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Description

"Alright, I thank you three for coming on such short notice."

"No problem boss."
"Yeah, no prob'um"
"Whatever you need, we need."

"Quit the kiss-ass boys. Specially you Mitt."

"Sorry."

"Dont- alright whatever. As you know. Mitt, Greens, and Tommy boy, shit's fucked. The Army's been mauling itself into little pieces attacking that damned machine and its little machinations! And I dont know what the fuck they're doing down in 'Leans but its dreadfully painful to hear about it every day. Greens, Adams, I want to know what in the Great Bomb is going on with these troops! We've steamrolled and blasted down half the North with this Army! This can't be the same Great-damned army that tore through the Big Apple and Chi-cog'o, and now is struggling to move on some dusty old world machine and a city stuck eternally partying!"

"Well Bonn. We have a slight set of prob'ums"

"Yes, you see-"

"I know you have problems you low-burning fuses! That's why you're here! What is going on out there? What happened to your shit? Tanks made of scrap metal? Guns fashioned out of 12 different guns? This surely wasn't the same army that conquered the Northeast! What happened! Where did the pride of the Bombperial's greatest arm go off to? Did it drown with the Navy?"

"Well listen, Bonn I luv me a good warring and all, but we just can't keep fightin', thats why every vehicles we got is made of somethin' else."

"Not to mention you decided to take the Army and split it between a naval invasion and fighting a machine who was built for fighting."

"Adam's has a point."

"I was led to believe we could invade them at the same time! I was told by everyone that we could totally invade that rotten pile of bricks and that rotten king cake factory at the same time! I believe even you said so Greens!"

"Well, I said sep-"

"And you, Fat-Man, I believe it was you who inspected the troops and said that they were fine and able to go!"

"I inspected my troops and said they were fine-"

"And Mitt, you said we could fund ourselves and be self-sufficient with the Rust Cities. And I'm hearing that our troops are cannibalizing whatever they can find?"

"Of course but I didn't expect you-"

"Details, details, details. The Army's failure is catapulting our image into the ground! Trade's dropped by 60%, respect for the Bombpire internationally is going down, and worst of all internally people are thinking for themselves! I've had reports from across the Bombpire of protests and lockdowns! Imagine what happens when these filthy little freeniks turn violent instead of just sitting on their asses and chanting slogans! We need plans or else all our heads are gonna be rolling from the Lawrents River to Georgus!"

"Maybe we could. . ."

"I think I've a solution. . ."

"Perhaps we need this. . ."

'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}

Fixing the Crock-potted Army
Nothing good comes from letting the mainstay of the Bombpire run to waste now does it? We need to fix it- somehow. And while yours truly could fix it, its likely better in the long-term to let the other clods have thier voices heard. And granted it is a rather large problem, and some help from them would be appreciated in fixing this whole debacle. It is mostly their fault anyway.
Two options/suggestions can be accepted per subcategory.

-Direct Fixings-

A Purge of the Officer Corps.- "We can purge a few hundred, maybe thousand officers. Lets be honest Greens, I know a few of those officers weren't 'quality material' like you told me they were. They were old drinking buddies and I could tell because I could smell it on 'em. Not to mention I've a hunch more than a few are allowing these half-baked vehicles slide in exchange for money. . ."
(The officers are purged and replaced with newer more talented- and more loyal ones. This will cause a paralysis of any current operations and may lead to further unrest and instability in the short-term. The Bombpire centralizes further around Bonn the Bombperor.)

Logistics Needs to be Fixed- "Well, logically speaking, why we're cannibalizing so much is because they need supplies to fight! No supplies, no fighting! So they're just grabbing whatever fits and whatever works! The road network from the Rust Cities to the frontlines is heavily damaged from previous campaigns- including ours Bonn."
(Roads, rails, airports, and more are built and cars, trucks, and everything that can haul goods down to the front is pressed into service. This may lead to the uncovering of the old world "Interstate", massively helps future logistics problems. Increases Mitt's influence in the Bombpire.)

A More Patriotic Army- "What's clear is that these men don't want to fight! They're able to be crack-mechanics and able to cook up whatever the fuck kind of abominations they need, but they aren't so thrilled about dying for us. They want to look good, but not act good you get me boss-man Bonn?"
(The common soldiers now, and in the future, are taught to be patriotic. Every assault a victory for the Bombpire. Every retreat a failure. You will lay down your life for the will of the Bombperor and his wishes. Ave! Free will's overrated anyhow. Sgt. Greens' influence increases within the Bombpire.)

