HOME | DD
slimEGGMAN — dwarf fortress
by-nc-nd
Published: 2008-12-01 16:13:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 16654; Favourites: 51; Downloads: 4238
Redirect to original
Description
a dwarf fortress joke XDin older versions, dwarves used to react incorectly to fire, so they put on burning clothes, and then died XD
Related content
Comments: 206
Still better than finding The Circus if you know what I mean...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
One dorf of mine had a pet dragon. One time he saw an intruder and threw the dragon at him and killed it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
OMG! How did you manage to get a pet dragon?
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Are you asking how to train your dragon?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Talk about clothing accidents. One soldier fell to a Wyvern's acid breath, melted away. Another one was drafted in her place and bled to death within days. The third one didn't fare better until I realized that the armor of the first guy was being handed down, still coated with a thick layer of Wyvern acid. Thanks Dwarves, that was really smart! I just sold all armor I had to the next caravan, let them figure out why their guards start dropping dead.
Were else can stuff like that happen?
👍: 0 ⏩: 3
Ooooh, it tingles! *preens in polished copper mirror*
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
OMG
Only in dwarf fortress, man. Only in dwarf fortress.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
that just made by day XD
...
*runs off to get myself acid-coated-armor to deal with some tree huggers*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
This is why nothing in Dwarf Fortress is wasted. My dead Dwarves are your Elven slaughter ^_^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
hehe. but I wonder, is it possible to send your army to a town or castle or something or is it bound to your fortress?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
So far, no invasions. Only defense. Remember, we're at version 0.31.25 - This game will not be finished in the next 10 years. There will most likely be wars and complex systems for land grabs and tributes once the mechanics for economy are back in place and actual war becomes possible, but it's just one guy working from home on a game that is bigger than just about anything on the market.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I know, I have awe people like him.
but is it possible to tell soldiers to go to a castle? like that you tell them to guard a room somewhere in it or something.
I'm not really into this game yet, just started. I just had my first fight where I actually knew what I was doing. first I fvought this gloomy thing which was dead before I knew it, but then I had to deal with bogeymen. it went pretty good at first, when they tried to charge at me they just bounced off and fell on the ground, or just broused my musscles, while I hacked away at their arms. I was fighting 2 at once, and a third was near me, but there came more, and when a fourth came near the party, I decided to walk away from them to get them in a line like the wiki told me, but I accidentally got on a slope, and could not see the bogeymen anymore. I tried walking back, but there I was attacked, why I still couldn't see the bogeymen. and then it went quick. really quick. the screen was filled with red text, like 3,4 pages or so, explaining how it came that there was a flashy text saying "deceased" underneath it. it turned out they bited and latched on/grabbed/kicked at my throat and head, shaking it, opening arteries, ripping away fat, and more pleasant things (I think one was busy with my head, the other with my neck and the third one was kicking away, dunno how he did that without accidentally hitting the others, though).
Ima get my revenge on them next time >
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Boogeymen are funking dangerous. Adventure mode is getting a big overhaul, too. In fortress mode it's a bit different.
Your soldiers, as of now, are part-time militia. They will train when on duty, they will follow orders like "kill this, kill all of these from a list, stand your ground around thataway" but you shouldn't expect them to go precisely where you want them to be like in an RTS, and they will need water and food after some time. It's usually just a matter of training and equipment, then sending your soldiers out to meet the enemy (preferably from a wall, pelting them with crossbow bolts until they bleed out). Then steal their stuff to melt it into bars for more useful things. Squads consist of a captain and 9 recruits, can become proficient warriors and even Lords at their weapon skill, but it takes a while and a few kills to get them to be useful, and don't expect hacked-off limbs to be replaced. Steampunk dwarves aren't in there yet, sadly. You can assign something like patrol routes, but usually you will need a few guard posts (tie a kitten to a leash somewhere, ambushes and thieves get spotted that way.
Guarding a room usually is unnecessary, fortresses shouldn't have more than one opening in my opinion. If you have a wall, a drawbridge and a nicely trapped main entrance, there probably won't be a problem until the Forgotten Beasts and Dragons show up.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ah ok. but with "guarding a room" I was talking about a room in an enemy castle, so the dwarves might go there, attacking the enemies there.
but I was actually thinking I might win, but now I think about it, it seemed an infinite amount of bogeymen would be showing up until I died. and I don't think I could kill the 3 bogeymen near me before the rest of the 6 came close enough to be part of the Fun.
I think I gotta learn more about the fortress mode before I know if I can do what I want most: going out killing stuff with a small army
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Bogeymen don't really spawn infinitely, they just run away if a dozen or so die. In fortress-mode you won't see any conquering going on, and in Adventuring mode that isn't really the case either. It's probably not even really in its alpha stage, as far as ToadyOne is concerned.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I know that they don't spawn infinitely, but I meant that I think that there would be a shitload of bogeymen in the suroundings, coming to me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
There definitely are, and they really don' like you running around at night.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
and I don't like them running around either...
