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skyeconnelly ā Parallel Universe
Published: 2009-11-03 18:46:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 1458; Favourites: 25; Downloads: 19
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Description
The streetlights pass by in a haze one after the nextLike military drones standing reluctantly in line preparing to salute
My eyes are glued to the road yet they reflect nothing but a hollow void;
A seemingly more desirable destination than my own chamber of dread
I'm miles away in that bastard land of make-believe
Where I won't have to drink to numb the pain corroding my heart
Won't have to sedate my pounding brain and crumbling sense of self
A place where the torment just sort of...
..drifts away with the burning clouds at sunset
Then all too quickly the sound of metal crushing, twisting, contorting
Pain and despair mixed with Jack and Jim overwhelm my eardrums
My life and my insides rip apart in steady, painfully precise synchrony
My vision nothing but a blur as voices hover with all their taunting
'I told you so's and 'could have been's
Launch me across the universe and all those that lie parallel
And land me right back in this heaping pile of rubble and stinking sulfur
While I navigate through a maze of smoke and glass and shame
Wishing I could just close my eyes and wake up in the clouds...
Instead, I heave the door open with every ounce of effort I can muster
Stumbling out of the car in all my glory and refinement,
"Look what I've become!"
The miraculous walking product of yet another
Should-have-been-life-ending-mistake.
If only the forgiving earth would swallow me up where I stand
In one profound gulp
Or perhaps, in disdain, cast me into a gaping black hole
Shall I burst into a magnificent array of flames?
Or throw myself out of a perfectly good airplane
Conveniently forgetting my parachute?
I'm deliriously faded
Just like everyone else
..and no one else.
I'm sick with myself
I scarcely eat
Every muscle forgets how to relax
Or what a day without a hundred stabbing, venomous knives feels like
I try to resume my functioning in every day life; a feigned attempt of normalcy
All the while, every passing car is yet another ostensible tomb
I can't see outside of myself anymore.
I'm lost in a vast ocean of failure, misery and burnt-out hope
No one casts out a steady lifeline
I'm not sure I could grab a hold of it if someone did
I lack the strength, the courage; the spirit I once had...
..to keep fighting
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Comments: 47
What catches me write of the bat is the language you use. It's so sophistacted! It let's you know that this is not just another "woe is me" poem.
The visualization for this comes easy, because you have set it up properly and well enough that it leaves an impact on the reader. I still see myself driving down the road and passing faceless people.
I love how you show that she's almost musing over the concept of suicide, which so adds to the tone of the piece. I absolutely adore it.
and the subject matter is normal and relateable, in all sense, average, but you still make it profound.
Absolutely beautiful e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/sā¦ " width="15" height="15" alt="
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As I always have felt with all your work, this feels alive. Not just words upon paper, but as true emotion made into a wonderfully fluid narrative. As I read, I could hear the voice of someone tormented speaking this. It had that natural flow like speech, but the grip of something greater.
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Your feedback is deeply appreciated. Thank you so much for taking the
time to read my writing!
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Mh, those moments... I can't even begin to comment, only add to my favorites.
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Why, thank you very much for reading, I appreciate it!
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Wow. I admire all the imagery and ideas here.
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Thank you for reading..
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"Look what I've become!"
The miraculous walking product of yet another
Should-have-been-life-ending-mistake.
I love this piece.
I'm so glad I found this, because it is simply incredible. I adore your descriptions.
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Oh all those hearts are for me?? Why thank you I'm so honored! Glad you liked this, was one of the more painful ones to write (and revisit) but a piece close to my heart nonetheless. Thanks again..
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Beautiful. Your use of language conveys so much of this piece. And even though it becomes quite clear it's about attempted suicide, I still have the impression that the person still has dreams, especially at
"Launch me across the universe and all those that lie parallel
And land me right back in this heaping pile of rubble and stinking sulfur
While I navigate through a maze of smoke and glass and shame
Wishing I could just close my eyes and wake up in the clouds..."
I don't know how to put it... It conveys negative and positive views at the same time... Or maybe that's just me xD
Might be the attempt failed because the character still subconciously has bonds with this world or even hopes? Anyways, I'm faving this
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Wow, this gave me chills.. I don't know why, I think because you really grasped what I was feeling when I wrote this. The polar extremes of wishing to die, and wishing to live were both so present in these defining moments in my life. I'm pretty lucky to be alive, after all my reckless abandon.
I really appreciate your kind words and that you took the time to read this.. really means a lot to me. I can't thank you enough.
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I'm glad my comment has caused such a positive ring in you, even though I can't even try to understand what a deep depression and suicidal thoughts are really about...
If you should ever experience such depths again, be strong. You cling to life for a reason.
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It really did affect me, and even if you haven't necessarily experienced the suicide stuff, like anyone else you can understand loss and grief.. so it's just another form of that. A more endangering form, to be sure. But this encouragement just stirs the depths of my soul.. especially "you cling to life for a reason." Never has anyone said it so clearly. This kind of just opened a new perspective of why I chase death, but only so I can brush up close to it, because I'm still really scared to leave this life.. I'm afraid of what I might miss.. that's all that's kept me going sometimes.
Thank you again for your encouragement, it really means the world to me.
