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Today was going to be a long day.

Bonn walked through the Palace towards the Palace's 'Grand War Room', where Greens and Benjamine had gathered to discuss the future of the war against Bill and eventually against the Anchovynes, as well as engage in the usual Army-Navy shitfling they often did during these Palace meetings. Alongside him for the recent meetings was his Empress- the Queen of the Bombpire- Queen Camila. A rather nice woman all things considered, just one small problem. As a priest of the dead and all that wasn't living, Camila could not speak. She was mute to be bluntly obvious. Camila usually communicated through signs and writing, her penmanship dare Bonn say was better than his. But given signage was not Bonn's language of choice, it left writing as the usual go-to between the two.

Which meant walking in the halls or down corridors left the two in complete silence.

It was too early in the morning for the Palace to seriously start functioning, the awkward walk was magnified by a lack of anybody to have a side conversation with or delegate orders to on the way to the War Room. It was just them, and them alone against the biggest trigger-happy idiots in the Bombpire.

The two strolled down the Palace's elegant renovated old-world architecture both awkwardly silent. The two eyed one another giving one another the "yeah today's gonna suck" look. Camila- as Queen of the Bombpire had become accustomed to Bombperial press and the people. But to the inner workings within the Palace. No. Bonn's lackies and friends proved to be a bit more of a hassle to become accustomed to. And Greens- the biggest belligerent on land against Benjamine, one of the most belligerent things on the ocean. The two together, shouting one another often gave Bonn headaches, Camila would voice her annoyances had she the ability to speak, she liberally wrote them out on every notecard in the Palace instead.

As the two came closer, the shouting match leaked through the walls and out of the doors.

"YOU WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO WAGE A WAR IF THE MANUAL HIT YOU IN THE FACE!"

"YARR BE FULL OF CORAL AND YARR FUSE BE WATERLOGGED IF YE THINK YE BE A BETTER WARRIOR THAN ME"

"I CAN AT LEAST FORM A COHERENT SENTENCE YOU HALF-PIRATE HALF-DUD ALL-BLOWHARD!"

"ARRRLIGHTY THEN YA WATERLOGGED LAD I'LL SHOW YA WHAT HAPPEN' WHEN YA MAKE ME MAD!"

Bonn opened the doors, seeing them at the opposite end of the room from where Camila and Bonn were soon-to-be-sitting, standing up in front of a map of the Bombpire. As much as he'd prefer these two to explode and end the meeting now, not having Greens or Benjamine at the forefront of thier respective posts meant the Army and the Navy suffered temporarily from thier loss. Not to mention, it took days to clean it up last time it happened. The first time they blew up was the last time they'd blow up he figured.

"Gents. Do you mind? I'd like my palace in one piece."

Camila shot a stern look at the two belligerents and signed out a threat.

"Now then. What is all this bullshit about today?"

"Aargh, I were promised a fine fun war against tha' filddy' water-walkers wid' all tha' booty and glory a proper war entailed! But the waterlogged fuselet has been stallin' on tha' war! Me crews are growin' restless sittin' 'way in tha' ports!"

Bonn pinched the space between his eyes, he hated when Ahab tried speaking more like a pirate.
"In a language we can all understand Ahab!"

"Arrgh, fine. Greens's is stallin' in the war against Buffalo Bill. He's hoggin' all tha' money, time, and resources for 'imself! The navy's getting tired of waitin' me Bombperor! We want our war now!"

"I'm sorry you lousy literal water-breather do you need to shoot billions of buffalo? Do you realize how hard it is to shoot a fucking buffalo? Buffalo don't surrender! Buffalo don't negotiate! Buffalo just charge, make noise, and die! Hopefully in that order! Not to mention the idiot leading all the buffalo is as dumb as a dud! He dosen't understand 3-syllable words, and I think he's barely grasping 2-syllables. Surrender's not anywhere in his head 'cause its all suffocated by his thick skull!"

"Then tha war should be easy you scurvy-ridden sulfurite!"

"I don't see you shooting water buffalo you rusted piece of shit!"

That comment struck Ahab Benjamine deep, call him a dud, call him a waterlogged bottom feeder, call him anything you want, but the beard. The beard made out of a carefully maintained rust, no that was too far. It was like insulting a man's vessel. A man's pride was at stake with that comment struck him deep in his core.

"I urge you to take back your comment right this secund before I make ya wish yew had a momma!"

Greens readied his fists while Ben raised his as well before Bonn brought out a gavel from hammerspace and knocked it on the table.

"Cram it crawdad. Ahab you'll get to make your case. Greens? Can you state your case?"

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-=An Order of Buffalo Wings=-
With the war preparations against the Anchovynes nearing completion, and Admiral Ahab Benjamines fleets at the ready, many political figures and much of the Admiralty are pushing for war with the fish-mongers. However with war against Buffalo Bill still going, a two-front war isn't popular with anyone with higher counts of braincells than 4. Though with discontent within the Admiralty, and Benjamine's privateer roots also beginning to re-surface, Bombperial leadership worries that a rouge Navy will start a war without thier supervision.
(Three choices can be made.)

Deals with the Peoples- The various other nobodies around Bill's Khanate, have expended their resources and auxiliaries in the war against us, throwing militias and barely functional armored formations our way to be easily dusted and turned to scrap. I- we can make deals with the tribes, convincing them to surrender, leaving Bill alone, but more importantly- angrier. The angrier Bill gets the stupider and more rash he becomes. Of course also being angrier also means less likely to surrender himself.
(The various lesser nations within Bill's sphere will be granted a 45% chance to surrender. While individually they're all small and petty, Collectively losing even a handful of these nations means less supplies for Bill to grab.)

Honk Our Horns- End of the day, buffalo are still animals. Instead of wasting money and guns on 'em, we could always screaming. Screaming's free. Or rather in the case of vehicles- honk. Deafening the herds out with large vehicular noises. Upon the Plains we shall set sail a fleet of tanks and trucks and shall part the waves of creatures commanded by the God of the Plains..
(Our vehicles will be made more obnoxious. Intimidating even. The Bombpire's Army will gain something akin to a 'battle cry'. When you'll hear the horns of war you shall run in fear or face the other 'horns' of the Bombperial Army. The buffalo will have 4 dice rolls, a successful roll will see a herd intimidated.)

Traitorous Critters- Buffaloes are still dumb, dumb creatures, as much as they are intimidating. Loud noises, bullets, napalm, all these things a buffalo can certainly face, but they're still internally shitting themselves at it. Recruiting spies and animal handlers to lead and train buffalo corps. our own from Bill's personal collection would help thin the numbers.
(How successful they'd be, impossible to say given buffaloes don't take numbers. But hey! Wheat and rye is cheaper than an A7-X standard anti-Tank gun. And having buffalo populations for our purposes would allow us to better understand these horribly magnificent creatures. Not to mention as good propaganda pieces. The buffalo will have 4 dice rolls, a successful roll will see a herd turncoat.)