Talented Soldiers- "These men suffer from the same problems as our sailors. They're given a gun, a direction, and an order. Unlike say- my soldiers, true 'Renay-sauce Men' I say. Where they can build bridges, dig trenches, and know how to operate a fucking calculator to operate the most basic of artillery!"
(Soldiers and officers will be made to be educated men, how to properly fight, how to build fortifications, battle infrastructure such as pontoons and harbors. How to repair and build guns, weld vehicles in a pinch. The soldier shall be made into his best. Tommy 'Fat Man' Adams, will increase his social standing in the Bombpire.)

-For Our Posterity-

Bombperial Officers- "We can put talented men in the places we've purged, but what we also need are "corrections officers", making sure the new hires don't fuck up or fuck around. And to ensure their continued loyalty and respect the Bombpire deserves."
(Corrections officers will follow regular officers and generals around, ensuring their loyalty and commitment to the Bombperial way. . The Bombpire centralizes further around Bonn the Bombperor.)

Standardize Designs- "We're copying designs from everywhere sir. The junk-mobiles of the Big Apple, mixed with old world tanks, scrap trucks from the Dixons. Heck even a few Anchovyne designs repurposed for land! We need to streamline the designs for Bombperial tanks, vehicles, everything! No wonder we have problems with cannibalization sir! Its the only way anything gets built!"
(The Bombpire begins making standard production designs, tanks no longer mushed together, guns no longer scrapheap abominations. A spade is a spade, and a tank will be a tank. Increases Mitt's influence in the Bombpire.)

Encourage Cannibalization- "Why bother tryin' to standardize most anything. Its clear these soldiers are mechanics and smiths in their own right, allowing them to take advantage of enemy arsenals by adding it to our own makes our armed forces all the more powerful I say. Their guns now ours, thier wheels now join our vehicles, and thier motors now power our march forward!"
(Bombperial vehicles will never be properly standardized, instead looking like horrible bastard machines and the such. Will allow freedom from supply lines and a sort of easier time operating far from home. Sgt. Greens' influence increases within the Bombpire as a result.)

An Airforce its Own- "The only piece of the armed forces you've not smeared yet Bonn is the Airforce. Perhaps the Army if it is such a disheveled and horrible mess could use some airpower for its own uses. It would encourage some level of cooperation between branches and innovation, no?"
(The Army gets its own set of planes and balloons to use for its own operations. The Airforce and Army will start to compete more often, discouraging cooperation, but encouraging innovation. Tommy 'Fat Man' Adams, will increase his social standing in the Bombpire as well.)

'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}

"Alright, the Army should start fixing itself once we quit arguing over one another, now then, those filthy peaceniks. There are protestors across every major city, and Mr. Smile's been quite frowny about the decline of viewers! And several governors and mayors have asked me directly if they can begin shooting the little bastards! Of course, I understand making martyrs out of molehills isn't a 'great' idea, thoughts gentlemen?"

"We could always still shoot 'um."

"We could not."

"Well how else are you gonna put 'um down?"

"Negotiate?"

"And appear equal and weak to the lower classes? Great Bomb no, our reputation is tanking hard with the Army being buffoons, we don't need to appear weak as well."

"Well we can't just shoot our subjects. It makes them more angry."

"But we can't cave into them. I still vote for the shooting option if everything fails."

"I have an idea-"

"-it just might work-"

"-if you give it a chance, sir."

'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}

Putting Down the Protestors
Across the Bombpire protests and the occasional riot are beginning to rear their ugly heads. What was once loyal and somewhat tolerable subjects now stand and march peaceful protestors. This cannot be allowed to stand! They must cow at the Bombperors power, they must bow and kowtow to his great boisterousness. His demands are law, and these peaceniks seem to've forgot that truth.
One option can be selected. If there is no clear winner, the option to shoot the protestors goes through.

Sew Divisionism In the Ranks- "Its a simple idea, we go in, infiltrate these protests and turn them against one another. Make them un-coordinated. They may disrupt things locally but they'll all be too busy on themselves that they'll never see us crush them. It's an ingenious idea. Make them unable to trust even themselves!"
(The protests will die down and be more localized. However this also encourages people to think about what they're protesting and fighting for. Potentially creating more dangerous rioters in the long-run as they'll be ideologically motivated.)

False Flag Attack- "Alright so we shoot 'um. But in disguise. A few "violent" and "radical" "rioters" gun down a few peaceful protestors and boom! They'll run back to us as their saviors! If there's one thing that really shows who people are on the inside its a good ol' fashion'd fear a death! And those that start shootin' back we get free reign to shoot 'em too! We win no matter what we do!"
(This will radicalize the remaining protesters and turn them into rebels. However many of the protestors numbers will be thinned either through the false flag attacks or through cowardice and running back to us.)