But when there are few of them I can handle them, but 5 or 6, not.
and the problem is, I usually go around killing felines, kobolds, hostile humans and bears for fun (and to get stronger, because I wanna deal with this monster that just picks me up and strangles me to death in my current state), and then I get tired or wounded so I sleep to fix that and because I don't travel near beaches I can get attacked by these things DX
but I'm going to throw my stuff more, as people say that's overpowered XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Throwing is really overpowered. Think of throwing a bunny rabbit - equivalent at a Bronze Giant and decapitating it with that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
...ok I gotta make my throwing skill higher O_0
that will learn that night creature and his bride not to mess with me >:C
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Load up on fluffy wamblers [link] and unload upon these hordes of darkness thine righteous (if fluffy) wrath.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
O.0 screw that kobold bow I stored near the nightcreature, I gotta discover the source of that fluffy weaponary, quick!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
There is no greater weapon than fluffy, adorable humanoids. Throw them for great justice!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
...if I only knew where they were...
but do you know how to find caves? I know about them after looking at legends, and there are some interesting spots (with a wicked man, night trolls, and more) but so far I can't even find a dwarf fortress (I went to the spot where it was supposed to be, but there wasn't ANYTHING, no dwarves, no houses, should I have looked for caves?)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I found one entrance down into caves before, a few villages and a dwarven City (not a Fortress), no luck finding one of my abandoned Fortresses so far, it's probably going to improve in the coming update.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oh, I was talking about a dwarven city, I just called it a fortress (the world I'm talking about is adventure-only). but do you have tips for finding a dwarvencity entrance when you're on the spot where in the menu which displays caves and such says *** next to Ω?
because even though my world isn't good for adventuring, I wanna slay a few monsters before dumping it before creating a new and better world for adventuring.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I never really found anything bigger than a castle or a village, I'm waiting for the update to make everything fabulous.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oh, but how did you find those dwarven cities? just looking anywhere for a cave or something?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I have no idea at this point, it has been some time since I played adventurer. There is a wiki for the game though.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I know , when I hit the _____ symbol in the upper right corner, the internet
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _|___ .. |
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .| . . .. . |. |
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .| . . .. . |_|
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .|_____|
window goes in the perfect stance that allows me to have dwarf fortress next to it, so I can easily browse through the wiki while playing the game (and I can even put msn in the open space 
however, the wiki doesn't say anything about how a dwarven city looks like, so I hoped you could tell me more. guess I gotta ask youtube then.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It helps to watch a bunch of let's plays, too. Like JefMajor or 51ppycup
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yeah, but I tried but it doesn't keep me interested long, as I want to continue exploring myself. ah well, I'll just return and search that entrance. I just found the entrance of the only koboldcave in my pocket world. it's so huge... and empty, I can't even find the bodies of all the kobolds who starved to death (so the deaths in history probably don't leave corpses) D: yet huge... with goodies! but that cave is my second problem, I went through the entire place and ended up in the natural caves below, which has water... but still lacks Fun. if I'm sure I explored every bit of this cave I'll go back... if I don't end up lost in the progress XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I like Deon's Genesis mod, played a Werewolf wrestler for a while, until a Wyrm spit poison on me and his brain rotted away.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
...and I though I had a badass character because he defeated giant scorpions easily O_0
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Well there's bigger stuff coming. Dragons and such.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
and forgotten beasts ^_^ if I find one...
for those I need a bigger map so I can find more people to join me, or start learning fortress mode, as it is the most Fun mode
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Fortress is where it's at! I would like the perspective to be changed a little, the layers are a little confusing when it comes to massive caves or mountains with plenty of slopes, I shouldn't have to switch down to see what's 5 foot in front of me, but that's probably going to be added sometime.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yeah, I've heard some stories about it, and now I wanna see some myself
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
There's always Boatmurdered...And Syrupleaves...I miss SomethingAwful.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I was talking about experience stories like those myself, but I didn't read those. thanks for the tips
but I wonder,in fortress mode (I just started) when I move my camera around, it hits an invisible wall. can I expand the area I can look at or am I restricted to this area? I don't hope so.
anyway, I love fortress mode already. it's fun to see these dwarves move around mining stuff and picking up stones, it's like I'm the leader of a small community of dwarves
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Fortress mode means you have what you have, there's no expanding past the 4x4 field. You can increase the embark area when you chose the location. Usually there's about 120 levels below to explore, so don't worry about not having enough space.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
why didn't I know about that earlier D: ah well, I'll probably die soon enough XD I wonder how...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It will be FUN any way it happens.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
XD I wonder, how was your first Fun like?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
The Clown Car. I delved too greedily and too deep, and doesn't matter if you have Adamantite Armor, the clowns don't care a bit, most of them can't even be killed.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
the big jackpot? sweet! I wonder, did you know about the adamantite's secret already or were you just happy to get this awesome kind of material, and tried to dig em all not knowing it would lead you to some colourfull Fun?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I was aware that the pillars were hollow, I wasn't aware that the FIRST ONE I DIG INTO actually releases the clowns...terrible, winged demon clowns spitting boiling acid at my dwarves and slaughtering them by the hundreds.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
| Next =>