Declare Victory at Regio- Old world archives suggest a provincial hub located on the city of Regio. Outside of Bill's personal encampment, the city itself is one of the few places in the Khanate that is settled by people. And as such is a key industrial hub for the Khanate, manufacturing buffalo-related armor and equipment, with limited quantities of sapient-related amenities.
(Walking into the city and declaring it a Bombperial outpost would likely make the local population rejoice. Serving sapients instead of buffalo is an upgrade of social status. And with Regio's capture, the Khanate would be fatally crippled. The Khanate has a 30% chance to collapse in the next year, but every year we hold Regio that the Khanate dosen't fall, that chance rises by 10%.)

Attempt a Summit- With the Star Gazer's surrender, and Man-o-War-tioba soon to collapse, and Bill's territory being used as a napalm testing ground- calling on Bill for peace would allow us to consolidate our gains in the west, and move all focus to the eastern coast and to the eventual Anchovyne war.
(Bill and his 'court' will be called to a peace summit in Saint Louis. The proposed 'white peace', we receive the conquered vassal states, Bill has his land returned, and we get ten years of peace between our nations. Though I don't believe Bill is able to comprehend diplomacy beyond 'screaming at it'. This has a 60% chance to fail. Bill cannot comprehend the word 'surrender', but maybe we can try and make him learn 'peace', this has a 25% chance to work.)
or
Call on the 'Company'- The Hudson Company, a fluctuating NGO north of the Bombpire's territory, the Hudson Company is a roving band of mercantile mercenaries who runs the far-north towns and ports of the Hudson Bay also 'on occasion' is for hire for military services. Hiring the Hudson Company as a permanent extension of the Bombpire would provide some much-needed stability on the northern border and allow for raids into the northern tundral plains of Buffalo Bill's turf.
(The Hudson Company, the Company, or 'the Hudsoneers', will be a permanent 'addition' of the Bombpire. Being technically independent of the Bombpire we could settle for a less favorable 'peace deal' [though think of it more an armistice]. And then keep Bill occupied in the far north with the Hudson Company mercenaries while we shoot fish in a barrel.)

Salt and Pepper the Earth- Bill and his worthless Khanate don't need to be wholly occupied, it just needs to be destroyed. Such a despot of the northern frontier, to destroy him and his empire would earn the Bombpire good favor across Northumer and her internal Zones. Bonn the Great Liberator of the North, they shall hail me as.
(A lightning fast campaign of destruction and mayhem across the northern frontiers will be permitted. Bill's buffalo army will starve without grass, and the few people that populate his Khanate will turn on their once sacred buffalo for feasts. Bill will be disgraced, and I! I shall be a hero! This is a guaranteed victory. Though it also does break the Khanate, creating a power vacuum in the north.)

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"All I'm saying is that we need to concentrate efforts on downing Bill. He's running a war of attrition, we're losing men and he's just losing stupid fucking farm animals. We need to concentrate our efforts on destroying Bill. Aerial recon has shown that his herds are heavily thinning and we need one grand push, one final big bang and we'll break the horde! Or maybe a few more pushes. . . but still Bonn, please. We need to focus on the war!"

Bonn and Camila were writing on note cards at their end of the table, said note cards were asking if one another where dinner would be at after this meeting.

"Hey, listen!"

The notecards slipped off the table and Camila bent down to pick them up while Bonn re-focused on Greens. "Uh-huh yes, good points."

"All I'm saying boss is that you've seen these fucking hulks of meat right? You've seen the shit Bill pulls? I can't complete it in one year! The man's got an inexhaustible supply of buffalo!"

"I've seen plenty of it Greens, I've seen plenty of what you're saying, however I need you to go faster. Be reckless if you have to, because if you don't we'll all be in deep buffalo shit."

"But how Bonn? Do I need to remind you I'm the one you put in charge of the invasion? I know how Bill works! I know his stuff! I've been beating this stupid brute back for 3 and a half years now. This is a war of attrition!"

"Greens don't fucking question my authority here. Alright? I know what you do, and I also know what the fuck I do." Bonn rose from his seat and strolled over to Benjamine and put his arm on his shoulder. "And I know that the Navy is also a band of brigands and slightly gawdy pirates." Bonn gestured with his hands at Ahabs form. His tricorne hat tipped with a feather, a 'beard' of rust covering the lower half of his face and some of his spikes. A uniform that looked not-to-out-place on an old old world wooden vessel. And a barnacle that had camped out on an arm that Bonn flicked away.

"Dawwrgh."

"Listen Greens, I understand what you do, but I also understand that the Navy is led by this fucking thing. And that if I don't deliver on this war that I promised, these fucking brigands will either start rioting and raiding the coast. Or worse. They'll start a war on thier own."
Bonn shifted from Ahab's side and moved over to Greens.

"I know what the fuck is happening. And I am saying we need a big result now or else we'll find a two-way war."

"You got that?"

"But Bonn-boss man."

"Find. A. Fucking. Way."

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-=Cementing the Marriage=-
The one year anniversary for this marriage is coming up, Some still detract the marriage, calling it 'merely political'. While that claim is true, we need to stop those kinds of truths from surfacing. Others simply dislike the idea of a Bomb and a Human marrying, claiming it 'sinful' or otherwise 'impossible'. Whatever the opposing problem is, faith in this marriage is reaching a low point, with the one year anniversary coming up, people expect big things by now. And by the Fuse we'll give it to 'em. Something big for everyone! Something to shut 'em up.
(Results need to happen! Now! One for each category!)

-The Domain of El Muerte-
Lest this marriage be dead in the water.

Bombperial-Styled Industry- Bombperial industry relies mainly on slaves, 'unwilling contractors', and other people-related positions- while we do have large quantities of industrial machinery, it is mostly local sweatshops and workshops that ironically do the heavy lifting of Bombperial industry. Contracting a few factory owners and Greens to build and send workers to the Domain to help boost their industry would allow the Domain to move beyond a mostly agricultural economy.
(The Bombpire will regularly send more 'willing' contractors and workers to the Domain to assist thier industrial output and factory managers will teach Domain industrialists how to properly industrialize.)

Temple Run- The Abominable Temple Grounds- or 'Dead Walkers Jungle' due to the folklore of undead sorcerers and voodoo witchcraft stalking the region has been a pustule on Northumer since the Greatest Clobberin'. With the Domain now in our 'domain', agitators from within the Domain's religious (and by extension political) caste have asked our assistance in clearing out the Temple Grounds. With our new excess amounts of flamethrowers and Peyote hunters from the war against Bill, perhaps clearing out this Jungle will be an easy affair.
(This will delay the war against the Anchovynes until the Temple Grounds are cleared! However doing so will net a lot of good favor and fortune from the Domain's population, and the Bombpire will be seen in a more 'positive light' internationally.)