Promise a Better Deal- "Clearly the people who've organized these revolts want to move up in the world. Power's what they crave Bonny-boy-" "Stop calling me that." "But what if we promise the leaders a better deal behind closed doors. The revolts fade away and we earn some charismatic and influential figures. And hey, those that don't, well- they're behind closed doors."
(Protest leaders will be offered a deal- to Join or to Die. Thin out a few protestors through the latter, and dissolve the protests and riots through the former. Though this may lead to the Bombpire gaining a few 'internal reformers' down the line.)

'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}

"Alright, I still think we should shoot the bastards and be done with it. What else can be discussed today?"

"My own personal kingdom? These two morons already have thier own."

"Oh buzzer off, its not a 'kingdom', its a laboratory."

"Same thing, your own little chunk of land."

"Well now hold it fatass, why should you get your own kingdom?"

"I can't be a true man of the nobility and not have my own kingdom!"

"You won't be a man of 'the nobility' if you keep whining."

"Like you're any better, Mr. Whackadoodle Science Major?"

"I have 5 certified degrees in actual sciences you shell-shocked shortfuse!"

"Oh look at you, 5 degrees! Wow! How many of them matter in reality?"

"How about picking on someone your own intellectual level Greens?"

"Well I oughta!-" "Dont you call me stupid you-" "Going to try it Greens?"

"QUIET!"
"All of you shut up. We've came here to do what's necessary for the Bombpire."

"Mitt. Quit flaunting around your 5 degrees or I'll ship you to where its permanently 5 degrees!"

"Greens, don't make me demote you from 'Sergeant' to 'Green' and let you to die for your country."

"And Adams, I'll get you your 'kingdom', but I don't wanna hear any bullshit alright? If I hear you made Greens or Mitt here kiss your boots, I'm using you as the Bombpire's first nuclear weapon!"

"Now then, you're all dismissed. I'll get everything sorted out."

"Sorry Bonn."

"Sorry 'bout this."

"I've terribly mistaken."

"Quit the kiss-ass and go save the Great-Bomb'd Bombpire."

. . .

"I hate politics."

'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}

The fourth chapter ends April 3rd, @ noon PST.
Be there or be bombed.
Rulebreakers get shot.

Description

"Alright, I thank you three for coming on such short notice."

"No problem boss."
"Yeah, no prob'um"
"Whatever you need, we need."

"Quit the kiss-ass boys. Specially you Mitt."

"Sorry."

"Dont- alright whatever. As you know. Mitt, Greens, and Tommy boy, shit's fucked. The Army's been mauling itself into little pieces attacking that damned machine and its little machinations! And I dont know what the fuck they're doing down in 'Leans but its dreadfully painful to hear about it every day. Greens, Adams, I want to know what in the Great Bomb is going on with these troops! We've steamrolled and blasted down half the North with this Army! This can't be the same Great-damned army that tore through the Big Apple and Chi-cog'o, and now is struggling to move on some dusty old world machine and a city stuck eternally partying!"

"Well Bonn. We have a slight set of prob'ums"

"Yes, you see-"

"I know you have problems you low-burning fuses! That's why you're here! What is going on out there? What happened to your shit? Tanks made of scrap metal? Guns fashioned out of 12 different guns? This surely wasn't the same army that conquered the Northeast! What happened! Where did the pride of the Bombperial's greatest arm go off to? Did it drown with the Navy?"

"Well listen, Bonn I luv me a good warring and all, but we just can't keep fightin', thats why every vehicles we got is made of somethin' else."

"Not to mention you decided to take the Army and split it between a naval invasion and fighting a machine who was built for fighting."

"Adam's has a point."

"I was led to believe we could invade them at the same time! I was told by everyone that we could totally invade that rotten pile of bricks and that rotten king cake factory at the same time! I believe even you said so Greens!"

"Well, I said sep-"

"And you, Fat-Man, I believe it was you who inspected the troops and said that they were fine and able to go!"

"I inspected my troops and said they were fine-"

"And Mitt, you said we could fund ourselves and be self-sufficient with the Rust Cities. And I'm hearing that our troops are cannibalizing whatever they can find?"

"Of course but I didn't expect you-"

"Details, details, details. The Army's failure is catapulting our image into the ground! Trade's dropped by 60%, respect for the Bombpire internationally is going down, and worst of all internally people are thinking for themselves! I've had reports from across the Bombpire of protests and lockdowns! Imagine what happens when these filthy little freeniks turn violent instead of just sitting on their asses and chanting slogans! We need plans or else all our heads are gonna be rolling from the Lawrents River to Georgus!"