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I'm honored, thank you!!! 
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It's my pleasure. (:
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Thank you so much..
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"I'm miles away in that bastard land of make-believe" - that's a fantastic line, one of those lines I wish I could have conjured.
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Really? Gosh, thank you! It is a bastard though, isn't it? It likes to drag me along with it everywhere.
Thank you for reading and commenting!!
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I really like this, another look into your soul, hm?
Beautifully written, and I like the language and your choices of words, it makes it seem like a lot more than one of those "suicidal teens" poems, it makes it deep and meaningful, and I like that.
Very good, very well written, I like it
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Thank you so much for your feedback, it truly means a lot to me. And for your kind words as well, it made my day to read this!!!
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You're welcome
Thanks, I hope you have a good day too
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Amazing, amazing, AMAZING.
I'm simply in love with this piece despite its dark tone. Oh how we've all dreamed of getting away from it all but we just know that that's not going to solve anything.
I really love how you managed to write out your feelings in such a beautiful manner. I, on the other hand, fail miserably when I try to do so. I always end up raging everytime. >(
Anywho,
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First off, thank you ever so much for speaking such kind praise of my words. It means more to me than you know. It doesn't come easily, for anyone I think...but this was, for some reason, so painful that I knew if the words didn't come out they would destroy me, so I kind of just let them flow without much thought. But I am really glad you enjoyed it.
I think your writing is splendid!!! You're wonderful.
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Came to return the favor, and the first thing I click is this. This is quite nice!
I've had one of those weeks(months) too. Believe me, I'm glad it's #$!%ing over.
Your words are phenomenal.
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"Launch me across the universe and all those that lie parallel
And land me right back in this heaping pile of rubble and stinking sulfur
While I navigate through a maze of smoke and glass and shame
Wishing I could just close my eyes and wake up in the clouds..."
^ Now that's something I can relate to... Not so much nowadays, but I, too, use to wish that I could escape such a haze of soulful irritation and mediocrity, and just be born again amongst a world in which brighter dreams flew freely. It's wonderful to realize that everything isn't as bad it seems though; life isn't black and white forever; hopeful colors always find their way into our universe, even if it is just one hue at a time.
I'm sorry that you had to feel such sadness to write this piece, but I hope you feel something more optimistic due to inspiring others with your words of provocation.
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Your words are beautiful, friend. And I know you speak truth, about the world and life not always being black and white; it's just hard to grasp sometimes. Thank you for your encourgament, and I am glad my words inspire...sometimes I feel my work is rather bland and redundant
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It is hard to grab hold of that stick in the stream sometimes, while it would seem much easier to simply drown, but we just have to keep in mind that there is at least something (or someone) worth holding onto, whether it be love, family, or even just life itself. While your words make yourself out to be saddened and discontent, I can read between the lines and see an individual that holds romantic promise and natural potential to achieve anything and everything.
Don't worry, I won't pretend to understand everything about you, but as an exceptionally emotive being in this world, I have a knack for seeing into the hearts of others, and your not-so-redundant words reveal more than you may believe. To see outside of oneself isn't easy (oh, how I know this), but promise can be perceived, and self-satisfaction will be what relieves your soul. Just keep digging, and you'll be smiling in no time at all.
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Ahh gosh, wow...I wasn't expecting this at all. You are way too kind, thank you so much for your encouragement. I will say that people remind me all the time of my potential, and yet, I'm constantly falling short of it...of whatever it is that people think I should be achieving...of what I think I should be achieving. It's rather disheartening. I don't know why people see potential in me to begin with...
Well, you're comment did leave me smiling, I will say. So thank you for that, my awesome deviant friend.
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The imagery is very intense. You're just drawn in by every word. And this may be one of the few times where the topic of depression and the like doesn't just sound self-pitying and idiotic. This is real emotion. Personally with most poems like this, I get bored and stop reading halfway through. But this was something else. Incredible. You did a fantastic job! Here's to the new week! May it be just as inspiring, but in a much different way! :raises a glass:
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I cannot even begin to express what this means to me, that you took the time to read my words.. my goodness. A hundred times, thank you. I most definitely wanted self-pity to be the last conclusion people could draw when reading this, because I did in fact get myself into this mess to begin with...
Anyway, truly, thank you. This totally made my day, you just don't even know.
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Must have been quite a week. O_O'
This feels incredibly raw and flows very well. Reading it is like falling through a dream. Well done
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It has been, but I think it helped to get it down on paper.
Thank you so much for your feedback, means a lot to me...the whole thing kind of felt like a dream, at that rate... thank you again.
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Yeah, writing helps let out some stress that you can't otherwise get rid of.
You're very welcome
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So agreed! 
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Heh, thank you! 
You too! Maybe then you can write something great about a lovely week instead of a hellish one
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Ah yes, that would be a refreshing change lol! And actually, the best thing is that things can only go up from here (before they come down again, but such is the rollercoaster of life) so...just gotta keep on truckin!
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Heh too true! Yah just gotta hold on and enjoy the ride, wherever it may take you.
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wow. youre amazing. incredible, wonderful, awesome. dont forget it. your writing is sooooo good
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Thank you for your uplifting words...
Truly means the world to me...
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