Colony of New Ginya- Along the more eastern portions and under-developed portions of the Domain are some rather fertile grounds for a potential settlement of Bombperial citizenry. Convincing the Domain to allow settlement and the establishment of 'New Ginya' would bring a much needed economic hub in the Domain's northeastern provinces, spurring development in the region as well as allowing future exploitation of the Gulf Oil Sea and its- well its oil. On top of that we could also say its a 'cultural exchange program', Domain citizenry and Bombperial citizenry meet in one beautiful little town showing off both our wonderful nations.
(New Ginya will take time to develop and build up. But once fully settled, it'd allow us to have a firm foothold in the Domain and potentially within the Longhorn lands.)

-The Bombperial Boominion-
Or else this union explode into little pieces.

Northern Domain Mining- The Northern Domain is rich in minerals and ores thanks to the mountainous terrain, and the sandstorms from the Glass Wastes bring down particles of gold, silver, and [REDACTED], usually poisoning the rivers but hey- gold-panning isn't exclusive to gold-panning. Mining contracts in the Northern provinces would allow the Bombpire to extract a fair amount of wealth to return back home.
(The Bombpire will gain a lease on several mining towns and potential spots for mining and resource collection in Northern Domain territory. Allowing collection of rare minerals and other valuable gems not seen regularly within Bombperial territory.)

99 Years for Vallarta- Legally, the longest time one can have a lease to anything is less than one hundred years. Technically the longest time is 99 years. Buying Vallarta Island for 99 years to use as a Bombperial naval base will be plenty satisfying, especially to the Admiralty and more thalassocratic within the party. With a Bombperial base- nay- Bombperial territory on the Great Western Ocean, this will allow us greater freedom in deciding and screwing around with the western polities.
(Vallarta Island, a small tropical island will be home to a Bombperial naval base, and maybe a resort too. I feel like a nice day at the beach is what every great leader needs.)

The Adams-Greens Space Base- Something the two bloated bomb-brains agree on, a space program. Though for different reasons, they both understand that with the amount of missiles we have and records showing old civilizations on the old world sending rockets into space, it is possible to escape the gravitational pull and get out into space. Such an achievement they say has never been done since the Greatest Clobberin' and would propel the Bombpire forward decades.
(The Domain will sell a large plot of land for an aerospace base in the Southern provinces. Such a base and program will take time to complete however. And with the Temple Grounds harassing of the Southern provinces, it might be dangerous too.)

-Something for Everyone-
To please even the most stubborn of objectors.

A Castro-Brand Cigar- The Castro Archipelago sits between the Bombpire and the Domain. For a while we've thought of taking over the islands, however such expansion was challenged by a lack of a proper navy and a proper amphibious army. With the naval reforms made by Ahab Benjamine and the rather 'alright' invasion of Nawleans, a few on both sides of the Archipelago have argued an invasion would be mutually beneficial.
(An invasion of the Castro Archipelago will be carried out by Domain and Bombperial forces. One prong from the north and the east, and one from the south and west. We'll divide up the islands fairly and equally.)

This Feels Familiar- The Longhorns stand between us and the Domain. And while they fear an invasion from two angles, we can assure them that the Bombpire and the Domain are committed to the ideas of 'peace and prosperity'. All we ask for is a simple rail corridor across the land to access and connect the Domain with Bombperial territory.
(This does feel strangely familiar. A rail corridor across Tex- the Longhorn lands will be permitted and leased out for 99 years. Oh sweet Longhorn, like we're gonna need your permission to use it that long but the optimism is nice.)

Stabilize Claims- The Domain and the Bombpire both have varying territorial aspirations in Northumer. While the Bombpire is trying to lay claim to all of the Umeric continents, with the Domain a junior partner/Bombperial vassal state it'd be easy on our future bureaucracy and satisfy Domain nationalists to draw up territorial claims for our posterity.
(Claims across the Northumer continent will be drawn, dividing the line between Bombpire and Domain territory. Though arguably it still is and will be all Bombperial territory. But theatrics is an important part of running a nation.)

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"What do you mean find a way? I've been finding ways! That's my whole job!"

"Clearly you need some outside encouragement and help!"

"Don't fucking sass me man, I'm the guy you put in charge of the Army, I know my goddamn Army."

"And I know that. But results are results. And the Army can do fine slowly walking along, but you know what fucking can't? My leadership, and by extension- your leadership! We need a good PR move, we may need a few, but slowly trudging along, shooting buffalo is good and all, but it dosen't win the will of the people. It dosen't win the minds of people like those rioters in Delphia. It dosen't win over things like Benny boy over here. I understand Greens; that in a fight between the Bombpire and Bill- the Bombpire wins, but you damn well know who dosen't know that?"

Bonn walks back to his side of the table continuing the rant-
"Every-day normal people who go to work, eat, sleep, and pay taxes. People that don't care about grand reaching stratagem or operations of battle. You know what they care about? What they see on TV. These dumb stupid morons see us desperately trying to push past a horde of buffalo. These morons see the worst of the Bombperial Armed Forces, or they hear casualty numbers and they don't see those numbers as 'acceptable sacrifices' they go "Where my boys at?" "Where's my sons and daughters?" "My husband or wife?" They don't care about the grand picture, they can't see the grand picture. And I want you to fucking understand Greens, one last time. I understand you're doing great in the war."

Bonn didn't sit down and instead kept hovering around the chair,
"I just need you to understand what the fuck I'm dealing with. Aight?"

"Alright."

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-=War Plan Blue=-

We have the goods, we have the ships, and we have the idiots necessary for the war. We just kinda need to put it together. Guns blazing is a good strategy, save for the part where fire dosen't work underwater. So its just sad, soggy guns shooting sad, soggy bullets at sad, soggy fish. We need a definitive plan in action, cause while atomic depth charges are cool, we need to balance where they'll be set off or else we just cause a whole load of undersea quakes for nothing. Well it would be funny as the Fuse to destroy a lot of fish with atomic bombs, but still.
(Three prongs to the affix the trident of the Bombpire!)

Test Their Mettle- The Bombperial Guard has some limited undersea capabilities, a few private submersible craft and underwater diving uniforms. Giving them the green-and-go to try and assassinate the Empress as a first strike would cripple the leadership of the Imperium immediately. Even if they fail at killing the Empress, considerable panic and chaos would cause the Imperium to make rash and 'unwise' decisions.
(This does have a 60% chance to succeed off the bat. Failure or success however, expect similar treatment to befall Bonn.)
or
Experimental Murder- Mitt and Greens were disappointed in the fact a drone army wouldn't be ordered for the war. But Mitt's been pushing robots so much its been slightly growing on and annoying me. We'll listen to his pleas and send a few with the invasion. The drones we'll be able to send are dumb drones who can only explode and die. Fortunately thats good enough for government work.
(The drones will be sent to assassinate Empress Mairene, though given how dumb and limited they are, thats a 5% chance to work. Of course, subsequent drone strikes will be able to 'learn' from this, success or failure, raising the chances of future successful drone strikes.)