"Maybe we could. . ."

"I think I've a solution. . ."

"Perhaps we need this. . ."

'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}

Fixing the Crock-potted Army
Nothing good comes from letting the mainstay of the Bombpire run to waste now does it? We need to fix it- somehow. And while yours truly could fix it, its likely better in the long-term to let the other clods have thier voices heard. And granted it is a rather large problem, and some help from them would be appreciated in fixing this whole debacle. It is mostly their fault anyway.
Two options/suggestions can be accepted per subcategory.

-Direct Fixings-

A Purge of the Officer Corps.- "We can purge a few hundred, maybe thousand officers. Lets be honest Greens, I know a few of those officers weren't 'quality material' like you told me they were. They were old drinking buddies and I could tell because I could smell it on 'em. Not to mention I've a hunch more than a few are allowing these half-baked vehicles slide in exchange for money. . ."
(The officers are purged and replaced with newer more talented- and more loyal ones. This will cause a paralysis of any current operations and may lead to further unrest and instability in the short-term. The Bombpire centralizes further around Bonn the Bombperor.)

Logistics Needs to be Fixed- "Well, logically speaking, why we're cannibalizing so much is because they need supplies to fight! No supplies, no fighting! So they're just grabbing whatever fits and whatever works! The road network from the Rust Cities to the frontlines is heavily damaged from previous campaigns- including ours Bonn."
(Roads, rails, airports, and more are built and cars, trucks, and everything that can haul goods down to the front is pressed into service. This may lead to the uncovering of the old world "Interstate", massively helps future logistics problems. Increases Mitt's influence in the Bombpire.)

A More Patriotic Army- "What's clear is that these men don't want to fight! They're able to be crack-mechanics and able to cook up whatever the fuck kind of abominations they need, but they aren't so thrilled about dying for us. They want to look good, but not act good you get me boss-man Bonn?"
(The common soldiers now, and in the future, are taught to be patriotic. Every assault a victory for the Bombpire. Every retreat a failure. You will lay down your life for the will of the Bombperor and his wishes. Ave! Free will's overrated anyhow. Sgt. Greens' influence increases within the Bombpire.)

Talented Soldiers- "These men suffer from the same problems as our sailors. They're given a gun, a direction, and an order. Unlike say- my soldiers, true 'Renay-sauce Men' I say. Where they can build bridges, dig trenches, and know how to operate a fucking calculator to operate the most basic of artillery!"
(Soldiers and officers will be made to be educated men, how to properly fight, how to build fortifications, battle infrastructure such as pontoons and harbors. How to repair and build guns, weld vehicles in a pinch. The soldier shall be made into his best. Tommy 'Fat Man' Adams, will increase his social standing in the Bombpire.)

-For Our Posterity-

Bombperial Officers- "We can put talented men in the places we've purged, but what we also need are "corrections officers", making sure the new hires don't fuck up or fuck around. And to ensure their continued loyalty and respect the Bombpire deserves."
(Corrections officers will follow regular officers and generals around, ensuring their loyalty and commitment to the Bombperial way. . The Bombpire centralizes further around Bonn the Bombperor.)

Standardize Designs- "We're copying designs from everywhere sir. The junk-mobiles of the Big Apple, mixed with old world tanks, scrap trucks from the Dixons. Heck even a few Anchovyne designs repurposed for land! We need to streamline the designs for Bombperial tanks, vehicles, everything! No wonder we have problems with cannibalization sir! Its the only way anything gets built!"
(The Bombpire begins making standard production designs, tanks no longer mushed together, guns no longer scrapheap abominations. A spade is a spade, and a tank will be a tank. Increases Mitt's influence in the Bombpire.)

Encourage Cannibalization- "Why bother tryin' to standardize most anything. Its clear these soldiers are mechanics and smiths in their own right, allowing them to take advantage of enemy arsenals by adding it to our own makes our armed forces all the more powerful I say. Their guns now ours, thier wheels now join our vehicles, and thier motors now power our march forward!"
(Bombperial vehicles will never be properly standardized, instead looking like horrible bastard machines and the such. Will allow freedom from supply lines and a sort of easier time operating far from home. Sgt. Greens' influence increases within the Bombpire as a result.)

An Airforce its Own- "The only piece of the armed forces you've not smeared yet Bonn is the Airforce. Perhaps the Army if it is such a disheveled and horrible mess could use some airpower for its own uses. It would encourage some level of cooperation between branches and innovation, no?"
(The Army gets its own set of planes and balloons to use for its own operations. The Airforce and Army will start to compete more often, discouraging cooperation, but encouraging innovation. Tommy 'Fat Man' Adams, will increase his social standing in the Bombpire as well.)

