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SinsofMidnight — Songbird
Published: 2011-09-22 13:54:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 132; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description
Songbird:9/9/2010
I sing alone,
my tree-top haven
my protection
from the cold world below.
Songbird:
I sing the song
you need to hear;
I touch your heart
but who touches me?
Songbird,
Songbird:
I have no song
my own.
Will anyone
be my songbird?
I sing songs
slow and sweet,
fast and happy,
but these aren't my songs.
Will I ever have
a song of my own?
Will I ever escape
my safe prison?
Sing a song for me:
save me
from my loneliness.
Songbirds
are social,
not solitary.
Why am I alone?
I'm
always
alone.
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Comments: 7
This is a lovely piece, but perhaps it would work better as prose? (or at least as poetry without the line breaks)Its really a sweet and sad piece though
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It's just in the original state of how I wrote it...
I'm not puttqing down the the idea, but how would it make it better? Just curious
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Just at some points it feels like the line breaks have been put in for the sake of having line breaks:
Sing a song for me:
save me
from my loneliness.
Songbirds
are social,
not solitary.
That looks like it might work better as just sentences:
Sing a song for me: save me from my loneliness.
Songbirds are social, not solitary. Why am I alone?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I have this thing with some of my poems where I want to block up how it flows at point... I do it when I want to make a point, like with the last stanza you mentioned...
I have no clue what goes on up in my head, sometimes, but I so love that stanza that way...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ah okay, I see 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