A 'Popular' Uprising- The Anchovyne groups we have on our money roll are a wide-ranging set of political issues and ideas, we could likely garner popular support from the public if we unified these groups under a singular leader and expelled some of the radicals. With a popular uprising we could paralyze the Imperium while we strike fear into it.
(The 'Anchovyne Popular Front', a 'constitutional monarchist' party will be formed by merging some of the disparate Anchovyne factions we have, and will start a proper civil war within the Imperium. Should we be victorious the 'A.P.F.' will be the center of a Bombperial puppet government.)
or
Expunge the Center- Centrists don't fight as much or as dirty as political extremists do. By focusing attention and resources on radical factions within Anchovyne society we can create a brutal and deadly insurrection throughout the Imperium, dragging the Imperium's resources away to try and fight thier own. Even if we lose this war (which we shouldn't) the radicals will continue to fight without our support, proving a nuisance for a long while.
(Should we win however, we will have to take sides with one of many radical factions, and proving a nuisance for any puppet government or any occupation forces. We could however also still use them to our advantage.)

Quakes in Our Wake- The atomic depth charges can't reach the bottom of the ocean and hit the floor. But we can still cause earthquakes through thier shockwaves. Making them as explosive as possible and positioning atomic depth charge detonation sites at strategic and especially weak points around the Imperium would trap thousands under rubble and severely damage critical infrastructure such as geothermal plants.
(This will cause the Anchovynes to be crippled throughout the war, post-war we will have to rebuild and undo a lot of the damage should we win. Said detonations however will have a slight chance of triggering an underwater volcano or a few. . .)
or
Strategic Storms- Filling the depth charges with as much 'dirty material', uranium, cobalt, and other heavy metals and radioactive substances would allow us to poison the Anchovynes by spreading out the fallout across swathes of the ocean floor. The Bombpire will have its work cut out for it. Their sailors will be too busy coughing up poison and tar to fight us. A triumph through the Empresses city guaranteed!
(Said poison will linger, causing health problems below the surface and above it. And likely fallout will hit and affect places like Big Apple and Eastern Ginya. Any potential puppet government we put in place will be poisoned from the get-go.)

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"Alright. Ahab. Your case."

"Greens's been taking too long in his war! You said it yerself! Green's is taken' too long and now the Navy wants its fill and it wants its war!"

"Greens has been busy fighting Bill for the last three years. That's why the Army's getting the most resources!"

"Arrg! But we should be gettin' more 'sources for the war against the sirens of tha' sea! Besides, Greens be skimming off the top! Some tha' nerds in the Navy've seen the recurds! Green's is takin' a lil' extra himself!"

"Greens. . . is that true?"

Bonn and Camila looked at Greens like a parents catching thier kid in the cookie jar.

"A little. It's for a project I'm working on. I swear it'll be worth it."

Camila signed out to Bonn- "How long, and how worth it will it be?"

"A few years. But sir it'll be worth it. You'll be one of the most- if not the most powerful thing on Northumer cause of it."

Bonn and Camila's eyes were raised, Camila signed to Bonn and Bonn whispered back.

"Alright. Fine. But I want to see it immediately after this. You make a bold claim like that, that's taking first priority."

Bonn turned back to Ahab.
"Now then. What do you have to show for your little doses of corruption?"

"Yar, wha'?"

"Oh come on, don't think I don't know about the extra money you make on the side and on my payroll."

"I have no clue on all the sev'n seas what ya mean."

"The sunken merchant ships? Ones headed for Northumer from Eroepa and Southumer? Now obviously you wouldn't sink my merchant ships, but I've noticed a fair few ships go missing over the grapevine. Records indicating an import is missing, an export never went through. That sorta small detail one could chalk up to incompetence or bureaucratic stupidity. I do all the time in the Bombpire."

Bonn began to walk towards Ahab again.

"But then there's the more concrete stuff Mitt's told me about. Now Mitt isn't a ship-kinda person, but he loves fucking around with radar and drones and he's seen a lot more unknown ships off our coast. Ships with no names, no codes, and no flags. But they look remarkably similar to the ships I have in my Navy and the ships under your command!"

Ahab Benjamine if he could sweat, would be sweating bullets as Bonn paced in front of him.

"Lemme just say, I don't have a problem with corruption Ahab. I encourage it sometimes. It leads to happier subjects, or sometimes in Greens's case- may make me a better tyrant." Bonn turned and gestured to Greens. "What I do care about is when my PR starts tanking and its cause of something well within the Bombpire's fault." Bonn turned around and pointed a heavy finger at Ahab's chest.

"These pirates of yours Ahab. I want a few things from them." Bonn held a gloved hand close to Ahab's face as he backed away and towards Camila.

"Firstly, I want a cut of the money you make. If you're gonna be stealing, I want some of that cash-"

"Yarrgh! yer' bribin' yer own Admiral?"

"Less bribery, more 'investments', the Bombperial government is a wasteful piece of shit, and the more money I have behind me, the more money I can spend to fix shit. So everytime you raid a merchant vessel, a part of that goes to me. Especially if its some import that didn't make it to port for tariffs. I still want my money's worth, aight?"

"Arrr, aye sir!"

"Second. Keep your privateers either locked up in port or do better jobs at disguising them. If Mitt and I can identify Bombperial ships, imagine all the other shmucks who can identify those 'pirate ships', disguise 'em, do whatever. But I don't want to hear a potential scandal about privateering. Especially with the war with the Anchovynes so close. Which brings me to my third point."

"Keep your damn pants and boots on Ahab. And tell that to the other sailors you have, threaten 'em, bribe 'em, I don't care. If I hear or see one twitch from the Anchovynes and that smug fuckin' Empress that we've started shooting them and I haven't given you the go-ahead. I'll cut you and every other ship that follows you off from ever entering Bombperial ports or waters ever again. You got that?"

"Aye aye sir!"

"Alright. So just remember, just keep it together Ahab, you'll get your war, you'll get your glory. And I promise you any loot you take from the Anchovynes you'll get to keep all to yourself. Every painting, golden coral reef, jewel, and even slaves. All yours, and wholly yours. All I'm asking is you wait until I fire the first shot, ya got that- 'Rustbeard'?"

"Arrrrggghhh, fine! Ya have me pirates guarantee! I'll not start shootin' yet. But ya better uphold tha' promised lootin'!"

Benjamine held out a gloved hand, Bonn in turn shook it.

"I promise you, you'll have all the loot you want. I just want what's rightfully mine and what's best for the country."

"Deal's a deal then, landlub- my Bombperor"

"Just call me 'Bonn', Ahab."

"Arrgh, fine Bonn. Deal's a deal."

"Alright, meeting adjourned. Ahab, go fuck some shit up."

Ahab saluted as he left the room.

"Greens. Show me this project you have."

Greens saluted as he led Bonn and Camila out; "Right this way!"

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Terribly sorry about the long wait. Time isn't my friend, even when I'm finally in summer.
Hope you all enjoy the continued Bombpire. But some extra news!
Venus! It'll be coming soon. Before July is all I can say.
I do hope you all enjoy a return to the Mainline and the continued Bombpire episodes.

Anyway, sappy shit over with, voting still has same rules, and ends the 23rd of June.