'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}

"Alright, the Army should start fixing itself once we quit arguing over one another, now then, those filthy peaceniks. There are protestors across every major city, and Mr. Smile's been quite frowny about the decline of viewers! And several governors and mayors have asked me directly if they can begin shooting the little bastards! Of course, I understand making martyrs out of molehills isn't a 'great' idea, thoughts gentlemen?"

"We could always still shoot 'um."

"We could not."

"Well how else are you gonna put 'um down?"

"Negotiate?"

"And appear equal and weak to the lower classes? Great Bomb no, our reputation is tanking hard with the Army being buffoons, we don't need to appear weak as well."

"Well we can't just shoot our subjects. It makes them more angry."

"But we can't cave into them. I still vote for the shooting option if everything fails."

"I have an idea-"

"-it just might work-"

"-if you give it a chance, sir."

'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}

Putting Down the Protestors
Across the Bombpire protests and the occasional riot are beginning to rear their ugly heads. What was once loyal and somewhat tolerable subjects now stand and march peaceful protestors. This cannot be allowed to stand! They must cow at the Bombperors power, they must bow and kowtow to his great boisterousness. His demands are law, and these peaceniks seem to've forgot that truth.
One option can be selected. If there is no clear winner, the option to shoot the protestors goes through.

Sew Divisionism In the Ranks- "Its a simple idea, we go in, infiltrate these protests and turn them against one another. Make them un-coordinated. They may disrupt things locally but they'll all be too busy on themselves that they'll never see us crush them. It's an ingenious idea. Make them unable to trust even themselves!"
(The protests will die down and be more localized. However this also encourages people to think about what they're protesting and fighting for. Potentially creating more dangerous rioters in the long-run as they'll be ideologically motivated.)

False Flag Attack- "Alright so we shoot 'um. But in disguise. A few "violent" and "radical" "rioters" gun down a few peaceful protestors and boom! They'll run back to us as their saviors! If there's one thing that really shows who people are on the inside its a good ol' fashion'd fear a death! And those that start shootin' back we get free reign to shoot 'em too! We win no matter what we do!"
(This will radicalize the remaining protesters and turn them into rebels. However many of the protestors numbers will be thinned either through the false flag attacks or through cowardice and running back to us.)

Promise a Better Deal- "Clearly the people who've organized these revolts want to move up in the world. Power's what they crave Bonny-boy-" "Stop calling me that." "But what if we promise the leaders a better deal behind closed doors. The revolts fade away and we earn some charismatic and influential figures. And hey, those that don't, well- they're behind closed doors."
(Protest leaders will be offered a deal- to Join or to Die. Thin out a few protestors through the latter, and dissolve the protests and riots through the former. Though this may lead to the Bombpire gaining a few 'internal reformers' down the line.)

'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}

"Alright, I still think we should shoot the bastards and be done with it. What else can be discussed today?"

"My own personal kingdom? These two morons already have thier own."

"Oh buzzer off, its not a 'kingdom', its a laboratory."

"Same thing, your own little chunk of land."

"Well now hold it fatass, why should you get your own kingdom?"

"I can't be a true man of the nobility and not have my own kingdom!"

"You won't be a man of 'the nobility' if you keep whining."

"Like you're any better, Mr. Whackadoodle Science Major?"

"I have 5 certified degrees in actual sciences you shell-shocked shortfuse!"

"Oh look at you, 5 degrees! Wow! How many of them matter in reality?"

"How about picking on someone your own intellectual level Greens?"

"Well I oughta!-" "Dont you call me stupid you-" "Going to try it Greens?"

"QUIET!"
"All of you shut up. We've came here to do what's necessary for the Bombpire."

"Mitt. Quit flaunting around your 5 degrees or I'll ship you to where its permanently 5 degrees!"

"Greens, don't make me demote you from 'Sergeant' to 'Green' and let you to die for your country."

"And Adams, I'll get you your 'kingdom', but I don't wanna hear any bullshit alright? If I hear you made Greens or Mitt here kiss your boots, I'm using you as the Bombpire's first nuclear weapon!"

"Now then, you're all dismissed. I'll get everything sorted out."

"Sorry Bonn."

"Sorry 'bout this."

"I've terribly mistaken."

"Quit the kiss-ass and go save the Great-Bomb'd Bombpire."

. . .

"I hate politics."

'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}-'O-[]-()-{X}

The fourth chapter ends April 3rd, @ noon PST.
Be there or be bombed.
Rulebreakers get shot.