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Published: 2004-06-14 13:24:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 119; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 11
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Description
Forlorn fortress safe and sound atopa precipice with no one around mighty and solid gray stone
stands, centuries of life it was planned
Ocean washing its stony roots, rain falling
in storm.
Gray walls battered by time and hate
and rocks come crumbling down.
Slowly it sinks, slowly it sags
as time turns on and on
No caring hand to tend the land
no warm songs to fill its halls
So cracks they spread through it
and silently its pain is unknown
but slowly, and surely
as always is shown
that the fortress will falter on its own.
Winter, and spring.
Summer, and fall
seasons turn, and empty echoes its halls
no gentle laughter to fill its heart
no gentle touches atop ancient ramparts
so the fortress does fall
peice by peice
slowly crumbling down from its safe precipice
slighting into ocean of warm red blood
as the tears rain down in an unending flood,
No mighty allies.
No time spent to repair
for the fortress is ancient
and doomed to despair.
Remember these words when you look upon
its shell.
For the end has come
to this castle so brave.
neglect has left not but ruin.
Learn well this lesson and do not despair
for an end come to all in time.
Hearts that are forgotten
Castles unloved
shattered they vanish
from the world we know
leaving nothing but bleak battered stone.
The shame is that no one made it a home.
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Comments: 8
blackmanok [2007-01-14 12:02:52 +0000 UTC]
.. wow!this one is in another level... among the top... i love the sad ambience... the dark quality... the values you give for things falling apart. you're awesome.. have i told you this before?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
stxv [2005-07-20 14:52:59 +0000 UTC]
This was an excellent peice. Wish i'd joined a little sooner so I could've voted for it.
It feels very prosical.. a poetical musing monologue. I like the topic of the poem too.
Things fall apart.
The feelings of isolation lilt through this work betwixt awesome imagery.
I feel as though this castle, like people, does not necessarily decay from attack, but rather
From simpy being in a spot so close to the sea. A once brimming castle is now nothing but an empty shell.
-
For the end has come
to this castle so brave.
neglect has left not but ruin.
Learn well this lesson and do not despair
for an end come to all in time.
-
^ this was my favorite part of the poem.
Everything will fall apart, but throughout it all, the castle is still brave.
Very touching work. Excellent job.
--Mark(stxv)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Silverlion In reply to stxv [2005-07-20 19:52:26 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much. I appreciate it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
phr3ak000000000 [2005-07-18 22:30:38 +0000 UTC]
"so the fortress does fall
peice by peice
slowly crumbling down from its safe precipice" <~ outstanding flow, throughout, but that part, i thought to be so uniquely magnificent! good job, very nice peice good luck!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
phr3ak000000000 [2005-07-18 22:30:34 +0000 UTC]
"so the fortress does fall
peice by peice
slowly crumbling down from its safe precipice" <~ outstanding flow, throughout, but that part, i thought to be so uniquely magnificent! good job, very nice peice good luck!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
LostxLittlexGirl [2004-07-01 05:14:40 +0000 UTC]
I was checking out your Account 'cause I saw you commented on the Blanca&Sari pic.
Three words: I. Love. It.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1