Description

Today was going to be a long day.

Bonn walked through the Palace towards the Palace's 'Grand War Room', where Greens and Benjamine had gathered to discuss the future of the war against Bill and eventually against the Anchovynes, as well as engage in the usual Army-Navy shitfling they often did during these Palace meetings. Alongside him for the recent meetings was his Empress- the Queen of the Bombpire- Queen Camila. A rather nice woman all things considered, just one small problem. As a priest of the dead and all that wasn't living, Camila could not speak. She was mute to be bluntly obvious. Camila usually communicated through signs and writing, her penmanship dare Bonn say was better than his. But given signage was not Bonn's language of choice, it left writing as the usual go-to between the two.

Which meant walking in the halls or down corridors left the two in complete silence.

It was too early in the morning for the Palace to seriously start functioning, the awkward walk was magnified by a lack of anybody to have a side conversation with or delegate orders to on the way to the War Room. It was just them, and them alone against the biggest trigger-happy idiots in the Bombpire.

The two strolled down the Palace's elegant renovated old-world architecture both awkwardly silent. The two eyed one another giving one another the "yeah today's gonna suck" look. Camila- as Queen of the Bombpire had become accustomed to Bombperial press and the people. But to the inner workings within the Palace. No. Bonn's lackies and friends proved to be a bit more of a hassle to become accustomed to. And Greens- the biggest belligerent on land against Benjamine, one of the most belligerent things on the ocean. The two together, shouting one another often gave Bonn headaches, Camila would voice her annoyances had she the ability to speak, she liberally wrote them out on every notecard in the Palace instead.

As the two came closer, the shouting match leaked through the walls and out of the doors.

"YOU WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO WAGE A WAR IF THE MANUAL HIT YOU IN THE FACE!"

"YARR BE FULL OF CORAL AND YARR FUSE BE WATERLOGGED IF YE THINK YE BE A BETTER WARRIOR THAN ME"

"I CAN AT LEAST FORM A COHERENT SENTENCE YOU HALF-PIRATE HALF-DUD ALL-BLOWHARD!"

"ARRRLIGHTY THEN YA WATERLOGGED LAD I'LL SHOW YA WHAT HAPPEN' WHEN YA MAKE ME MAD!"

Bonn opened the doors, seeing them at the opposite end of the room from where Camila and Bonn were soon-to-be-sitting, standing up in front of a map of the Bombpire. As much as he'd prefer these two to explode and end the meeting now, not having Greens or Benjamine at the forefront of thier respective posts meant the Army and the Navy suffered temporarily from thier loss. Not to mention, it took days to clean it up last time it happened. The first time they blew up was the last time they'd blow up he figured.

"Gents. Do you mind? I'd like my palace in one piece."

Camila shot a stern look at the two belligerents and signed out a threat.

"Now then. What is all this bullshit about today?"

"Aargh, I were promised a fine fun war against tha' filddy' water-walkers wid' all tha' booty and glory a proper war entailed! But the waterlogged fuselet has been stallin' on tha' war! Me crews are growin' restless sittin' 'way in tha' ports!"

Bonn pinched the space between his eyes, he hated when Ahab tried speaking more like a pirate.
"In a language we can all understand Ahab!"

"Arrgh, fine. Greens's is stallin' in the war against Buffalo Bill. He's hoggin' all tha' money, time, and resources for 'imself! The navy's getting tired of waitin' me Bombperor! We want our war now!"

"I'm sorry you lousy literal water-breather do you need to shoot billions of buffalo? Do you realize how hard it is to shoot a fucking buffalo? Buffalo don't surrender! Buffalo don't negotiate! Buffalo just charge, make noise, and die! Hopefully in that order! Not to mention the idiot leading all the buffalo is as dumb as a dud! He dosen't understand 3-syllable words, and I think he's barely grasping 2-syllables. Surrender's not anywhere in his head 'cause its all suffocated by his thick skull!"

"Then tha war should be easy you scurvy-ridden sulfurite!"

"I don't see you shooting water buffalo you rusted piece of shit!"

That comment struck Ahab Benjamine deep, call him a dud, call him a waterlogged bottom feeder, call him anything you want, but the beard. The beard made out of a carefully maintained rust, no that was too far. It was like insulting a man's vessel. A man's pride was at stake with that comment struck him deep in his core.

"I urge you to take back your comment right this secund before I make ya wish yew had a momma!"

Greens readied his fists while Ben raised his as well before Bonn brought out a gavel from hammerspace and knocked it on the table.

"Cram it crawdad. Ahab you'll get to make your case. Greens? Can you state your case?"

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-=An Order of Buffalo Wings=-
With the war preparations against the Anchovynes nearing completion, and Admiral Ahab Benjamines fleets at the ready, many political figures and much of the Admiralty are pushing for war with the fish-mongers. However with war against Buffalo Bill still going, a two-front war isn't popular with anyone with higher counts of braincells than 4. Though with discontent within the Admiralty, and Benjamine's privateer roots also beginning to re-surface, Bombperial leadership worries that a rouge Navy will start a war without thier supervision.
(Three choices can be made.)

Deals with the Peoples- The various other nobodies around Bill's Khanate, have expended their resources and auxiliaries in the war against us, throwing militias and barely functional armored formations our way to be easily dusted and turned to scrap. I- we can make deals with the tribes, convincing them to surrender, leaving Bill alone, but more importantly- angrier. The angrier Bill gets the stupider and more rash he becomes. Of course also being angrier also means less likely to surrender himself.
(The various lesser nations within Bill's sphere will be granted a 45% chance to surrender. While individually they're all small and petty, Collectively losing even a handful of these nations means less supplies for Bill to grab.)

Honk Our Horns- End of the day, buffalo are still animals. Instead of wasting money and guns on 'em, we could always screaming. Screaming's free. Or rather in the case of vehicles- honk. Deafening the herds out with large vehicular noises. Upon the Plains we shall set sail a fleet of tanks and trucks and shall part the waves of creatures commanded by the God of the Plains..
(Our vehicles will be made more obnoxious. Intimidating even. The Bombpire's Army will gain something akin to a 'battle cry'. When you'll hear the horns of war you shall run in fear or face the other 'horns' of the Bombperial Army. The buffalo will have 4 dice rolls, a successful roll will see a herd intimidated.)

Traitorous Critters- Buffaloes are still dumb, dumb creatures, as much as they are intimidating. Loud noises, bullets, napalm, all these things a buffalo can certainly face, but they're still internally shitting themselves at it. Recruiting spies and animal handlers to lead and train buffalo corps. our own from Bill's personal collection would help thin the numbers.
(How successful they'd be, impossible to say given buffaloes don't take numbers. But hey! Wheat and rye is cheaper than an A7-X standard anti-Tank gun. And having buffalo populations for our purposes would allow us to better understand these horribly magnificent creatures. Not to mention as good propaganda pieces. The buffalo will have 4 dice rolls, a successful roll will see a herd turncoat.)

