here his gaze is still there, then I wanted to highlight the emotional shift from looking at the letter, to looking down thoughtfully, to looking away.
The larger panel there was meant to keep your gaze only to bring more attention to the letter. Previous frames it looked like just a piece of paper, here you can just make out some text and even a seal of some kind at the top. It might hit this home more if I made some text legible, but it's hard to do that at a smaller size so I'd have to mess with it.

Emotional shift in characters warrants a lot of attention to me, I don't feel it necessary to use quick moments only for serious action sequences. In fact it seems to me like cluttering action sequences with a lot of in between actions might defeat the purpose. I think shifts in emotion however subtle, can be very telling, and that is kind of the focus of this comic, especially during the silent moments like this.

As for the reaction at the door, and honestly most of it lol, I don't expect you to know what's happening just yet. This is a continuous story, what's happening is meant to be somewhat ambiguous until a certain point. I'm okay with readers guessing exact emotions and reactions, nobody knows what's behind the door yet but me, and well him, LOL.

Once again I appreciate your detailed response, and hope I don't sound like I'm arguing. I'm just stating my intentions as they are pretty important to me.
Truthfully this reminded me why it felt like a big problem updating a comic like this in small sections, I've decided to shift to longer updated sections because of it, and now I'm glad I did. Hopefully this way any confusion over what is happening is lingering only long enough to pique curiosity, and when you go to the next page things will be answered, so you will look back and understand more what is going on here. Or that is my hope, haha.

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GreenSprite In reply to GreenSprite [2011-04-29 16:30:45 +0000 UTC]

*sleepy, not sleeping, of course. Argh Englishfail!

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