HOME | DD
Published: 2009-07-01 12:45:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 210; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 3
Redirect to original
Description
our laughter was deafening the skyso we spoke with our fingers
tracing lines and gracing spines
over brow and under breast
we tasted til we could see no more
and touched until sound evaporated
(into July air thick with peach and rum)
dribbling the silent sugary sap
that makes sticky fingers reluctant to leave flesh
and biting down like starving beggars
we startled a fire in the darkest places
breathing heat and seething sweet
above mountain and through valley
we wove a seamless blanket of silver rivers
and ivory towers
Related content
Comments: 7
RUNNrabbitRUNN [2009-09-12 00:20:56 +0000 UTC]
i um... scuse me i need to wipe the steam from my glasses.
that's really impressive and i am so bloody jealous cause i cannot write stuff like this. too inhibited.
this is beautiful and i knew exactly what each thing felt like! i was trying to find one line i liked most of all but i love every line!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
simplexkitten In reply to RUNNrabbitRUNN [2009-09-13 00:34:30 +0000 UTC]
I'll admit I was pretty close to wussing out and not submitting this one, but I did - yay dis-inhibition!
And doubleplus thank you for the lovely words.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
NikashaIniquitous [2009-07-01 17:19:15 +0000 UTC]
What a deliciously decadent offering. You have given voice to all those sensations that tend to leave one speechless.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
simplexkitten In reply to NikashaIniquitous [2009-07-02 22:20:57 +0000 UTC]
Thank you m'lady! I was worried it'd come off too smutty, but I'm happy you find it tasty!
And doubleplus thanks for the !
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
lindowyn-stock [2009-07-01 16:20:27 +0000 UTC]
I do, too. Enjoy it I mean. I really enjoy how condensed and humid the feel of the poem is. Between stickiness and alcohol and fire, you've managed to give the viewer an unapologetic and intimate feel.
Also, unrelated but similar note, I believe I owe you a Thank You.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
simplexkitten In reply to lindowyn-stock [2009-07-02 22:14:48 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad you dig it. I have a tendency to err on the side of long and wordy when writing, so I'm pleased to see a short piece can still be effective.
And... You're Welcome! I'm halfway through the Chronicles of Tammlin, and lovin' it so far. I promise to leave commentry there when I'm done.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lindowyn-stock In reply to simplexkitten [2009-07-03 03:30:39 +0000 UTC]
:blink: I had no idea you were reading it...>.> but I'm glad you are! I've gotten some really great feedback from people and am strangely looking forward to rewriting the choppy bits. Thanks so much once again!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0