Declare Victory at Regio- Old world archives suggest a provincial hub located on the city of Regio. Outside of Bill's personal encampment, the city itself is one of the few places in the Khanate that is settled by people. And as such is a key industrial hub for the Khanate, manufacturing buffalo-related armor and equipment, with limited quantities of sapient-related amenities.
(Walking into the city and declaring it a Bombperial outpost would likely make the local population rejoice. Serving sapients instead of buffalo is an upgrade of social status. And with Regio's capture, the Khanate would be fatally crippled. The Khanate has a 30% chance to collapse in the next year, but every year we hold Regio that the Khanate dosen't fall, that chance rises by 10%.)

Attempt a Summit- With the Star Gazer's surrender, and Man-o-War-tioba soon to collapse, and Bill's territory being used as a napalm testing ground- calling on Bill for peace would allow us to consolidate our gains in the west, and move all focus to the eastern coast and to the eventual Anchovyne war.
(Bill and his 'court' will be called to a peace summit in Saint Louis. The proposed 'white peace', we receive the conquered vassal states, Bill has his land returned, and we get ten years of peace between our nations. Though I don't believe Bill is able to comprehend diplomacy beyond 'screaming at it'. This has a 60% chance to fail. Bill cannot comprehend the word 'surrender', but maybe we can try and make him learn 'peace', this has a 25% chance to work.)
or
Call on the 'Company'- The Hudson Company, a fluctuating NGO north of the Bombpire's territory, the Hudson Company is a roving band of mercantile mercenaries who runs the far-north towns and ports of the Hudson Bay also 'on occasion' is for hire for military services. Hiring the Hudson Company as a permanent extension of the Bombpire would provide some much-needed stability on the northern border and allow for raids into the northern tundral plains of Buffalo Bill's turf.
(The Hudson Company, the Company, or 'the Hudsoneers', will be a permanent 'addition' of the Bombpire. Being technically independent of the Bombpire we could settle for a less favorable 'peace deal' [though think of it more an armistice]. And then keep Bill occupied in the far north with the Hudson Company mercenaries while we shoot fish in a barrel.)

Salt and Pepper the Earth- Bill and his worthless Khanate don't need to be wholly occupied, it just needs to be destroyed. Such a despot of the northern frontier, to destroy him and his empire would earn the Bombpire good favor across Northumer and her internal Zones. Bonn the Great Liberator of the North, they shall hail me as.
(A lightning fast campaign of destruction and mayhem across the northern frontiers will be permitted. Bill's buffalo army will starve without grass, and the few people that populate his Khanate will turn on their once sacred buffalo for feasts. Bill will be disgraced, and I! I shall be a hero! This is a guaranteed victory. Though it also does break the Khanate, creating a power vacuum in the north.)

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"All I'm saying is that we need to concentrate efforts on downing Bill. He's running a war of attrition, we're losing men and he's just losing stupid fucking farm animals. We need to concentrate our efforts on destroying Bill. Aerial recon has shown that his herds are heavily thinning and we need one grand push, one final big bang and we'll break the horde! Or maybe a few more pushes. . . but still Bonn, please. We need to focus on the war!"

Bonn and Camila were writing on note cards at their end of the table, said note cards were asking if one another where dinner would be at after this meeting.

"Hey, listen!"

The notecards slipped off the table and Camila bent down to pick them up while Bonn re-focused on Greens. "Uh-huh yes, good points."

"All I'm saying boss is that you've seen these fucking hulks of meat right? You've seen the shit Bill pulls? I can't complete it in one year! The man's got an inexhaustible supply of buffalo!"

"I've seen plenty of it Greens, I've seen plenty of what you're saying, however I need you to go faster. Be reckless if you have to, because if you don't we'll all be in deep buffalo shit."

"But how Bonn? Do I need to remind you I'm the one you put in charge of the invasion? I know how Bill works! I know his stuff! I've been beating this stupid brute back for 3 and a half years now. This is a war of attrition!"

"Greens don't fucking question my authority here. Alright? I know what you do, and I also know what the fuck I do." Bonn rose from his seat and strolled over to Benjamine and put his arm on his shoulder. "And I know that the Navy is also a band of brigands and slightly gawdy pirates." Bonn gestured with his hands at Ahabs form. His tricorne hat tipped with a feather, a 'beard' of rust covering the lower half of his face and some of his spikes. A uniform that looked not-to-out-place on an old old world wooden vessel. And a barnacle that had camped out on an arm that Bonn flicked away.

"Dawwrgh."

"Listen Greens, I understand what you do, but I also understand that the Navy is led by this fucking thing. And that if I don't deliver on this war that I promised, these fucking brigands will either start rioting and raiding the coast. Or worse. They'll start a war on thier own."
Bonn shifted from Ahab's side and moved over to Greens.

"I know what the fuck is happening. And I am saying we need a big result now or else we'll find a two-way war."

"You got that?"

"But Bonn-boss man."

"Find. A. Fucking. Way."

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-=Cementing the Marriage=-
The one year anniversary for this marriage is coming up, Some still detract the marriage, calling it 'merely political'. While that claim is true, we need to stop those kinds of truths from surfacing. Others simply dislike the idea of a Bomb and a Human marrying, claiming it 'sinful' or otherwise 'impossible'. Whatever the opposing problem is, faith in this marriage is reaching a low point, with the one year anniversary coming up, people expect big things by now. And by the Fuse we'll give it to 'em. Something big for everyone! Something to shut 'em up.
(Results need to happen! Now! One for each category!)

-The Domain of El Muerte-
Lest this marriage be dead in the water.

Bombperial-Styled Industry- Bombperial industry relies mainly on slaves, 'unwilling contractors', and other people-related positions- while we do have large quantities of industrial machinery, it is mostly local sweatshops and workshops that ironically do the heavy lifting of Bombperial industry. Contracting a few factory owners and Greens to build and send workers to the Domain to help boost their industry would allow the Domain to move beyond a mostly agricultural economy.
(The Bombpire will regularly send more 'willing' contractors and workers to the Domain to assist thier industrial output and factory managers will teach Domain industrialists how to properly industrialize.)

Temple Run- The Abominable Temple Grounds- or 'Dead Walkers Jungle' due to the folklore of undead sorcerers and voodoo witchcraft stalking the region has been a pustule on Northumer since the Greatest Clobberin'. With the Domain now in our 'domain', agitators from within the Domain's religious (and by extension political) caste have asked our assistance in clearing out the Temple Grounds. With our new excess amounts of flamethrowers and Peyote hunters from the war against Bill, perhaps clearing out this Jungle will be an easy affair.
(This will delay the war against the Anchovynes until the Temple Grounds are cleared! However doing so will net a lot of good favor and fortune from the Domain's population, and the Bombpire will be seen in a more 'positive light' internationally.)

Colony of New Ginya- Along the more eastern portions and under-developed portions of the Domain are some rather fertile grounds for a potential settlement of Bombperial citizenry. Convincing the Domain to allow settlement and the establishment of 'New Ginya' would bring a much needed economic hub in the Domain's northeastern provinces, spurring development in the region as well as allowing future exploitation of the Gulf Oil Sea and its- well its oil. On top of that we could also say its a 'cultural exchange program', Domain citizenry and Bombperial citizenry meet in one beautiful little town showing off both our wonderful nations.
(New Ginya will take time to develop and build up. But once fully settled, it'd allow us to have a firm foothold in the Domain and potentially within the Longhorn lands.)

-The Bombperial Boominion-
Or else this union explode into little pieces.

Northern Domain Mining- The Northern Domain is rich in minerals and ores thanks to the mountainous terrain, and the sandstorms from the Glass Wastes bring down particles of gold, silver, and [REDACTED], usually poisoning the rivers but hey- gold-panning isn't exclusive to gold-panning. Mining contracts in the Northern provinces would allow the Bombpire to extract a fair amount of wealth to return back home.
(The Bombpire will gain a lease on several mining towns and potential spots for mining and resource collection in Northern Domain territory. Allowing collection of rare minerals and other valuable gems not seen regularly within Bombperial territory.)

99 Years for Vallarta- Legally, the longest time one can have a lease to anything is less than one hundred years. Technically the longest time is 99 years. Buying Vallarta Island for 99 years to use as a Bombperial naval base will be plenty satisfying, especially to the Admiralty and more thalassocratic within the party. With a Bombperial base- nay- Bombperial territory on the Great Western Ocean, this will allow us greater freedom in deciding and screwing around with the western polities.
(Vallarta Island, a small tropical island will be home to a Bombperial naval base, and maybe a resort too. I feel like a nice day at the beach is what every great leader needs.)

The Adams-Greens Space Base- Something the two bloated bomb-brains agree on, a space program. Though for different reasons, they both understand that with the amount of missiles we have and records showing old civilizations on the old world sending rockets into space, it is possible to escape the gravitational pull and get out into space. Such an achievement they say has never been done since the Greatest Clobberin' and would propel the Bombpire forward decades.
(The Domain will sell a large plot of land for an aerospace base in the Southern provinces. Such a base and program will take time to complete however. And with the Temple Grounds harassing of the Southern provinces, it might be dangerous too.)

-Something for Everyone-
To please even the most stubborn of objectors.

A Castro-Brand Cigar- The Castro Archipelago sits between the Bombpire and the Domain. For a while we've thought of taking over the islands, however such expansion was challenged by a lack of a proper navy and a proper amphibious army. With the naval reforms made by Ahab Benjamine and the rather 'alright' invasion of Nawleans, a few on both sides of the Archipelago have argued an invasion would be mutually beneficial.
(An invasion of the Castro Archipelago will be carried out by Domain and Bombperial forces. One prong from the north and the east, and one from the south and west. We'll divide up the islands fairly and equally.)

This Feels Familiar- The Longhorns stand between us and the Domain. And while they fear an invasion from two angles, we can assure them that the Bombpire and the Domain are committed to the ideas of 'peace and prosperity'. All we ask for is a simple rail corridor across the land to access and connect the Domain with Bombperial territory.
(This does feel strangely familiar. A rail corridor across Tex- the Longhorn lands will be permitted and leased out for 99 years. Oh sweet Longhorn, like we're gonna need your permission to use it that long but the optimism is nice.)

Stabilize Claims- The Domain and the Bombpire both have varying territorial aspirations in Northumer. While the Bombpire is trying to lay claim to all of the Umeric continents, with the Domain a junior partner/Bombperial vassal state it'd be easy on our future bureaucracy and satisfy Domain nationalists to draw up territorial claims for our posterity.
(Claims across the Northumer continent will be drawn, dividing the line between Bombpire and Domain territory. Though arguably it still is and will be all Bombperial territory. But theatrics is an important part of running a nation.)

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"What do you mean find a way? I've been finding ways! That's my whole job!"

"Clearly you need some outside encouragement and help!"

"Don't fucking sass me man, I'm the guy you put in charge of the Army, I know my goddamn Army."

"And I know that. But results are results. And the Army can do fine slowly walking along, but you know what fucking can't? My leadership, and by extension- your leadership! We need a good PR move, we may need a few, but slowly trudging along, shooting buffalo is good and all, but it dosen't win the will of the people. It dosen't win the minds of people like those rioters in Delphia. It dosen't win over things like Benny boy over here. I understand Greens; that in a fight between the Bombpire and Bill- the Bombpire wins, but you damn well know who dosen't know that?"

Bonn walks back to his side of the table continuing the rant-
"Every-day normal people who go to work, eat, sleep, and pay taxes. People that don't care about grand reaching stratagem or operations of battle. You know what they care about? What they see on TV. These dumb stupid morons see us desperately trying to push past a horde of buffalo. These morons see the worst of the Bombperial Armed Forces, or they hear casualty numbers and they don't see those numbers as 'acceptable sacrifices' they go "Where my boys at?" "Where's my sons and daughters?" "My husband or wife?" They don't care about the grand picture, they can't see the grand picture. And I want you to fucking understand Greens, one last time. I understand you're doing great in the war."

Bonn didn't sit down and instead kept hovering around the chair,
"I just need you to understand what the fuck I'm dealing with. Aight?"

"Alright."

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-=War Plan Blue=-

We have the goods, we have the ships, and we have the idiots necessary for the war. We just kinda need to put it together. Guns blazing is a good strategy, save for the part where fire dosen't work underwater. So its just sad, soggy guns shooting sad, soggy bullets at sad, soggy fish. We need a definitive plan in action, cause while atomic depth charges are cool, we need to balance where they'll be set off or else we just cause a whole load of undersea quakes for nothing. Well it would be funny as the Fuse to destroy a lot of fish with atomic bombs, but still.
(Three prongs to the affix the trident of the Bombpire!)

Test Their Mettle- The Bombperial Guard has some limited undersea capabilities, a few private submersible craft and underwater diving uniforms. Giving them the green-and-go to try and assassinate the Empress as a first strike would cripple the leadership of the Imperium immediately. Even if they fail at killing the Empress, considerable panic and chaos would cause the Imperium to make rash and 'unwise' decisions.
(This does have a 60% chance to succeed off the bat. Failure or success however, expect similar treatment to befall Bonn.)
or
Experimental Murder- Mitt and Greens were disappointed in the fact a drone army wouldn't be ordered for the war. But Mitt's been pushing robots so much its been slightly growing on and annoying me. We'll listen to his pleas and send a few with the invasion. The drones we'll be able to send are dumb drones who can only explode and die. Fortunately thats good enough for government work.
(The drones will be sent to assassinate Empress Mairene, though given how dumb and limited they are, thats a 5% chance to work. Of course, subsequent drone strikes will be able to 'learn' from this, success or failure, raising the chances of future successful drone strikes.)

A 'Popular' Uprising- The Anchovyne groups we have on our money roll are a wide-ranging set of political issues and ideas, we could likely garner popular support from the public if we unified these groups under a singular leader and expelled some of the radicals. With a popular uprising we could paralyze the Imperium while we strike fear into it.
(The 'Anchovyne Popular Front', a 'constitutional monarchist' party will be formed by merging some of the disparate Anchovyne factions we have, and will start a proper civil war within the Imperium. Should we be victorious the 'A.P.F.' will be the center of a Bombperial puppet government.)
or
Expunge the Center- Centrists don't fight as much or as dirty as political extremists do. By focusing attention and resources on radical factions within Anchovyne society we can create a brutal and deadly insurrection throughout the Imperium, dragging the Imperium's resources away to try and fight thier own. Even if we lose this war (which we shouldn't) the radicals will continue to fight without our support, proving a nuisance for a long while.
(Should we win however, we will have to take sides with one of many radical factions, and proving a nuisance for any puppet government or any occupation forces. We could however also still use them to our advantage.)

Quakes in Our Wake- The atomic depth charges can't reach the bottom of the ocean and hit the floor. But we can still cause earthquakes through thier shockwaves. Making them as explosive as possible and positioning atomic depth charge detonation sites at strategic and especially weak points around the Imperium would trap thousands under rubble and severely damage critical infrastructure such as geothermal plants.
(This will cause the Anchovynes to be crippled throughout the war, post-war we will have to rebuild and undo a lot of the damage should we win. Said detonations however will have a slight chance of triggering an underwater volcano or a few. . .)
or
Strategic Storms- Filling the depth charges with as much 'dirty material', uranium, cobalt, and other heavy metals and radioactive substances would allow us to poison the Anchovynes by spreading out the fallout across swathes of the ocean floor. The Bombpire will have its work cut out for it. Their sailors will be too busy coughing up poison and tar to fight us. A triumph through the Empresses city guaranteed!
(Said poison will linger, causing health problems below the surface and above it. And likely fallout will hit and affect places like Big Apple and Eastern Ginya. Any potential puppet government we put in place will be poisoned from the get-go.)

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"Alright. Ahab. Your case."

"Greens's been taking too long in his war! You said it yerself! Green's is taken' too long and now the Navy wants its fill and it wants its war!"

"Greens has been busy fighting Bill for the last three years. That's why the Army's getting the most resources!"

"Arrg! But we should be gettin' more 'sources for the war against the sirens of tha' sea! Besides, Greens be skimming off the top! Some tha' nerds in the Navy've seen the recurds! Green's is takin' a lil' extra himself!"

"Greens. . . is that true?"

Bonn and Camila looked at Greens like a parents catching thier kid in the cookie jar.

"A little. It's for a project I'm working on. I swear it'll be worth it."

Camila signed out to Bonn- "How long, and how worth it will it be?"

"A few years. But sir it'll be worth it. You'll be one of the most- if not the most powerful thing on Northumer cause of it."

Bonn and Camila's eyes were raised, Camila signed to Bonn and Bonn whispered back.

"Alright. Fine. But I want to see it immediately after this. You make a bold claim like that, that's taking first priority."

Bonn turned back to Ahab.
"Now then. What do you have to show for your little doses of corruption?"

"Yar, wha'?"

"Oh come on, don't think I don't know about the extra money you make on the side and on my payroll."

"I have no clue on all the sev'n seas what ya mean."

"The sunken merchant ships? Ones headed for Northumer from Eroepa and Southumer? Now obviously you wouldn't sink my merchant ships, but I've noticed a fair few ships go missing over the grapevine. Records indicating an import is missing, an export never went through. That sorta small detail one could chalk up to incompetence or bureaucratic stupidity. I do all the time in the Bombpire."

Bonn began to walk towards Ahab again.

"But then there's the more concrete stuff Mitt's told me about. Now Mitt isn't a ship-kinda person, but he loves fucking around with radar and drones and he's seen a lot more unknown ships off our coast. Ships with no names, no codes, and no flags. But they look remarkably similar to the ships I have in my Navy and the ships under your command!"

Ahab Benjamine if he could sweat, would be sweating bullets as Bonn paced in front of him.

"Lemme just say, I don't have a problem with corruption Ahab. I encourage it sometimes. It leads to happier subjects, or sometimes in Greens's case- may make me a better tyrant." Bonn turned and gestured to Greens. "What I do care about is when my PR starts tanking and its cause of something well within the Bombpire's fault." Bonn turned around and pointed a heavy finger at Ahab's chest.

"These pirates of yours Ahab. I want a few things from them." Bonn held a gloved hand close to Ahab's face as he backed away and towards Camila.

"Firstly, I want a cut of the money you make. If you're gonna be stealing, I want some of that cash-"

"Yarrgh! yer' bribin' yer own Admiral?"

"Less bribery, more 'investments', the Bombperial government is a wasteful piece of shit, and the more money I have behind me, the more money I can spend to fix shit. So everytime you raid a merchant vessel, a part of that goes to me. Especially if its some import that didn't make it to port for tariffs. I still want my money's worth, aight?"

"Arrr, aye sir!"

"Second. Keep your privateers either locked up in port or do better jobs at disguising them. If Mitt and I can identify Bombperial ships, imagine all the other shmucks who can identify those 'pirate ships', disguise 'em, do whatever. But I don't want to hear a potential scandal about privateering. Especially with the war with the Anchovynes so close. Which brings me to my third point."

"Keep your damn pants and boots on Ahab. And tell that to the other sailors you have, threaten 'em, bribe 'em, I don't care. If I hear or see one twitch from the Anchovynes and that smug fuckin' Empress that we've started shooting them and I haven't given you the go-ahead. I'll cut you and every other ship that follows you off from ever entering Bombperial ports or waters ever again. You got that?"

"Aye aye sir!"

"Alright. So just remember, just keep it together Ahab, you'll get your war, you'll get your glory. And I promise you any loot you take from the Anchovynes you'll get to keep all to yourself. Every painting, golden coral reef, jewel, and even slaves. All yours, and wholly yours. All I'm asking is you wait until I fire the first shot, ya got that- 'Rustbeard'?"

"Arrrrggghhh, fine! Ya have me pirates guarantee! I'll not start shootin' yet. But ya better uphold tha' promised lootin'!"

Benjamine held out a gloved hand, Bonn in turn shook it.

"I promise you, you'll have all the loot you want. I just want what's rightfully mine and what's best for the country."

"Deal's a deal then, landlub- my Bombperor"

"Just call me 'Bonn', Ahab."

"Arrgh, fine Bonn. Deal's a deal."

"Alright, meeting adjourned. Ahab, go fuck some shit up."

Ahab saluted as he left the room.

"Greens. Show me this project you have."

Greens saluted as he led Bonn and Camila out; "Right this way!"

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Terribly sorry about the long wait. Time isn't my friend, even when I'm finally in summer.
Hope you all enjoy the continued Bombpire. But some extra news!
Venus! It'll be coming soon. Before July is all I can say.
I do hope you all enjoy a return to the Mainline and the continued Bombpire episodes.

Anyway, sappy shit over with, voting still has same rules, and ends the 23rd of June.